Finally Maya opened the door of her room and went inside. Hansabehn had told her that Amrita was sleeping. Indeed, she was fast asleep, curled on the bed, still wearing her blue dress. A few broken bangles lay on the floor along with the string of jasmine that Maya had fastened to Amrita's short hair with such difficulty. She gently brushed the hair away from her sister's face. In the faint light of the night lamp she saw patches of dried tears on Amrita's cheeks.
She's taken badly to my absence! How will she react when I leave her tomorrow? And why is it so cold in here?
Hansabehn had forgotten to close the windows and the winter breeze made Amrita's feet and hands cold to Maya's touch. She quickly shut the windows and covered her sister with a blanket.
Despite her tiredness she found it difficult to sleep. With her eyes getting used to the darkness, even the night lamp seemed too bright. She switched it off and lay down again. When finally she slept, it was to dream of her sister dancing with Sundar. Amrita's hair was loose and untamed, making her look possessed by a spirit. Sundar called to Maya to dance with them. She was on the other side of the glass door that wouldn't open however hard she pulled. In desperation, she began to beat on the door with both hands. That was when she realised that her mother was really knocking on the door.
"Wake up. It's time."
***
20
aya sac up and rubbed her eyes. Her dream had been so vivid that she looked at the other bed to ensure that Amrita was indeed there. With the windows tightly fastened, it was dark in the room and she could barely make out the uneven hump that was her sister. The faint glimmer of the timepiece showed that it was nearly 6 o'clock. She got up and went co Amrita. The blanket had fallen to the ground and her sister lay curled with knees raised and hands across her chest. Maya covered her, throwing her own blanket as well over Amrita.
Poor girl! Let her sleep but I must tell her where I'm going so that she doesn't react like yesterday. What if I insist that she come with me? I don't know how she'll cope with so many strangers and loud noises. What if she creates a scene like appa said? No, it's better to leave her here.
She showered quickly in hot water. It helped to revive her spirits and she began to hum softly. It was her wedding day. Soon she would be able to take her sister with her. She dried herself while the steam rose gently from her body.
"Coffee . . . behn, are you awake?" Hansabehn called through the door. "It is your wedding today or have you been ready since yesterday?"
"Leave it outside. I'll take it. I'm getting ready," Maya replied in a loud whisper, with an eye on her sister, but that was enough to rouse the girl.
"Good-morning, Ammu. Did we disturb you? I am sorry. You can sleep some more if you want."
She switched on the table lamp and set it beside the dressing table. It shone on her face leaving the rest of the room in darkness. Maya began to do her face while Amrita lay in bed and watched her sleepily. Slowly she began to pay greater interest to what Maya was doing. After a few minutes she sat up and watched her.
"Look, if you're not going to sleep any more you might as well get up and brush your teeth."
Amrita obediently got off the bed.
"And switch on the light."
The tube light flooded the room and Maya could now dress with greater speed. By the time Amrita came out of the bathroom she had changed into a rich mustard coloured silk sari with red border.
"How do I look?" she asked.
Amrita smiled in approval.
"Can't you say something for once? At least today? Good or nice or something?"
"Go on," she insisted. "If you like me, you'll say something. Good, nice, not good, bad. . . anything. It doesn't matter if you don't know the meaning."
"Nice," said Amrita shyly.
"You did it! After all these years of mumbling, one clear word," Maya hugged her sister. "Now look, I must tell you something important. It's my wedding today. I'll be gone for a longer time than yesterday. I'll lock the door so that no one can enter. Hansabehn has a key. Like yesterday she'll bring your food. I want you to eat properly. Don't waste anything and don't pine for me. I'll come back but you have to get used to being without me, understand?"
Amrita nodded.
"I don't have time to help you but here's the red dress. Even if you're not coming with me, you must still wear it. Be careful with the glass bangles. If they break, they could hurt your hands. Before you wear your new dress remember to have a bath . . . in warm water. Take care," Maya kissed her sister lightly on the forehead, locked the door and pinned the key to her chain. She shoved it down her blouse, out of sight. As she walked towards the steps her mother was coming up to call her.
"Hurry. It's getting late. Your father has sent word twice already."
The car approached the choultry and Maya heard the blare of music. It was still too early for the guests but there were a few rituals to be gone through before the main ceremony.
"You'll take care of her, won't you?" she asked hesitantly.
"Of course, don't worry," replied her mother, looking at Raghu walking up and down at the entrance of the hall.
Maya was not convinced by the reply and wondered if she should repeat her question but by then the car had come to a halt. Raghu's irritation burst in a splutter of words.
"At last! I was about to send Sundar to fetch you two. The priest is getting impatient. And that hairdresser has been waiting for ages. How can you be so late today of all the days?"
Maya stood still. Sundar?
"Hurry up now," he ordered. "Everything under control, Sundar? It was so good of you to come. I badly needed somebody to help me. Come on, you two, be quick. There! The priest is calling out for us. Sundar, you stand here to welcome the guests."
Maya did not know how her feet could carry her forward so calmly behind her parents when her heart was thumping wildly and everything round her seemed to go in circles.
Her eyes kept darting towards Sundar as he stood at the entrance of the hall sprinkling rose water on the invitees from a silver container while a girl standing beside him offered flowers. Between visitors they talked and laughed as if they had known each other for a long time. Not once did he return Maya's look.
What on earth is he doing here? Perhaps he's just come for the wedding.
Maya sat with Ganesh to her left, facing the priests on the other side of the agni. The head priest, an elderly man with thick black hair sprouting from his ears led the chanting and signalled to Ganesh with his hand every time an offering was to be made to the fire. The smoke soon created a thick screen between the bridal couple and the guests who were rapidly filling the chairs in the hall. The prayers, the general excitement and the hum of talk among the guests could not prevent her from searching for Sundar with her eyes, to ensure that he was still around.
"Keep your head down," her mother kept muttering from behind.
It was nearing the muhurtam time of 12.30. Ganesh's sister Parvati led Maya to an inner room and helped her change into the traditional nine yards sari. Like a puppet she followed her instructions while Parvati manipulated what seemed like an endless stretch of wine red silk. She knotted, pleated, tucked it at the waist, got Maya to hold it down with a heel and finally flipped the ornate pallu over, folded, brought it across her stomach and shoved the end firmly into her side. If Maya was bewildered by this complexity she found walking out of the room a bigger ordeal. All eyes seemed to be on her as she walked stiffly to where her parents waited.
She sat on her father's lap while Ganesh stood before her. At the propitious time the priest signalled to the musicians and they played a crescendo while Ganesh tied the mangalsutra round her neck. Parvati knotted the yellow thread deftly twice more and Maya's status changed in a shower of flowers and turmeric-coloured rice.
I am married. How do I make Ammu understand this? When will Sundar leave?
Maya distractedly watched her new husband go through the routine to initiate them into the next stage of their l
ife with the sacred fire as witness. The smoke made her eyes water. She looked away and noticed Sundar still flirting, this time with three girls, all of them laughing more than they talked. The formalities ended at last and Ganesh and Maya finally had some time to themselves.
"Happy?" asked Ganesh.
She shrugged. Where was Sundar? Where the hell was he?
"There you go! I'll have to take lessons in your language of half-smiles, shrugs and nods."
To this too Maya had no answer. Would he have gone home? What can he do? I have the key. Hansabehn has the duplicate. What if she gives it to him?
"Oh Maya, don't be so passive with me. We are married after all. We are partners now."
That got her attention.
"That's not the way my father treats mother," she said.
"He's from an older generation. If I've read him correctly he's pretty outdated in his views. You're not like your mother either so we'll start our relationship on our own terms. I want you beside me always and you can be sure of my support in whatever you do," he declared.
"In everything?"
"Absolutely."
"Did you think about what I told you?"
"About your sister? Indeed yes, quite a lot really. I've already informed my office that I should be given the Mumbai project. Work will start in another eight months."
"Eight? You had said six!"
"I know but these things don't move as quickly as we want them to. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if it's a little longer than eight months but we'll certainly take her with us when we go to Mumbai. That's a promise."
Her shoulders sagged.
"I'm so sorry to disappoint you but believe me, I did my best to get them to start the work earlier. It was simply not possible they said. Nevertheless, I've told them that I want to shift to Mumbai at the earliest opportunity. You may think that I don't keep my word. I really did try to convince them."
Maya glanced at him quickly and looked away. She didn't know him well enough to read his expression but it did seem that he was telling the truth. What about Ammu? Her sigh came out louder than she intended.
"Are you feeling terribly tired? We have a long journey ahead. I told appa that I could stay here for a couple of days and then we could join them at Madras but he wouldn't listen. He can't postpone the reception he's arranged for us there. I'm sorry to rush you like this. I'll make up for it when we get home."
Maya smiled.
"That's better! I don't see your sister anywhere. Where is she?" he asked, looking around.
"At home."
"But why? She should have come," he protested.
"Appa wouldn't let her."
"That's terrible! I wish I'd known, I would have talked to him."
Maya shook her head. "It wouldn't have worked. He said we couldn't take a risk bringing her here. He was probably right, I don't know."
"Would you like to go home? I'm sure you want to spend the little time we have alone with your sister."
"May I?" she asked eagerly.
"Of course, why not? I'll get somebody to take you," he looked around once again.
"Will you come with me?"
"It'll be better if I stay behind, otherwise people will start wondering about our absence."
"What if somebody asks for me?"
"I'll tell them, don't worry. We'll have to leave by 9 o'clock. The train's at ten. Let's have lunch and then you can go home. It will be our first meal together after all. You'll still get to spend a few hours with your sister. You've explained to her that you'll visit her often?"
"I have. But I don't know how much of it she understood."
"Don't worry. She may manage better than you think. Let's have lunch."
The guests had fun at the expense of the newlyweds, making them feed one another and laughing at their own jokes. Ganesh rallied back but Maya was quiet, thinking that she would get over the meal sooner if she simply did whatever they asked.
"Hey, Ganesh! Your wife is wasting food. You'd better tell her to eat properly," Sundar shouted, joining the crowd from somewhere and lifting Maya's spirit.
"That's all right. Obviously she can't eat too much today."
"Why not?" asked another voice.
"She's full already – of thoughts about me."
Everybody burst into laughter while she blushed.
"Is that so, Maya? But see how much he's hogging!"
"I need the strength now that my responsibilities have increased."
The banter went on and on, making her impatient but she couldn't leave the table and walk away. Ganesh sensed her restlessness and managed to break up the crowd. He called Sundar aside and quietly arranged for him to take her home. By then it was past four.
Sundar drove the car while she sat at the back. She waited till the car crossed the gate of the hall.
"I suppose appa invited you for the wedding?" she asked.
"In a way, yes. Things didn't work out back home. Mom and Gauri were worrying all the time about money. . . money. . . money. I didn't think it wise to be there so I used your wedding as the excuse to leave and here I am, come to stay," he looked at her in the rear-view mirror and smiled.
"Stay?" she asked, licking her lips that had suddenly dried.
"Yep! Not forever, thank you. Only till I can get a good job and silence my sister once and for all. I'm sick of her cribbing about me."
"I suppose you might want to stay somewhere else. . .
"Oh, stop hedging. I know very well what's bugging you. I don't see why I should suffer the inconvenience of a paid accommodation just because you are worried about your precious sister. Don't worry. I'll take good care of her. In fact, I'm eagerly looking forward to spending time with her. Quality time. Without you hovering around like a mother hen. Or shall I say Guardian Angel? I can certainly teach her a lot of things . . . much more than you could. . ." he turned around in his seat and smiled at her.
She wondered for a wild moment if she should tell him to take her back to her father.
What will I tell him? That I'm afraid this fellow will harm my sister? And how do I tell him this with so many people around? Oh God, what's to happen now?
Sundar took the car in smoothly to the front of the house and stopped. Maya remained rooted to her seat. She did not even realise that they had reached.
"There you are, madam," he opened the door with a flourish and bowed slightly for her to step outside. She did not hear him.
"Hey! This is where you get off, remember?" he bent down and looked through the window.
"What are you thinking about? Don't worry. I'll take excellent care of your dear sister," he laughed. "Now will you please get out? I've to go back to the choultry however much I'd like to spend time with both of you. We don't want your in-laws to think that you and I have vanished so soon after you got married to their son, do we?" he laughed again and left.
Maya walked slowly into the house. It was quiet. Nearing the kitchen she heard Hansabehn's voice burst into sudden laughter. She paused outside the closed door and listened.
"I'm telling you there's no need to worry. No one's here, except that one upstairs," said the maid confidently.
"It's better to be safe. I thought I heard a car," a strange male voice replied.
Maya did not wait to hear more but ran up the stairs and unlocked the room. She opened the door cautiously and peeped inside. Amrita was sitting on the floor facing the wall. Her blue dress was crumpled and stained while her hair hung around her face in tangles. Maya rushed towards her sister, the jangling of her bangles and the little bells on her anklets making soft music, but Amrita did not seem to hear it. She continued to sit on her haunches, rocking gently. Her eyes were closed and she had a thumb in her mouth.
She hasn't done this for such a long time! God, she's taking it far worse than I thought. How am I going to handle this?
Maya touched her sister on the shoulder.
Amrita continued to rock. Maya sat down and threw her hand over the oth
er girl but the rocking wouldn't stop.
"Amrita . . . Ammu. . . it's me. I've come back," she said loudly and clearly.
Her words finally penetrated into her sister's consciousness and Amrita slowly opened her eyes. She saw Maya and burst into tears.
Maya held her sister tightly while the girl cried on her shoulder.
"It's all right. Shh. . . it's all right. I should have taken you with me. I didn't. I couldn't. Please stop crying. Please, Ammukutti. I've come back. Don't cry. I've come back to you," she pleaded, patting her all the while. The tears ceased finally. She ran a hand down her sister's back to soothe the heaving spasms.
"Here, look at me," she said, but Amrita wouldn't lift her head from her shoulder.
Maya caught her sister's shoulders and held her away to look at her face.
"Chee, you are in such a state! Go and wash your face."
Amrita left her reluctantly, looking back at her as she walked to the bathroom.
The red salwar suit lay where Maya had left it that morning, on the table. The matching bangles strung on a red ribbon were intact on top of the dress. Next to it were two cups with dregs of coffee long dried. Even then a fly drew imaginary circles in the air over them.
"Oh my God! Did that woman give Ammu any breakfast? Lunch?"
She rushed to the top of the steps and shouted, "Hansa . . . Hansabehn. Come here at once!"
The kitchen door flew open and the maid rushed out. Seeing Maya she stopped at the foot of the steps.
"Why didn't you give my sister anything to eat? I told you to take care of her. Is this how you do it? The poor girl has been starving! How can you do this to her?" she shouted.
The maid mumbled something but Maya was beyond listening to any explanation.
"Go and get something to eat immediately. Something hot. Quick!" she ordered.
Hansabehn brought the food upstairs. By then she had recovered from the shock of seeing Maya home so soon after her wedding.
"What was the hurry, behn? She is not a baby that she should be fed at fixed times."
"Don't talk. Don't say another word. I had entrusted her in your care and you have nor done your duty. . ."
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