Infamous Love

by Lea Coll

  She encouraged me to be the person I was underneath, the one I’d been hiding all this time. She helped me be the person I was meant to be.

  Chapter 18

  Elle

  * * *

  Finishing up with my client, I cleaned my tools and swept up the hair clippings. I’d been floating since last night. Each moment with him made me fall deeper and harder.

  Alice emailed me a new contract for the proposed barbershop spin-off show. Emily upped the ante, offering more money than before. My past had been elevated to a ticking time bomb status. I had no plan for how or when to talk to Gray. Fear of rejection, of ruining the best thing that had ever happened to me kept me frozen. I wanted to enjoy what I had with him, not ruin it with the truth. I emailed Alice back telling her there was no amount of money I’d take to be on TV again.

  In the afternoon, Emily called.

  Adrenaline kicked in as I remembered how persuasive Emily could be. Back then, I was under contract. I had to do what she said. I was no longer that young girl who couldn’t stand up for herself.

  I went to my office for privacy, debating whether to ignore her call. I knew she would keep calling. She wouldn’t let up. She might even come here. Then what would I do? The thought of her invading what had become my safe place left me feeling weak.

  I wanted her to understand nothing she could offer would entice me to come back.

  “Hello.” I gripped the phone tightly.

  “Giselle! Hi, how are you?” Her voice was infused with enthusiasm and warmth.

  I cringed at the use of my given name. Her tone was something I’d gravitated toward as a lonely child. Now I saw it for what it was, an attempt to manipulate me.

  “Emily. What can I do for you?” I purposely kept my tone professional. I didn’t want her to act like we were friends because we weren’t.

  “Alice said she sent over the contract.” Her tone was incredulous. She probably wasn’t used to chasing people down after sending them contracts.

  Anger boiled that she’d use my sister to get me back. Emily knew how protective I was of her. “She did.”

  “This is an amazing opportunity. It could really solidify your career as an actress and a hairstylist.” Emily was in full producer mode, spinning how amazing the opportunity was for me when in reality, she was just trying to keep her job.

  Frustration with the situation bubbled over. “I don’t want to solidify my career as an actress. You and I both know no one considers reality stars actresses.”

  Emily laughed lightly. “There are plenty of stories of reality stars who’ve gone on to be successful. A few have had amazing acting careers.”

  She was right. It was possible, but the ones who went on to be actors didn’t keep doing reality shows. They quickly cut ties with the original show, only taking serious acting offers. “It’s irrelevant because I don’t want to be an actress.”

  I’d always been afraid to tell Emily the truth. I didn’t want that world. When I was in it, it was all any of us were supposed to want. Now, I wasn’t sure if that was ever true or if you just got caught up in it with no way to escape.

  “What about your barbershop idea? You can’t buy exposure like we want to give you.” Her tone was incredulous.

  “I don’t want that kind of exposure anymore. My shop is doing great.” Panic filled me that she would show up here with cameras in tow. It wouldn’t be positive exposure. It would look like I craved attention, that I wanted Telluride to be on a cheap reality show. It wouldn’t endear me to the locals. I couldn’t even imagine how Gray would take it.

  Emily paused for a few seconds. “Alice said you’re in Telluride? That’s hardly LA.”

  “I don’t want to waste your time. I’m not moving back to LA; there’s no chance I’m signing another reality show contract. I’m done.”

  “It’s so hard to get there, too.” Her voice trailed off. I hoped she wasn’t thinking of a plan to travel here, or a way to convince me to change my mind.

  Telluride was difficult to get to. That fact solidified the cozy, protective feeling I got coming here. She was about to invade my space, destroying everything I’d built. I couldn’t let her do that.

  “After everything we’ve been through?”

  Anger surged through me, hot and thick like lava boiling out of a volcano, melting everything in its path, changing the terrain permanently. “We haven’t been through anything. I was practically raised by the producers on that show. It wasn’t a good experience. It ruined my reputation.”

  She scoffed. “We made you famous.”

  “Infamous. People think I’m that person on the show, a bitch with no morals,” I said without missing a beat, letting the truth fall out of me, making me feel stronger.

  “Who cares what people think if you’re making tons of money and people want to be you?”

  I could almost see Emily rolling her eyes, waving a hand at me as she had in person when we’d had difficult conversations.

  “No one wants to be me. They are fascinated by the hurtful things I did. You may have been able to manipulate me when I was younger, but not anymore. I’m not your puppet. You can’t pull my strings, dangling money and fame in front of me. It won’t work.” I wanted to tell her to stay away from Alice too, but she was an adult. She had to make her own decisions, living with them like I had.

  “You’re making a huge mistake.” Emily’s voice was hard. She rarely moved from persuasion to anger. It usually wasn’t necessary.

  “That’s what you think. I think it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m finally happy with who I am.” My tone lightened. I was finally doing what I wanted. I’d never go back.

  “I’ll give you a few days to reconsider.” Her words rang in my ears.

  “I’m not going to change my mind. Bye, Emily.” I hung up. Worry that she wasn’t done with me, that she’d show up here, settled like a knot in my stomach, squeezing tighter and tighter. Was it too much to hope I’d never hear from her again? That I could start over here?

  With Emily contacting me, I needed to talk to Gray sooner rather than later.

  That part of my life felt so long ago like it happened to another person. I couldn’t imagine meshing that part of myself with who I was now. I knew as soon as I told him about it, that part of my life would become part of me again. I wouldn’t be Elle; I’d go back to being Giselle.

  I’d seen the comments when the show was canceled. There was speculation that we’d never find a job acting. We’d live off our parents’ money, become addicts, get arrested, have a mental breakdown. People wanted us to fail. When I was Giselle, I felt like I was doomed to screw up, to live up to their low expectations.

  Initially, there was speculation about what I was doing, why I hadn’t signed on to do another show. For the most part, it had died down. It was easier to fade into the background with the show off the air. That’s where I wanted to stay. I didn’t want to acknowledge that part of my life. I wanted to pretend like it never happened.

  The more time I spent with Gray, the more I worried he wouldn’t accept that I’d played a role or the fact that part of my life was over. I wanted him to support me the same way I did him, but our situations were different. He was innocent, swept up in the drama of his dad’s mistakes. I’d made a decision to be on a show, playing a villain, doing it for years. I needed to tell Gray and face the consequences because each day, I was falling in deeper with him. The problem was, I had no plan for how to do that.

  Friday evening was my daddy-daughter event. I decorated the shop for the event, adding streamers and balloons, covering some of the boys only and caveman signs with colorful fabric. I felt jittery with nerves, more amped up than opening day.

  “Relax, it’s going to be great,” Piper said as I checked again to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything.

  Snacks from Baked in Telluride were arranged on a table in the back. The bags we’d prepared for the girls were lined up on a table by the door. Each bag had
Smoke & Mirrors printed on it, the handles tied together with a pink ribbon. Inside the bags were instructions for the styles we were teaching, various hair ties, bobby pins, barrettes, ribbons, a hairbrush, and a hand mirror. I’d gone a little overboard, wanting the night to be a success, hoping the dads would come again or tell their friends.

  I smoothed my hands over my black pants. “I hope so.”

  When the families started arriving, the dads looked nervous while the girls were excited. I relaxed when I saw the girls’ enthusiasm, asking each child how she liked her hair styled. I planned to show the dads a few braids and twists. I wanted each girl to go home with something custom, whether it was a special barrette or ribbon in her hair.

  I got each family settled in a chair, going over a style with the group, then making my way around the room to assist. Even though Piper was here with me, it wasn’t enough. We needed more staff in the future. The guys needed a lot of assistance. Once they got the first style done, we started on the next one. By the end, each child’s hair had a braid, a twist, or a bun.

  The success of the evening gave me more energy.

  We gave them time to eat some of the food and ask questions. The tension from the stress of the evening was just leaving my shoulders when one of the little girls ran up to me, her dark hair wrapped in tightly woven braids. “Miss Ellie?”

  I crouched down on her level, my lips tipping up in a smile. “It’s Elle.”

  “Miss Elle, thank you so much for helping my dad.”

  It was a simple thing, yet I was overcome with emotion. “You’re welcome, sweetie.”

  “I can have braids like all the other girls at school do.”

  I squeezed her hand.

  Her dad stood behind her, holding a younger girl who’d wanted her hair twisted into curls. “I’m a single dad, so it’s difficult. I’m so grateful you offered this. It’s been a fun evening for the girls. Hopefully, I can replicate it.”

  “If you have trouble, come on in. We can help you.” The idea of this dad wanting to be able to style his daughters’ hair was so endearing.

  “Thank you so much.” He gave me another grateful smile before taking the older girl’s hand to walk out.

  I talked to each dad as they left. Each one was grateful and hopeful they could competently take care of their daughter’s hair. One said he was happy to be able to do a simple bun for ballet classes. One said he hoped to impress his wife. It was more than I could have hoped for when I initially planned the event.

  When Piper closed the door after the last family left, I pressed a hand to my chest. “That was—so much more than I was expecting.”

  Piper nodded, smiling. “It was fun. Meeting single dads wasn’t a hardship.”

  “Hey, no hitting on the clientele.”

  “There’s something about a man taking care of his children. So hot.” Piper bustled about cleaning up the trash.

  I had to agree. “I think I underestimated how much dads want to help their daughters.”

  “It was fun. We should do it again. We can probably expect some new dads to come, maybe some follow-ups to perfect their technique or learn new things. Even the girls loved being pampered.”

  “Maybe we could offer birthday parties.” I was brimming with ideas lately.

  “Look at you, already planning our next event.”

  It felt good, too. It wasn’t free vaccines like Gray was providing. Even so, I finally felt like I was doing something good with my life.

  We cleaned up, taking down the decorations so the shop was back to being a boys-only man cave for the next day. All the pink, glitter, and hair ties were removed. It was an amazing event, but my bread and butter were men. They didn’t want to be covered in glitter when they sat down.

  “I’m going to get going. I’ll be working late tomorrow.” Piper gathered her things.

  I smiled. “Thank you so much for helping tonight.”

  “It’s my job.”

  “It’s more than a job. I hope you consider me a friend.” I hugged her, a little surprised by my own overt display of affection.

  “Of course, I do.” Her tone was slightly admonishing.

  She had no idea friends in my past were untrustworthy.

  The bell tinkled above the door.

  “Is it over?” Gray held a bouquet, looking around as if he expected a child to pop out.

  “All done. You should be proud of Elle. She was amazing tonight.” Piper touched his arm before sidling past him to leave.

  Gray’s gaze stayed on me.

  “Are those for me?” I walked up to him, warmth blooming in my chest.

  He held the flowers out to me.

  I took them, burying my face in the blooms. “They smell amazing.”

  “You’re amazing.” His eyes were filled with pride.

  He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. No one had ever given me flowers before.

  “It went well?”

  “It went better than expected. The girls loved it, and the men were happy to learn something so they could help their daughters.”

  He kissed me then let me go while I locked up, turning off the lights so we could head upstairs.

  “I told you, you were worried for nothing.”

  I unlocked the door to the apartment, stepping inside. “I’ve never tried to do something like this. I had no idea what to expect. I have a few other things I want to talk about with the person in charge of town events.”

  “Like what?” he asked, grabbing waters out of the fridge for us.

  I grabbed a decorative vase from under the sink, filling it with water for the flowers. “I know the town does trick-or-treating at the shops, but I was thinking about a stroll around town for customers to sample hot cocoa and cookies while browsing the wares from each store. The shop owners could hand out food and drink for free or samples of their products. Maybe around the holidays?”

  I’d been thinking about handing out goodie bags with fliers for upcoming tutorials like the one I had tonight as well as coupons for free and discounted haircuts.

  “I think that would be something people would come to,” Gray said thoughtfully.

  “I hope so.” I arranged the blooms in the vase, wondering if I should talk to him now about my past or enjoy tonight’s success.

  He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him. “I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thank you.” I enjoyed his praise but holding my past from him kept me from enjoying it completely.

  He lifted my chin with his finger, kissing me sweetly.

  I had to tell him.

  Gray pulled back slightly, his finger still pressed lightly under my chin. “What do you say we celebrate in the bedroom?”

  I wouldn’t ruin this moment by bringing up the past. “I’d love to.”

  His eyes heated. He picked me up and carried me across the threshold like I was his bride. When we reached my room, he placed my feet lightly on the ground, his arm wrapped around my waist, holding me pressed against him. He stared into my eyes for a few seconds, something I was afraid to acknowledge brimming in them; then he kissed me like it was the first time, as if he were asking permission for more.

  I wanted to give him everything he ever wanted. My fingers tangled in the hair on his neck as we kissed, enjoying the moment. There was no need to rush. We had all night.

  We lingered over removing each other’s clothes, kissing the spots we unveiled, savoring each other’s touch. It was like we were saying we appreciated each other, loved one another, even if no words were exchanged.

  I slowly sank to my knees, looking up at him.

  His hand rested in my hair, a question in his eyes.

  He was telling me I didn’t have to, even though I wanted to. I wanted to give him everything. I wanted to show him what he meant to me.

  I gripped the base of his cock, pumping him once, twice, while I watched his eyelids flutter, his head tilting back in ecstasy when I sucked him into my mouth. A
heady feeling of power I’d never gotten while doing this before, flowed through me. A blow job was expected with the other guys I’d been with. This was a gift I was giving him.

  I increased the pressure, my rhythm, the suction of my mouth until he finally groaned in frustration, hauling me up to sit on the edge of the bed. I wanted to make him feel good. At the same time, I wanted him inside me.

  “Lay back.”

  I spread my legs, my knees falling open, the cool air on my pussy.

  He knelt between my hips, blowing on my clit, my legs trembling with desire. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  The truth of his words was evident in his tone. “Thank you.”

  “I’m going to drive you crazy. The same way you did to me.” His voice was a low growl, determined.

  “I look forward to it.” I grabbed onto the comforter, bracing myself.

  He squeezed my ass, bringing me to his mouth. He knew what I liked. He quickly built me up, driving me to the brink, pulling away before I went over.

  When he lifted his head, I scrambled up the bed, eager for him.

  “Knees,” he said.

  I slowly turned to my hands and knees, feeling a little vulnerable not being able to see his face, my ass in the air. That night in the kitchen didn’t seem quite as intimate when we were playing the role of Clark Kent and Lois Lane.

  He pressed lightly on my upper back as if he wanted me to drop down to my forearms. I resisted the pressure until he draped himself over my back, making me not feel so alone or distant from him. He kissed my shoulder, whispering in my ear. “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes.” Tenderness washed over me.

  “If you drop down to your forearms, it will feel even better.” His tone was rough as if he were holding himself back. His need for me had me slowly lowering myself.

  “Okay.” I felt more open to him than I’d ever been.

  He sat up on his knees. His fingers parted my folds, stroking me before slipping inside, quickly bringing me back to that edge he’d left me on earlier. When I was riding his fingers with wanton abandon, he removed his fingers, replacing them with his cock. I whimpered at the sensation of him filling me up, his fingers gripping my hips. He was deeper than any other position, his balls slapping against my ass with each thrust. Each thrust touched a spot inside of me, an intense burning building to something huge. I didn’t want to stop. I could feel something building inside, threatening to explode, to burst my preconceived notions of what things could be like with Gray.