by Ramona Gray
My cock was already starting to harden, and I immediately sat down at the table to hide my stiffy. Fuck, my control around her was getting worse and worse.
Yeah, well maybe if you fucking masturbated occasionally, it wouldn’t be so difficult to keep your dick under control.
My face flushed hot again and I must have looked sick to my stomach because Mia sat down next to me and touched my forearm. “Elijah? Are you all right? You look like you’re going to vomit.”
“I’m fine,” I muttered. “Just…I’m fine.”
“Okay.” She gave me a doubtful look before clearing her throat. “There was something else I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What’s that?” I asked, thankful for the distraction.
She took a deep breath, another flicker of nervousness crossing her face, “I want to help you find a girlfriend.”
My jaw dropped, and I stared silently at her as she chewed on her bottom lip before saying, “You’re lonely, you said, right? Well, I can help you find someone.”
Some of my shock was wearing off, and disappointment and anger were starting to sink in. Mia, the woman I was in love with, wanted to help me find a girlfriend. She didn’t want to be my girlfriend, of course she fucking didn’t, but she was willing to help the poor lonely virgin find a woman to bang.
“No,” I said.
“Don’t say no right away,” she replied. “Just think about it and -”
“I said no, Mia,” I snapped.
She scowled at me. “Don’t be angry with me. I want to help you.”
“I don’t need your help,” I said.
“You haven’t had a girlfriend since you moved here. I can find you a nice girl, someone who doesn’t care that…”
My face went bright red. “Doesn’t care about what? That I’m a virgin? Yeah, because there’s so many to choose from.”
“My nana’s church has a lot of nice women who -”
Fear skittered down my spine at just the mention of church. “No! I’m not interested in a woman who goes to church.”
“Okay,” she said. “Well, there are plenty of -”
“Are you insane?” I said. “Is that it, Mia?”
“Of course not,” she said.
“You must be. It’s the only explanation.”
Her scowl got deeper. “Don’t be a dick, Elijah. I’m not insane. I want to help my friend find a girlfriend. What’s wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong with that? You know I can’t have a girlfriend, Mia!”
“Why not?”
“Look at me! I’m almost thirty years old and a virgin. I’m ugly, and I barely even know how to talk to women. Even if I could convince a woman to sleep with me, I wouldn’t know what the hell to do with her! I’ve never even fucking kissed a woman in my entire goddamn life!”
I stopped, my breath roaring in and out of my lungs and my pulse thudding heavily. I waited dully for Mia to just get up and leave. It was the second time I’d lost my temper around her in less than a week. Instead of leaving, she reached out and squeezed my forearm.
“You’re not ugly. Don’t ever say that to me again or I’ll punch you right in the dick,” she said.
I gaped at her and she shrugged. “I’ll do it, I swear. Do you want to test me on that?”
“No,” I said.
“Wise idea.” She squeezed my forearm again. “I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to answer me honestly, okay?”
I nodded, and she said, “Are you a virgin because you’re waiting until you’re married?”
“No,” I said shortly.
“Okay. Do you know what a friends with benefits relationship is, Elijah?”
“Yeah.” I had no idea where she was going with this.
“Well,” she hesitated and took a deep breath, “we could have a friends with benefits relationship.”
This time my mouth dropped open so far that I was certain you could drive a fucking train into it. She sat patiently as I processed her statement. After what felt like an eternity, I croaked, “What?”
“Your concerns about your lack of experience at your age are valid,” she said. “I want to help you find a woman and it’ll go much smoother and easier if you’re not a virgin. We’ll have sex, I’ll teach you some stuff about pleasing a woman, and then we’ll find you a girlfriend. What do you think?”
“I…what?”
She smiled at me and patted my arm. “I know it’s a lot to think about and I’ll give you some time to consider it. I know I don’t have the perfect body or a super model face, but I know what I’m doing in the bedroom. I can help you get comfortable with sex, I promise. But if you’re not interested, that’s perfectly fine. I won’t be insulted or get upset. Don’t feel any pressure to say yes. You’re my friend and I want to help you, but I definitely don’t want you doing something you’re not comfortable with. All right?”
I nodded dumbly, and she squeezed my arm for a third time before standing. “Okay, good. I’ll, um, leave now and give you some time. Take as much time as you need. Just text me when you’ve made your decision.”
She hesitated and then leaned down and pressed a light kiss against my cheek. “Bye, Elijah.”
She started toward the doorway and I swallowed hard, the dry click in my throat sounding excruciatingly loud in my head. “Yes.”
She turned to stare at me. “Yes?”
I nodded, my head screaming at me and my dick already rising with excitement. What the fuck was I doing?
We’re getting laid, my inner voice crowed. Finally!
“You sure?” Mia asked.
I nodded again, not trusting myself to speak. My dick was a throbbing bar of steel, and I was extremely thankful the table hid my lap. I was going to sleep with Mia. I was going to be in Mia’s pussy. There was an almost painful cramp of pleasure in my belly and for one heart stopping moment, I thought I’d cum right there at the kitchen table.
After a moment, I realized my dick was still steel-hard and while I probably had a fucking wet spot on my jeans from the precum streaming out of it, I hadn’t actually cum.
I waited for Mia to ask me if I was sure again, but instead she smiled and said. “Good. Come over to my place tonight for dinner around six.”
“Okay.” My voice didn’t sound anything close to normal. “Should I, uh, buy some condoms?”
My face went a fiery shade of red and I wanted to punch myself in the face for sounding so pathetic and eager. Of course I needed to buy condoms. Why would I even ask that? Mia wouldn’t let me fuck her bareback.
Mia shook her head. “I have some. But I’m on the pill and I can show you my medical records, so we can have sex without condoms if you want. Totally up to you.”
“Without,” I said.
She grinned a little. “Shocker. Okay, I’m gonna go. I’ll see you at six, all right? Park in the visitor parking.”
“All right.”
I should have walked her to the door, but I couldn’t. Not just because I was afraid I had a wet spot on my crotch, but because even sitting, my legs felt dismayingly weak and trembly.
“Bye, Elijah.”
“Bye, Mia.”
She walked out of the kitchen and I continued to stare blankly at the table after I heard the front door close. I was going to have sex with Mia. After tonight I would finally know what it was like to fuck a woman.
Sinner! Fornicator! Sex before marriage is a sin. You’ll burn in hell, Elijah.
Their voices crowded into my head, making me feel guilty and sick at the same time. I shook my head and tried to shut them down before they became overwhelming. There was nothing wrong with having sex with the woman I loved. I wouldn’t let them ruin this for me. They’d ruined almost everything, I wouldn’t let them destroy my chance to have one perfect night with the perfect woman.
Perfect night? Dude, you’ll be lucky if you don’t embarrass yourself by cumming the second she touches you.
I winced, but my inner voice had
a point. Maybe jacking off a couple of times before I went over there would be a good idea.
Dirty boy! Sinner!
Hating the power they still had over me, but not able to break it, I slumped in my chair and kept my hands away from my dick. I couldn’t masturbate, not today. The occasional time I gave in to the temptation to touch myself, I spent days afterward feeling sick to my stomach and guilty as hell. If I masturbated now, it would ruin my night with Mia. I would just have to hope she understood when I came like a fucking firehose the minute she touched me.
Chapter Five
Elijah
I’d barely knocked on Mia’s apartment door when she opened it and smiled at me. “Hi, Elijah. Come in.”
I lurched forward, my throat already dry and my stomach in knots. Mia was wearing a green dress that hugged her tits and stopped about mid-thigh. I stared at her pale smooth legs, pictured them wrapped around my hips and lost the little ability I had left to think rationally.
My urge to just pick her up and carry her to her bedroom was so intense, I had to shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans to stop from doing it. God, I wanted her so bad. I had no idea how I’d even be able to eat dinner. All I could think about, the only thing I could think about since the moment Mia left my house earlier today, was fucking her.
“Come into the kitchen, okay?” Mia took my jacket and hung it on the coat rack. I took off my boots and followed her into the kitchen. It smelled good, but I barely noticed the delicious scent of food. I couldn’t stop staring at the curve of Mia’s neck and the smooth skin of her upper chest. Soon, I would be touching her skin. Touching her and kissing her and –
You don’t know how to kiss, remember?
My inner voice had been going back and forth between elation and terror all goddamn day. One minute it was over the moon about having sex and the next it was listing all the ways I was gonna fuck it up. It was enough to drive a man crazy.
“Elijah?”
“Sorry, what?” I rasped.
“I asked if you got my email with my medical records?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I did.”
“Okay. Good. Do you want something to drink?”
I shook my head. Even the thought of drinking made my stomach churn. Shit, I’d never get through dinner. I couldn’t eat a fucking thing. How could I eat when I was this close to having exactly what I’d been dreaming of for the last two years?
Not exactly what you wanted, my inner voice was quick to remind me. Mia isn’t in love with you. Don’t go thinking she is.
“I know you’re in love with Matt. Why are you doing this?” I suddenly blurted. I wanted to kick myself in the nuts, but I needed to know.
Mia gave me a startled look. “I’m not in love with Matt. Who said I was?”
“People talk,” I said.
She sighed and shook her head. “Stupid small town. I used to be in love with Matt, now I’m not.”
“That isn’t how love works,” I said.
“I guess it does with me,” she replied.
“I don’t believe that.”
She sighed again and my curiosity about the embarrassment on her face was answered when she said, “I told Matt how I felt, and he didn’t feel the same way. That was over a month ago and I’ve moved on.”
I didn’t quite believe her, but I didn’t push her on it. Maybe sleeping with me was her way of making Matt jealous. I should have hated myself for being so willing to sleep with a woman who was most likely in love with another man, but apparently my pride had taken a backseat to my lust. “So, why are you doing this?” I asked again.
“Well, you’re my friend and I want to help you find someone and be happy. That’s my main reason. But I’m not going to lie and say that’s the only reason,” Mia said.
My heart was pounding so loudly, I could barely hear Mia’s soft voice. “What do you mean?”
“It’s been a while since I’ve had sex and I miss it,” she said.
I hated that my laugh was bitter. “Seriously? If you’re looking for good sex, you’re barking up the wrong tree, Mia. I don’t know what I’m doing, remember?”
“I remember,” she said. “But you’re a smart guy and I’m a good teacher. You’ll learn quickly.”
“What if I don’t?” I said. “I don’t even know how to kiss for Christ sake. I kissed a girl once when I was in seventh grade.”
“Wait, you said earlier that you’d never kissed a girl.” Mia gave me a teasing grin. “Next you’ll be confessing that you’ve done some heavy petting. Are you sure you’re even a virgin, Mr. Thomson?”
“I’m sure,” I muttered.
The smile fell from her face. “I’m sorry, Elijah. I was only teasing but I shouldn’t have -”
“It’s fine. I’m just…this feels weird.”
“If you’ve changed your mind, you can tell me,” Mia said earnestly. “You know that, right? In fact, if you change your mind at any point while we’re in bed together, just say something and I’ll stop right away.”
“Jesus, it feels like I’m in an after-school special,” I said.
She burst into laughter, and my anxiety eased enough for me to take my first deep breath since Mia had offered to teach me how to fuck.
“It kind of does.” She giggled. “I’d suggest you give me a safe word, but with how tense you are, I’m afraid even thinking you need a safe word might make you run.”
I gave her a half-smile before my gaze dropped to her tits again. Soon, I’d see what they looked like. She’d let me touch them and -
“Elijah?”
I looked up to see Mia smiling knowingly at me. I blushed immediately. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I don’t mind.” She smiled again before pointing to one of the kitchen chairs. “Have a seat, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” I dropped into the chair, surreptitiously smelling my pits when Mia turned away to the oven. I had showered right before I came over, but I was so fucking nervous, I was getting sweaty as hell.
Mia opened the oven and brought out a roasting pan. She set it on the stove and lifted off the lid. The smell of roast beef intensified, but despite not eating at all today, I didn’t feel a lick of hunger. How could I when I was about to be inside Mia? When I was about to see her pussy, feel her soft skin against mine?
“Okay, well the roast is done and so are the potatoes. I just need to make the gravy and steam the vegetables and we can eat. Sound good?”
“Yeah,” I said, even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat a thing.
Mia studied me for a moment before shutting off the oven and putting the lid back on the roasting pan. She moved the pot of potatoes to the back burner and stuck the vegetables back in the fridge before moving toward me. She held out her hand. “C’mon, Elijah.”
“What – where are we going?”
“To my bedroom.”
I peeled my tongue off the roof of my mouth and gave her a look ripe with panic. “Uh, what?”
She gave me a sweet smile. “At this moment, you want sex more than food. Don’t you?”
“I, um…”
“Be honest, Elijah.”
“Yes,” I said. “I want sex more.”
“Then let’s go have sex. We can eat dinner after we’re done.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting.”
She arched her eyebrow at me. “I’m fairly confident that’s a big fat lie. Come on, big guy.”
She took my hand and tugged on it. Feeling numb and disconnected from my body, I followed her down the hallway to her bedroom. It was on the smaller side, but I barely noticed. I couldn’t stop staring at her bed. Soon, I’d be on that bed with Mia.
“You okay?” She asked.
“Yeah.”
“It’s okay to be nervous. You know that, right?”
I nodded, and she squeezed my hand. “Still want to do this?”
“Yes.” Even I could hear the excitement in my voice.
Mia smiled, a brief look
of relief flickering across her face. “Good. Me too.”
“Should I, uh, get undressed?” I asked.
“How about we start with teaching you to kiss?” Mia said.
I blushed furiously at my eagerness and nodded. “Right, yeah, okay. Sorry.”
“Again, you don’t have to be sorry. But,” she gave me another sweet smile, “we have all night so don’t worry about rushing anything.”
I wanted to take my time, especially since I was pretty sure Mia wasn’t interested in more than one night of teaching me how to fuck, so making the experience last as long as possible was my goddamn goal. Only, my throbbing cock had other plans and I was still one hundred percent certain I would go off like a bottle rocket, the second I was inside of Mia’s pussy.
“Come sit on the bed,” Mia said.
I froze and stared wide-eyed at the bed as Mia made an encouraging sound and tugged on my hand. “C’mon, Elijah.”
I followed her to the bed and sat down next to her when Mia patted the mattress. She moved closer, until her thigh was pressing against mine and her shoulder was touching my arm. My cock hardened but if she noticed the bulge in my jeans, she didn’t say anything.
“So, the key to good kissing is starting off slow,” she said. ‘You don’t want to be shoving your tongue into the woman’s mouth immediately. Make sense?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Good.”
I jerked all over when her soft hand slid around my neck and she tugged lightly. “Time for your first lesson, Elijah.”
I bent my head until my mouth was just above Mia’s. When she pressed her mouth against mine, I made a low groan.
“Remember, soft and slow,” she said as she pressed feather-light kisses against my mouth. “You try.”
I kissed her gently, brushing my mouth across hers a few times before pulling back a little.
“Okay?” I said.
Her eyelids fluttered open and she smiled at me. “Perfect.”
I dipped my head and kissed her again, twitching when her lips parted, and the tip of her tongue brushed across my mouth.
“Open your mouth,” she breathed.