Naked Hustle

by Trey Parker

  Thirty minutes passed and Biscuit came to the back and sat in the chair next to Latoya. He started laughing.

  "You aight?” he said.

  "No, I feel terrible. I'm so bad at this. Why are you laughing?"

  "Yes, around here, we laugh. We don’t take life too seriously. Don't worry. You're good. Shit happens. Stop crying. Here."

  Biscuit grabbed her hand and placed a wad of cash in it.

  "You’re done for the night. I'll see you next Friday," he smiled, then he got up and left.

  "See. Through all the bullshit you have to go through, eventually you'll end up with something to show for it," said Farren.

  "I guess so,” said Latoya as she wiped her face and looked at the money.

  Latoya got home then started counting the money that she had made that night. Counting her money was like therapy, the more she counted, the better she felt. The bills were all in ones. It took her two hours to count it, because she counted it twice to make sure it was right. She counted $823. She felt guilty joy that she hadn’t felt since she was a 14-year-old. The same feeling she had after she succeeded at stealing money and cocaine from horny, perverted, drug dealers when she was a teenager. But her main goal was to redeem herself from her throw up incident. She had something to prove.

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  NAKED HUSTLE

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  NAKED HUSTLE

  20. Conflict of Interest

  January 27th

  Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Beep. Beep. Beep

  Latoya thought those sounds were coming from her dreams. Then she realized it was her phone. She hopped up confused with a slight headache. She looked around and saw neatly stacked money all over her room. She picked up her phone from off her dresser. It was 1:00 p.m. She slept through three alarms and five missed calls, text messages and voicemails all from Lisa. She dreaded calling Lisa back, but she knew that she had to give an explanation.

  “What happen Latoya?! Sara said that you didn’t show up to the meeting,” said Lisa concerned. “I’m so sorry Lisa. I overslept. Is there any way that they can reschedule it?”

  “Overslept? Overslept?! This is unacceptable Latoya. Of course, they are not going to reschedule. You had one chance and you blew it. I stuck my neck out for you and this is how you treat me?! You know how bad this looks on me and you?”

  “Wooooaaaah. Back up, Lisa. First of all, I appreciate all that you’ve done for me. I really do. But at this time, it’s just not the right fit for me. I have something else in the works right now. Something a little more… lucrative,” said Latoya staring at her piles of money.

  “What do you mean right fit?! Latoya you said that this would be the perfect company for you. And more lucrative? Please! You tell me what job that pays you more than $48K in salary with no college degree and is a reputable company like Sephora here in Atlanta?”

  “Sweetheart. In my line of business, I can make 48K in a month.”

  “Your line of business? What are you? A stripper?” asked Lisa.

  “Maybe so. I respect the naked hustle. I don’t have anything against it.”

  “Well I don’t respect the naked hustle. And I do have something against dancing naked for money. And if you want to ruin your career, your reputation, and throw away all of your morals and standards to shake your ass for a couple of bucks, then I can’t help you.”

  “That’s fine. I’m too big to fit into your weak-ass, cookie cutter box that you tried to put me in, anyway! I’m going to prove you and whoever else that doesn’t believe in me wrong. You fake-ass life coach.” Latoya hung up.

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  NAKED HUSTLE

  21. EntrepreNewHer

  “Practice makes perfect,” said Farren every time Latoya fell on her butt. “Get up and try it again.” Farren watched Latoya closely, analyzing what was wrong with her technique. Latoya told Farren that she wanted to get better at dancing on the actual pole. She said she would teach her and she stuck to her word. So, during off days she would go to Latoya’s house and show her moves and also helped her create her own moves. Farren showed Latoya how to slide down it smoothly. She showed her how to twerk from the top of the pole. They practiced doing back flips on the pole. You name it, they practiced it. On their off days they would practice consistently. Latoya was dedicated to being the best entertainer that she could be and Farren was committed to helping her. Farren knew that Latoya was pretty gifted at twerking so occasionally Latoya would be the teacher and she would give Farren pointers.

  “People have finally started requesting me. I guess this practice is paying off,” said Latoya.

  “I told you, be patient, your time is coming. Just keep working. Be the hardest working girl there. When all them other hoes are slacking off, you go harder. Don’t ease up at all. Even when niggas ain’t throwing money or it’s a slow night, you keep dancing like it’s potentially a million dollars in there. Because it just might be. It will get to a point where your business is automated. Your clients are going to be there faithfully, just handing over their paychecks to you,” said Farren.

  “I can’t wait.”

  “After another good session we should reward ourselves by going shopping. What do you think?”

  “Let’s go!”

  “Let’s do Phipps Plaza,” said Farren.

  "Phipps? I can't afford anything in Phipps. I'm not on your level yet," said Latoya.

  "Girl, yes you are. And if you ain’t, you will be! You have to act like you can afford even if you can't. Come on!"

  Phipps Plaza

  They both walked into Saks Fifth together.

  "See we deserve the best of the best. The best clothes, the best everything. You can't ever let anyone catch you slipping on an outfit, the way that you dress your body shows people how you feel about yourself," said Farren.

  While walking through the store, Latoya pointed at some Christian Louboutin that she said looked nice.

  "If you like them, try them on," said Farren.

  "Ok. Still a steep price range but I'll try them."

  She tried them on and she loved how they looked.

  "If only if I can afford these," she said as she checked them out and strutted around the store with them.

  "What size shoe do you wear? Is that the right size?"

  "Yep, they’re a size five."

  Farren then started looking around. A lady came to her assistance.

  "Is there anything that we could help you all with?" said the woman.

  "Yes. Can you get those shoes that she's wearing in a size five, please?"

  Latoya looked at Farren "You wear size five too?"

  "Nope."

  "So, what are you doing? I can't afford these right now, Farren."

  "I know you can't, and that's why I'm buying them for you."

  "Are you serious Farren? Why? You don't have to do this."

  "Toya hush. Yes, I do. It’s a gift from me to you that's all. For working, grinding to be a better dancer day in and day out. Remember, we deserve the best, and if we're going to be together, then we're going to have to look the part."

  Latoya nodded.

  The lady came back with the shoes. “So what kind of work do you all do?”

  “Ummm. We’re entrepreneurs,” Latoya said.

  “Oh. Entrepreneurs. What industry?”

  “We are dancers. We dance for money. Just like my friend said. We’re entrepreneurs, since you want to be so nosey,” snarled Farren.

  “Ok. Just curious,” said the lady with a half-smile as she walked away.

  Farren looked at Latoya, "That nosey bitch just wants to see how we can afford these shoes. See, don’t be afraid to tell people who you are and what you do. Be bold because their story is not your story. Your story is unique to you. It’s unique to your circumstances. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. People look at us as if we're less than them. Like we’re second class citizens. Because our hustle is different from theirs. Because we collect our coins in a different way. They look at us
as if we are at the bottom of the totem pole. But they have it all wrong. Our hustle is authentic. It’s pure. It’s raw. We don’t hide. The naked hustle represents stripping yourself all the way down to your bare body in front everyone and still being confident in knowing who you are."

  "You’re so right. I need to work on being bold in who I am.”

  "That's why I bought these for you. To stunt on all those haters that are going to talk shit about you. They need to know that you're the shit no matter what they say and that you appreciate the free PR when they talk about you behind your back."

  “I appreciate that, I really do. I’m just glad to have found something that I can finally be good at and enjoy,” said Latoya.

  “Let’s not get it confused. You should be in this to help jumpstart your career. This is not the end goal. The end goal is to get out of the game and create an empire.”

  “Empire. I like that. What do you have in mind?”

  “Anything that you can think of! You just have to dream it up. Clothing line. Beauty products. Apps. Real estate. You name it. That’s my goal. To make enough money to get up out of this shit. Not many girls make it out of this lifestyle and are able to make something everlasting. Like a super successful business. Many girls just leave the game, with not much to show for it. Then go live some boring, below average life. Not me. I’m trying to start my own beauty care line. I’m trying to make that shit bigger than L’Oréal. I’m calling it Red Kiss Inc. That’s my ultimate dream. That’s why I hustle.”

  “That’s so cool! I can see you owning your own beauty line. With your face on all the billboards all around the country.”

  “Yep. That’s my story. That’s my ultimate dream and vision for my life. That’s why I pursue the naked hustle. And your job is to find out what yours is too.”

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  NAKED HUSTLE

  22. Celebrity Crushed

  Latoya was getting dressed at home, preparing to go to work. When she received a call from Lisa. She ignored it and continued getting dressed. Then she received a call again. Annoyed, she picked it up to see what Lisa wanted. Although she really didn’t care to ever talk to her again after their last conversation.

  “Yes,” answered Latoya.

  “Hey, Latoya. It’s Lisa. You have a second to talk?”

  “I have a couple of minutes. What’s up?”

  “I was just calling to apologize for the way that I handled the whole Sephora situation. I feel like I was a little harsh with my words.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. You spoke your mind. Its ok to feel how you feel about me and my career choices. Because at the end of the day it’s MY choice. So, it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m going to live my life regardless of how people feel about me.”

  “But, see I spoke out of anger. It wasn’t from my heart. I just felt terrible after it. I’m going to keep praying for you. I respect that your journey may be different from others. I didn’t understand that at the time. So, if there’s anything that I can do for you, let me know. I owe you. You didn’t deserve those words from me. And I just ask for your forgiveness.”

  “Lisa. I appreciate the gesture. And I do forgive you. But like I said. I’m fine. I don’t need any more prayers, favors, none of that. From you, or anyone else right now. You don’t owe me anything. I don’t want you to feel like you do. But I have to go, I’m already running late for work. Goodbye, Lisa.” Latoya hung up the phone. She was on her way out the door to Dreamville. She had a feeling tonight was going to be a great night.

  Dreamville 9:00 p.m.

  Latoya’s shift started at 10 p.m. She had an hour until it was show time. She was in the dressing room hanging out until then. Girls were running around the dressing room in a panic. Like they had lost their minds. Girls putting on extra make-up. They had their best outfits on.

  She stopped one of the girls.

  “What’s going on tonight? Why is everyone panicking?”

  “You didn’t hear?”

  “Hear what?”

  “Lil Fresh is going to be here tonight after his concert at Phillips Arena. He’s definitely going to blow a check today for sure. He said it at his concert.”

  “Lil Fresh! Holy shit! Do you know how much I’m in love with him! I’ve had the biggest crush on him, since 2012. That’s my future husband!”

  “Not if I get to him first!” said the girl with a smirk as she looked Latoya up and down and scurried away. Her face was as serious as a heartbeat. That’s when Latoya realized that there was no way that she would be able to get to him. Not with all the other girls thirsting over him. She knew it would be chaos.

  It was 1:10 a.m. No sign of Lil Fresh. They said the concert had ended almost three hours ago. Still no sign of Lil Fresh. The girls were getting restless. The girls started giving half the effort while dancing. They kept looking at the door hoping that Lil Fresh walked in. This was the most girls that Latoya had ever seen at Dreamville. New faces meant more competition. Everyone came to work that day. Either way, Latoya was dancing just as hard as she ever did. She decided that It was going to be a good money-making night for her regardless of a celebrity coming in or not. Latoya kept working while everyone else waited.

  At approximately 1:35 a.m., a lot of people started walking in from the front door. At least 30 guys. They were escorted by Biscuit and the security guards straight to the VIP booths.

  The DJ then announced. “Oh shit! Guess who just walked in! Lil Fresh and the Rock Solid Music Group! It’s about to be a movie! We got some real ballers in the building! It’s go time ladies!”

  The whole atmosphere in the building changed. All the girls’ eyes shifted towards that VIP booth. Even Latoya. She couldn’t see him at first. Then she spotted him. And just that quick, there were girls over there in the vicinity, waiting to dance for him. She figured she wasn’t quick enough.

  Ten minutes had gone by and she didn’t see any girls in the booth anymore. She was curious. She asked one of the girls that originally ran over to the booth what happened.

  “Girl them niggas ain’t throwing no money. They over there acting like divas. And plus, Biscuit over there trying to make sure that girls don’t bombard them. So, no girls are allowed over there right now. All that money Lil Fresh supposed to have and he ain’t throwing shit,” the girl said shaking her head and walking away.

  The DJ came on the mic. “Black Vanity, you up next.”

  It was her turn to get on stage. She was ready. At this point it was just a walk in the park to her now. It was second nature. Latoya got on the stage and she let the music take over her body. She moved to the beat, twerking, thinking about her dreams and nothing else. She projected herself to her bedroom, dancing in the mirror five years ago. Being free from judgement and criticism. She looked over to Lil Fresh, and they locked eyes for a quick second. She had to look away immediately because she almost lost her rhythm. She had to get back into her zone.

  After her segment was over, she picked up her money and began to walk down the stairs. Before she could get to the bottom, Biscuit came and grabbed her arm.

  “Come with me,” he said. She followed him. She followed him right to VIP. The entourage of guys parted like the Red Sea as Biscuit and Toya walked through. They stopped right in front of Lil Fresh.

  “At your request, I got her for you. Black Vanity, meet, Lil fresh. Lil Fresh, Vanity,” said Biscuit, introducing them.

  Lil Fresh nodded at her and then turned to Biscuit. “You always look out for me Biscuit. That’s why I come here. You always show love,” he gave him a handshake.

  “That’s what I’m here for. Y’all enjoy,” said Biscuit as he walked away and winked at her. She played it off. Like she wasn’t really excited to be with him but she was star struck. She had never smelled a cologne as good as his. It was strong and sweet. He had on a pretty basic outfit. A hoodie, with jeans and black and gold Balenciaga shoes. Both his chain and his watch diamonds were glistening and shining like she had never seen befor
e. He looked better in person than he did on television. Low clean haircut. He usually has golds in on TV but he didn’t today. He had the prettiest teeth. They were white and straight.

  “So, Black Vanity. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. See, everyone told me that there was this dancer here that was new and that was a must see. So, I came here just to see you.”

  “Oh, so you’re trying to make me blush. Please don’t do that. I already can’t believe you’re in front of me right now. I love your music! You’re my favorite artist.”

  “Oh really. I appreciate that,” he then reached into his hoodie, pocket and pulled out the biggest stack of money in rubber bands she had ever seen. He had no idea that Latoya would probably dance for him for free if he wanted her to. But a little compensation wouldn’t hurt.

  “How much do you love my music?”

  “I’ll just have to show you,” she said. She started dancing slowly in front of him.

  After dancing for him for a couple songs she didn’t realize how much money was on the floor. Piles, on top of piles of money. There was so much money on the floor that she imagined making a snow angel in it. They had ordered bottles on top of bottles. Money was constantly falling from the air. Making it rain was an understatement. It was like a scene from a movie. It was actually fun to her. Bouncing, shaking, jiggling, all for someone that she admired so much that she still had trouble believing that he was in her midst. What a night.

  All the girls’ eyes kept migrating her way. She could tell that they were envious. At 2:15 a.m., Lil Fresh motioned for her to bend down so he could whisper in her ear.

  “I’m about to head out. But check this out, I don’t want this night to end. Can you meet me at my place?”

  “Ummm. I don’t know. What’s going to be there?”