Naked Hustle

by Trey Parker

  “No, you let her in,” Latoya said folding her arms.

  “Ughhhh.” He hopped up. Butt naked. He looked around the room for his shorts. He slipped on his shorts and shirt and sluggishly walked to the door.

  Latoya gathered her panties and bra, and hurried to the bathroom. Closed the door and locked it. She didn’t want any problems. She sat on the floor and held her ear to the door.

  Manny opened the hotel door but blocked the entrance with his body. “What do you want, Dominique?!” said Manny.

  “So, you can’t answer the phone?” said Dominique.

  “I was sleeping.”

  “No, you weren’t. You were fucking that stripper bitch. You don’t have to lie,” said Dominique.

  “Why you talking so loud?! Lower your voice.”

  “No! I want that stripper bitch to hear me. I know she’s hiding in the bathroom,” said Dominique trying to look around Manny and into the room.

  “Why you come in here with all that Dominique? That stripper bitch has a name. Don’t be disrespectful. Watch your mouth around my son. And why would you bring him here. You and I are done. So, there’s no reason for you to be here right now. Stay out of my business.”

  “You’re right. I brought your son to remind you that you had one and that you need to act like it. I’m just trying to look out for you. Remember I was here before all of this fame and glory. You want to fuck all these hoes since you got drafted to the NFL like you’re untouchable. You’re not thinking about the fact that you’re a brand now and that you need to be careful. You might mess around and catch an STD or get a chick knocked up. These chicks just want your money, they don’t want your stupid ass. I hope your dumb ass wrapped it up.”

  “Get out of here with that shit before I call security on your ass. I’m a grown-ass man. I can handle my own. I’ll come get my son later on. Bye!”

  Manny slammed the door.

  Latoya heard footsteps to the bathroom.

  “She’s gone. You can come out now.”

  Latoya opened the bathroom door.

  “I’m sorry about that. She’s just jealous. She wants me to be with her so bad. Every single time she sees me with another chick she gets jealous and insecure.”

  Latoya started looking for all of her belongings around the room.

  “I have to go.”

  “Go. Go where? Your flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow.”

  “Go home. Back to Atlanta. This was a mistake. I made a huge mistake.”

  “Look. I know I should’ve told you about my baby mama. I’ll admit I should’ve said something. Let’s go get breakfast somewhere. Let me make it up to you.”

  “No. Stop it. I’m going home. It has nothing to do with you. The only reason I came up here was because I was bored and horny and you were cute. I have a man. He’s just locked up. If he found out what I did, he would probably kill me and you.”

  “Oh shit. Damn. It’s like that?”

  Latoya looked up at Manny, “Yes. It’s like that. And tell your paranoid-ass baby mama that I don’t want your money I have my own. Between me and my man, we probably have enough money to be part owner of a NFL team. I’m good.”

  Latoya bought the next one-way flight back to Atlanta that afternoon. She couldn’t wait until the next day.

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  34. Connect. Calls. Collects.

  Hartsfield Jackson Airport

  Latoya landed in Atlanta, and as soon as her phone was taken off airplane mode, she had three missed calls from Pat and two missed calls from an unidentified number. And two text messages from Poison and Pat asking for her whereabouts. She was terrified. She just knew that they had somehow found out about Manny. She thought of every excuse in the world. She made up different lies in her head. She was trembling while getting off the plane. She knew she had to respond immediately. So, she called Pat.

  “Where the hell were you? We’ve been blowing your phone up all day!” exclaimed Pat.

  “Relax. Sheesh. I was on a flight. Is everything ok?”

  “Flight where? You didn’t tell anyone you were flying out!”

  “Detroit. And since when did I have to tell everyone of my whereabouts?”

  “Since you became the first lady of BWS! And either Taq, myself, or Poison need to know your whereabouts. You need protection at all times. You have to treat your position like the first lady of the United States! You don’t know how many haters have their eyes on you and are ready to strike at any time. Especially since Taq is locked up. And what the hell were you doing in Detroit?”

  “I got booked for a club appearance up there. Damn! I understand y’all want to protect me but I don’t like to live in fear. You don’t have to have security up my ass 24/7. That’s annoying. I’ll talk to Taq about it. But yes, I’ll do a better job of communicating next time,” Latoya was relieved that they knew nothing about Manny.

  “Good, Taq wants you to call him. Long story short, our production has to halt. The whole business is going to have to stop until Taq gets out. We may have to move some money around again so your monthly income is going to have to stop temporarily. All of ours will. We just have to be patient until things settle down. I’m sure you’ve been saving your money so you should be good for awhile.”

  “Huh. Saving? To be completely honest. No, I haven’t. I was getting so much money, I thought It would never stop. I don’t have much saved at all.”

  “What?! You can’t be serious right now! Taq never spoke to you about this?! Rule number one, with BWS, save as much as you can! Because you never know when your income stream will dry up. You have to be ready for the rainy days. It’s not how much you make, it’s how much you keep! There’s a reason why we’re called the Black Wall Street Mafia. We’re not like any other drug organization, don’t let the luxurious lifestyle fool you, we make very wise financial decisions. We’ve got tons of money stashed away and that’s why we can live the way we do.”

  “I know. I know. He did tell me but it went in one ear and out the other. So, what am I supposed to do now? I’m not going back to stripping. I ain’t going back to being broke.”

  “Come on. By now you know what you have to do Mrs. BWS, whatever it takes. That’s our motto and it will never change.”

  Latoya’s phone was ringing. It was Taq.

  “Hello,” she answered.

  “Where were you?” asked Taq.

  “I had a club appearance in Detroit, so I flew up there really quick,” Latoya lied.

  “Ok. You have to let us know where you’re at. It can get dangerous since I’m in here.”

  “I know. I’ll keep y’all updated. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. I miss you so much!”

  “Baby, remember I said that in order for us to make our relationship last, we have to stick together and hold each other down no matter what?” said Taq.

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Well, I need for you to stick to your word and show me that you were serious. Follow my lead.”

  “I promised you that I will and I’m sticking to it. But it’s tough. I’m trying though. What else do you need from me?”

  “I just need you to understand that business is going to have to halt until I can get back in the streets. So that means that money is tight.”

  “Pat told me. I’m not going back to dancing that’s for sure. I haven’t danced in over a year!”

  “I’d rather you not dance but do whatever you have to do. Innovate, think outside the box, you’re a smart girl. Just be the queen that I believe you are and hold down the throne until I get home.”

  “I got you. Whatever it takes. Any idea on when you’re coming home though?”

  “I’m not sure how long. I can’t tell you the time. But everything is under control. We just have to make sacrifices that’s all, to get where we want to be.”

  “Shit baby! I got you but damn I miss you! I’ll stay strong though.”


  “I’ll be out before you know it. And I promise you, that I am not going back to jail, this is it! I’ve been in this place too many times! I am done!”

  “Pinky promise!?”

  “Pinky promise!”

  Latoya had full faith in Taq. He’s the smartest person that she’d ever met. She knew he’d finesse his way out of prison soon. And that’s exactly why she was determined to stick by him.

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  35. Ebony Envy

  Latoya made a phone call to Dreamville. Biscuits mom, Rosie, answered. “Hey Rosie! Can you put me on the schedule, I’m coming to work tonight?”

  “Black Vanity? Is this you?”

  “Yes, it’s me.”

  “Girl, I thought you would never see this place again. What brought you back?”

  “You know how things get sometimes. Money gets tight, and you have to go back to the drawing board. Just for a little while.”

  “I understand. But listen up, between me and you. Be careful, around here,” said Rosie almost at a whisper.

  “What do you mean Rosie?”

  “Just be careful. Jealousy is a strong emotion. Word around town is that you stole Farren’s man.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “That’s what people are saying. But let’s face it, you came here and stole the show, created a name for yourself and became more successful than everybody else. That’s the real reason why they’re jealous.”

  “They can be jealous all they want. I’m just coming to get my money and leave anyway. I don’t have to speak to anyone.”

  “If you say so. I’ll put you on the schedule,” said Rosie.

  That was the plan. To get her money and go. She pulled up to Dreamville and was shocked. She saw fliers everywhere with her name and picture saying that she would be returning that night. It made her happy because that meant she would be able to make some money. She had almost forgotten that she was so popular. She got to the dressing room and saw some new faces but most were girls that were there before. It seemed like all the girls couldn’t believe she was there. She was famous in their eyes.

  Although the hype was real, the night was rough. Latoya felt like it was her first night dancing. She felt uncomfortable being naked since she hadn’t danced in over a year. She was timid. She was rusty. She felt people noticing her struggle. She barely got naked, she barely danced, and when she did, the money that was thrown was pennies compared to what she was used to. She hated it. She was ready to leave so that she could go home and cry herself to sleep.

  After work, she was getting dressed to head out. Farren, India, and one other girl walked in.

  “We haven’t seen you at work in awhile. Money must’ve dried out since Taq been locked up,” said Farren.

  “Money is never dry. I just came to get extra spending money that’s all. You can never have enough money. And I have my own money,” said Latoya.

  “Really? I taught you everything you know girl. You can’t fool me. You bought that pink Lambo with your own money too, huh?” she said.

  “That’s none of your business. Maybe, maybe not.”

  “You must have some good cooch for Taq to buy you that shit,” said India one of the other girls.

  “Watch your mouth. That’s my man you talking about. My man can buy me whatever he wants. Y’all just mad cuz he didn’t want y’all broke-ass hoes. And he never will.”

  “Baby girl, don’t get your panties all in a bunch, Taq is community dick. You ain’t the first one to smash, him and you definitely won’t be the last,” said India.

  “All I know is he ain’t going to want to fuck you.” said Latoya.

  Annoyed by the back and forth, Latoya ended the conversation and began walking to her car. She was right up to it. Suddenly she heard footsteps, then she felt a sharp pain upside her head. She went flying to the ground. “Talk slick now bitch!” said Farren. She felt multiple kicks and punches as she fell to the ground. Blows to her head and her ribs mostly. She had a flashback, back to that one time she got jumped in the bathroom when she was in grade school.

  “I’m about to stab this bitch!” One of the girls pulled a knife out of purse and tried to stab her, but Latoya saw it and caught her arm midway, holding it with all her might.

  Skiiiiirrrrrttttttt! The screeching sound of tires scrubbing the ground of the graveled parking lot interrupted the scuffle. The smell of rubber burned from the tires of a car that swerve up so close that Latoya thought she was going to be ran over. She couldn’t see but it startled the girls. The car door swings open.

  “Back the fuck up, Farren. Get off her!” yells Poison as he jumps out the car with a pistol pointed at the girls.

  The girls all put their hands up and backed up.

  “Oh shit. So, you gone shoot me now, Poison? After all of what we’ve been through. You took my 25K and gave it to her, now you want to save her?”

  “That’s the first lady of BWS. You know Taq is going to fuck you up once he hears about this,” said Poison.

  “Taq isn’t going to do shit from behind bars until his name is clean. Plus, Taq knows who the real queen is. I taught this bitch everything that she knows. She’s just a fake, wanna be me.”

  “Get in your car, Toy. I’m going to follow you to make sure you get home safe,” said Poison with his gun and eyes still pointed at the girls.

  “And Latoya, this ain’t over. Next time Poison won’t be here to save you. I’ll see you again. Your face is dead in these streets,” said Farren.

  Latoya managed to get up and head to her car. She closed the door. The girls looked at her in anger, upset that they didn’t get her like they wanted too.

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  36. Kiss of Death

  Taq’s Estate

  Latoya was crying in the bathroom and looking in the mirror. She had a cut on her eyebrow and it was swollen. Poison came in with a rag, some ice, and some peroxide.

  “Stop crying. Everything will be alright,” Poison said.

  “How did you know I was there?”

  “It’s not hard to find you.”

  “Damn. You just be following me around without me knowing. That’s borderline stalking. I don’t know how I feel about that.”

  “My job is to protect you, Toy. No matter what. I would do whatever it takes.”

  “Well sometimes I need my space. I’m a grown woman, I can hold my own.”

  “Just like tonight, right? When Farren and her crew almost sliced you up and kicked your face in?”

  “Shut up. Put this peroxide on my eye,” Latoya motioned him over.

  Poison came close and used a Q-tip to put the peroxide on the cut above her eye. It burned slightly. All of a sudden, he grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her on the lips. She pushed him off immediately.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Have you lost your mind?!” said Latoya wiping her mouth.

  “I’m sorry! My bad! I got carried away!” said Poison, embarrassed.

  “Are you trying to die?!”

  “Listen Toy! I’m sorry! I have a confession. Since I first laid eyes on you, when Farren introduced me to you that one time at Dreamville, I’d been obsessed with you. I’ve been wanting to do that for the longest. I’ve been in love with you.”

  “So what? You know better! Why in the hell would you disrespect Taq like that?!”

  “And I would ask you the same question about your dick trip to Detroit. Why would you disrespect Taq like that?”

  Latoya was shocked. “What are you talking about?”

  “Come on Latoya. Don’t play dumb. Remember, I am your guardian. I get paid to protect you and know where you are at all times. I know everything. I know what happened between you and Manny Davis.”

  “Are you trying to blackmail me?”

  “Why would I do that? I’ll admit that I was jealous. But, I respect you as a woman. You made the decision. Only I know, Pa
t knows nothing. If Pat knew he would definitely tell Taq. He has more loyalty to Taq then he does to you.”

  “Ok. I understand that. And I appreciate you keeping that to yourself. So, is that why you tried to kiss me? Because I cheated on Taq?”

  “That’s the only reason why I tried to kiss you. I could see that you were lonely and you needed someone. I could sense you hurting inside. Because, in all honesty, I’m the opposite to Pat. I have more loyalty to you then I do Taq. Plus, who knows when he will ever get out of prison. He’s could get 20 – life. I respect Taq. I love Taq. That’s my boss, I’d kill for him. I have killed for him. But I’d die for you. I’m in love with you Latoya.”

  Latoya put her hand on Poison’s shoulder and looked him in the eye. “Poison, I appreciate everything you have done for me. I love you as a friend, however we cannot be lovers. I am in love with Taq. I love my life, and I know you love your life as well. How about we forget this ever happened. You keep your little secret about my trip to Detroit and I’ll keep our little baby kiss to myself. I won’t tell Taq. Plus, I’ll find you a woman 10-times better than me. Deal?”

  He smiled. “Deal, only if you give me a kiss back,”

  “Ugh,” said Latoya smacking her teeth. She grabbed Poison’s face and gave him a peck on the lips. “Happy now?” she said

  Poison smiled.

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  37. Favor for a Felon

  Taq’s Estate

  Latoya was chilling on the couch watching TV when she got a call from Grandma Betsy. She hadn’t talked to her in a while. She hoped that Grandma Betsy had not found out about her dancing career.

  “Hey Grandma! I haven’t heard from you in a minute. What’s up?”

  “Hey Latoya. All is well. I’m sure you’ve heard the news.”

  “What news?”