Exile to the Stars (The Alarai Chronicles)

by Dale B. Mattheis

  Gaereth and Rengeld sauntered in some time later, followed by Jeff, Zimma and Balko. It was a raw spring day, the room was quite cool, and the vast fire burning on the grate drew everyone close to warm their hands and backsides. It was the first time they had all gathered at the same time, and enthusiastic conversations filled the room.

  While chatting with Ethbar, Jeff frequently glanced at the entryway. “I’m quite concerned about Carl. If he does not arrive soon, I will most certainly drag him here if necessary. He has been so sad of late.” Jeff pursed his lips and frowned worriedly. “I haven’t seen Carl for well over a week. We cannot have this meeting without him.”

  “And we shall not.” Ethbar nodded toward the doorway.

  Jeff turned quickly to see Carl walk in with a stunning blond on his arm. Jeff whistled under his breath. “What a beautiful woman. Way to go, Carl. That explains why I haven’t seen him, but where did she come from?” Jeff did a double take. “It’s Helwin! I didn’t recognize her.”

  She was wearing an ankle-length, light blue gown made of winter weight wool, and had a long cape of darker blue picked out with cream embroidery thrown about her shoulders. Helwin’s blond hair, which trailed down to her waist, had been brushed until it gleamed and was gathered with a pale pink ribbon. Although still quite thin, that only added to the sense of elegance she projected.

  Carl and Helwin stopped just inside the room to look around. Carl appeared flustered and nervous, but Jeff hardly noticed. He had not seen Helwin since their return and could not take his eyes off her. Memories of their winter together rushed to mind. They were so strong that Jeff was carried far south by the impact.

  Helwin was more than nervous and anxiously scanned the room. Her head stopped when she saw Jeff. Electric blue and yellow-green eyes locked together, forming a conduit for the exchange of memories: bitter cold, starvation, death, shared warmth, loving. The room faded from Jeff’s perception as his spirit drank the bitter and the sweet.

  Conversing with Gaereth four or five steps away, Zimma turned as Carl and Helwin entered. So did the rest of those gathered, and conversations trailed off to silence.

  A hand fluttered to Zimma’s throat when she saw the way Jeff and Helwin were looking at each other. Gaereth circled Zimma’s shoulders with an arm, and whispered, “What Jeff and Helwin must be feeling is not to be long endured. I am also deeply concerned for Carl. We must intervene before all three come to harm.”

  One glance at the stark fear in Carl’s expression and Zimma squeezed Gaereth’s arm. “I shall see to Helwin and Carl, will you attend Jeffrey?” Gaereth nodded quickly and hurried off.

  Zimma walked up to Helwin and hugged her. “You are so beautiful, Helwin. Carl is most fortunate.”

  When she broke eye contact with Jeff and realized who was holding her, Helwin’s cheeks turned a soft rose. She did not avoid Zimma’s eyes.

  “Thank you for finding a place for me in your heart.”

  Extracting a square of embroidered linen, Zimma dabbed at the tears in Helwin’s eyes and stepped back. They shared a long look that conveyed volumes.

  “I feel so fortunate that you were with Jeffrey. Thank you for loving him.” Zimma planted a kiss on Carl’s cheek. “I was becoming concerned about your solitary life, Carl. I am so happy for you both.”

  Inserting herself between Helwin and Carl, Zimma led them toward the fireplace and a circle of intense interest. When Helwin had been introduced around, Zimma hurried to be with Jeff.

  Letting out a relieved gust of air, Ethbar muttered, “Thank the gods for Zimma and Gaereth. It was a near thing.” He raised his voice to be heard. “Please attend me. I believe a good beginning would be made by asking Rengeld to relate what occurred after Jeffrey and Helwin left for the south.”

  Everyone hurried to the semicircle of chairs arranged to face the fireplace.

  Placing his back against familiar stonework, Rengeld nodded toward Jeff. “You were not gone many weeks before the siege engines had been rebuilt. Shortly they were relentlessly employed to hurl firepots and stones into the city, for having constructed city walls the Salchek knew them to be proof against such assault.

  “Two times they attacked and were repulsed, moving siege towers first against the south then the west wall. Sorely had they underestimated our ability to man the walls, losing many lives during each attack.

  “However, unbeknownst to us they had constructed a mighty ram protected by thick shields deep in the forest. This they did apply with great vigor to the south gate one moonless night, at the same time moving siege towers and many ladders against the east wall.

  “Time and again they won their way onto Rugen’s battlements only to be thrown back. Yet despite valiant defense they did finally succeed. When their foothold was secure, the Salchek directed large numbers of troops into the city and advanced on the palace, savage resistance notwithstanding. Throughout it all, the ram continued its thunder on the gate and soon its hinges began to weaken.

  “It was then that Lord Carl’s explosives were employed to devastating effect.” Rengeld paused, shaking his head as he remembered. “The ram’s shields were shattered by the first explosion, exposing those handymen left standing to a rain of arrows. Other bombs were hurled to destroy men and machines alike. At the height of Salchek terror, Alemanni warriors descended upon them in main force, called up by the good offices of Lord Gaereth and Gurthwin of Valholm.

  “Falling upon their rear like a lightning bolt, this attack forced the Salchek to abandon their assault on Rugen in order to preserve their lives. When the Alemanni withdrew by design, they left the Salchek Army in ruins. The abject fear inspired by our ally’s wolf companions can only be imagined, for at least four packs engaged the enemy. And so the Salchek’s main thrust was broken, and those who had won entry entirely destroyed.

  The several attempts on this city thereafter were paltry affairs of desperation. Although a modest offensive would have forced an unconditional surrender, I was loath to unnecessarily expend more lives. During quiet moments of reflection I have regretted that decision.”

  Rengeld’s face became grim. “Then the snows came. I am a man of war, but sorely was my soul tried as the Salchek began to struggle among themselves. Soon they were dying by the hundreds from wounds and starvation. As they came to understand that the long-awaited caravan was not to arrive, all order disappeared.

  “Desertion became rampant as winter deepened, yet to what safe haven could they flee? Disease soon marched among them, and many hundreds more died. Unable to endure observing such dishonorable and wretched death, we accepted their pleas and offered succor. Some eight hundreds were all that remained and gratefully accepted.” Rengeld bowed and sat down, his face a study in sadness.

  Carl gave a brief summary of the city’s losses, which amounted to four hundred counting injuries and deaths from stones that were tossed over the walls.

  The mood in the room had become somber. Jeff threw a question at his friend that he thought would break the spell.

  “How did your hospital work out?”

  “Outstanding! I think we must have saved fifty people just from using antiseptic technique. Only had to do two amputations. Those books Gaereth brought really saved the day.” Carl indicated that Gaereth stand and take a bow, which he overdid, leading to a round of laughter and applause.

  Ethbar announced a break for lunch and there was a general rush toward the buffet. Jeff lingered behind until he could speak to Zimma with some privacy. First thing, however, he kissed her with such passion that she blushed and pulled away.

  “Jeffrey! Think of the people!”

  “That’s just too bad, sweetheart,” Jeff said with a big grin. “Thank you for being so loving and thoughtful. Greeting Helwin in such a generous fashion after having been informed of Magda could not have been easy for you.”

  “It was not, Jeffrey,” Zimma replied, looking down at the floor. “You and Helwin have shared so much, had so much more time together than we hav
e. When first I viewed Helwin upon your return, then again while encouraging her to seek out Carl, I thought it likely she had shared her body with you. Helwin’s eyes have now confirmed this and made no apologies.”

  “She is direct.”

  “Which I cherish. Helwin is a woman of great character, much as I know Magda to be. Thus I also understand your loving was not frivolous. Yet it was difficult.” She abruptly looked up and smiled, but tears lurked in the corners of her eyes. “Please, Jeffrey—you must avoid being thrown together with any more such women.” Tears flooded over and she rushed into his arms

  Jeff held Zimma and rubbed her back while she sobbed quietly. “Your part has been hard and long, sweetheart. One of endless waiting.” Jeff gently untangled himself and looked deep into Zimma’s eyes. “Your conclusions are correct—our loving was not frivolous or frequent, rather a coming together to sustain life and hope. But know that rather than risk losing my place in your heart, we will leave this day and journey north. There we will be done with partings, done with war, done with grief. I cannot live without you, Zimma.”

  Zimma’s tears brimmed over again. Throwing herself at Jeff, she crushed her lips to his. When she released him, they had to gasp for air and it was Jeff’s turn to blush. Glancing around the room, he saw that everyone was pointedly not looking at them.

  “Think of the people, Zimma!”

  Brushing away her tears, Zimma took Jeff’s hand and pulled him toward the buffet. “How did you phrase that, Jeffrey? That’s just too bad? Now come, let us take food. Your place in my heart will never be given up, war must be pursued, and of more immediate importance, our appetites attended to.”

  Later, Jeff and Zimma strolled out of doors to help the food and emotions settle. “I need to speak with Helwin before the Telling resumes, Zimma. Will that be all right?”

  “Yes, of course you might. She is a lovely woman and perfectly honest.” Zimma stopped to face Jeff. “It has been our time apart when you were denied to me that has torn at my heart, not Magda and Helwin. I need you, Jeffrey. Need to grow and share with you. I love you so much.”

  They turned around and walked slowly toward Ethbar’s residence. Arm around Zimma’s shoulders, Jeff said, “I have learned so much from the wolves. To them, there is nothing in life that surpasses working for the common good of the pack. They do not even think of themselves as separate entities or assign names. This is all summed up in one phrase: we are one.”

  Zimma nodded and put an arm around his waist.

  When they entered the parlor, Helwin and Carl were conversing in a corner with their heads nearly touching. Zimma murmured to Jeff, “I believe my tears were shared by another if Helwin’s bear testimony.”

  “This has been a wonderful but trying morning,” Jeff commented. “My heart yearns that she and Carl find one another before there are no more tears to cry.”

  Cocking her head as they walked, Zimma observed, “My eyes inform me they have done so, or are well along that way.” Helwin and Carl’s lips met in a soft kiss. “A most promising embrace, Jeffrey.”

  Zimma’s tone was so satisfied that Jeff was still chuckling when they stopped by Carl and Helwin. Helwin smiled at Jeff through her tears.

  “I find that trials of the heart are more fearsome than those of the sword.”

  There was no need to reply. Jeff smiled back and was satisfied to admire her spirit from a new more comfortable perspective. He also wanted to hug Helwin, but was afraid he would hurt Zimma or Carl if he did so. Helwin leaned toward him, then back.

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake!”

  Carl put a hand on their shoulders and shoved Jeff and Helwin together. It felt so good to reaffirm their special love in each other’s arms that Jeff and Helwin stood there with blissful smiles on their faces.

  “What a pair!”

  “Yes, and what a wonderful man you are, Carl Jorgenson. Come here.” Zimma gave Carl a kiss that was no sisterly affair.

  Chairs were starting to fill again, and Jeff released Helwin. Taking her arm and Zimma, Carl’s, they strolled toward the fireplace. Jeff sat down next to Helwin.

  “I want you to give our portion of the Telling.”

  A shot of panic flashed across Helwin’s face. “But Captain, it isn’t my place! I’ll blow the damn thing right out the door!”

  Snapping his head around, Carl stared at Helwin in amazement. “Jeffrey, what have you taught this woman?”

  Jeff grinned but did not divert his attention from Helwin. “Why not? Why isn’t it your place to give the Telling?”

  Panic receded, leaving a stubborn set to Helwin’s mouth. “I have never addressed such a group of people in my life, Jeffrey. It is your honor, you must give the Telling.”

  “I have all the honor one man can tolerate,” Jeff replied with a vigorous shake of his head. “You are an excellent leader, but must learn all of the responsibilities that go along with being one. Besides, I’ve had to give so many Tellings that I need a break. Let’s do it this way. I’ll make a short speech to ease your way. The tale then becomes yours until our return, at which point I have something that must be said. Don’t worry so! How many winter stories have you heard? Is there an end to them? Recall some you admire and add your own words. Piece of cake.”

  Outmaneuvered, her flank turned, Helwin resorted to panic again. She needed to walk it off but Ethbar called the meeting to order. Winter tales! I must recall winter tales! Helwin squeezed Carl’s hand so hard that he winced.

  “Now we must hear what transpired to the south. I say must, for my heart pleads otherwise. This has been a difficult Telling, and I fear that which we are about to hear promises no release.” Ethbar smiled down at Helwin and Jeff, then Carl and Zimma. “What hope I have springs from the love and friendship that has united four people this day—war’s sundering has not prevailed.” Ethbar motioned Jeff forward.

  Walking over to the fireplace, Jeff put chin in hand. “There is no gainsaying that our tale is strewn with terrible loss. Who would argue that war would have it otherwise? Though surrounded by the warmth and comfort of friends, still I feel the cold bitterness that took so many comrades. It must also be said that not all our comrades were human, but wolves and horses as well. Helwin will recount these events, for her part looms large. Lacking her courage we would not have succeeded.”

  Jeff gave Helwin a hand to her feet, and whispered, “You’ll do fine, Lieutenant.” He patted her hand and sat down. Carl stood up and raised Helwin’s hand to his lips.

  “Knock ‘em dead, kid.”

  The insouciant grin on his face banished stage fright. Helwin leaned down to touch lips.

  “Thanks, lover, this is a tough one.”

  There was no need to wait for silence when she arrived at the spot that had become the Station of Telling.

  “My captain has given me this honor, and I will strive to do it justice. My courage notwithstanding, all would have come to naught without his leadership.”

  She stood silent with bowed head for some time, calling those bitter months back from memory’s graveyard. Beginning with the decision to head south, Helwin briefly recounted the forming of the Alemanni First Cavalry. She then led them on the southward journey and their contact with the caravan. As she counted the wains, packhorses, foot soldiers and cavalry, her eyes grew distant. Within minuets she was there again, crouched on top of a hill far to the south.

  Jeff glanced around and noted expressions of amazed consternation at the caravan’s size. Had it won through to Rugen, the siege would not have been broken. As the winter’s running battle unfolded, Zimma put her arm around Jeff’s waist and laid her head on his shoulder. Their march to the forest hit Jeff hard. As Helwin chanted out the deaths of horses and warriors, he started shivering and couldn’t stop until Zimma pulled him against her.

  “…And so we returned through fields of dead to the loving warmth of friends and hope renewed.”

  At the story’s conclusion Carl leaped to his feet and escorted He
lwin to her seat. She wished to be held and they did not sit down at once. Jeff patted her shoulder on the way by.

  “That was a Telling to be proud of.”

  Ethbar had returned to the fireplace but gave way when Jeff approached.

  “I won’t be long, Ethbar.”

  “Take whatever time is required. I perceive that what remains to be said is important.”

  Jeff didn’t reply, but his expression was ineffably sad. Ethbar moved off a few steps and waited with crossed arms. A truth was about to be revealed.

  “A spirit has passed from this world to the next.” Jeff paused and looked at the floor. Not now. Don’t lose it now. “His passing will never be forgotten, for he gifted me with insight and bequeathed a cherished possession in remembrance of failed enmity.”

  Reaching into a pocket, Jeff held up the curved-stem pipe. Extracting the pouch, he dipped the pipe inside and tamped sindar weed into the bowl.

  “He was an enemy, was Lingol Bollit, but I came to understand that he did not hate me. A Salchek officer, he was a man of honor who fulfilled his duty to the death. And yet, though I was the instrument of his death, he did not hate me.”

  Rengeld watched Jeff slowly, somberly, fill the pipe and felt something well up that he thought had been lost forever. A great wave of emotion brought him to his feet and attention. A true comrade at arms had passed on, leaving a hole in the world. An instant later, Helwin joined him.

  Dropping to a knee, Jeff pried a splinter of wood from a log and let it ignite in the fireplace. “We have sung his spirit to rest, we have seen a bright light streak across the heavens, I have breathed smoke from his gomwok to the winds. Lingol Bollit, I salute and thank you for your gift of understanding.” The burning splinter descended to the pipe bowl. As before, Jeff drew deeply and exhaled.

  To Jeff, Helwin and Rengeld, it was as if a door opened and they were in the presence of Lingol Bollit. Distant yet imminent, he bowed, flashed a cocky grin and the door closed with a gentle sigh. Carl knew something had occurred, could feel it, saw the desperate sadness in Helwin as she fought back tears. He glanced at Rengeld and looked again. A large tear rolled down his cheek.