Shadow Sister

by Simone Vlugt

  He listens to what Sylvie has to say. I stand closer to him and he stoops so that I can hear too.

  ‘It’s so lovely here. Have you ever been up the top of the Euromast? Valerie thinks it’s fantastic too. What a view. No, Valerie, don’t climb on anything. Come here will you!’ We hear footsteps, the howl of a strong wind and Valerie’s small, excited voice. Then Sylvie’s back. ‘Children,’ she laughs. ‘Climbing up everything, absolutely no sense of danger.’

  Raoul gestures for me to follow him and begins running for the exit.

  ‘Sylvie.’ He’s outwardly calm. ‘I want you to take Valerie down to the bottom now and wait for me by the entrance.’

  ‘Sure, that’s fine,’ Sylvie says. ‘Valerie! Are you coming? Daddy’s coming to pick us up. What? You want to have another go at looking down? Well, all right then. I’ll hold onto you.’

  ‘Sylvie!’ Raoul roars.

  ‘Just a minute, Raoul. Valerie wants to look over the top again. You’ve got a tough daughter, you know, no fear of heights at all! Listen, I’m going to hang up, I’ve got to hold onto her.’

  ‘Take her downstairs now! What the hell do you think you’re doing? I…’ Raoul looks as if he wants to smash the phone.

  I hurry after him. ‘She’s not really letting Valerie hang over the edge, is she?’

  ‘God knows,’ Raoul pants. ‘That woman is totally disturbed, but if she does anything to my daughter, I’ll kill her.’

  The exit to the zoo looms and we’re soon in the car. Raoul’s tearing along the street before I’ve even got my door closed.

  Fear shrouds us all the way to the Euromast. We race along the Gravendijkwal and I stare out of the window, waiting to see the 185-metre-high tower. In the meantime, I apprise Noorda of the situation. The Euromast comes into view. I look up at the viewing platform, tense with fear, but it’s too far away for me to be able to make anything out.

  ‘It’s all my fault,’ Raoul drives through a red light. ‘If I’d never got involved with that woman, Lydia would still be alive and Valerie wouldn’t be in danger. How could I have been such a fool!’

  I don’t say anything.

  We drive on in silence and the Euromast gets closer. I can’t see any commotion in the vicinity of the tower to suggest something dreadful has happened.

  ‘She wouldn’t do anything to a small child, surely. Valerie isn’t outside anywhere.’

  Raoul doesn’t respond and I know what he’s thinking. Anyone who shoots another woman in cold blood in order to steal her husband probably wouldn’t have many scruples about a child.

  Raoul parks illegally and jumps out of the car. He slams the door without taking the keys from the ignition.

  I run after Raoul, risking my life across the busy road, and see him disappear through the entrance. Sylvie is nowhere to be seen and neither is Valerie.

  I run inside.

  There’s Raoul, on his knees in the middle of the lobby, his arms around his daughter. He can’t stop kissing her on both cheeks. There’s no sign of Sylvie.

  We head straight back to Raoul’s, calling the school and the police to say we’ve got Valerie on the way. Afterwards Valerie’s small voice breaks the silence. ‘I was high up, wasn’t I, Daddy? I spat down.’

  ‘Was Sylvie holding onto you tight, darling?’

  ‘Yes, very. She had her arms hard around me. It hurt,’ Valerie says, before quickly adding, ‘But she wasn’t doing it deliberately. Sylvie is nice, isn’t she?’

  Raoul doesn’t answer.

  I can’t speak. I lean against the passenger door, my face against the window, and weep soundlessly. Raoul glances over and rests his hand on top of mine. Although I usually prefer the person driving to keep their hands on the wheel, I don’t protest. The warmth of Raoul’s hand seems to spread through the rest of my body and chases away my fear.

  ‘Where are we going? Do I have to go back to school?’ Valerie asks.

  ‘No,’ Raoul says. ‘You can stay at home and I don’t have to go to the office. We’ll take a day off, what do you think about that?’

  ‘Good,’ Valerie says and gazes out of the window. ‘Are you having a day off too, Elisa?’

  I open my eyes and massage my forehead. ‘Yes,’ I answer. ‘I was due one.’

  ‘Yay!’ Valerie cheers. ‘Can I watch a DVD then? With a bowl of crisps?’

  ‘Sure,’ Raoul says.

  In the house, Valerie’s rapid steps and happy voice fill the sitting room. She pulls open drawers, looking for her felt tips, while Raoul rummages around in the kitchen.

  ‘Hungry?’ he asks me. ‘I could fry some eggs.’

  ‘Lovely.’ I lean on the bench and look through the open kitchen doors into the dining room where Valerie has settled at the table with a colouring pad. ‘I hope I never have to go through anything like that again.’

  ‘So you were worried she’d do something to Valerie,’ Raoul remarks as he lights the gas.

  ‘I couldn’t imagine it, but if she’s capable of murdering someone in cold blood…’

  Raoul nods and puts a frying pan on the stove. He squirts a dash of liquid margarine from a bottle into it, breaks three eggs into the pan and begins to grate some cheese.

  ‘What will they do when they find Sylvie?’ I ask as I watch.

  ‘Hang her from the highest tree,’ Raoul says grimly. ‘Or they’ll let her off because of lack of evidence, everything will depend on that, knowing our legal system. And I’ll spend the rest of my life worrying about Valerie, and about you.’

  He goes to carry his plate into the dining room but I grab his arm. ‘What do you mean? You don’t think it’s going to stop at this?’

  ‘No, I’m rather afraid it won’t.’

  Lydia

  58.

  Elisa’s at my door right on time. To my surprise she’s come in a car, but before I can ask her where she got it from, I see Thomas sitting at the wheel. And if that’s not enough, Sylvie’s in the back seat.

  ‘Are they coming too?’ I ask, disappointed.

  Elisa nods. I wish she would stop trying to force her friends on me. I nearly back out and go inside again, but then I get a better look at Sylvie.

  I greet Thomas and climb in next to Sylvie. She’s wearing a short red, retro-style dress and a scarf knotted around her bleached hair. Her face is carefully made up and she looks breathtakingly beautiful.

  ‘Hi Sylvie, how lovely you’re coming with us,’ I say. ‘Where are we going?’

  ‘Oliva,’ she says. ‘Do you know it?’

  I’ve never heard of it, but I nod. Elisa sits next to Thomas, relieved. He drives off.

  I glance at Sylvie and smile. ‘You look nice, Sylvie. Is that in now, a scarf around your hair?’

  Sylvie looks as if she’s checking for veiled sarcasm in my question, but I give her such a friendly smile that she relaxes.

  ‘Oh, I’m not that into fashion,’ she confides in me. ‘I just think it looks nice, so I wear it.’

  ‘A friend of mine spotted someone wearing a scarf around their head on Saturday. Where was it again? Oh yes, in the Euromast restaurant. That’s why I thought it might be a new trend.’

  Sylvie looks a bit shifty, but doesn’t say anything.

  ‘Nice dress too,’ I continue. ‘Bit tight though. Wasn’t it difficult to get into the car?’

  Elisa gives me a warning look over her shoulder.

  ‘It’s not that bad,’ Sylvie says curtly. ‘I often wear tight skirts and dresses, so I know how to move in them.’

  ‘I can believe that,’ I say, getting a mental image of Sylvie shimmying in front of Raoul.

  Why am I going with them? These are Elisa’s friends, not mine. If I’d known they’d be coming, I would have happily stayed at home. I get out my mobile and begin to type a text message. Hey Luke! Going to eat at Oliva. Want to join?

  His reply comes back straight away. Was about to get takeaway. See you there!

  After that I put my phone away and announce that Luke
is coming too.

  ‘Great,’ Elisa says. ‘Does he know where it is?’

  ‘I think so. Luke knows all the restaurants in Rotterdam.’

  ‘Who’s Luke?’ Sylvie asks.

  ‘One of my colleagues,’ I say. ‘And a good friend.’

  ‘A very good friend,’ Elisa adds. ‘You’re always talking about him. Luke said this, Luke did that.’

  ‘Really?’ Sylvie’s expression suggests she thinks I’m having an affair. Of course I could explain that Luke’s gay, but what’s the point. It’s the same as telling Luke that Sylvie is straight.

  ‘So Raoul will be getting home late tonight?’ Elisa glances at me.

  I nod. ‘As usual.’

  ‘He must be busy, being the director of such a big company,’ Thomas comments.

  ‘It’s not that big,’ I say. ‘But he’s busy, it’s true. I don’t think Software International is doing too well. They need a few new customers.’

  ‘Perhaps they should annihilate it,’ Sylvie suggests.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Annihilate,’ Sylvie repeats. ‘That happened to the nail studio where I worked a while back. It wasn’t going well so the whole company had to be annihilated.’

  ‘You’re kidding?’ I ask, but Sylvie nods with conviction.

  ‘Really,’ she says.

  ‘The whole company?’ I ask, appalled.

  Sylvie nods, a little less sure of herself.

  ‘My god,’ I quaver.

  I look in the wing mirror and see a smile on Thomas’s lips. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen him laugh before.

  Elisa quickly changes the subject and Sylvie ignores me for the rest of the ride.

  Oliva turns out to be a nice place. It’s a breath of fresh air to eat Italian without having plastic bunches of grapes hanging above your head, or being ringed in by basketed chiantis. This restaurant has a young, modern atmosphere, an extensive drinks list, mellow lighting and tables made out of wood and dark-green metal. The wall paintings and large blackboards displaying the menu make the space particularly attractive.

  When our aperitifs are on the table, together with dishes of olives and baskets of bread with basil oil, Luke arrives.

  ‘Hi everyone!’ he says. ‘I’m Luke, a colleague of Lydia’s.’

  He shakes hands and is told several times how nice it is he’s here. He squeezes in next to me and winks. ‘All right?’

  I smile. ‘Glad you could join us.’

  Sylvie is on Luke’s other side and studies him with great interest. ‘So you work with Lydia,’ she says with her most attractive smile. ‘That must mean you’re a teacher as well.’

  Of course Luke can’t do anything but confirm this and I listen to the conversation that ensues. I had no idea that Sylvie admired teachers so much, and particularly teachers in multi-denominational state schools.

  ‘It seems like such rewarding work,’ she says, with a slight shake of the head, as if she can’t imagine how altruistic you have to be to become a teacher. ‘It must be lovely to be able to give so much to people.’

  ‘It would be nice, if only they wanted to listen,’ Luke confesses.

  ‘But they do, don’t they? I can’t imagine that you wouldn’t have authority in the classroom,’ Sylvie fawns, with an admiring glance at Luke’s muscular arms.

  Luke throws me a pleading look, but I have no time to help him before my mobile rings. It’s Raoul. I tell him where I am and that Valerie is staying over at Jasmine’s.

  I put my mobile back in my bag, ‘Raoul’s coming too.’

  ‘Oh, lovely,’ Elisa says.

  Thomas gives her a sideways look. As usual he’s withdrawn to the point of rudeness, but Elisa doesn’t seem to notice. She chats to Luke and Sylvie. I’ve got Thomas on my other side, and I study him disapprovingly. Look at him slouching there, his elbows on the table. How can he think he’s ever going to attract my sister if he sits there like a sack of hay, with most of his face hidden behind his long hair.

  ‘Why are you staring at me?’ Thomas asks.

  ‘No reason.’ I pick up my wine glass. I can hardly admit that he reminds me of my neighbour’s dog – an animal with long wispy hair. What are they called again? Afghan hounds, or something like that.

  Sylvie is getting up and going to the bathroom.

  ‘I’ll come with you.’ I push my chair back and follow her into the ladies toilets. Sylvie stands in front of the mirror to fix her headscarf. I disappear into a cubicle.

  When I’ve finished, Sylvie is still there, holding an eyeliner. I wash my hands and see she’s looking at me.

  ‘Nice guy, that colleague of yours,’ she says.

  ‘Luke? Yes, he’s definitely a nice guy.’ I rinse the soap from my hands.

  Sylvie skilfully applies eyeliner. ‘Is he married?’ she asks casually.

  ‘No.’

  ‘So he’s got a girlfriend?’

  I dry my hands and lean against the sink. This is interesting. There’s just one man in our group who Sylvie hasn’t yet tested her skills of seduction on and, of course, she’s pouncing on him.

  ‘He hasn’t got a girlfriend. I’ve never heard him mention any women.’

  Sylvie’s eyes light up and I have difficulty restraining a laugh.

  ‘I’ve never seen Luke pay so much attention to a woman before.’

  Sylvie smiles. ‘I thought we had some chemistry.’

  ‘I thought you liked Thomas,’ I say lightly.

  Sylvie pulls a face. ‘Thomas has only got eyes for Elisa.’

  ‘Maybe you should make him a bit jealous,’ I suggest. ‘That can work wonders.’

  Sylvie studies her appearance in the mirror. Her beautiful appearance. I don’t know why Thomas didn’t fall head over heels long ago.

  We join the others back at the table.

  59.

  We’re well into dinner when Raoul hurries into the restaurant. His eyes glide over our group, then he bends down and kisses me. ‘Hi darling.’

  ‘Hi.’ I return his kiss. ‘You’re actually quite early tonight!’

  ‘The system went down and there wasn’t anything else to do.’ Raoul sits in the one remaining chair, to Elisa’s right. He smiles at her for a moment before his eyes move on to the others. I watch him closely out of the corner of my eye. I see Sylvie’s smile, Raoul’s tense jaw. I register that his gaze rests a little longer on Sylvie’s bare shoulders and the curve of her breasts under the tight red dress.

  ‘Bon appétit! I’ll order quickly and see if I can catch up with you. It won’t be that difficult – I could eat a horse!’ Raoul beckons to the waitress. She comes at once and stands over him with the expression of delight I’ve seen on so many women.

  ‘Would you care to look at the menu, sir?’ she asks with the sweetest smile.

  ‘I’ll just have the same as her,’ Raoul says, nodding at Elisa’s plate.

  ‘Grilled tuna with roasted onions and balsamic vinegar,’ Elisa says. ‘Do you like that?’

  ‘If you like it, I’m sure I will too.’

  I sit at the furthest corner away, opposite them, and study them for a while before Luke kicks me under the table. To my astonishment, Sylvie has taken his hand and is admiring his fingers.

  ‘I’ve never seen a man with such beautiful hands and such manicured nails,’ she says. ‘You look like a pianist! Do you play the piano?’

  ‘Erm, no actually, I don’t.’ Luke smiles and tries to withdraw his hand, without success.

  ‘I always pay attention to hands. I’m a nail technician, you see,’ Sylvie explains. ‘I recently read a book about telling people’s personalities from their fingernails. Did you know, you can tell an awful lot about a person from how they look after their nails?’

  ‘Really?’ I say in interest. ‘What kind of things?’

  ‘Just things about their character,’ Sylvie says.

  ‘So if you have fake fingernails’ – I glance at Sylvie’s gel nails – ‘what would that say about your
personality?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Sylvie says. ‘You tell me.’

  I shake my head and open my mouth to say something, but Elisa is too quick for me.

  ‘I wish I had such nice nails,’ she says. ‘You should see mine, I can’t stop biting them. When are you going to give me a manicure again, Sylvie?’

  ‘Soon,’ Sylvie says stiffly.

  ‘They look very realistic,’ Luke says admiringly. ‘It’s really not possible to tell fake ones from real ones these days.’

  ‘I agree,’ I join in. ‘I find it exhausting sometimes, don’t you? I mean, what’s left that’s genuine these days? Pumped-up lips, hair extensions, silicone tits, plastic confidence, all of it. Some women have more paint on their faces than I’ve got on my front door!’ I laugh but Raoul’s the only one who laughs along.

  ‘You should try going out with one of those women!’ he says. ‘Imagine the fright when they take it all off before bed!’

  My suspicions vanish. I take a nasty pleasure in looking at Sylvie, sitting there quietly with all her wonderful make-up. Touchdown, girl.

  Luke apparently feels sorry for Sylvie and begins a new conversation with her. He’s such an attentive, sweet dining companion that the smile returns to her face.

  Dear Luke, I think affectionately. What a shame you’re gay. I’d fall for you completely if you weren’t.

  We sit there chatting and eating. I talk and drink too much and become aware of it, but no one seems bothered. There’s a lot of laughter, and even Sylvie smiles at my stream of anecdotes. I’m probably a little drunk, this will have to be my last glass. The conversation turns to Bilal and my problems at school, but I shut it down. ‘Come on, I’m having a night out!’

  Luke nods. ‘That’s it, don’t let the boy ruin your evening, Lydia.’ He shifts his position to get away from Sylvie, who’s leaning against him, and looks at me with despair. Once more he’s been too accommodating towards her. Sylvie’s left hand is on the table, but her right one has disappeared. I try to picture where it is now and have trouble keeping a straight face.

  ‘Hey, Luke, have you left your boyfriend at home on his own? He could have come too.’ I realise what I’m saying as it leaves my mouth. It’s a careless slip, really it is. I didn’t stop to think that no one knows that Luke is gay. But what difference does it make? It’s only a secret at school, it won’t matter to anyone here. Except to Sylvie. I see the confusion on her face as she looks from me to Luke. There might be a way out of this, I could say that Sven’s a friend he was supposed to be meeting tonight, but the disbelief and anger that washes over Luke’s face makes that impossible. And Sylvie, of course, makes it even worse.