First to Dance

by Sonya Writes

  He gave her an odd look.

  “Plural ‘you’ of course,” she said. “But if I’m right, we could get the children to start exercising their ability to remember, and perhaps their hippocampus will develop more strongly, perhaps even fully, by the time they are adults. The brain forms the most synaptic connections in the early years, so if we can get them thinking and remembering now, it’s possible that we could teach the next generation here to remember their lives. We could change the world.”

  “So what you’re saying is: if we get them to start exercising their memory as children, they can possibly strengthen their ability to remember, and carry that ability on into their adulthood.”

  “Exactly. I could be wrong, but I think you’ve all been stuck in an un-ending cycle of forgetfulness. The parents are forgetful, so they don’t put energy into helping the children form a better memory, so it’s not being formed.”

  “Well what do we have to lose? Let’s get to work.”

  Ayita quickly figured out that she wasn’t very skilled at dealing with children, but her weakness was one of Ziyad’s strengths. Like everyone in their community, he was involved with the children on a regular basis. He knew how to get their attention and keep them from zoning out.

  “Explaining this to them won’t work, Ayita. We just have to do it. Let’s set up a game.”

  So they did. They set up a brief race with obstacles and gathered five of the children to play.

  Ziyad explained. “We’re going to have a race,” he said. “From here to that tree. Ayita will stand by the tree to determine the winner. On your way, you have to jump over that log, and when you get to the blanket there are five balls on it. You must toss one in the air and catch it before you can finish. The first one to the tree wins!” The kids looked excited. “Now,” Ziyad said, “Tell me what you need to do to win.”

  “Get to the tree!” one child eagerly stated.

  “And what else?”

  A child looked past him to their goal. “Jump over the log?”

  Ziyad nodded. “One more thing,” he said.

  The kids looked to one another.

  “Grab a ball, throw it, catch it,” Ziyad reminded.

  “Grab a ball, throw it, catch it,” one of the children repeated.

  “You got it!”

  The first time they ran the race, one of the children ran around the log instead of jumping over it, and Ayita had to remind all five to go back and throw a ball in the air before they could finish. The second race, only three of the children needed a reminder to go back and throw the ball in the air. By the time they were done, all five children plus two more who joined them were able to run the race without forgetting any of the steps.

  “I think it’s working,” Ayita said.

  “We’ll see,” said Ziyad. “We’ll find out tomorrow if they still remember it. Then we can add a few more obstacles and see what they do with that.”

  By the end of the second week there were twelve children playing their game, and the race had gotten quite a bit more complicated. Jump over the log, toss and catch the ball, spin around three times, crawl to the flag, run to the tree, then turn around and do it all again in reverse order on the way back to the start line. Each child needed at least one reminder during the race, but little by little they were getting it.

  Ayita enjoyed these activities, and it was exciting to her to see the kids learning so well, but it also drained her mentally and emotionally. She wasn’t used to this level of interaction with other people, and it took more patience than she knew she had to work with a group of twelve extra-forgetful children. So when their activities were done for the day, her patience was spent and she was ready to relax.

  On her way to the forest, she glanced in the direction of the lake that she crashed into when she first arrived. That first contact was so far her only contact. She never swam in that lake. I will swim there one day, she thought, but not today. She moved on into the forest.

  Dakarai smiled when he saw her. She had to remind him again of her name, but Ayita was used to this by now and did not expect him to remember. She still hoped that someday he would, and occasionally she tried to teach him a memory game, but for the most part she took a relaxed approach to their friendship. It was a warm, late-summer day, and as usual Dakarai convinced her to go swimming with him.

  Ayita eased into the water and swam out to the center of the lake where Dakarai was. They treaded water for a while, facing each other and talking, when her arm came up out of the water and she accidentally splashed him. He, however, took it as deliberate, and a mischievous smirk formed across his face. He splashed her back, then disappeared under the water before he could see that Ayita was annoyed by it and a little bit shaken. As she wiped her eyes dry, she started feeling uneasy again. She looked around, but Dakarai wasn’t there. Then, before she could figure out what was happening, he rushed up out of the water behind her, put both of his hands on her shoulders, and pulled her down under the water with him. The water quickly invaded her lips and filled her mouth, and again Dakarai was gone. His hands weren’t on her shoulders or anywhere near her, and all she could see in the water was the blackness below and the light above. Coughing under the water only made the situation worse, but she could hardly help the reflex. She reached up and up and kicked her legs furiously until at last her hand surpassed the barrier and hit the cool crisp air. She brought her hand down and pushed on the water until her head hit the surface and she could breathe again, only, she still struggled to breathe because of the water she was coughing out. Her hand went to her neck and she worked hard to keep her legs kicking as she tried to catch her breath.

  Sitting safely at the edge of the lake, Dakarai was laughing and smiling. When he finally noticed that she was coughing, the laughter stopped and he jumped in to help her.

  Once Ayita was back on the ground, she took a moment to breathe steadily, then jumped up and walked away from him without a word. He tried to follow her, but when he asked what was wrong, she turned to him angrily and said, “Don’t talk to me right now.” Dakarai stood still and frowned, unsure of why she became so upset.

  Ayita reflected on the incident as she returned to the community to find Panya. She wasn’t sure why she was so angry. She knew he was forgetful, and she felt the incident was at least partly her own fault for not reminding him that she couldn’t swim very well. I’m just in a bad mood today, she thought. She swam well enough now that he probably assumed she was as strong a swimmer as he was. Still, it bothered her. It bothered her because he was like the children she was teaching. “Uh oh. You forgot to crawl on your way to the flag! Go back and try again!” She could smile when she spoke to the children this way, but she didn’t want Dakarai to be a child. She wanted him to be a man. And he was a man, but she didn’t know how much she could treat him like one.

  By the time she found Panya, she’d already processed the situation and wasn’t sure she wanted to bring it up. But Panya was usually her sounding board when it came to Dakarai, so she decided to talk about it anyway.

  “He’s not a child,” Panya said, “But I can see why you might feel that way, since you’re so used to people remembering everything.”

  “I know he’s not a child,” Ayita said. “I guess I just hoped he would grow to remember me more by now.”

  “His memories aren’t in his mind,” Panya said. “They’re in his heart. I’m sure he remembers you a lot more than you think. He might forget your name every day until the day you die, but he won’t forget that he cares about you.”

  “You seem to know him really well.”

  “We grew up together,” Panya said. “He didn’t always hide himself away in the trees like he does now. He was my best friend for a while.” She looked down at her hands and took a deep breath. “After he left I stopped thinking about him so much, but now that you’re here, it’s like I think about him all the time. The more I think about him the more I remember. He’s a good man, and I hope you’ll forgive
him.”

  “I do forgive him,” Ayita said. “I’ve always promised I would forgive him, and I do.” She sighed. “Thank you for listening, Panya. I’m not upset anymore. I think part of it was just bad timing. I’m so emotionally tired these days. I like to relax when I’m with him, and that wasn’t at all relaxing.”

  It was dark out when Ayita returned to the tree she slept beneath. Dakarai’s song wasn’t playing, so she assumed that he already went to bed. He normally played his song late at night when he couldn’t sleep. Ayita remembered Ziyad’s words to her about building a friendship that can keep a heart safe, and she wondered if she should go into the forest anyway and apologize for walking out on him the way she did.

  She sighed. “He’s most likely forgotten it already,” she said to herself. “I missed my chance.”

  She lay down and was about to close her eyes when she heard footsteps coming from the forest. She looked and there was Dakarai walking toward her. There was a brief moment of silence between them when he arrived. He spoke first.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what happened back there, but I’m sorry for whatever it is.”

  Ayita was surprised. He remembered.

  “I couldn’t stop thinking about it after you walked away,” he said.

  She pulled him close and hugged him. “I’m sorry too,” she said. “I’m sorry for walking away.”

  “Please tell me what was wrong. I know you started choking in the water, but I didn’t know why you were so upset with me.”

  “I’m not a strong swimmer,” she said. “To be honest, the water still scares me.” She explained before he could ask, “I’ve nearly drowned twice already. When you pulled me under the water I kind of freaked out.”

  “Oh,” he said. “I didn’t know.”

  “You knew,” she said. “You forgot.”

  Dakarai didn’t say anything, and they didn’t look at each other. Finally, he asked, “Have you never swam under water?”

  Ayita shook her head.

  “Want to learn?”

  Ayita smiled, and shook her head again.

  “You have to overcome your fears sometime.”

  “Sometime,” she said. “Doesn’t have to be now, or soon.”

  “Well, why not?” he asked.

  Ayita didn’t have an answer to give him.

  “Come on,” he said. “Come with me. I know now, and I can help you be okay in case anything similar happens again.”

  “It’s late,” she said.

  “I know. Come anyway. It’s either now, or the same thing might happen again tomorrow.”

  Ayita thought about it, and smiled. “I’ll just remind you tomorrow. I’ll be better about reminding you.”

  “Not good enough,” Dakarai said. “What if you fall in sometime and no one’s there to save you?”

  “Then I suppose I’ll drown.”

  “I’m going to teach you how to swim underwater.”

  “I’m not comfortable enough to try that yet.”

  “Isn’t life about stretching the comfort zone?” he commented.

  “Not always,” she said.

  Dakarai flashed her a smile. “It is today.”

  He took off toward the lake, the one right beside them. Ayita jumped up and followed him.

  “I’m not swimming here,” she said.

  “Why not?”

  She looked at the water. Somewhere in that dark hole her spaceship was probably growing lake grass and gradually filling with mud. It died down there, and she would have too, if it weren’t for Dakarai.

  “Let’s go swim in the other lake,” Ayita said. “The one by the waterfall. The one we always swim in.”

  “This one’s closer,” Dakarai said.

  “I’m not swimming here.”

  “Then we won’t swim,” he said.

  No way, Ayita thought. He doesn’t give up like this.

  “Come here, by the sand.” He walked over to the lake’s smooth sandy beach. This lake wasn’t like the one where he lived. That one had sharp drops and was surrounded by rocks. It was a big bowl in the middle of the forest. This lake was different. It was surrounded by earth that gradually descended into the water. A person could wade in this lake.

  “Kneel down, here,” Dakarai said. “The water’s only a few inches deep.”

  Ayita still didn’t want to touch this water. It felt sacred, somehow. Dakarai watched her face as she stared at the lake. She looked scared and unsure. He moved and sat down several feet from where the water started. Ayita sat beside him and they sat together for a very long time. Dakarai picked up her hand in his and held it. Ayita wondered what it meant.

  Then Dakarai said, “Are you ready?”

  Ayita sighed. She looked at the water, and she didn’t want to go in.

  “Yes,” she said. “I trust you.”

  They knelt in the water together, and Dakarai showed her how to plug her nose with her fingers.

  “Then just take a breath, close your mouth, and put your face in the water. When you need to breathe, come back up.”

  Ayita looked at the water hesitantly. “I can do this,” she said.

  “You can do this.”

  And she did it. She plugged her nose, kept her mouth closed, and willingly put most of her head underwater, face first. She stayed there for several seconds before coming back up, and when she wiped the water off of her eyelids, there was Dakarai looking back at her with a smile.

  I was wrong, she thought. He’s not the child; I am. Then she smiled too. I guess we both have a few things we can learn from each other.

  “See?” Dakarai said. “You can do it.”

  “I suppose I can.” She took a slow deep breath which led to a yawn. “I’m tired Dakarai. I don’t want to do anymore tonight.”

  “We won’t,” he said. “But promise to remind me about this tomorrow, and I’ll help you actually swim underwater.”

  Ayita laughed a little. She wasn’t sure she wanted to make that promise. But she did.

  Ayita gave Dakarai his reminder about an hour after she and Ziyad finished their activities with the children. It was late in the afternoon, and though she was tired, she thought she was ready.

  Dakarai smiled, plugged his nose for show, then bounced into the water. Ayita waited for him to resurface, and he shortly popped up in the same spot he’d entered in. He unplugged his nose and breathed.

  “Now you try.”

  “What? I don’t think so.”

  “Yes,” he said.

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “Maybe.”

  Dakarai smiled. “It’s not scary,” he said.

  “To you.”

  “Okay, then just hop in and hold onto the ledge for this first try,” he told her. “You’ll have complete control of it. You can come back up as soon as you need to, but you’re going to get your whole body underwater today.”

  Ayita nodded.

  “Try it,” he said.

  Ayita was breathing deeper, now. “I will,” she said. “In a sec.” She lowered her body into the water and kept both hands tightly gripping the rock. Her breaths were slow and steady.

  Dakarai smiled. He watched her, patiently waiting. He knew she would do it.

  Ayita closed her eyes for a moment. She imagined she was somewhere else. Then she took a long breath and plugged her nose with one hand as she quickly pushed herself downward with the other. Suddenly the water seemed to close in on her. She felt really small in this giant body of water. It scared her, the same way it did every time. She quickly pulled herself back up to the surface.

  “I don’t think I want to do this,” she said.

  “Yes you do.”

  Ayita nodded. “Yes…I do….” and with her index finger and thumb she plugged her nose after brushing her hair behind her ears, and she lowered herself again into the water. It was the same feeling, but Dakarai was right: she could control it. There was nothing to fear. She had one hand safely on the led
ge, no water was invading her lungs, and she could come back up whenever she wanted to. She stayed under for a few seconds before resurfacing.

  “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  “I guess not,” she said. She tried it a few more times before climbing up out of the water and sitting down in the grass. The sun was setting and there was a cool breeze in the air. Summer was almost over, she knew. It wouldn’t be long before they left this place. Ayita looked forward to seeing their winter dwellings. She hoped she would find the space center there, but at the same time, she hoped she wouldn’t. Ayita shivered and she held her arms, though the air was still warmer than the water was.

  “You’re cold?” he asked. He pulled himself out of the water, and sat down in the grass beside her.

  “A little,” she said.

  “Won’t be long before winter hits.”

  Ayita nodded.

  “Are you excited?” he asked.

  “For winter?”

  He smiled. “No, the autumn events.”

  “Autumn events?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “When summer ends there’s a huge celebration.”

  “Oh?”

  Dakarai nodded.

  “And you remember that this happens?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “It always has. I can feel it coming, like the cold. It’s like moving back and forth from here to the winter buildings. It just happens every year.”

  “I see,” she said. “What are you celebrating?”

  Dakarai made a face, and thought. “I don’t know, actually,” he said.

  Ayita smiled. “Does anyone?” she asked.

  “Maybe we don’t need a reason.”

  Ayita nodded.

  The sun went down and they were still talking. Finally, she yawned and told Dakarai good-night. As Ayita walked out of the forest and back toward the table-top tree where she slept, she could hear the melodic playing of Dakarai and his small wooden instrument. She closed her eyes and danced beneath the stars.

  10