One Day You'll Thank Me
Page 15
When Palmer was a year and a half old, I took her to Field and Stream and let her pick out her very own first fishing rod. I knew that being able to fish with his child was a dream of Jason’s, so I thought it would be a fun surprise. She picked out a purple training rod with Elsa from the movie Frozen on it and a pink tackle box. Jason’s eyes lit up when he saw it and he told Palmer he couldn’t wait to take her fishing. They have not successfully caught a fish yet, but that doesn’t matter. I know they will someday. It’s more about the time they spend together and Jason being able to teach Palmer about something he loves to do.
Jason is also not of the old-school mentality that it’s mostly the woman’s job to take care of the child. He will work a long day in the hospital and still come home and give Palmer a bath and put her to bed. He shares in our responsibility equally and respects and honors the fact that I spend the majority of my time with her. He gives me a break when I need it and doesn’t resent me for it. He is an extremely involved parent. I count my lucky stars that he is my husband, and these are all things I’d never have known about him without Palmer.
The chance to work on your marriage. Yes, marriage will inevitably change to some degree when you become a parent. (If you say yours remains unaffected, you are either lying or just very lucky.) Children bring a whole new set of stressful situations and worries. You are tired. You are worn thin. You don’t have much time to yourselves. When it’s just the two of you, you have a lot more freedom and the ability to be spontaneous. Before Palmer, Jason and I would go on at least two dates a week and now we are lucky if we get one every two months, and I can’t tell you the last time we went on a vacation that was just the two of us. We also argue more now that we have a child. Sometimes I feel resentment toward Jason because he still leaves the house and goes to work every day. He gets to be around adults and have conversations while I am at home with a two-year-old. Yes, I know that it is an absolute privilege to even have this ability and I’m grateful for it, but it doesn’t change the fact that sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side. (News flash: You are allowed to love being home with your child while sometimes hating it, too. That’s NORMAL.) Sometimes when Jason comes home, I immediately want to just leave to have some alone time. He allows me to do this, bless his heart. I have my opinions on how things should be done and so does he. Of course, I always think I know best because I birthed Palmer—ha!—but we also respect each other even more now. We try to set a good example for Palmer and if we do have a heated argument, we don’t do it around her. We try to show affection in front of her so she knows her parents love each other. Marriage is work 100 percent, and when you have a child it really shows you what a priority that work needs to be.
There are so many other lessons I’ve learned and things I’ve gained from becoming a mom, and I know with each age and stage, the list will continue to grow. All I can say is that having a baby was the hardest and best decision I ever made. Parenthood shows you this all-encompassing, truly unconditional love that you never knew existed. If you want to go on a spiritual journey, just have a kid. You will grow in more ways than you can imagine, and isn’t that the whole point of life? I mean, if you’re not learning and growing, what are you doing here?
There’s a John Lennon quote I love that says, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” It’s so true, and children make this even clearer. A perfect analogy for this is the time I took Palmer to the Little Gym at five months old. As soon as I sat her down, to my horror, she started licking the floor. Moral of the story is… she lived. So y’all, just feed them and love them and they will be okay.
My sister, Cayce, me, and my mom, 1986.
All photos are courtesy of Cameran Eubanks Wimberly Personal Collection unless otherwise noted
Cayce and me, 1987.
First night out in San Diego with my new Real World roommates.
Real World roommates in Greece.
Me on Lambeau Field for a Green Bay Packers game with the NFL Network.
Me on top of the Seattle Space Needle for a Seattle Seahawks game with my NFL Network crew.
Jason and me on our wedding day.
Photo courtesy of Virgil Bunao
My mom and me on my wedding day.
Photo courtesy of Virgil Bunao
Shep and me at the NBC Upfronts in New York City.
Filming on the Charleston Battery.
On the set of Watch What Happens Live.
The digital pregnancy test that confirmed my suspicion.
First ultrasound of a wee baby P at seven weeks pregnant.
Trying on maternity wear at Target.
Seven-months-pregnant belly.
Eight months pregnant.
Photo courtesy of Kristin Burke
One of our last photos as a family of two.
Photo courtesy of Kristin Burke
Two weeks before I had Palmer, the last time I would get dressed up for a LONG time.
About to check out of the hospital after my failed induction, feeling defeated.
My mother-in-law and mom in the room supporting me, three and a half hours before Palmer was born.
In a daze thirty minutes after having Palmer, wanting to sleep but not wanting to let her go.
First selfie with Palmer! Still hadn’t slept.
Busting out of this joint, baby in tow!
At the hospital the morning after I had Palmer to check her bilirubin. I couldn’t walk, had to be wheeled.
Week before I had Palmer. Week after I had Palmer. Whoever said kids don’t age you is a liar.
Newborn photo shoot with two-week-old Palmer.
Photo courtesy of Bump Meet Baby
One of many breast-milk-stained T-shirts I would have to change during the day.
The breaking point when I knew I just couldn’t breastfeed a day longer. I took this photo because I wanted to remember how I felt.
A sample of the various bottles I tried to get Palmer to take.
Getting the hang. What I woudn’t give to hold her like this again!
New mom chic.
Palmer on her first birthday.
My mom walking Palmer to her first day of school.
My dad and Palmer.
Photo courtesy of Travis Drew
My little ham cracking herself up.
Jason got his fishing buddy!
Palmer and my dad in Edisto Beach, South Carolina.
Jason, Palmer and Elvis.
Palmer, two and a half years old.
Best feeling in the world!
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
One Day You’ll Thank Me has been a labor of love to write. I would like to acknowledge several people who have helped make this book possible.
I would like to thank my husband, Jason, who is the rock in my life. I can’t believe I tricked you into marrying me! Thank you for your unwavering support and love. You mean the world to me and are the best person I know.
To my daughter, Palmer, you are and will always be my sunshine. I am privileged that you chose me to be your mama and I love you with every fiber of my being. Your effervescence puts a smile on my face every day. I can’t wait to see what all you become!
To my parents, thank you for always encouraging me to not be afraid of trying new things. You both have instilled values in me that I will always be grateful for.
To my sister, Cayce, God surely blessed me when he gave me you as a sister. I will always be in awe of your kind heart and open mind. I love you forever and always.
I would also like to acknowledge my team, who have encouraged this book with great enthusiasm. Thank you to Michele Bender for your guidance and warm heart; to Cait Hoyt, my literary agent at CAA, for your push to get me writing; to my manager, Antranig Balian, for always having my back; and to my commercial agent at CAA, Rick Lucas, for opening many doors for me.
Lastly, thank you to Natasha Simons at Gallery Books for making this book a reality and believing in me, and Maggie Lou
ghran for her keen insight, as well as publisher Jennifer Bergstrom, associate publisher Jennifer Long, publicist Michelle Podberezniak, marketing director Abby Zidle, senior production editor Alysha Bullock, art directors Lisa Litwack and John Vairo, and interior designer Jaime Putorti, as well as the whole Gallery team.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CAMERAN EUBANKS WIMBERLY is an alumna of Southern Charm, the hit Bravo reality series. She is also a real estate agent based in Charleston, South Carolina, where she lives with her husband, Jason, and daughter, Palmer.
FOR MORE ON THIS AUTHOR:
SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/Cameran-Eubanks-Wimberly
SimonandSchuster.com
@GalleryBooks
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Copyright © 2021 by Cameran Eubanks
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First Gallery Books hardcover edition February 2021
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Interior design by Jaime Putorti
Jacket design by Emma A. Van Deun
Jacket photography by Chad Griffith
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Eubanks Wimberly, Cameran, author.
Title: One day you’ll thank me : essays on dating, motherhood, and everything in between / Cameran Eubanks Wimberly ; with Michele Bender.
Description: New York : Gallery Books, 2021.
Identifiers: LCCN 2020032090 (print) | LCCN 2020032091 (ebook) | ISBN 9781982150129 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781982150136 (paperback) | ISBN 9781982150143 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Motherhood. | Dating (Social customs)
Classification: LCC HQ759 .E887 2021 (print) | LCC HQ759 (ebook) | DDC 306.874/3—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020032090
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020032091
ISBN 978-1-9821-5012-9
ISBN 978-1-9821-5014-3 (ebook)