Tremble

by Alison Foster

“Listen, Lukas. I really don’t know about my father.”

  “You must have a gut feeling?”

  “Nope,” I say. “He was like a stranger to me.”

  “He never hung around when you were a child?”

  And again we’re on the Lukas question express train. “Yeah. Sometimes. Not really, but there were a few perfect weeks I remember. Storybook weeks. Other times he was just away on business indefinitely.”

  “Must have been tough,” he says.

  “I now know he was a compulsive liar and a thief and God knows what else. The confusing part is I trusted him more than anyone on Earth. That seems like a joke when I say it now.”

  “He was your father,” Lukas says. “Of course you trusted him.”

  “I really did,” I say, watching as the ocean comes into view. “As you might imagine, the whole thing damaged my ability to trust anyone, especially men.”

  My voice breaks as I say those last words. Trust. I’m not the world’s biggest advocate for trust. I’m not sure why the concept is so popular. For me, I’ve chosen to tuck away all such vulnerabilities with those sunny memories of my father deep in a locked chamber in my mind. There are days I can visit those thoughts and let them be wonderful. Other days I let them be hell. The only rule is that it is my own private space.

  “You know what? I’m sorry,” Lukas says, reading my discomfort. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “It is what it is, Lukas. As long as we discuss it just once. I’m fine.”

  His right hand leaves the wheel to caress mine. I stare at his fingers, observing the well-groomed nails and the strong knuckles under the exquisite tan skin. I have no idea how he makes me talk like this or why he would want to hear about my personal baggage.

  I close my eyes again and this time he lets me listen to the sounds of the road and feel the tingling rhythm of locomotion. Relaxation hits me like a drug. My many tensions melt away as I let myself into the seat.

  The smell of the sea hits my nose. I just want to disappear into this California dreamscape, racing along Pacific Coast Highway with the endless sea crashing white caps against the sands of my lost youth.

  Lukas lands his strong hands on my shoulders. My startled soul welcomes the surprise of his warmth. I hold my eyes closed and stretch out my legs. I make a sound, a human purr. So inappropriate.

  “Why aren’t you driving?” I whisper, confused suddenly.

  “I can’t do anything but touch you,” he says. “You’re such a fucking distraction. I ache for you.”

  I barely have time to grasp the reality of what he said when he pulls his shirt up over his head. Oh my, here he is in all his masculine glory—messy brown hair, ripped torso, lean goodly muscles and burning hot lips. The memory of the beautifully imprinted tattoo on his back shocks me with its precision. I’ve never been with a man like him. I want to feel his ink under my fingertips.

  One by one I want to be spoiled by all his secret skills.

  “I ache, too,” I say. Some magic thrills my blood. I can feel it rushing from my limbs to the center of me. And now the sweet ache slips down to my long-neglected pussy. Uh-oh, I can barely keep my hands from touching myself.

  I clench my thighs tight to stop my juices from running down my legs as I feel sweet sensations all over my body. “Just do it already, Lukas,” I whisper. “Take me. Fuck me. Own me.”

  His lips crash into mine and his tongue is everywhere. I moan. This is my heaven. To hell with all my plans. To hell with all caution. I’m a woman. I deserve to be spoiled and cherished and taken by a real man.

  And now I feel the motion slowing. A sudden stop. My eyes flit wide open. The blur of a red light mortifies me. Shit, I’m in the car. I turn my face to the left and there he is, slyly smiling. His strong hands firm on the steering wheel.

  Okay, so I dozed off, that much is clear. The question is, what the fuck did I mutter while I was dreaming? What did I touch? I pull my dress down my thighs as far as I can. (Short dress. Bad idea.)

  The window in front of me is wet. The windshield wipers squeeze themselves against the glass as they travel up and down.

  “It’s raining,” I say in a daze.

  “For a while now,” Lukas says. “Good to have you back.”

  I’m still wildly excited. A summer storm on the way to Santa Barbara will not help my weakening resolve to refuse his advances.

  I rub my eyes slowly. “How much longer?” I say, hoping to put the dream behind me and, perhaps, distract him from whatever he heard or saw.

  “Forty minutes maybe,” he says. “The rain on the sea was incredible but you were so peaceful I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

  Peaceful. Okay, peaceful is good. The dream stayed within my head. I did not act it out in any way, shape or embarrassing form.

  I lay my forehead against the window, trying to clear my mind.

  Raindrops hit the window in rapid succession and I shudder. In the distance, the ocean roars and rolls beneath falling curtains of water.

  “Are you up to this, Mac?” Lukas asks.

  My insides tremble at the tenderness in his deep, resonant voice. What’s the point of denying it anymore? I’m attracted to Lukas. More than I have ever been attracted to anyone. His presence sets my heart and body on fire and it scares the shit out of me.

  I’m sure other women have felt the same sitting next to Lukas Dupree, but to me the feeling is unlike anything I know. What a cliché I’ve become. It’s so obvious being attracted to the hottest man I’ve ever met. So unoriginal.

  But it feels like more. There’s something else about him. Something familiar and yet new. The car is moving again. We race along the savage coast and his skin is the most beautiful thing I can see.

  Chapter 7

  Nora

  THE WEDDING

  By the time we get to East Beach, the rain has cleared. Only a few scattered clouds linger in the blue skies. Right on the sand, rows of white chairs adorned with pink ribbons are covered with clear plastic which explains why none of the guests are sitting yet. A blue tarpaulin tent has been placed over the beautiful wedding arch that’s decorated with white and pink flowers.

  At least fifty guests are on the beach chatting. More guests are either waiting in the reception venue or yet to arrive.

  “Pretty in pink,” Lukas says in a muffled voice. “It’s like we’re in a bubblegum commercial.”

  I pinch his arm lightly but he’s right. Joci always had this thing for pink, hence the rosy wedding fantasy on the beach.

  Aunt Sonya finds us with her arms wide open. She bears such a striking family resemblance to my father sometimes it’s disconcerting. Tall and graceful with brown eyes, full lips and a straight nose. So very McRae.

  “Can you believe this weather, honey?” she says, hugging me. “We get sunshine all month long but on the wedding day? It’s all this fit and fuss.”

  “Looks like it’s passed,” I say, hugging her back. “A little cool but nice.”

  “I worry Joci will shiver through her thin dress,” she says pensively. “And who is this young lad?”

  Lukas is breathtaking in his light suit and shirt—he decided the tie would be too much for a wedding by the sea and he was right.

  “This is my boyfriend, Lukas,” I say, trying to make it sound believable.

  She eyes him from head to toe, bending her face a little. “Well, looks aren’t everything. You better treat my niece like the treasure she is,” Aunt Sonya says, extending her hand to him. “You have a nice smile. That’s a start. Pleasure meeting you, Lukas. Thank you both for making it in the rain.”

  “Lukas, this is my aunt Sonya,” I say, hoping there’s something important she needs to check on real soon.

  “The pleasure is all mine,” Lukas says, holding my aunt’s hand gently in both his strong hands. I would roll my eyes at his theatrics except I have to play my own part.

  “Watch out for his charm, Nora,” my aunt says with gleaming eyes. “It’s qui
te developed. I’ll want to hear the long version of how you met.”

  “It may disappoint you,” I tell her, “but if there’s going to be champagne, I can embellish.”

  “Always so clever,” Aunt Sonya says proudly.

  “But today is Joci’s day,” I add.

  “Oh goodness. She’s a stress ball right now as you can imagine, but she’s so happy, Nora. I just hope you will be that happy one day as well as my Alice and my Mark, of course,” she says, remembering her other two children.

  “If I have anything to do with it, she will be,” Lukas says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

  Too much too soon, Lukas. I specifically remember telling him not to act the part unless absolutely necessary. Of course Lukas Dupree is not one to stay on the sidelines. In fact, he’s a bit of a diva sometimes. I hope he can dial it down a little or today will become an assault on my nerves.

  “I certainly hope you mean that,” Aunt Sonya tells Lukas with a wide smile. She turns to me. “How is your mother?”

  “She’s doing really well with the motel and with Frank. She wishes she could be here,” I say, grateful for the change of subject. My mom and her longtime boyfriend purchased a small motel recently and it’s all they think about or talk about these days.

  “Good for her,” my aunt says. “And your work?”

  “It’s good. I’m where I want to be,” I say.

  “Yes, and little by little they will realize your value and bigger things are ahead for you. I just know it.”

  “You’re good for my ego, Aunt Sonya.”

  “Nonsense,” she says. “You’ve always been a girl with a mission.”

  “Life is good,” I add, hoping to stop the compliments. “Better than it’s been in a long time.” And, as I say it, I realize that’s probably true.

  “It is good to keep busy. And I am sure with Disney and Lukas you must keep quite busy.” She pauses, letting a sudden emotion settle. “Your father would be pleased to see you living your life again. You had to endure so much and that weighed heavily on his conscience.”

  “And he would have been pleased to make one of his grand toasts for his favorite niece, Joci, today,” I say, hoping once and for all to remind my aunt of the wedding that’s about to begin.

  “Oh, heavens,” she says. “There’s so much to do if this whole wedding fiasco it to be put in order. Nice to meet you, Lukas. Please do me a favor and have fun. I’ve heard you’re staying in town tonight. That’s good. There’s an open bar.”

  Aunt Sonya rushes away to attend to urgent matters big and small.

  “Cool aunt,” Lukas states indifferently.

  “The coolest,” I agree.

  Staff begins to remove the plastic covers from the chairs. The guests are slowly ushered to their seats according to the number on their invitation.

  I pull my invitation from my pistachio colored clutch. We take our seats in the second row on the left just behind my cousins, Alice and Mark.

  Alice turns back to blow me a kiss. “Hey, girl. Looking gorgeous,” she says sweetly, but then Lukas steals her attention completely.

  “You look so amazing,” I say. “As always.”

  She does. Alice is a spitfire of a girl who looks good in just about everything. She’s a tall, slim ginger and is positively glowing in her ruby red tulle dress and long teardrop earrings.

  “Lori and Olivia are here, too,” Alice says. “Two rows behind you.”

  I glance back and find our old friends already waving at me. They’re dressed in matching sleeveless peach dresses and have loose buns on their heads. Us four girls all went to high school together.

  There is quite a bit of catching up to do and I feel excited about the evening ahead, but then I catch a glimpse of Carlton. He’s sitting near the back. Jules was right. He’s here like a bad penny.

  It’d probably be smart to warn Lukas of the presence of my ex but as I’m trying to find the right words, the wedding march starts to play.

  Seconds later, Jocelyn appears like a vision. She begins to move along the long, narrow carpet that’s been laid out on the sand in her dreamy white wedding dress like she just walked out of a renaissance painting.

  *

  The ceremony was every girl’s fantasy down to the last detail. Tears welled in the eyes of nearly every woman and a few of the men, too. I’m still a little emotional when Lukas places his hand on the small of my back to lead me to the buffet where a line is forming.

  “Make a plate for me and I’ll go get us some drinks,” he says.

  I consent with a smile as my eyes fill up with the various hors d’oeuvres, snacks and desserts on the buffet. My mouth waters at the sight of the miniature canapés. Without much ado, I grab one that looks like salmon mouse and cucumber on a whole wheat cracker and pop it into my mouth.

  “Someone’s hungry,” I hear Lori’s voice behind me.

  The canapé snack is so small I swallow it almost whole.

  “I’m with you,” Olivia says as she gives me a hug. “Haven’t had a morsel since yesterday.”

  “Oh my God, you guys, it’s been so long,” I say, hugging them both.

  “What a great ceremony, right?” Lori says. “Joci was so breathtaking. Totally want to be her when I grow up.”

  Olivia shakes her head. “Don’t let her hear you say that, she’ll freak out. You know she’s obsessed with age.”

  “She’s only two years older than us,” I remind them.

  “Yeah, but she’s morphed into a youth guru or something.”

  “A silver age yoga instructor,” Lori corrects her. “Joci’s new hobby.”

  “Okay, that’s not really a thing,” I say, amused.

  “Oh, no. It’s really a thing, but never mind all that,” Olivia says. “Alice just whispered something about the hotness you brought with you. We need the deets, like now.”

  “Alice hasn’t changed,” I say, feeling kind of proud to have such a gossip worthy date. Lame, Nora.

  “Well, you have,” Lori says. “That’s not your usual type.”

  “What can I say? My taste in men has been upgraded.”

  “Tell me he’s a kisser,” Olivia says. “Those lips!”

  I half-close my eyes as I purse my lips. “You could always read men, Olivia,” I say with a sigh.

  “I knew it,” Olivia says victoriously.

  “Where did you meet him?” Lori says.

  And so the acting begins. “At Disney. He’s a market research analyst. He came in as an independent contractor a few times.”

  They both look at me, incredulous. “He’s got brains on top of being so fucking hot?” Lori asks.

  “Yeah,” I say. “Annoying, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, Nora. So annoying. Just let us know when you dump him,” Olivia says, mocking my playful words.

  “He’s built like an athlete,” Lori says, lusting.

  “Remember the part where he’s mine?” I say and then pause for effect. “Don’t make me cut you. Lukas Dupree is all mine.”

  “Lukas Dupree. Even the name is dreamy,” Lori adds. “You lucky bitch. You must just stay in bed all day. I would.”

  I choose my words carefully. “If it were up to him.”

  “Does he…” Olivia asks without needing to finish the question.

  “Yes, Lukas rocks my world both in and out of bed.”

  By the time I spot Lukas approaching, it’s too late. He’s practically next to me before I can take my next breath and by the look on his face, he’s heard exactly what I’ve just said. I have no choice but to plaster the sweetest smile I can muster under the circumstances on my face.

  “Am I interrupting?” Lukas says.

  The silence is deafening.

  “Please, continue,” he says with a smug smile. “I love hearing women talk, especially if it’s inappropriate.”

  The girls giggle and I go red all the way to my ears. Surely he knows I need to be convincing, and convincing means intimate details when yo
ur girlfriends ask for them, right? Right?

  “Are you two twins?” Lukas asks my friends as he wraps an arm around me, pulling me closer. “You must be,” my date goes on. “Every man’s fantasy.”

  How I want to smack him right now. Instead, I rest my right hand against his chest.

  “No, we’re not twins,” Lori says, her face all flustered and dazed. “And you shouldn’t confess your fantasies in front of your girlfriend.”

  “She can take it,” Lukas says. “You should hear her fantasies.”

  “Oh, I think we know Nora’s fantasy,” Olivia says. “She wants the animated Tarzan to come to life and settle down with her in the suburbs.”

  “That was one drunk comment when I was thirteen,” I say.

  Lukas laughs. “Okay, I’m in,” he says. “I just need trees in the backyard and a steady flow of bananas.”

  Lori and Olivia are so jealous now they’re speechless.

  “You know what Freud would say about your banana fetish?” I say to Lukas, enjoying our banter so much I ignore my friends.

  Lukas beams. He slides his hand onto my ass. “Sounds like you need me to prove how much I like women to you. Again,” he says.

  I give Lukas an icy stare even though I’m not exactly mad at him.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, remembering my friends. “Nora can be such a flirt.”

  “Nora?” they both say in confused unison. “Our Nora?”

  “Nora,” he says to confirm his assertion.

  An elbow finds his ribs, hard.

  “Ow!” he says with pleading eyes. “And so rough.”

  “Do we need to leave?” Lori quips.

  “No,” I say. “He’s almost completely full of shit. Except the twin fantasy. That’s probably one-hundred percent true.”

  “Are you offering me your friends, sweetheart?” he says.

  One look at Olivia and Lori and I realize they’d totally be down.

  I glare at him. “No one’s going to stop you.” I’m actually mad now and he knows it. This has gone too far and needs to stop.

  “I’m sorry, ladies,” he says. “Nora is the only woman I want. I’m the stodgy old monogamous type.”