by Trey Parker
“Because, you need help more than I do girl. I know you can’t really afford it, so here,” the girl said.
She was still baffled. “How do you know?! I’m a grown-ass woman. I can take care of myself.”
“Listen! What is your name?”
“Latoya.”
“Ok. Latoya! Either you take this money for the damage or I call the police to report that you rammed me from the back and that my spinal cord hurts like hell, your choice.”
Latoya looked down at the money. She looked up at her. She couldn’t see her eyes through the shades, but her face looked like she meant business. So, she took the money from her hand.
The girl smiled. “See, that wasn’t so hard. In life, if someone offers you an opportunity, you take it. Don’t let your pride get in the way and don’t overthink it.”
Latoya couldn’t say anything. So, she just nodded. She had never seen a girl her age talk to her as if she was a child. The woman was bold, and super confident.
“Thank you. Thanks for this,” Latoya said holding up the money.
“Anytime girl. My job brings me plenty,” she said as she turned and started back to her car.
“Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name?” she asked as she walked behind her.
She turned around and lifted her shades up. “Farren.”
“Thanks, Farren! And you said that your job gives you plenty of money? Are y’all hiring?”
“We’re always hiring. I work at Dreamville.”
“So, you’re a strip…”
“I’m a dancer. Yes,” the girl interrupted.
“Ohhhh ok.”
“But I wasn’t talking about hiring for dancers. We’re hiring for waitresses. And you look good enough to be one. You can make some pretty decent money as a waitress there. Here’s my card. The owner’s name is Biscuit. Give him a call,” she went in her purse and pulled out a card and gave it to Latoya.
“Thanks,” Latoya said as she pulled off.
Latoya looked at the money and counted. It was more than $1,000. Then she looked at the card.
That same week, Latoya set up an interview with the Dreamville owner, Biscuit. They met at Dreamville. Biscuit showed up to the interview 25-minutes late with a huge plate of Jamaican food. The place was empty. They sat at one of the many tables that were in the middle of the floor. Biscuit sat directly across from Latoya as he unwrapped his food and started eating. The loud smacking and slurping that ensued while he devoured his food was a bit much for Latoya, but Biscuit didn’t seem to care. He was a short chubby brown-skinned fellow. He wore a falcons hat turned to the side. He had a commanding voice.
“So, Farren told you about this position huh?”
“Yes, she just said that y’all were hiring.”
“Do you have any serving experience?” asked Biscuit.
“No. Not really.”
“Ok. Well, what I can tell you is that you need to learn the menu like the back of your hand. Take your time and make sure that you get everyone’s order. Make sure it’s right. You’re fine and stuff but that’s not enough. If you want to make some real money here, you need to be all about customer service. You have to work hard.”
“Ok.”
“Also. This is an entertainment club. Guys are coming to be entertained by beautiful women. Beautiful naked women first. Give the dancers their space. Don’t interfere with their business. When can you start?”
“Ummm. As early as possible.”
“Good. I’ll see you on Thursday. Bring a black shirt and some black shorts,” said Biscuit as he continued enjoying his dinner.
1
NAKED HUSTLE
1
NAKED HUSTLE
17. No Twerk Experience
Thursday 11:30 p.m.
Thursday was a handful. Latoya learned a lot on that day, because she was the only waitress that was working. The other two waitresses called off for some odd reason. It was her, the bartenders, and the chef. The only good thing about the day was that she looked cute with her all black leather top and leather shorts.
“What’s your name again?” the man sitting at the table asked as Latoya bent down to take his order.
“Latoya. But you can call me Toy,” she said.
“Ok. Toy. You must be new here. I have never seen you before.”
“Yes. Today is my first day.”
“How long you going to be here? You gone quit like the other waitresses or are you going to stay for awhile?”
“Well. We’ll see.”
“Excuse me! Waitress! Excuse me!” yelled a man to Latoya’s left.
“Yes?”
“When is the food going to come out?! I’ve been waiting for a long-ass time. What, are they backed up or something in the kitchen?”
“They shouldn’t be that much longer.”
“Ok. Tell them to hurry that shit up. Please. And you haven’t brought out the lemons. Remember I said water with lemons.”
“Ok. I’m on it, sorry about that.”
She left table two. Then table four called.
“Ma’me. I said I ordered my burger well-done. This burger is definitely not, well-done. It doesn’t even look like it’s cooked all the way.” The guy holds his burger up. “You see all that red in there, it looks like it’s blood. Does this look well-done to you? You can take this back, I don’t want this,” the man handed her his plate.
“Ok. Sorry about that. I’ll check back in the kitchen,” Latoya walked off with her hands full.
“She ain’t getting no damn tip,” they mumbled as she walked off.
Another table waves their hand…
“So how long have you been working here? I’ve never seen you here before.”
“Because I’m new here.”
“Ok. Well my name is Mark. What’s your name?”
“Toya.”
“Nice to meet you, Toya, I always come to this spot. And you’re the finest waitress I have seen here yet? Where you from?”
“I’m from Pittsburgh.”
“As fine as you are I know you got a boyfriend.”
“I actually don’t but hey I have to get back to work, I’m sorry. We can talk later.”
“Alright, just right your number down when you bring me the receipt. Can you do that for me, gorgeous?” said Mark with a smile.
“I’ll think about it.”
The DJ got on the mic. “Next up we got Red Kisses. One of my favorite dancers! Get ready to experience the sexiest piece of light-skinned ass that you’d ever see! And she’s single fellas so don’t be afraid to shoot your shot. But remember, if you want to make her holler you can’t be scared to throw them dollars!”
Latoya never really looked at the dancers but something told her to look up this time at the stage. Out walked Farren, the girl that she had hit in traffic. Walking slowly with red lingerie on and a red wig. Everybody turned their head to watch. Her body was banging. She strutted across the stage. Dancing seductively. Money started flying in the air like it was a tornado. Then she bent down low and started twerking. Even more money started flying, to the point where Latoya couldn’t even see her anymore. Latoya turned to pick up her customers receipt. She saw that he had given her a 0-dollar tip. Latoya was furious.
The manager, Dara, who works directly over Latoya, calls her over towards the back of the restaurant.
“Latoya. What’s going on? Are you ok?”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not fine, I can see it in your face that you’re not fine. You’re sitting over there daydreaming looking at the dancers and not working. Plus, we had a customer complaining saying that he asked you for some lemons 30 minutes ago and you still haven’t brought them. I’m concerned.”
Latoya snapped. “Concerned about what?! These shitty-ass customers. They are rude and annoying!”
“Latoya. Watch out. Please don’t do this in front of the clients.”
“Fuck these customers, they wouldn’t know good customer
service if it bit them in the ass.”
“Ok. Looks like your work is done. You can leave and don’t come back. I’ll tell Biscuit you quit.”
“That’s fine. I won’t make enough here to deal with demon customers anyway. It won’t be hard to find another server job.”
“Not with that attitude. And I’ll make sure that no other restaurant in Atlanta makes the mistake of hiring you,” Dara said with a smiley face.
The club was closing and everyone was leaving. Depressed and angry, Latoya waited out back to catch Farren as she went to her car.
“Hey, Farren, I wanted to know if you were available to talk for a second.”
“Wait, you look familiar. Where do I know you from?” said Farren walking towards her car.
“Latoya, I was the girl that hit your car. And you gave me the money. You told me to come work here.”
“Oh. Yea! So, you talked with Biscuit and got the job. How was your first day?!”
“It was miserable. The waitress life is not for me.”
“So, what are you going to do then?”
“Ummm. Well that’s what I wanted to talk to you about...”
“Well it’s going to have to wait. Meet me tomorrow at Starbucks at 2 p.m. on Howell Mill Rd. if you’re serious,” she said as she got in the car and closed the door.
Starbucks
Farren walked in looking fabulous. Her hair flew in the wind. She had on shades again with a nice dress that hugged her shape. She was on the phone. She showed up at 2:05.
“Ok. I’m going to call you back. I’m going to call you back, I’m about to have a meeting, bye,” she hung up.
“So, what’s up? Talk to me,” she said taking off her shades.
“First off, thank you for meeting with me, I know you’re super busy.”
“Girl, you’re fine, I’m chilling today, I just don’t like to waste time you know. So, cut to the chase.”
“Well. I wanted to ask you about your career.”
“What about it?”
“Ummm. How long have you been dancing?”
“Two years, since I was 22,” she replied.
“Wow. So, you’re 24? Me too.”
“Good for you,” she said with a fake smirk.
“So, what made you start dancing?”
“I was broke, and I needed money. And I liked dancing,” said Farren.
“Wow. Just that simple huh.”
“What else do you want me to say? Yes, it is that simple. Why are you asking these elementary questions? Tell me what you are looking for. Be upfront.”
Sigh. “Ok. To be honest with you, I am desperate for change in my life. I have been homeless. I’m lost. I just don’t know what to do anymore. It seems like I can’t do shit right. I dropped out of school. I can’t keep a job. Everyone has turned their backs on me. I’m a fuck up. I have no friends or family that fuck with me. Sometimes, I don’t even understand why and how I exist. And I’m broke as fuck.”
“Ok. So, why are you coming to me, the dancer?”
“When I met you, in the weirdest way, I think you were God-sent. I had never seen someone my age so confident, so bold, with such a presence about them. You don’t care what people think about you. You are about your shit. And I just felt like I could learn something from you.”
“Well. Thank you for sharing that. Some people don’t have the guts to express themselves like you just did. But I understand. I was in your shoes before. I actually can see a lot of myself in you. That’s why I gave you the money that day. It’s time for you to stop playing victim. You have a bright future ahead of you. Starting today. I’m going to hold you responsible for that.”
“That’s fine with me. I need all the help I can get it,” Latoya replied.
“See, I was homeless at one point in my life too. I had just moved to Atlanta from Ohio. Lived with my mom who was on crack and my brother who sold it. Dad nowhere to be found. I had to get away from that shitty situation. Shit, At least you went to college. I never stepped foot on a college campus. When I first got here, I found a 9-5 that was paying me minimum wage. Could barely live off that shit. Then I got fired. After that, I told myself that I would never depend on anyone else to take care of me. I was going to do it on my own. The first step towards that was to become a dancer.”
“What did your family and friends say?” asked Latoya.
“I have no friends. I had no family here. But if I did, what could they say? If they aren’t taking care of me themselves and they can’t offer other alternatives, then the hell with them.”
“See, that’s a problem that I have. I always worry about what others will say about me. I used to lie to hide things from people just to fit in.”
“They are going to judge and talk shit regardless. You might as well do good for yourself. I made over $150K last year. You think I care about what other people think? I’m self-made, self-paid. I’m a boss bitch.”
“I’m just scared to try something new, I guess.”
“Latoya, since no one helped me coming on. I’m going to help you. I’m going to help you make money on your own.”
“I appreciate that. I’m looking forward to it.”
Farren was serious. The next day she called Latoya and said that she wanted Latoya to meet her at Dreamville.
They went in through the back entrance. It led her to a small office room where a round guy was sitting down and speaking on the phone.
“You met Biscuit. He's my Boss. And the Owner here.”
"Why do they call him Biscuit?"
"Because he loves dough," she said with a chuckle. "Literally and figuratively. He's fat as hell."
Biscuit finished his conversation.
"Hey Biscuit, you remember Latoya. She’s interested in becoming a dancer."
“Yea, the one that quit on me the other day? Dara told me what happened.”
“She said that serving isn’t for her. She wants to make some real money,” Farren interjected.
“Do a 360 for me, right now,” Biscuit said.
Latoya looked confused and felt violated but she turned anyway.
"Oh yea, you're going to make a lot of money here. Can you start tonight?" asked Biscuit.
"No, I'm not ready," she blurted.
"This is a learn-as-you-go job. Throwing you into the jungle is how you learn how to survive," he said.
"Maybe she can just come as a guest to watch me first, Biscuit, then she'll figure out if this is what she really wants to do,” said Farren.
"I guess. Well be here tonight around 11:00 p.m. Have your pen and pad ready. Take some good notes. Because what you learn here at Dreamville can change your life forever. You can be as rich as you want to be,” said Biscuit playfully spinning around in his chair.
1
NAKED HUSTLE
18. Paid Attention
She got to the club at 11:00 p.m. She looked up at the lights on the building. Dreamville. Where fantasy meets reality. Biscuit told her to just come and shadow a dancer. Similar to like an intern. There was a line so she went straight to the door and saw two big security guards.
"Twenty for women," one of them said.
"I'm here to see Biscuit and Farren. I shouldn't have to pay to come in."
"Alright, hold on." He went inside.
The other security guard looked Latoya up and down.
"You about to work here?" he asked.
"Umm. I don't know, I'm just checking it out. Maybe?"
He laughed. "Checking it out? You'll be dancing by next week."
"Why do you say that?" asked Latoya.
"Because you'll make more money than you've ever dreamed of here. You won’t be able to resist. Just don’t get caught up in this life. It will take a toll on you. Be careful." he shrugged.
The other security guard came back out, and waved for her to come in.
She walked in behind the guard. Different lights flashed in and out. She smelled, perfume, oil, and marijuana smoke. She looked around and sa
w guys locked in on every woman. She followed the guard and he took her to a back room. Then they opened another door and they saw Biscuit counting money with another older woman.
"Ms. Toya, you ready for a quick tour?” said Biscuit not looking up at her.
"I guess,"
“You guess? You better act like you want to be here,” he looked up at her.
“Ok, I’m ready.”
"This is my mama, Rosie," he said pointing to the lady helping him count money.
"So, you the new dancer huh?" Mama Rosie said as she stood up and put both hands on her hips.
"Ummm. I haven't committed to nothing yet," said Latoya.
"You'll like it. See, I take care of all the girls here. I’m like a mother to them. They call me Rosie. I'm part owner here. If you ever have any girl problems that you can't talk to my son about, you come to me,” Rosie said smiling. She had two front gold teeth. She looked like she was about 50-years old.
"Ok. thank you. I will."
"Alright, come with me. This room here is the business room. This is where we count money, we strategize, we create partnerships, this is where we build."
She nodded and then followed Biscuit down a dark hallway then they walked into a dressing room.
"So, this is where you'll be spending most of your time. Girls come here to relax and get dressed of course. They come here to vibe, do makeup. Shit like that.”
A couple of girls where there putting on lotion and oil. They looked Latoya up and down and then continued whatever they were doing.
"Alright, follow me," Biscuit kept walking.
They walked into another small little walkway. Then they went into another room.
"Ok, this is the private room. We call it the Heaven room. If you ever have a client that wants to spend big money, you'll take him here."
The room had small sectioned off areas.
"So, just private dances, right?"
Biscuit turned and pointed at Latoya. "Yep, private dances. But no sex or no shit like that. If girls want to take it further they need to take that shit elsewhere. This ain't the brothel. You get caught doing something like that you won’t ever dance at Dreamville again. I promise you that."