Riccardo's Secret Child

by Cathy Williams

  ‘You frightened her,’ she said eventually, her eyes flicking to his own shuttered, brooding gaze. ‘Or maybe I should say that you overwhelmed her.’

  ‘And I suppose she lost no time in confiding all these girlish secrets to you?’ he asked acidly. ‘Instead of confiding in me and trying to make a success of our marriage, she sought comfort in the arms of a stranger and found release in pouring out her problems on any receptive ear she could find, just so long as it wasn’t mine!’

  ‘Stop making yourself out to be the angel, Riccardo!’ Julia snapped, only realising afterwards that she had called him by his name, conferring an intimacy on the situation between them that she strenuously resisted.

  ‘Oh, but I was the angel,’ he said smoothly. ‘There were times when I could easily have taken a lover, when the thought of returning to the house and to a wife who made love as though under sufferance would have been incentive enough, but I didn’t.’

  ‘What a saint,’ Julia muttered under her breath.

  ‘Sorry? I didn’t quite catch that.’

  ‘I said that I’m feeling rather tired. Do you want to arrange another day for you to come over and see Nicola? I know that she’s going to one of her little friends’ for tea tomorrow, but perhaps the day after? Or maybe some time on the weekend?’

  Riccardo felt a surge of irritation at her diversion tactic, but he swallowed it back and he hid his natural anger at finding his movements dictated by someone else.

  ‘Perhaps Saturday,’ he said, ‘I can take you both out to lunch somewhere. Where would she like to go?’

  ‘Oh, any place where the meal comes in a box with a toy,’ Julia told him with a smile and he grimaced.

  ‘In other words, French food is out of the question.’

  ‘Out of the question,’ Julia agreed. She looked at him curiously. ‘This must be, yes, I know, very hard for you, but also…very different. Do you have nephews? Nieces?’ She stood by the kitchen sink, arms folded.

  ‘Four nephews, all much older. They live in Italy with my two sisters and their husbands. As for nieces, no. But she has a ready-made family, complete with grandmother.’ He grimaced wryly and caught Julia’s eye. ‘My mother is a very assertive woman,’ he said, almost adding a bit like you. ‘But very fair. She has been longing for a bambina in the family. Nicola will find herself swamped by her affection.’

  ‘And you’ve told them about…the situation?’

  ‘Not yet, no. You have your own timescale as to when you think Nicola should be made aware of who I am, and I have mine when it comes to my family.’ He stood up and raked his long fingers through his impossibly dark hair while Julia watched him cautiously from a safe distance.

  ‘And what are your…intentions once Nicola knows that you’re her father?’ Julia asked, taking the bull by the horns. ‘The reason I ask is that if you intend to return to Italy to live and take her with you then I shall do my utmost to prevent it.’

  ‘Is that a threat?’ he asked mildly, shrugging on his jacket and preceding her to the front door.

  ‘Of course it’s not.’ Julia wrapped her arms around her body, hugging herself. ‘But this is the only life that Nicola knows. To be removed from it…’

  ‘Would require a little adjustment but would not by any means be an impossibility.’ He paused by the door and stared down at her. ‘However, for the time being at least, that is not on the agenda. My work takes me all over the world but I am primarily based in London.’

  Julia breathed a sigh of relief. For all the changes that Nicola’s presence in her life entailed, she would be lost without her. They had always been close, more so now. She uneasily wondered whether Nicola didn’t serve the even greater purpose of filling the void in her life, the same void she denied having to her mother whenever the question was raised.

  ‘So I shall see you on Saturday?’ she said shakily and he nodded.

  ‘About ten-thirty?’ He pulled open the door but instead of walking to his car leaned indolently against the door frame and stared down at her. ‘And don’t forget.’

  ‘Forget what?’

  ‘Why, Julia, that we’re lovers, of course.’ His dark eyes roamed over her flustered face, a sensation he enjoyed thoroughly, then he succumbed to the wicked urge that had been plaguing him all night and he lowered his head, covering her startled mouth with his. It was a fleeting kiss, a shadow of a caress, and it tasted as sweet as honey.

  And as paralysing as an electric shock, Julia thought numbly as he straightened and turned away as though nothing had happened.

  And she had worried about the dangers of him trying to remove Nicola, to take her to Italy to live!

  What about the danger lying far closer on her doorstep? She brushed her mouth with the back of her hand but she was still trembling by the time she made it to bed.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ‘I AM beginning to have a whole new outlook on the word exhaustion,’ Riccardo said to her on the Saturday afternoon as the three of them made their way back to the house.

  Julia looked over Nicola’s head in the taxi and caught his eye. ‘Perhaps it was a mistake to promise that she could choose whatever toy she wanted.’ But she couldn’t make a big deal of it. It had not been a case of buying his daughter’s affections, more trying to win them using the only currency with which he was familiar, namely money. Moreover, she was grateful that in his daughter’s presence, he had been the epitome of charm and politeness, with none of those searing looks that were aimed to remind her of her criminal status in his eyes.

  She was also grateful that there had been no mention of that farewell kiss of a couple of evenings before, and in fact, she had reached the point of wondering whether she might have dreamt the whole thing.

  ‘I didn’t realise that women began procrastinating from as young an age as five,’ he responded drily, raising his eyebrows in bemusement.

  ‘Are you talking about me?’ Nicola asked, perking up at the mention of her age, and he smiled down at her, tempted to cradle the back of her dark head with his hand. He was aware of Julia looking at him and had to force himself not to look up suddenly and catch the expression on her face.

  ‘We’re wondering how come it took you three hours to finally choose your marker set and a handbag,’ Julia said, smiling. ‘They were the first things you saw!’

  ‘I know, but I wasn’t sure… I’m going to draw a picture of Mum and Martin,’ Nicola said earnestly, then she turned to Riccardo. ‘Would you like me to give it to you?’

  Dark eyes clashed with grey ones.

  ‘Of course. That would be very nice,’ he said, only the tiny muscle beating in his jaw a sign of his thoughts. Strange, he had been gradually lulled into a sense of family, of belonging, and had almost forgotten that he was still on the outside looking for a way in. He averted his face and stared out of the window, watching the crowded streets race by.

  ‘And maybe you could also draw a picture of a house,’ Julia intervened hastily; ‘you know how brilliant you are at drawing houses. A lovely tall house like the one you live in, with a red roof and a blue door.’

  ‘Our door isn’t blue.’

  ‘Well, cream, then.’

  ‘Will Gran be there when we get back? I want to show her what I got.’

  ‘No, no, I don’t think she will be. We can go visit tomorrow.’

  ‘Will you be coming over tomorrow?’ Nicola addressed her father and he turned round to look at her. The long, dark hair fell in a tumble along the little shoulders, rippling down her dark green anorak with the patches on the elbows. Her legs stuck out along the seat of the chair, not long enough to dangle over the edge, and her feet were encased in sturdy trainers that, she had proudly pointed out to Riccardo, lit up every time she walked.

  He didn’t even know whether he could answer that question without first getting permission from her aunt. He knew that it was irrational to continue feeling angry when anger did nothing to alter reality, but he could still feel it take him over.
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br />   What did Julia know of loss? he wondered. Loss like he felt whenever, it seemed, he rested his eyes on his daughter. Nothing.

  Why shouldn’t he make her find out? He had felt the way her mouth had trembled under his and he knew that under the self-control lay passion. He could stoke that passion and then when he walked away from her she too could feel some of the pain he was enduring now. Never as much, but enough.

  He raised his eyes slowly to Julia’s and held her stare.

  ‘Why don’t we play it by ear, Nicky, OK?’ Julia said eventually.

  ‘Does that mean yes or no?’

  ‘It means we’re not too sure yet,’ Riccardo said gently, ‘although I would love to come visit tomorrow. Maybe take you to the zoo, check and see how those animals are doing in this cold weather.’

  This time when Julia looked at him it was with a frown of disapproval and Riccardo met her eyes with an edge of steel, while between them Nicola began bristling with excitement at yet another weekend treat in store. Not even Julia’s dampening suggestion that they might be busy in the morning was enough to deter her enthusiasm.

  ‘You shouldn’t have made a promise like that,’ was the very first thing Julia said once the taxi had dropped them off at the house, but she had to keep her voice low so that their conversation was not overheard.

  ‘But I have nothing planned for tomorrow.’ Riccardo feigned innocence. ‘So why not? Did you not think that today was a roaring success?’

  Julia didn’t answer. She turned the key to the door and was instantly greeted by her mother, face aglow with excitement to find out how their day had gone.

  Julia groaned inwardly.

  ‘You didn’t tell me you were coming over, Mum,’ she said as brightly as she could, harking back with a sense of foreboding to their most recent conversation, during which her mother’s seemingly incessant preoccupation with her daughter’s man-less state had taken an alarming twist.

  ‘I mean, Jules,’ her mother had said coyly, ‘he is very good looking, isn’t he? And I must say, I’ve warmed to him since I’ve seen how he is with Nicola. Not a man to shirk his responsibilities like so many young people today.’

  ‘Where are you going with this, Mum?’ Julia had asked, as though she couldn’t see very well for herself exactly where it was leading.

  ‘It’s not going anywhere.’ But there had been no time to release any sighs of heartfelt relief. ‘I’m just saying that you don’t seem to have met any nice young men yet and why not seize the opportunity to get to know him? You’re bound to naturally find yourselves getting close because of Nicola.’

  Julia had wanted to point out that Riccardo Fabbrini was about as nice as a roving python on the lookout for its next meal, but she had resisted. Her mother was gradually succumbing to Riccardo’s well-directed charm and Julia felt powerless against it.

  ‘Oh, I decided I’d drop by on the spur of the moment, darling. Hope you don’t mind that I let myself in.’ Her mother’s voice brought Julia back from her thoughts and she glanced a little anxiously around at Riccardo, who was listening to their conversation with his head tilted to one side, for all the world as though he could hear every thought running through her head.

  ‘Perhaps you could take Nicky into the kitchen and get her something to drink, Mum,’ Julia said with another bright smile. ‘I just want to have a quick word with…Mr…um…’

  She waited, tense as a coiled spring, until her mother and Nicola had vanished safely out of sight, then spun around to face him, her cheeks ablaze with colour.

  ‘Look…um…’

  Riccardo watched her in unhelpful silence. Not so much as a word of encouragement passed his lips as she wiped her hand feverishly across her brow.

  ‘I had to tell Mum about…um…this idea of yours that you and I should appear to be…’

  ‘Lovers?’ he supplied, plucking the least helpful expression he could think of and folding his arms.

  ‘Going out!’ Julia corrected through gritted teeth. ‘I had to just in case Nicky mentioned anything.’ She paused and waited for him to fill the ensuing silence, which he didn’t. ‘It’s just a bit of an awkward situation at the moment…um…because Mum’s got it into her head that it’s a splendid idea. In fact, if she seems to behave as though we really are going out instead of just pretending because of the situation, I want you to just ignore her.’

  ‘I’m afraid you’ve lost me.’

  I wish I could, Julia thought desperately. By connecting Riccardo with his daughter she had never envisaged that her own life would be so heavily involved. She was aware of him whenever he was around and had found herself thinking of him whenever he wasn’t. When he came too close to her she had the urge to run.

  ‘In words of one syllable, Mr Fabbrini…’

  ‘Riccardo. Try not to forget.’

  Julia ignored him. ‘Mum might just lay on the encouragement a bit thick, but don’t take any notice of her. She’s just a little worried about me and she’s got it into her head…’

  ‘Worried about you?’

  ‘Worried about me being single and having Nicola under my care,’ Julia snapped. ‘She’s decided that my life would be a lot better if I had a man around to help and for some strange reason she thinks that you…that you…’

  ‘Might fit the bill?’ He raised his dark eyebrows expressively and watched her squirm in embarrassment. It seemed, he thought, that fate was smiling on him.

  ‘Course, she couldn’t be more misguided if she tried,’ Julia was telling him firmly. ‘You’re the last person in the world I would look at twice and I know you feel the same about me.’

  ‘How do you know that?’

  ‘The little brown sparrow?’ She reminded him of his throwaway remark.

  ‘Were you insulted by that?’ he murmured softly and his eyes flicked over her so that she could have kicked herself for mentioning it in the first place. With men like Riccardo Fabbrini, arrogant to the point of distraction, it did not pay to look as though you gave the slightest bit of attention to anything they said.

  ‘I was indifferent to it,’ she lied bravely. ‘I was merely using your expression as an example of how you felt about me and how I feel about you. Anyway, that’s the situation as it stands. And by the way, please don’t go arranging anything with Nicola that includes me without consulting me first.’ She had added that last bit as a means of regaining some kind of control and she saw his mouth tighten, although he gave her a curt nod by way of concession.

  His resolve hardened as he followed her into the kitchen. Ask permission to arrange anything with his own daughter! He felt a kick at the thought of wrapping her around his little finger. In fact, he doubted that he had felt such a kick before in his life. Women had come to him. The idea of active pursuit was intoxicating.

  Nicola and Jeannette were in the kitchen, chatting animatedly about what they had done. Julia realised that she had not seen her niece so excited for a while. Her markers were already out of their pack and the handbag, a silver sparkly thing with a picture of Tigger embroidered on the front, was open, ready to be filled.

  Julia’s breath caught in her throat. When was she going to tell her about Riccardo? When would the time be right? She herself might find him arrogant and egotistic but Nicola didn’t. Nicola enjoyed the attention he lavished on her. She enjoyed the way he listened to what she said without interrupting, as though every childish word that crossed her lips was of immense importance. It wouldn’t be long before he would ask to take his daughter out without the irritating presence of a chaperon, and then he would take her completely. Take her to meet his family in Italy for a holiday, then he would move in for full custody.

  ‘And we might be going to the zoo tomorrow!’ Nicola was announcing, her eyes sliding across to Julia to see whether this comment could be slipped past without contradiction.

  ‘Actually,’ Jeannette said casually, fussing with the markers, ‘I thought you two might like a bit of time of your own. In fact, that was
one reason that I thought to come over. I could stay here and babysit Nicola so that you could both go out somewhere, for a meal perhaps.’ She looked at Riccardo. ‘Julia hasn’t had much of an opportunity to go out recently…’

  Julia felt a rush of humiliation and anger. She could feel the colour invade her face but she pinned the brightest smile to her lips because Nicola was looking at her.

  ‘It’s been a long day, Mum. We’re all tired.’

  ‘Nonsense.’ Riccardo’s voice cut short her litany of excuses and Julia looked at him in veiled surprise. He stepped forward, dominating the kitchen with his sheer size and overwhelming presence. He wasn’t looking at her, though. He was looking at her mother and his mouth was curved into a smile of satisfaction. ‘What a good idea! I know an excellent nightclub. Very good food and a very good band. After a long day shopping I think we could both do with a bit of relaxation, don’t you, Julia?’ He faced her with a smile and Julia wondered whether it was only she who could read the threat behind it. But why on earth would he want to go out with her, when there was no need?

  ‘I—I…’ she stammered desperately.

  ‘It’s not as though you need to get up early in the morning,’ Riccardo continued, pinning her into a corner from which retreat was virtually impossible. ‘Unless, of course, you intend to work on a Sunday…’

  Jeannette watched these proceedings with delight. If she had harboured any doubts about him it was plain to see that she now genuinely liked him. How had he managed to do that?

  ‘Gran and I will have fun here, Aunty Jules,’ Nicola said.

  ‘I’ll go home and change quickly,’ Riccardo said, moving towards her, ‘and I’ll be back to pick you up at seven-thirty.’ He added in a low voice, ‘I hope you’ll be ready when I come.’ He turned to face her, his broad back towards Jeannette and Nicola, blocking them out. ‘And if you’re not I shall come to your bedroom and fetch you, whatever your state of dress, so don’t think about getting a sudden headache.’

  ‘I refuse to be manipulated!’ Julia said feebly, which only served to feed his anger at his own impotent frustration at her hands. Every minute spent in the company of his daughter was making him realise just how much he had missed and the slight brunette in front of him was part of the reason he had missed out. No good her denying it. If she had wanted she could have persuaded her brother to take a stand for what was right, persuaded Caroline to let him know about the pregnancy. Caroline had never been able to sustain an argument. She would have listened to reason, would have listened to someone as outspoken and forceful as Julia. For him to hear her talk about being manipulated almost made him laugh.