by Ramona Gray
Peter waved his hand at me, “Okay, okay, don’t get snippy with me. Listen, if you want some help with your problem, the missus knows a few single ladies at work. She sure as hell would love to set you up with one of them. She says she’s real sweet and won’t care that you haven’t -”
“You told Barb?” I glared at Peter. “Thanks a lot.”
Peter just shrugged. “I tell her everything. Besides, she thought it was kind of sweet that a man your age hasn’t -”
“I gotta go.” I walked away before Peter could finish his sentence, my shame and anger buzzing in my gut like an enraged swarm of bees.
Chapter Three
Mia
I checked the entire bay area of the fire station before climbing the steps leading upstairs to the living quarters. I glanced at my watch. It was twenty to eight, and I was a little surprised that Elijah wasn’t waiting for me outside of the station for his ride to the repair shop.
As I crested the stairs, I could hear the loud voices of the other firefighters and smell the tantalizing scent of cooking bacon. I scanned the dining area of the living quarters. There were four men sitting at the table, but no Elijah. They didn’t notice me and were digging into the food in front of them as they talked.
I froze on the top step, my hand gripping the rail, when one of them said. “Hey, how long has Elijah been dating that Mia chick?”
I couldn’t see his face, but I recognized the voice. He was the guy from the gym yesterday, Chuck or Buck or something like that.
The three other men fell dead silent, and Chuck/Buck said, “What?”
“Mia the paramedic?” One of the men said.
“I dunno. She’s curvy, got dark hair and great tits,” Chuck/Buck said. “She was at the gym with Elijah yesterday. Are they serious?”
Another man burst into laughter before nudging the man sitting beside him. “You think Elijah finally got laid?”
“Shit, no. Not by her, anyway. She’s too fucking hot for his ugly mug.”
My skin prickled, and I could feel anger seeping into me on Elijah’s behalf. My hand clenched down on the railing when Chuck/Buck said, “Wait, so they’re not dating?”
“No, Buck.” The man dipped his toast into the pool of egg yolk on his plate. “They’re not dating. They’re just friends, work out at the gym together.”
“You sure?” Buck asked. “He was giving me the eye like she belonged to him.”
“Trust me,” the man said, “they’re not.”
“Hey, we need to confirm that, Rudy,” the other man said. “I had last month in the pool. Elijah and Mia have been hanging out for like a month now, and if Elijah’s been laid, then I want to collect the fucking prize money.
“Enough, Frank.” The third man, who’d been silent the entire time, finally looked up from his plate. “It ain’t no one’s business.”
“Oh, c’mon, Peter. Everyone else knows, thanks to Charlie. Why shouldn’t Buck know?”
“Know what?” Buck stopped eating and gave the guy named Frank a curious look.
“Elijah’s a virgin,” Frank said with a certain amount of glee.
My mouth dropped open and if I hadn’t still been clinging to the handrail, I would have fallen down the damn stairs. Elijah was a…virgin?
“You’re fucking kidding me,” Buck said. He stared at each man before shaking his head. “No, you’re pulling my fucking leg.”
“We aren’t,” Frank said. “Elijah’s never been laid. Never had his dick in a pussy.”
“Frank, knock it off,” Peter growled.
“What? It’s true. Unless he’s been playing hide the bishop with that Mia chick. In which case, I want my goddamn prize money.”
“There’s no way he’s a virgin. He’s gotta be what? Twenty-five?” Buck said.
“At least. I think he’s actually closer to thirty,” Rudy replied. “But he’s a virgin.”
“How do you know?” Buck asked. “Sure as shit, he isn’t telling everyone.”
“He and Charlie used to be best friends. Until Charlie got drunk at the summer barbeque and told all of us about Elijah being a virgin. I guess Elijah told him a few months before that. See,” Rudy leaned forward and snagged the ketchup bottle off the table, “Elijah ain’t the best-looking guy, right? I mean, he’s jacked as shit now and could probably fucking lift a car if he had to, but apparently, he used to be a fat kid. So, he was fat and ugly. Plus, his parents were these ultra-strict religious freaks, and he went to an all-boys school when he was a teenager.”
“Holy shit,” Buck said. “It’s the perfect non-fucking storm.”
Both Rudy and Frank roared laughter, but nausea was swirling and dipping in my belly. Elijah and I hadn’t been friends very long, but I’d noticed how close-mouthed he was about his childhood and his parents.
Frank nudged Rudy’s arm. “You think Mia’s giving Elijah a ride to pound-town every night? Because I could seriously use that prize money.”
“What prize money?” Buck asked.
“Some of us,” Frank glanced at Peter who had pushed his plate away and was giving all of them a disgusted look, “have a bet on when Elijah’s cherry finally gets popped. I picked a date last month and if Mia has popped his cherry, then I fucking win.”
“She hasn’t,” Rudy said. “Elijah would be a lot happier if he was getting pussy on the regular.”
“He does seem pretty intense,” Buck said.
“Wouldn’t you be if you never had sex?” Rudy said. “Especially if he’s hanging out with Mia and not fucking her. I was thinking about asking her out myself, just for a chance to titty-fuck her. You’ve seen her tits, right? If Elijah’s hanging out with her and not banging her, then that guy’s balls must be bluer than a fucking Smurf.”
“Enough,” Peter said. “Don’t talk about the ladies that way, ya little punk. It’s no goddamn wonder you’re fucking single. Hell, I’m surprised you’re not a damn virgin just like Elijah is.”
I backed down a step. My face was hot, and my heart was racing like I’d just ran a marathon. I shouldn’t have been listening to them talk about stuff that wasn’t any of my business. I swung around, ready to bolt back down to the bay area. My breath wheezed out of me in a low groan when I saw Elijah standing on the steps below me.
From the look on his face, and the way his big hands were squeezing the handrails, he had heard everything. We stared silently at each other for a moment, before I whispered, “Elijah, I didn’t -”
He turned and walked down the stairs without saying a word. Feeling sick to my stomach, I hurried after him, catching up to him just as he was walking out of the station.
“Elijah, wait!” I placed my hand on his arm, wincing when he tore his arm free. “Please, I’m sorry. Please, just wait, would you?”
He paused on the sidewalk, staring grimly at his feet.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I was just looking for you and…”
I had no fucking idea what to say. Despite my shame at eavesdropping, I was intensely curious to know if what they had said was true. But asking Elijah if he actually was a virgin was a terrible idea.
“Elijah, please say something,” I said.
“I gotta go get my car.”
He started off down the sidewalk again and I scrambled after him. “My car’s back there.”
“I’ll walk.”
“What? No, you can’t. Jack’s repair shop is on the other side of town.”
“It’s fine.”
“Elijah, please.” I hesitated before resting my hand on his forearm. “Let me give you a ride.”
His face went even redder and mine turned an unholy shade of tomato as well. “I mean, let me drive you to the repair shop. Please.”
He sighed and, without looking at me, said, “Yeah, fine.”
I dropped my hand from his arm, inwardly sighing with relief when he trudged after me to my car. We climbed into the car and I drove away from the station. After only a few seconds of silence, I said, “I’
m very sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” He refused to look at me.
“I do. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I thought you would be upstairs and I -”
“I was at my locker,” he said.
“Oh.” I stopped at a red light. The tension was thick, and I could almost feel the shame coming off of Elijah in slow waves. The light turned green and I stepped on the gas. We drove silently, me giving Elijah small glances every few minutes, Elijah staring studiously out the passenger window.
I wanted to say something, needed to say something, and my curiosity was almost overwhelming. As we turned onto the street leading to the repair shop, I said, “It doesn’t matter, you know.”
When he didn’t reply, I hurried on, “It’s kind of, uh, cool that you’re still a virgin. Really. Lots of women would think it’s sweet.”
His face turned even redder and his hands clenched into fists as he shook his head.
Shit. Had the others been lying to Buck? It made sense. Men were always doing stupid hazing shit. Jesus, why had I even for a second believed them?
“They were lying,” I said. “God, what dicks.” I laughed nervously as I pulled into the repair shop. “Sorry for believing them. I should have known they -”
“It’s not a lie,” Elijah suddenly blurted.
I put the car into park and cleared my throat. “Oh. Well, that’s cool.”
He suddenly swung his head toward me, and I was nearly scorched by the blazing fury in his gaze. “That’s cool? You think it’s cool that I was so fat and ugly as a teenager that no girl would look twice at me? That my parents were religious nutjobs who taught me that sex is wrong and a sin? That I’m nothing more than a lonely freak who can’t find a girl? That sounds cool to you, Mia?”
“No,” I whispered.
He glared at me before yanking open the door handle. “Thanks for the ride to the shop.”
He climbed out of the car and slammed the door so hard, my car rocked a little. I watched him walk stiff-legged and with his back ramrod straight, into the repair shop before rubbing at my forehead.
Well, fuck. I’d just ruined my friendship with Elijah.
* * *
“Nope, I don’t believe it.” Isabelle paced back and forth in my small living room later that night. I had called her for an emergency best friend’s meeting as soon as I was finished my work shift. Like a true friend, she had dropped everything and joined me at my apartment. “It’s not possible in this day and age for a man his age to be a virgin. I don’t care how unattractive he is.”
I glared at her from my spot on the couch. “Elijah is not unattractive! Besides, he told me himself that it was true, Isabelle. Elijah’s a virgin.”
Isabelle dropped into the armchair and took a sip of her wine. “That’s messed up.”
“Why?” I said. “Who cares if he’s had sex or not? It doesn’t change who he is.”
“I know,” Isabelle said. “I’m just really…surprised, you know? Also, I feel bad for the dude.”
I sighed and took my own sip of wine. “I feel bad for him too. Not because he’s a virgin, but because he obviously had a fucked-up childhood and it’s really affected him.”
“Well, you know what you have to do, right?” Isabelle said.
I gave her a blank look and she wiggled her eyebrows at me. “You gotta pop Elijah’s cherry.”
“Are you crazy? Did you not hear the part where I said I ruined my friendship with Elijah? The guy will never speak to me again.”
“He will,” Isabelle said. “Especially if you volunteer to participate in sexy times with him.”
“We’re friends, Isabelle. Or were,” I said morosely.
“It’s called friends with benefits, Mia,” Isabelle said.
“I can’t – I mean… that isn’t something I do.”
“Why not?” Isabelle asked. “Weren’t you just telling me that you missed sex? Here’s your chance to get some and help a friend out. He said he was lonely. He obviously wants a girlfriend, but he doesn’t have a clue what to do in the bedroom department which, at his age, makes him look weird and awkward as shit. If you teach him about sex, it’ll help him find a girlfriend. Right? You want to be a good friend to him, what better way than helping him get laid and find a girl?”
“Elijah doesn’t want my help with sex or finding a girlfriend,” I said.
“Oh, please. He’s a virgin, and what guy wouldn’t want no-strings-attached sex? Jesus, Mia, stop being so naïve.”
I scowled at my best friend. “A guy has to be attracted to a woman to have sex with her.”
“Elijah is attracted to you,” Isabelle said. “That night at the bar -”
“You were drunk, Isabelle.”
“I know what I saw,” Isabelle replied stubbornly. “Listen, what do you have to lose by offering to help Elijah out with his problem?”
“His friendship?”
“You said you’ve already lost that,” Isabelle pointed out.
“Fuck,” I muttered.
Isabelle leaned forward. “Look, you obviously don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, but isn’t there some small part of you that wants to show Elijah how fantastic sex can be? I mean, if I wasn’t ridiculously in love with Knox, I would totally volunteer to teach Elijah how to sex.”
“Isabelle!”
“What? I’m just being honest. It’s a win-win situation, Mia. Elijah loses his v-card, and you get a huge ego boost when he worships you like the sex goddess you are.”
I shook my head. “You’re nuts. Besides, maybe the whole traumatic childhood isn’t the only reason Elijah is still a virgin. Maybe he just wants to wait until he’s married.”
“Only one way to find out.” Isabelle took another gulp of wine. “Like I said, there’s no harm in asking.”
I stared into my wine glass. I hated to admit it, but there was a part of me that thought Isabelle’s suggestion made perfect sense. Elijah was my friend and if being a virgin wasn’t a choice, I would be helping him out, right?
Not to mention getting your own itch scratched.
Yeah, there was that. I’d be lying if I tried to tell myself that every single thought about Elijah had been strictly PG. In fact, in the last couple of weeks, it had become increasingly more difficult to concentrate on lifting when I was at the gym with him. Watching him work out had started making me feel things that definitely weren’t based in friendship. Elijah wasn’t interested in me as more than a friend – if he was, wouldn’t he have asked me out or made a move by now? – but I’d seen him checking out my tits occasionally.
Despite my protests to Isabelle, I know that he was at least somewhat attracted to me. And if he wasn’t and rejected my suggestion of friends with benefits? Well, it wouldn’t be the first time a guy turned me down, right? If I could survive Matt’s rejection, I could survive Elijah’s.
“Mia? What are you thinking over there?”
I sighed and lifted my head to stare at Isabelle. “That I’m gonna volunteer to pop Elijah’s cherry and help him find a girlfriend.”
Isabelle let out a screech of excitement and raised her wine glass in salute. “That’s my girl.”
Chapter Four
Elijah
I knew it was Mia knocking on my door. From my living room window, I’d seen her car pull up on the street, watched her walk down the sidewalk to the front door. But like a little kid not allowed to open the door to strangers, I stood in the hallway, my heart beating too fast and my face burning hot as she knocked repeatedly.
What was she doing here? It had been three days since she’d discovered my biggest secret and after how I’d reacted, after what I’d said to her, I knew she would never speak to me again. She hadn’t texted or called me once and I couldn’t bring myself to text her, not even to apologize. What was the point? I believed Mia wanted nothing to do with me anymore and I couldn’t blame her for it. I was an asshole, plain and simple.
Except, here she was, knocking
on my door.
“Elijah?” Her low voice drifted through the closed door. “I know you’re home. Please let me in. I want to apologize in person.”
Apologize? What did she have to apologize for?
“Please,” she said again and this time I could hear the break in her voice. She sounded near tears and my immediate horror at upsetting her, had me hauling ass down the hallway and yanking open the door.
She blinked at me. “Um, hi.”
“Hey.”
“Can I come in?”
I hesitated, and she gave me a pleading look, her dark brown eyes shiny with unshed tears. “Please, Elijah?”
I stepped back, and she walked through the door. We’d been friends long enough that Mia had been to my place before – although I’d never been to hers – and she took off her jacket and hung it in the closet before giving me a nervous look and walking toward the kitchen.
I trailed after her, my face still hot and my stomach as jumpy as a frog on meth. When we were in the kitchen, she gave me another nervous smile. “I’m sorry about Tuesday morning. I shouldn’t have -”
“You don’t have to say sorry,” I said. “I’m the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn’t have yelled or said what I did.”
“You didn’t yell,” she replied.
“I did,” I said.
She just shook her head and gave me a small smile. “Can we both just agree that we handled the situation badly and leave it at that?”
“Sure.” My relief that Mia still wanted to be my friend was stupidly high. High enough to ignore the fact that she knew just how pathetic I was now. I tried to ignore the shame twining its way through my body. I couldn’t do anything about the fact that she knew, and my shame wasn’t enough to make me stop being friends with her. I loved her too much.
She was still giving me a weirdly nervous look and I said, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly. She crossed her arms over her torso, and I kept my gaze firmly on her face. I didn’t need to look to know that her t-shirt was snug across those amazing tits. Didn’t need to look to know that her jeans were tight, that her milky skin looked as soft and touchable as ever.