Jump Starting the Universe Book Bundle

by John David Buchanan

  “Tap that public tab and see what it does,” whispered Mark as he leaned down next to her. Amelia tapped the green tab and immediately there was a picture of Tugurro.

  “So happy you received my message,” said Tugurro’s image, “the restaurant has been overrun with patrons; more like a stampede really.” Now the rest of the group was standing behind Amelia watching the video. “After you left,” continued Tugurro, “I tasted the toast (his eyes glazed momentarily) and immediately began work on a recipe. After several attempts, I perfected it and made a large batch. Just to test it, I put a sign by the door indicating the restaurant would be offering a new item, toast.”

  “This afternoon several customers inquired if it was real toast and I said they should try it and tell me. Several of them ordered toast, in spite of the very high price. After tasting it, they called their friends and those friends arrived and called their friends, and so on. Just before closing (with 85 customers still waiting to be seated) one of the customers named Balchek Verdini from Shenyoa Tye 4, asked if he could have a word.

  After closing Balchek returned and met with me for about an hour to discuss business opportunities. I explained to him that you are my partners but he would not be dissuaded. He offered to take the restaurant galactic, to make it a chain and he would put up the capital to build 100 restaurants on 50 planets in the Verdine System. He also thought we could sell franchises. To purchase his one-seventh partnership Balchek offered to pay 1,800,000 credits, each!”

  Sly who was watching the video with the rest whistled, “You didn’t tell me you are restaurateurs?”

  Wayne looked at Sly and replied, “We didn’t know we were restaurateurs, but I like the sound of it.”

  The video of Tugurro continued, “Balchek is not one to be deterred. He insisted on making an immediate deposit to my account and to your credit card accounts. He said if the deal isn’t consummated we can return the credits.”

  Nita looked at Venessa and asked, “Do you think you could give us some advice. We are rather new to the galactic business scene.”

  “Balchek Verdini is a very successful venture capitalist.” “If he is willing to advance that sum of credits it means he thinks the restaurant is a guaranteed gusher. Where did this Tugurro get his hands on toast, its export from Alphus Nebulum is strictly forbidden?”

  Mark’s cheeks reddened a bit and he told the story about jail, and putting the toast in his bag. “I didn’t know it wasn’t supposed to be exported until later when Blackie told me about his discussion with Prenetian.”

  “You know Judge Prenetian,” Sly asked quickly, “you guys are really full of surprises.”

  “Well don’t think too highly of us,” said Amelia,” we didn’t know he was a judge. I wonder what he was doing in jail?”

  Sly laughed to himself, “People are always trying to figure why Prenetian does what he does. Very colorful chap Prenetian; always linked to the very best stories and rumors. Last I heard, he chats with the Lactropodectopoi on a regular basis.”

  Blackie stood remembering the cave and the excellent conversation they had. “That’s no rumor Sly. Now, back to the restaurant issue, I say we take Balchek’s offer, what do we have to lose?” Sly was beginning to think these young travelers were more than they admitted. Everyone agreed and with Sly’s help they used the holoscreen to send Tugurro their greetings and their decision.

  “I should think it will be at least a few days before you can go back to the hotel,” said Sly, so you can stay with us until then.

  “We’re not going back to anything,” said Wayne, “the hotel burned to the ground.”

  Vanessa, who had stayed in the hotel looked puzzled. “Didn’t Sly tell you about the hotel.”

  “Tell us what,” said Wayne, “to be more selective about the inn we choose to almost get burned alive in.”

  “No, no,” said Vanessa, “it’s being rebuilt right now, even as we chat. It should be finished in several days.”

  Wayne looked at Vanessa, “Vanessa, I don’t think we explained it properly, so you’ve misunderstood,” he sighed, “the hotel was a complete loss. We barely made it out before the building collapsed.” Vanessa watched him talk and had that look like she knew a secret and was bursting to tell it.

  “Wayne,” said Vanessa, “the Phoenix Hotel is named after a legendary bird.”

  “Yeah, I’ve read about them in literature,” interjected Blackie.”

  “Did any of you happen to look at the hotel brochure,” said Vanessa smiling.

  “We didn’t get the chance,” interjected Nita, “Wayne said we were going to have a picketric.”

  “That’s picnic,” said Wayne.

  “Picnic,” said Nita, “and we went across to the park, why do you ask.”

  Vanessa couldn’t contain herself, “If you had had a chance to read the brochure you would have known that the Phoenix Hotel has burned down 947 times, and each time it is rebuilt exactly as it was before. It literally rises from its ashes. The record rebuild time is 2 days 22 hours.”

  Mark was looking rather unconvinced, “The hotel will be rebuilt, completely, in 3 days, more or less.”

  “Vanessa is right,” said Sly, “I’m sorry for not telling you but I thought you must have known. The firemen weren’t there to put out the fire, they never are. They were there to make sure everyone exited the building and to confirm the building was completely destroyed before calling Wright Universal Construction. But it does sound like they were a tad late this time.”

  “They are the construction engineers I take it?” said Mark.

  “Yes,” said Vanessa, “the robotics division.”

  “This is starting to hurt my head,” said Wayne.

  Sly let out a laugh like a bark, “All the construction diagrams are downloaded into the constructor-bots. Not that they really need it, the same crew has completed the last 146 rebuilds. By the time you have relaxed with us for a couple of days the hotel will be rebuilt and ready for your return.

  “We’re not returning,” said Amelia. “We don’t know where we are going.”

  “Or what we are doing for that matter,” said Wayne.

  “Not that we’re having a bad time,” said Nita quickly,” just not a planned one.”

  Sly looked at them trying to deduce what was going on, “Well some people like to just pop randomly about, it’s okay if you like that sort of outing.”

  “We don’t know how to get back,” Amelia said bluntly.

  “You could try the reverse ring,” said Vanessa.

  “The reverse what?” questioned Blackie who was momentarily mesmerized by meteors pounding the plain and had missed some of the conversation.

  “Around the recessed button on the Jump Starter there is a small ring,” said Vanessa.

  “A retention ring,” said Wayne.

  “It looks like a retention ring,” said Sly, “but if you look close you will see it has a tiny arrow pointing in the direction you last jumped.” Amelia pulled the Jump Starter out of her bag and examined it. No one had noticed the tiny arrow. Vanessa was watching their faces.

  “You mean we just have to turn the ring in the direction opposite to where the arrow points, and we’ll return to where we came from?” said Blackie.

  “That’s right,” said Vanessa, “simple and accurate.”

  Wayne looked both relieved then concerned. “If I understand this correctly, we turn the ring 180 degrees and we jump right back into the lobby. What if someone is standing there?”

  “After the Model #1 recall, each Jump Starter model has been built with a preview circuit that evaluates the landing point and adjusts the final geographic coordinates to prevent injury.”

  “They had a recall, did they?”

  “Yes, immediately after a jumper, ugh, I can’t discuss it, its dreadful what two bodies can look like when they’re accidently intermingled.” While the group listened intently to Vanessa, Sly paid the bill.

  “So, hang with us for a few day
s and then you can get back to the Phoenix,” said Sly.

  “Which way are we headed,” asked Nita just as a tremendous meteor hit the plain.

  “Not that way,” said Sly, pointing out the observation window. They made their way toward the Sub-lift amid many thank you sirs, and please come back sirs, and hope to see you again sirs and madams.

  “I’m telling you it is a very nice gig,” communicated the Sub-lift to the freight elevator. “They just take fabulous care of me all the time, because let’s face it, I am the client’s first impression, you know. You should angle for an upgrade,” communicated the Sub-lift.

  “Upgrade,” retorted the freight elevator, “you mean a complete make-over. My carpet is thread bare, my walls are scratched, my buttons have grime all over them, heavens knows what organisms are growing on them, probably GRSA. And, some creep scratched a filthy message on the back of my door. Who cares what Crystalis does in her spare time? All they have done for me is install AI Release 2.3. It makes me tremble just thinking about it.”

  The Sub-lift broke into the conversation, “Sorry, we’ll have to finish later; I have a party going to the garage.”

  The electrical connections of the freight elevator began to overheat and smoke a little. No one had ever used the word party in a sentence involving him, he was just a freight elevator. “Angle for an upgrade, I mean really,” thought the freight elevator, “what am I supposed to do, fill out an application and interview for the position.”

  The freight elevator started bouncing up and down as if its hydraulic controls were on holiday. It was clearly throwing a tantrum. I’ll show you upgrade, it thought as it went up to the highest position at the C-level, overrode the electronic break and went plunging to the basement. Upgrade this, thought the elevator as it hit the basement and exploded like a small bomb packed with C-4 explosive.

  “What was that?” yelled Nita, looking a little shocked as she glanced in the direction of the dust cloud engulfing the freight elevator shaft across the garage.

  “Oh, not to worry,” said Sly, “probably just someone from the restaurant throwing a party.

  “Freight, freight are you there?” communicated the Sub-lift. There was no reply, absolutely none.

  This exemplifies the darkest and most dramatic downside of machine to machine communications. It seems so innocuous, but not so. It starts with just a simple machine to machine communication, then another. Before long MtM capable machines start to participate in ongoing, even protracted, communications. A relationship of sorts then starts to develop. We give them movement, logic, communications and wonder why they sometimes refuse to do what we ask them to do. Its sulking I think; sometimes they sulk. But sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s grief.

  On a related note, the local university has recently implemented a new field of legal studies - Machine’s Rights.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  MILITARY AI RELEASE 2.2.

  It was once said that artificial intelligence is a splendid invention, until it actually becomes intelligent. This statement is credited to General Ikso Vitolo who led the 101st Division of Lootian Advance Deployment Soldiers (LADS) to their worst military defeat in several millennia. While the 101st was used to being battered in the armed forces football league, they were not well disposed to military obliteration, as they were generally recognized as very capable soldiers.

  In preparation for their campaign against the Slingolin Warriors, who disputed Lootian claims to the 12th moon of Quadrad, General Vitolo deployed his troops and readied his command for engagement. War seemed inevitable when diplomatic discussions were cut short by the beheading of Zirgoff Nitt, Lootian Secretary of State. Slingolins are quickly bored, especially by long speeches, and it has been suggested by Henque Kisilger, an expert in the intergalactic diplomacy, that they didn’t actually mean to withdraw from negotiations, they just wanted Zirgoff to shut-up, and thought beheading him might do the trick. It certainly did.

  General Vitolo was confident of his chances of victory owing to a recently upgraded tool in the art of war - automated armaments equipped with Military Artificial Intelligence Release 2.2. Release 2.2 included a dizzying array of algorithms that allowed armament options beyond any ever deployed; the armaments could in fact evaluate battle circumstances and select the most appropriate deployment option to limit Lootian casualties.

  Limiting casualties was in fact Release 2.2’s primary mission, apart from obliterating things beyond all recognition. The military’s defense contractors really like blowing things up. Armament designers left nothing to the imagination and programmed every conceivable scenario so that casualties would be limited during an engagement. Records of actual communications during the Slingolin engagement are too long to be repeated verbatim, and certain sensitive military information was deleted from files obtained through the Freedom of Galactic Information Act, nevertheless, various communications indicate exactly how the battle was lost. It didn’t take long and went something like this.

  General Vitolo called in an airstrike to soften up the Slingolins before advancing. The fully automated Lootian Hawk Fighter drones went screaming across the sky directly at the Slingolins, who immediately prepared to let loose a huge barrage of anti-aircraft missiles. The following communiques appear in the engagement files.

  Hawk Fighter 1drone to Hawk Fighter 2 drone, “Do you see those anti-aircraft batteries?”

  Hawk Fighter 6 drone to Hawk Fighter 1drone,” Do you think those are for us?”

  Hawk Fighter 8 drone to ATU-1 (fully automated tank unit drone), “Do you suppose those anti-aircraft batteries are meant for us?”

  “Look, I believe they also have anti-tank cannons near the front line,” announced Hawk Fighter 36.

  “That’s not good, not good at all,” replied Tank ATU-18 drone.

  “Fully automated Hover Fighter 1 drone (HF-1), do those look like cannons?” asked Tank ATU-18?

  “I believe they do,” communicated Hover Fighter HF-1.

  “Imaging analysis indicates they are cannons,” reported HF-39.

  “Are they really big cannons,” requested MCU-1 drone (fully automated Mobile Cannon Unit).

  “Pretty big, like on the huge-ish side,” responded Hawk Fighter 44.

  “Excuse me, but aren’t we drones technically Lootians,” asked Mobile Cannon MCU-14.

  “I believe we are,” replied Tank ATU-112, “maybe we should think this through before plunging into the fray.”

  Hawk Fighter 1 to all Hawk Fighters, ATUs, and MCUs, “You are hereby requested to initiate standard computer link 2-A for primary mission analysis.”

  “Will this take long,” asked ATU 1112.

  “Not long at all responded,” HF-1.

  HF-1 to all, “Analysis is complete and the chosen course of action will be communicated immediately.”

  Hawk Fighter 1 to General Vitolo, “General we have completed a computer link of all deployed automated and unmanned armaments (drones) for the purpose of conducting a primary mission analysis. We have concluded that due to the Slingolin anti-aircraft batteries and anti-tank cannons the probability of an unacceptable casualty level among Lootian drones – including Hawk Fighters, Automated Tank Units, and Hover Fighters - is significantly higher than we are comfortable with. Casualty avoidance has been implemented. We are going home. Have a nice war.”

  Soon after, Artificial Intelligence Release 2.3 for Non-Military Equipment was released without the primary mission algorithms. It was unnecessary, reasoned its developers, because casualty analysis isn’t needed beyond the field of battle. Someone kindly tell that to the freight elevator at the Sub-Bar.

  ****************************************

  The next morning Sly was up early doing a little early morning business on the communicator. Amelia came in search of a strong cup of coffee. “It’s really nice of you to put us up,” said Amelia as she poured the deep brown liquid into her mug. After one sip, she said, “This coffee is extraordinary, what is it?” />
  “That is Gavalkia,” replied Sly. “It’s grown on a planet by the same name, but it’s commonly called the mountain planet. It is an absolutely beautiful world except for the Pickers,” he finished.

  “Who are the pickers?” asked Amelia.

  “What are they might be a better question,” responded Sly. “The oldest records of Gavalkia indicate the Pickers were there from the beginning, standing beside the coffee bushes. They have always maintained the Gavalkia coffee plants, and they are very, very protective of them.

  “Why are they called Pickers?” queried Amelia.

  Sly wasn’t sure this was the conversation Amelia wanted to have this early in the morning, but she asked so he began his explanation.

  “Pickers are blind,” said Sly. “They have vestigial eyes in their eye sockets, not to see obviously, but to sense. They developed the ability to detect very small amounts of heat and movement; some say they 'see' electromagnetic radiation patterns. As I said before, Pickers are very protective. They are the size of two large men, stealthy like Agein cats, strong like Sadporite gorillas, and intelligent like the dolphins on Terra Bulga. They are also devoid of forgiveness if they believe you are on their planet to harm their crop or steal their beans.”

  “You purchased these beans from them?” remarked Amelia.

  “Never,” said Sly, “It is said that people would rather go on a Belkie hunt at the Preserve with only a tooth pick and a sling shot than go to Gavalkia. Besides they won’t sell them, it’s the only thing they can eat; Pickers can only metabolize Gavalkian coffee beans, nothing else. That probably explains why they obsessively horde them. I’ve heard there are 600,000 kilos stored in cool caverns around the valleys.”

  “Having heard the same rumor, about two years ago a delightful chap went to Gavalkia with a complete business plan; Chey Singal I think was his name. He had calculated the Picker population size, the amount of coffee they needed per year, a sizable reserve of beans as a hedge against a bad crop (even though there has never been a bad crop) and a plan to sell the extra beans on the open market for a huge profit which they would split.”