Uniform Desires (Make Mine Military Romance)

by Sharon Hamilton

  “If that’s what you think attracts them and keeps them coming around, you’re living in denial.”

  “Okay, I know it had to do with the way she’s built. I’m not blind, but I can pretend. She’s my sister.” Mal jerked a shoulder. “Anyway, I worked through my anger. It’s hard to be pissed at a guy who had his knee all fucked up, and well, knocked stupid. Stupider. I guess I should ask your intentions, but that would get me smacked around by Shannon if she found out.”

  “I’m not truly sure of my intentions.”

  Mal nodded in understanding. Their job didn’t allow for a lot of self-reflection. Any relationship, whether sexual or not, didn’t always stand up to the horrible life of the significant other of a Seal.

  “I just wanted you to know I will stand clear. Shannon wouldn’t have taken you to bed if she didn’t want you there.”

  “Your sister never does anything she doesn’t want to.” Even Kade could hear the admiration in his own voice. He had always been drawn to strong, capable women.

  “You’ll get no problems from me unless you hurt her.”

  Kade sighed and shook his head. "Fuck, Mal, I’m a man. I’m going to hurt her.”

  “Not intentionally. That’s different.”

  He nodded.

  “I decided Chief and I are going out to Mama’s. I really don’t want to be in a house with you two. Kind of gross.”

  “I hope you have cheese grated for those eggs,” Shannon said from the doorway. He looked in her direction, and his breath caught in his throat. The sun was now streaming in behind her. She was wearing that same little robe she was before, and he couldn’t help the heat that poured into his blood at the sight of her.

  “Oh, God, you two are disgusting. Can the kitchen be a non-sex part of the house?”

  He glanced at his friend. “Get used to it.”

  Mal chuckled. “And no, I didn’t put cheese into the eggs because not everyone wants it.”

  “My kitchen, my rules.”

  “But I’m not giving your boyfriend here any issues. And, remember, I am the one cooking. I won’t make you any.”

  “You suck.”

  “Well, be glad I’m not going to kick your boyfriend’s ass. Because he knows I can.”

  She smiled at her brother then looked at Kade. “He lives in a little world of his own making, doesn’t he?”

  “Also, be happy I’m leaving you two alone. Chief and I are going to Mama’s.”

  “You’ll get more home-cooked meals there.”

  She walked over to Kade, then as if it was the most natural thing to do, slipped onto his lap. He hesitated, his chest tight at the simple gesture, and slid his arms around her waist. Chief came in next, clean-shaven, looking like he was ready to report to duty.

  He gave them a disgusted look. “I still think you would be better off with me.”

  She laughed at that. “I’m sure you do. I need to get dressed because I have paperwork to get done.”

  “I thought you had off for the next few days,” Kade said.

  She nodded. “I forgot I have to get the schedule set up and the time sheets processed. I’ll be back and there better be cheese in those eggs.”

  After she gave him a quick kiss, she said, “You can come with me today, but it would be really boring.”

  He wanted to go. He wanted to be anywhere she was. For some reason, he felt a desperate need to be in the same room as her.

  The moment he thought it, he felt funny, as if something was clutching at his throat. Immediately, he backed up from that thought. They had little time together, but he needed some space. “I think the guys and I are going to go over to your mama’s for lunch, or that was the plan yesterday.”

  Mal nodded. “Mama will be pissed if I don’t bring her favorite boy.”

  She sighed. “Fine, abandon me for an older woman who can cook better than I could ever dream of. See where that gets you.”

  She slipped off his lap and went to get ready.

  He rose to fill his cup when Chief said, “You know if you fuck this up, McKade, there is a good chance that after Dupree finishes with you, I’ll kick your ass.”

  “You could try, Chief,” he said cheerfully, feeling somehow lighter. He filled his cup then looked over Mal’s shoulder. “Seriously, mate, you better put some cheese in those eggs.”

  “Shit.”

  · · · · ·

  “You better get something to drink, Francis,” Anna Louise Dupree said. He did as she told him, enjoying the homemade strawberry lemonade more than he would admit. Other than his mother, she was the only person who could get away with calling him by his first name. “And don’t you worry. We’ll put some meat on you this week.”

  He loved her as if she was his own mother, and sadly, he had a better relationship with Mal’s mother. Closer. Where Jocelyn had taken after their father in looks and temperament, Shannon was her mother through and through. Her mother was average height, delightfully rounded, and so full of joy, you couldn’t help but smile at her. She had taken him under her wing the moment he’d shown up with Mal several years earlier. His parents weren’t bad people, they were just distant. His sister wasn’t much better, not now, especially after her divorce last month. It was their nature. Their work in the field of nuclear energy was important to them, and it was the focus of most of their energy. So, when Anna Louise had hugged him like he was a long lost relative, he had been slightly overwhelmed. And, he had fallen in love with her by the end of the weekend.

  “When are you going to run away with me?” he asked as he always did.

  She laughed and for a moment, he could hear Shannon. They were so much alike…except for the cooking. Her green eyes danced with merriment.

  “Oh, you devil. Don’t let Sam hear you, or he’ll beat you up.”

  He snorted. “I can take your husband on.”

  “Maybe, but I think you might have a little trouble with my little girl, yes?”

  Again his face flushed, and dammit, she laughed. It hit him then that this was the most he had spoken in weeks. Shannon and her mother were so much alike. They always drew him out of himself, got him to participate.

  “I still can’t believe you make this homemade, Mrs. Dupree,” Deke said.

  “I told you to call me Anna Louise, Deke. No one in the Dupree house stands on formality.”

  He smiled at her, and Mal made a sound of disgust. “It’s bad enough dealing with Shannon and Kade, but do y’all have to flirt with my mother?”

  “A beautiful woman like your mother should expect it,” Deke said, earning him a knock to the back of the head from Mal.

  “Now, you two boys go out and do something. I want to talk to Kade.”

  Shit. He knew that this was coming, but he hadn’t been ready for it. The others agreed mainly because no one, not even Sam Dupree, said no to Anna Louise in her own house.

  “Now, you going to tell me why you look like this?”

  She waved her hand at him.

  “Bad assignment?”

  She tsked. “More than that, I am sure. You brought some ghosts back with you.”

  He nodded, knowing there would be no denying to Anna Louise. She wouldn’t allow for it.

  “I’ll not ask you what is bothering you. Not yet. You tell that girl of mine when you’re ready.”

  “How does everyone know about that?”

  She rolled her eyes. “What am I, stupid? Seriously, Francis, you follow her around like a puppy dog when you visit. Her brother and his friend are here at my house to stay, but not you. I know my girl has sex.”

  He cleared his throat. "I really don’t want to talk about it.”

  She made a disgusted sound that he had heard a time or two from Mal. "Oh, the poor little Seal is afraid of his lover’s mother.” She shook her head. "Don’t you talk sex with your mother?”

  “Good God, no.” He couldn’t keep the horror out of his voice.

  “Hmm, well, that might be your problem. Either way, know I
do not judge. Just be careful, that’s all I ask.”

  He looked into the eyes so similar to Shannon’s and nodded. "I will do my best, Anna Louise.”

  She smiled then and patted his hand. "I promised that boy of mine some cornbread and fried catfish. I need help in the kitchen. You up to the challenge?”

  Another thing his parents didn’t know about him. He loved to cook. It had come about mainly because his parents would forget to cook. So Kade had taken over. With Anna Louise, though, he had learned so much, and she loved having him in the kitchen.

  He nodded. "I’d love to.”

  · · · · ·

  Shannon looked over the schedule for the next two weeks and sighed. She only had three more days, and the guys had to go back to Virginia. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with the feelings that brought about, but in the last three days since Kade had returned to her bed, she had been unable to ignore them. She hadn’t pushed him, hadn’t tried to. It overwhelmed her a bit too much, but it was growing every day. She wanted to ask what he wanted from her other than sex.

  She didn’t, though. She knew that at the moment, he was doing better, but asking questions like that would be too much. Whatever happened on the mission had really hurt him. She had to give him time to heal, then they could deal with what was going on between them. The nightmares were bad, she knew without being told. And seriously, there was another reason she hadn’t pushed him.

  She was being a coward.

  She could wrap it up in the package of giving him time or the idea that they were living in the moment, but it wasn’t that. She didn’t push because she didn’t want to lose him.

  And that was pitiful.

  “You going to take the night off again?” Simon asked. She heard the disapproval in his voice.

  “Yes. They’re leaving tomorrow. I don’t have that much time left with Kade.”

  “What’s going on between you two?”

  She knew what he wanted but instead she took the chicken’s way out. "I don’t think I have to explain sex to you, do I? I thought you understood all forms of it.”

  He frowned and shut the door behind him before sitting down in the chair in front of her desk. "I want to know what the hell is going to happen when he leaves.”

  “You and me both.”

  “You haven’t discussed it?” he asked.

  “We haven’t had time to do that. Really.”

  Simon rolled his eyes. "Really? You’re having that much sex?”

  She stared at him blankly.

  “Oh, now I am jealous.” Then he frowned. “Stop trying to get me off the subject.

  “You’re the one who brought up sex, not me. And just so you know, Kade doesn’t swing that way.”

  “Shannon.”

  She heard the reprimand in his voice. "What is it you’re getting at?”

  “I know he needs some help, probably has PTSD from that last mission. He’s jumpy, more than usual. But, honey, you need to give yourself the right to ask for more.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You have always gone for what you wanted. In work, in life, with every man other than this one. You are letting him call the shots.”

  “Believe me, it’s worth it.”

  “Again, stop trying to distract me with sex. You’re trying to help him over what he’s dealing with.”

  She frowned. “I don’t know what he’s really dealing with.”

  “You haven’t talked about it.”

  She shook her head “I told you, it’s only been a couple of days.”

  “And you think this is going to help you? Help him? I can tell by looking at him that he needs help.”

  “Of course he does, but do you think one of those damned Seals have spoken to me?” she asked, her voice rising. "The only thing I got out of Mal was that they lost someone, that Mal was knocked unconscious, and that’s it. None of them say anything except that it was a really bad mission.”

  By the time she finished, she realized how loud she had gotten. The silence was almost deafening.

  “Okay, so maybe they aren’t ready to talk. You don’t know what happened, might never. Remember, my dad was Special Forces. There are just some things they are never going to tell you. But what are you going to ask from Kade?”

  Everything.

  The word whispered through her mind, but she didn’t say it. If she did, it wouldn’t come true. She knew she was being a coward, but she had to be careful around him. Pushing him after such a traumatic situation was too much.

  She opened her mouth, but Simon shook his head. "Don’t say a word. I know. Just make sure that at some point, you tell him what you want. He might be hurting now, but believe me, Kade’s a Seal. He can handle a few demands from you. It might be good for both of you.”

  When Simon finally left her alone, she realized that there was some truth to what he had been saying. She had been holding back, and she normally wouldn’t. Yes, he had only been back in her life for less than a week, and their relationship had come out of a friendship. Because she had known him for years, it seemed like a long time, but it wasn’t. Their sexual relationship had only been a few nights. Demanding an answer wasn’t smart. It wasn’t something she even wanted. Shannon knew men, she knew herself even better. She wouldn’t be happy to be pushed at a time like this if she were suffering. She would give him what he needed and wait. Someday, she’d make sure he understood he had to make a choice.

  She just hoped she could hold out that long.

  Chapter 10

  Kade had been feeling antsy all evening. He couldn’t really put his finger on it. It was as if something was crawling under his skin, urging him to some kind of action. The docs told him he would have times like this. Kade had been pretty sure the physicians had lost their minds until he came to see Shannon.

  He wanted to say it was anything but the woman across the table from him. Shannon had brought home dinner from her bar, and they’d eaten by candlelight. Rain was pattering on the roof again, and there were soft blues filtering through the house. It should have been romantic. It was. Beyond romantic. She was sitting there, a smile on her face, looking like the woman of his dreams. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something really bad was about to happen.

  He hated to think it was Shannon. He wanted her so much he thought he would die if he didn’t touch her. At the same time, he hated himself for that. It made no sense. Any man would be happy to sit in his place and have this woman across the table smiling at him as if he were the best man on earth. He couldn’t face it, didn’t want to. It was their last night together, and he didn’t want to ruin it with stupid thoughts.

  “You done?” she asked, no reprimand in her voice.

  He nodded, knowing he had been a bad dinner companion. And that irritated him more. She said nothing as she picked up the plates and took them to her sink. He watched her wash them off, then place them in the dishwasher. He was ruining the little time they had left. He was being a moody ass.

  He brushed the thoughts away and rose to follow her to the sink. He stepped up behind her and placed a hand on the counter on either side of her. She stilled then leaned back against him with a purr.

  “Are you back with the living?”

  “Sorry.”

  She turned and met his gaze directly.

  “Don’t be. I told you, I understand. Mal does it sometimes. Dad did, every now and then. He was in Vietnam the last few years we were over there, and when I was younger, I remember he would get quiet every now and then. I realized later it was after he heard from one of his old military buddies.” She rose to her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Don’t worry so much.”

  The worries he did have disappeared in that kiss. It was not a sexy kiss, one that would tempt him to bed, or it wasn’t meant that way. Her reassurance was more than he had expected, more than he deserved. He said nothing but reached over and turned off the water.

  “Come on,” he said, taking her by the hand. He led her back t
o her room, ready to make sure that tonight would be a night that neither of them would forget. The only light in the room was the small bedside table lamp on a low setting. Just like the woman, the room was sexy. Cool colors draped the windows, covered her bed, but it was the fabrics, the velvets and satins, that pulled him in. They weren’t flowery or even overly feminine, but they were definitely sexy.

  He released her and went to the dresser to retrieve the bag he’d hid by it. He’d done some shopping today, and he wanted to play. When he had laid the contents of the bag out, he turned to face her.

  “I think you have too many clothes on.”

  She didn’t look at him at first. Her gaze was latched onto the toys.

  “Shannon. Look at me.” She raised her gaze to his. She was worried, that was for sure. They had talked about anal sex, but had not attempted it. Tonight he wanted to show her just how much she would like it.

  She undressed slowly, folding her clothes and placing them on the chair beside her dresser. If he was antsy before, he was downright ready to come undone at the moment. The soft light caressed her curves. That body…it was as if God made her for him. He undressed himself then stepped closer to her, slipping his arms around her and pulling her against him.

  He bent his head and brushed his mouth over hers. His entire body reacted to the kiss. His heart sped up, his dick twitched, and his head seemed to float. Shannon would probably always do this to him. He stepped back and cupped her breast, grazing the tip of her nipple with his thumb. She was so fucking responsive.

  “You better get on the bed before I lose control.”

  She smiled as if she didn’t believe him but did as he ordered. He removed the toys from the bag and opened the tube of lube and coated the anal plug with it. "We talked about this before, and I bought the smallest one.”

  When he turned and faced her, he knew she would be wary. She wanted to try it, wanted to let him do what he wanted. In the last three nights, there was one thing he had learned. Shannon loved to let him take control. She was a woman who had complete control in her life, but she wanted someone else to take over in the bedroom. He approached the bed.