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Poems 1960-2000

Page 8

by Fleur Adcock


  I shall be correcting the proofs of my novel

  (third in a trilogy – simultaneous publication

  in four continents); and my latest play

  will be in production at the Aldwych

  starring Glenda Jackson and Paul Scofield

  with Olivier brilliant in a minor part.

  I shall probably have finished my translations

  of Persian creation myths and the Pre-Socratics

  (drawing new parallels) and be ready to start

  on Lucretius. But first I’ll take a break

  at the chess championships in Manila –

  on present form, I’m fairly likely to win.

  And poems? Yes, there will certainly be poems:

  they sing in my head, they tingle along my nerves.

  It is all magnificently about to begin.

  Our Trip to the Federation

  We went to Malaya for an afternoon,

  driving over the long dull roads

  in Bill’s Toyota, the two boys in the back.

  It was rubber plantations mostly

  and villages like all Asian villages,

  brown with dust and wood, bright with marketing.

  Before we had to turn back we stopped

  at a Chinese roadside cemetery

  and visited among the long grass

  the complicated coloured graves,

  patchwork semi-circles of painted stone:

  one mustn’t set a foot on the wrong bit.

  Across the road were rubber trees again

  and a kampong behind: we looked in

  at thatched houses, flowering shrubs, melons,

  unusual speckled poultry, and the usual

  beautiful children. We observed

  how the bark was slashed for rubber-tapping.

  Does it sound like a geography lesson

  or a dream? Rubber-seeds are mottled,

  smooth, like nuts. I picked up three

  and have smuggled them absent-mindedly

  in and out of several countries.

  Shall I plant them and see what grows?

  Mr Morrison

  Goslings dive in the lake,

  leaves dazzle on the trees;

  on the warm grass two ducks are parked neatly

  together like a pair of shoes.

  A coot plays beaks with its chick;

  children laugh and exclaim.

  Mr Morrison saunters past, smiling at them,

  humming a Sunday-school hymn.

  He wonders about his mood,

  irredeemably content:

  he should worry more about poverty, oppression,

  injustice; but he can’t, he can’t.

  He is not too callous to care

  but is satisfied in his work,

  well-fed, well-housed, tolerably married,

  and enjoying a walk in the park.

  Then the sun sticks in the sky,

  the tune sticks in his throat,

  a burning hand with razors for fingernails

  reaches inside his coat

  and hotly claws at his heart.

  He stands very quiet and still,

  seeing if he dares to breathe just a fraction;

  sweating; afraid he’ll fall.

  With stiff little wooden steps

  he edges his way to a bench

  and lowers his body with its secret fiery

  tenant down, inch by inch.

  He orders himself to be calm:

  no doubt it will soon pass.

  He resolves to smoke less, watch his cholesterol,

  walk more, use the car less.

  And it passes: he is released,

  the stabbing fingers depart.

  Tentatively at first, then easily,

  he fills his lungs without hurt.

  He is safe; and he is absolved:

  it was not just pain, after all;

  it enrolled him among the sufferers, allotted him

  a stake in the world’s ill.

  Doors open inside his head;

  once again he begins to hum:

  he’s been granted one small occasion for worry

  and the promise of more to come.

  Things

  There are worse things than having behaved foolishly in public.

  There are worse things than these miniature betrayals,

  committed or endured or suspected; there are worse things

  than not being able to sleep for thinking about them.

  It is 5 a.m. All the worse things come stalking in

  and stand icily about the bed looking worse and worse and worse.

  A Way Out

  The other option’s to become a bird.

  That’s kindly done, to guess from how they sing,

  decently independent of the word

  as we are not; and how they use the air

  to sail as we might soaring on a swing

  higher and higher; but the rope’s not there,

  it’s free fall upward, out into the sky;

  or if the arc veer downward, then it’s planned:

  a bird can loiter, skimming just as high

  as lets him supervise the hazel copse,

  the turnip field, the orchard, and then land

  on just the twig he’s chosen. Down he drops

  to feed, if so it be: a pretty killer,

  a keen-eyed stomach weighted like a dart.

  He feels no pity for the caterpillar,

  that moistly munching hoop of innocent green.

  It is such tender lapses twist the heart.

  A bird’s heart is a tight little red bean,

  untwistable. His beak is made of bone,

  his feet apparently of stainless wire;

  his coat’s impermeable; his nest’s his own.

  The clogging multiplicity of things

  amongst which other creatures, battling, tire

  can be evaded by a pair of wings.

  The point is, most of it occurs below,

  earthed at the levels of the grovelling wood

  and gritty buildings. Up’s the way to go.

  If it’s escapist, if it’s like a dream

  the dream’s prolonged until it ends for good.

  I see no disadvantage in the scheme.

  Prelude

  Is it the long dry grass that is so erotic,

  waving about us with hair-fine fronds of straw,

  with feathery flourishes of seed, inviting us

  to cling together, fall, roll into it

  blind and gasping, smothered by stalks and hair,

  pollen and each other’s tongues on our hot faces?

  Then imagine if the summer rain were to come,

  heavy drops hissing through the warm air,

  a sluice on our wet bodies, plastering us

  with strands of delicious grass; a hum in our ears.

  We walk a yard apart, talking

  of literature and of botany.

  We have known each other, remotely, for nineteen years.

  Accidental

  We awakened facing each other

  across the white counterpane.

  I prefer to be alone in the mornings.

  The waiter offered us

  melon, papaya, orange juice or fresh raspberries.

  We did not discuss it.

  All those years of looking but not touching:

  at most a kiss in a taxi.

  And now this accident,

  this blind unstoppable robot walk

  into a conspiracy of our bodies.

  Had we ruined the whole thing?

  The waiter waited:

  it was his business to appear composed.

  Perhaps we should make it ours also?

  We moved an inch or two closer together.

  Our toes touched. We looked. We had decided.

  Papaya then; and coffee and rolls. Of course.

  A Message

  Discreet, not cryptic. I write to you from the gar
den

  in tawny, provoking August; summer is just

  on the turn. The lawn is hayseeds and grassy dust.

  There are brilliant yellow daisies, though, and fuchsia

  (you’ll know why) and that mauve and silvery-grey

  creeper under the apple tree where we lay.

  There have been storms. The apples are few, but heavy,

  heavy. And where blossom was, the tree

  surges with bright pink flowers – the sweet pea

  has taken it over again. Things operate

  oddly here. Remember how I found

  the buddleia dead, and cut it back to the ground?

  That was in April. Now it’s ten feet high:

  thick straight branches – they’ve never been so strong –

  leaves like a new species, half a yard long,

  and spikes of flowers, airily late for their season

  but gigantic. A mutation, is it? Well,

  summers to come will test it. Let time tell.

  Gardens are rife with sermon-fodder. I delve

  among blossoming accidents for their designs

  but make no statement. Read between these lines.

  Proposal for a Survey

  Another poem about a Norfolk church,

  a neolithic circle, Hadrian’s Wall?

  Histories and prehistories: indexes

  and bibliographies can’t list them all.

  A map of Poets’ England from the air

  could show not only who and when but where.

  Aerial photogrammetry’s the thing,

  using some form of infra-red technique.

  Stones that have been so fervently described

  surely retain some heat. They needn’t speak:

  the cunning camera ranging in its flight

  will chart their higher temperatures as light.

  We’ll see the favoured regions all lit up –

  the Thames a fiery vein, Cornwall a glow,

  Tintagel like an incandescent stud,

  most of East Anglia sparkling like Heathrow;

  and Shropshire luminous among the best,

  with Offa’s Dyke in diamonds to the west.

  The Lake District will be itself a lake

  of patchy brilliance poured along the vales,

  with somewhat lesser splashes to the east

  across Northumbria and the Yorkshire dales.

  Cities and churches, villages and lanes,

  will gleam in sparks and streaks and radiant stains.

  The lens, of course, will not discriminate

  between the venerable and the new;

  Stonehenge and Avebury may catch the eye

  but Liverpool will have its aura too.

  As well as Canterbury there’ll be Leeds

  and Hull criss-crossed with nets of glittering beads.

  Nor will the cool machine be influenced

  by literary fashion to reject

  any on grounds of quality or taste:

  intensity is all it will detect,

  mapping in light, for better or for worse,

  whatever has been written of in verse.

  The dreariness of eighteenth-century odes

  will not disqualify a crag, a park,

  a country residence; nor will the rant

  of satirists leave London in the dark.

  All will shine forth. But limits there must be:

  borders will not be crossed, nor will the sea.

  Let Scotland, Wales and Ireland chart themselves,

  as they’d prefer. For us, there’s just one doubt:

  that medieval England may be dimmed

  by age, and all that’s earlier blotted out.

  X-rays might help. But surely ardent rhyme

  will, as it’s always claimed, outshine mere time?

  By its own power the influence will rise

  from sites and settlements deep underground

  of those who sang about them while they stood.

  Pale phosphorescent glimmers will be found

  of epics chanted to pre-Roman tunes

  and poems in, instead of about, runes.

  Fairy-tale

  This is a story. Dear Clive

  (a name unmet among my acquaintance)

  you landed on my island: Mauritius

  I’ll call it – it was not unlike.

  The Governor came to meet your plane.

  I stood on the grass by the summerhouse.

  It was dark, I think. And next morning

  we walked in the ripples of the sea

  watching the green and purple creatures

  flashing in and out of the waves

  about our ankles. Seabirds, were they?

  Or air-fishes, a flying shoal

  of sea-parrots, finned and feathered?

  Even they were less of a marvel,

  pretty things, than that you’d returned

  after a year and such distraction

  to walk with me on the splashy strand.

  At the Creative Writing Course

  Slightly frightened of the bullocks

  as we walk into their mud towards them

  she arms herself by naming them for me:

  ‘Friesian, Aberdeen, Devon, South Devon…’

  A mixed herd. I was nervous too,

  but no longer. ‘Devon, Friesian, Aberdeen…’

  the light young voice chants at them

  faster as the long heavy heads

  lift and lurch towards us. And pause,

  turn away to let us pass. I am learning

  to show confidence before large cattle.

  She is learning to be a poet.

  Endings

  The Ex-Queen Among the Astronomers

  They serve revolving saucer eyes,

  dishes of stars; they wait upon

  huge lenses hung aloft to frame

  the slow procession of the skies.

  They calculate, adjust, record,

  watch transits, measure distances.

  They carry pocket telescopes

  to spy through when they walk abroad.

  Spectra possess their eyes; they face

  upwards, alert for meteorites,

  cherishing little glassy worlds:

  receptacles for outer space.

  But she, exile, expelled, ex-queen,

  swishes among the men of science

  waiting for cloudy skies, for nights

  when constellations can’t be seen.

  She wears the rings he let her keep;

  she walks as she was taught to walk

  for his approval, years ago.

  His bitter features taunt her sleep.

  And so when these have laid aside

  their telescopes, when lids are closed

  between machine and sky, she seeks

  terrestrial bodies to bestride.

  She plucks this one or that among

  the astronomers, and is become

  his canopy, his occultation;

  she sucks at earlobe, penis, tongue

  mouthing the tubes of flesh; her hair

  crackles, her eyes are comet-sparks.

  She brings the distant briefly close

  above his dreamy abstract stare

  Off the Track

  Our busy springtime has corrupted

  into a green indolence of summer,

  static, swollen, invisibly devoured.

  Too many leaves have grown between us.

  Almost without choosing I have turned

  from wherever we were towards this thicket

  It is not the refuge I had hoped for.

  Walking away from you I walk

  into a trailing mist of caterpillars:

  they swing at my face, tinily suspended,

  half-blinding; and my hands are smudged

  with a syrup of crushed aphids.

  You must be miles away by now

  in open country, climbing steadily,

  head down, looking
for larks’ eggs.

  Beaux Yeux

  Arranging for my due ration of terror

  involves me in such lunacies

  as recently demanding to be shown

  the broad blue ovals of your eyes.

  Yes: quite as alarming as you’d promised,

  those lapidary iris discs

  level in your dark small face.

  Still, for an hour or two I held them

  until you laughed, replaced your tinted glasses,

  switched accents once again

  and went away, looking faintly uncertain

  in the sunlight (but in charge, no doubt of it)

  and leaving me this round baby sparrow

  modelled in feather-coloured clay,

  a small snug handful; hardly apt

  unless in being cooler than a pebble.

  Send-off

  Half an hour before my flight was called

  he walked across the airport bar towards me

  carrying what was left of our future

  together: two drinks on a tray.

  In Focus

  Inside my closed eyelids, printed out

  from some dying braincell as I awakened,

  was this close-up of granular earthy dust,

  fragments of chaff and grit, a triangular

  splinter of glass, a rusty metal washer

  on rough concrete under a wooden step.

  Not a memory. But the caption told me

  I was at Grange Farm, seven years old,

  in the back yard, kneeling outside the shed

 

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