Infamous Love

by Lea Coll

  He dipped his head. “Elle.”

  When I stepped in front of him to dry his silky hair with a warm towel, his legs splayed wide and his eyes hooded, it would have been so easy to straddle his lap, kiss him, and run my fingers over the scruff on his chin. I crossed my legs to suppress the throbbing in my core at the memory.

  Piper smirked. “How was your cut?”

  Henry leaned an elbow on the table, shooting a surprised look at Piper. “Wait, you didn’t do it?”

  Piper raised a brow. “Gray asked for Elle.”

  I glanced around the group, noticing Angela was looking at something on Reagan’s phone, neither of them paying attention to our conversation. I waited for Gray’s reaction, wanting to collect nuggets of information, putting them in a jar to take out, unfold, then analyze later.

  Gray’s expression was unreadable, his tone defensive. “I wanted to check her place out.”

  I wanted to ask if the cut lived up to his expectations. At the same time, I didn’t want to bring up that moment because it was something between the two of us. If I had, everyone at the table would know how he affected me.

  “What did you think?” Piper asked.

  Gray braced his elbows on the table, looking at me when he answered, “I’m impressed. It’s inviting, classy, and comfortable.”

  Pride filled me. His gaze caught on mine. Before someone realized there was something there, I blurted out, “He took me to check on a horse.”

  Piper’s gaze darted from me to Gray. “You took Elle to check on one of the horses?”

  “Yeah, Blaze had thrush.” Gray’s shoulders relaxed. Even though he was at ease talking about animals, he might not want to talk about me being at the farm.

  “It’s a beautiful farm. Your mother’s an amazing baker.” Words flowed easier now that we weren’t talking about what happened in the shop.

  “My mom fed you?” Piper asked, bewildered.

  “Rose had just taken a pie out of the oven when we arrived.” I shrugged as if it was no big deal when it was. Eating pie with Gray on the porch swing was sweet. It was a glimpse of him, one I suspected he didn’t reveal to too many people.

  Piper blinked slowly, her mouth opening then closing like she didn’t know what to make of this.

  Henry grabbed a stool from the bar area. “Sorry man, there’s only one.”

  “That’s okay. I can stand,” Gray shifted closer to me to give him room, my neck prickling with awareness.

  Each time someone walked past, Gray moved closer to me to give them space, brushing against my shoulder, pressing against my back. I sucked in a breath, only able to focus on his proximity and the smell of the shampoo I’d used on his hair, reminding me of massaging it into his scalp.

  “I enjoyed the shampoo. I’ve never done that before,” Gray’s words moved strands of my hair. I shivered at his proximity.

  The others were joking about some prank from high school.

  I looked up at Gray, a little surprised he was talking about something so personal, something I hadn’t fully processed yet.

  “The massage was—” his Adam’s apple moved up and down. “Relaxing.”

  “It’s meant to be.” What it wasn’t supposed to be was arousing. I wondered if he’d felt the same way. If he’d imagined me washing his hair in the shower, our bodies naked, my nipples rubbing against his skin.

  He took a long sip of his beer, placing the empty bottle in front of me. He leaned one hand on the table, one on the back of my stool, precariously close to my ass. I wanted to shift closer to him, to feel his touch, but we were surrounded by people even if the moment felt intimate.

  “It was so—”

  My mind filled in the space with the word sensual.

  “Your hands—”

  His struggle to describe the sensations brought me right back to that moment. His eyes met mine. “It was like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”

  I was warm all over from the longing and desire I saw in his eyes. I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t respond. I was afraid I’d agree with him.

  I finally tore my eyes from his to break the moment. “You’ll come back sometime then?”

  When I finally raised my eyes to his, he smirked.

  I got an impression of who he might have been when he was younger. He looked almost impish with that expression and his artfully messy haircut. I wondered if he was a troublemaker in high school.

  “I’ll come back if you’re the one cutting my hair.”

  “That can be arranged.” The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. Heat pooled in my core. Who was this Gray? The one who said what he meant? Was it the alcohol? Was it my touch in the shop?

  I didn’t want him to revert to being gruff. I wanted this Gray. This one had the power to dip below the surface of my skin, bringing my deepest secrets to the surface, getting to the heart of me. This Gray was dangerous.

  He raised one perfect eyebrow as if considering the veracity of my statement.

  The air between us was so thick with tension, it was palpable. I wanted to reach out and touch it. I wanted to bottle it up, opening it in the privacy of my bedroom so I could live out a fantasy with him. There was more to Gray than he showed people: his life before Colorado, his family, his wants, fears, and dreams. He kept everything close to his chest. I wanted in with a fierceness I’d never felt before.

  Letting him make the moves was safer. Because this man and whatever his secrets were―his demons―had the power to eviscerate me. It was like knowing sweets weren’t good for me but wanting them anyway. The more I abstained, the more I craved them, craved him. I knew I’d have to indulge, gorge myself until he was out of my system. But like with any good binge, I’d either feel satisfied I’d taken the journey, or I’d feel emptier than when I’d started.

  “Any news on the clinic?” Henry asked Gray.

  I braced myself for his response, wondering if he’d be as excited to tell his news as he was with me or if he would be more reserved with Henry.

  Gray’s eyes flicked from mine to his. “I told Ed some of my ideas for the clinic.”

  Henry sipped his beer. “What’s that?”

  “I wanted to expand the kennel area to help out local rescues. I want to purchase a van to use as a mobile vet clinic, offering free or discounted exams and vaccines. He liked my ideas.”

  “You think it will make a difference?”

  Gray sighed. “He didn’t say. I hope he sees I’m serious about staying.”

  “I think it would. It shows you’re making a commitment not only to the clinic but to the community and local organizations.” Henry’s tone was serious.

  None of his ideas would necessarily bring in extra money. I wasn’t sure how Ed felt about that. As a woman who wanted some good in her life, I loved it.

  “I hope so. I have everything riding on this. If he doesn’t want to sell to me, I don’t know what I’ll do.” Gray winced when the words left his mouth. Maybe he hadn’t meant to be so honest.

  My heart squeezed at his vulnerability. These moments were the reason I gravitated toward him.

  Henry placed his empty beer bottle on the table. “You could keep doing what you’re doing, start your own clinic.”

  “I don’t think I could stay if Ed doesn’t think I’m capable of running the clinic. It’s the logical next step. It’s what I’ve always wanted. It wouldn’t make sense to have competing vets in the same town. It wouldn’t be right.”

  My stomach turned at the idea of Gray leaving town. I’d only been here a short time, but I’d connected with him.

  “Gray Stanton is a total softie. Who would have thought?” Piper smiled at him before giving me a pointed look.

  Did she know there was something between us? Was it because he’d asked for me to cut his hair, or was my attraction to him that obvious?

  I wondered if opening up about his dreams was new. If so, was I the reason for the change? I liked to think so. I wanted to be the one who could ge
t a reaction out of him, bad or good. I never met a man more in need of a shake-up than him.

  “You’ve come a long way since college,” Henry lowered his voice, speaking only to Gray.

  Gray’s shoulders tensed; his jaw tightened. I quickly averted my eyes when I realized Henry hadn’t meant for me to overhear.

  What was he like in college? How was he different? I could only guess he was even more closed off. Or he rebelled.

  I’d never had that experience because my parents hadn’t instilled any rules or structure in our lives besides a nanny. We were free to make whatever decisions we wanted. Even signing on for the show was more my decision. My parents approved, saying the decision was ultimately mine. In high school, I thought it was cool. My parents should have known putting their child’s life in the spotlight was a bad idea. They were going to make the same mistake with Alice.

  When Piper asked if I wanted to go with her to the bar to get another round, I readily agreed. I needed some space from Gray. Having his body rub against me each time someone walked past kept me on edge.

  Piper ordered another round, then turned to face me, lowering her voice. “What’s going on with you and Gray?”

  “What? Nothing’s going on.” I hoped I sounded sufficiently surprised by her question. I hadn’t realized the tension was obvious to anyone. After years of my relationships playing out in the spotlight, I wanted whatever was brewing to remain between us.

  “The chemistry between you guys is off the charts.”

  I shrugged, ignoring the way my heart beat faster in response to her words, my gaze sliding away from her. “He’s a good-looking guy, but—”

  I wanted to be friends with Piper, sharing information about dates and guys, but I wanted Gray for myself. I didn’t want to dissect what we had. It would lessen its intensity.

  Piper nodded. “I agree. He has too much baggage.”

  I burst out laughing at the image. “It does seem like that. He’s grumpy one minute, correcting my dog parenting skills, then sweet and caring the next, wanting to work with rescues and run a free vaccine, mobile vet clinic. He sounds like the perfect guy, but there’s something else. It’s like he’s a book written in invisible ink. I can ask him a question, but the answer might be the truth or some version of the truth. I’ll never find out what’s on every page.”

  The realization saddened me because I wanted to know Gray. He was a book I wanted to savor, reading slowly, one page at a time.

  She shook her head. “I’ve known him for a while. He is quiet, nice. He never talked about his family. He’d just say it was too far to travel home. I’m not even sure he ever said where home was exactly. I don’t know if he has brothers, sisters, or parents.”

  “If he was an orphan, he’d say that.” A chill ran down my spine. He could easily lie about his past. Was he telling as much of the truth as he was able?

  “Here you go, ladies.” Sebastian handed us the drinks. “It’s busy tonight. I’ll talk to you later.”

  Piper smiled her thanks before turning back to me. “He’s an enigma. I’d be careful with him. If you do go into something with him, go in knowing you won’t ever know the real Gray. He keeps that shit locked up tight.”

  Maybe Piper felt that way because he was her brother’s friend. It was unlikely he’d open up to her. Maybe it would be different when he was dating someone.

  Following Piper back to our table, my mind was reeling with possibilities about his past, the last one worse than the one before.

  When I arrived at the table, Gray took a couple of the bottles from my hands, smiling down at me. It seemed like he was happy to see me.

  My heart tripped before picking up the pace.

  At Rigby’s Ranch, he’d talked about his childhood, his mother. Was that information he told everyone or was I different? Was Piper wrong about him? Maybe he hadn’t met the right person yet, the one who made him feel like he could trust them with his secrets.

  “You were gone a long time.”

  I tipped my head toward the bar. “It’s really busy. We were talking.”

  “What about?” He leaned down to speak into my ear, his voice low and seductive. Or maybe I was imagining it.

  Should I tell him the truth, or should I play it off? Did I want to get to him, or did I want to pretend that everything was fine? If I wanted to know Gray, I’d have to take a chance. “You.”

  He scoffed, straightening. “Why would you be talking about me?”

  Would I be revealing every single thought in my head by telling him the truth? “Piper said no one really knows who you are, even Henry.”

  His lips straightened into a thin line; a muscle twitched in his jaw. “I don’t like talking about my past.”

  I stilled, my heart pounding in my ears, worried I was taking this too far. “Why not?”

  “It’s not something I’m proud of. When I moved to college, I wanted to start over, make a new life for myself.” His jaw was tight, his tone deceptively smooth, as if his words were the litany he said whenever anyone asked about his past.

  “Were you a troublemaker in high school?” I teased in an effort to lighten the mood.

  “No.” His expression was cold.

  My skin turned cold. I had pushed him too far. “I didn’t really think that. I was teasing.”

  He didn’t respond as the muscle continued to twitch in his jaw.

  “I’m sorry, Gray. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” I reached out my hand touching his forearm, his skin warm under my fingers. His muscles tensed. “I hope you know you can trust me. I won’t betray you.”

  Something flashed in his eyes before he carefully masked it. It made me think he’d been betrayed by someone important to him. It had rocked his world, sent him on this course where he didn’t take risks. In reality, he was careening out of control if one question could tilt him this far off balance.

  I looked away from him, trying to focus on the conversation around us. It was a bad idea to be attracted to someone so closed off. Something about what he was going through, what he wanted to accomplish, made my heart ache for him. On some level, he thought he was a bad guy, maybe even undeserving of love. In that way, we were exactly alike.

  Chapter 10

  Elle

  * * *

  Jolting awake, I sat up in bed. My heart still racing, my breath came in quick pants; I closed my eyes. I slept fitfully last night. My mind was full of thoughts of Gray―his proximity, his voice, his scent. It was torture. My brain knew he was a bad idea, my body didn’t. I didn’t want a man who’d be resistant to opening up. I wanted a guy who knew exactly what he wanted and went after it.

  When Gray talked about ways to get Ed to sell him the clinic, needing ties to the community, I hadn’t thought it applied to me, but it did. It wouldn’t hurt for me to do the same, to prove to the community that I planned on sticking around. This wasn’t a whim I would abandon in a couple of months to head back to Los Angeles.

  Gray warned me that first day that the locals could suss out someone who wasn’t genuine. I needed to prove I belonged. The only question was, how did I do it? Should I partner with a local organization? If so, which one? I could hang a bulletin board on the wall, encouraging businesses to advertise their wares. Before I opened, I’d called the local fire and police departments asking for patches to hang on the wall. Maybe I should go one step further, offering discounts as a gesture of goodwill.

  I flew through my morning routine, showering, then walking Crew around town. I’d never tire of the ever-present view of the mountains. Mornings were quiet in town with people getting ready for work. I stopped at the window of the vintage trailer that was The Coffee Cowboy, grabbing coffees and pastries for us. I dropped Crew off in my apartment before heading downstairs to open the shop.

  Piper was already there, getting her station ready. She must have walked in when I was putting Crew upstairs.

  “Morning. I have coffee.” I wanted to be friends with Piper. I wanted
Telluride to be my home, to make the shop a success, to see Gray again. The last thought had my heart beating faster in surprise. Gray was front and center in my head. I glanced around the shop, my gaze pausing on the chair he’d sat in last night when I washed his hair. The familiar desire coiling in my belly.

  Piper headed straight to me, not responding until she’d taken a large sip of the coffee I had offered her. “Thank you.”

  I smiled. “You’re welcome.”

  “You brought food too?” Her tone was hopeful.

  I offered her the bag of pastries. She sat in her chair, pulling out a muffin before taking a bite. She chewed thoughtfully for a few seconds, considering me.

  I bounced on my toes, vibrating with energy. I’d been so wrapped up in Gray, I’d forgotten about myself.

  “Why are you so chipper this morning after being out last night? Did something happen?” Her words were tinged with disbelief.

  I gave her a disbelieving look. We’d parted outside the bar last night, all going our separate ways.

  “Not exactly. I had an idea, an epiphany of sorts.” The caffeine was flowing through my veins making me jittery.

  She arched her brow. “Oh, yeah?”

  I glanced at the clock. We had ten minutes before our first appointment. “Gray was saying how he needed to prove to Ed he was here to stay. I do too. I need to make ties to the community; prove I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Okay. How are you going to do that?” Piper drew out her words.

  “First, I’m going to make a flyer saying we’re offering discounts to first responders and veterans, then hang them around town.”

  “I like that idea.”

  I sank into the chair across from her, realizing my ideas were kind of low-key. “My other brilliant idea, that doesn’t sound so exciting in the light of day, is hanging a bulletin board for other businesses to advertise community events. That’s all I have. It’s something but not enough.”