‘But there was no talk of a wedding—was there, Stephen? Let’s face it, it was the last thing you wanted. Anyway, did you tell your mother,’ she demanded, ‘about me?’
He’d been staring at the ground as she’d delivered her broadside about weddings, but he looked up now and his gaze met hers. ‘Actually, Gemma, yes, I did,’ he said softly.
For a moment she was speechless, but she was saved from having to struggle to find anything more to say by Daisy, who came across to them at that moment and ordered Stephen to come and help her with her sandcastles.
Somehow Gemma got through lunch without any further awkward questions either from her mother or from Stephen. He stayed until late afternoon, seemingly quite content to sit there in the peace of the garden just watching or playing with Daisy until the little girl went off for her afternoon nap and then simply relaxing with the two women. At last, however, with a reluctant sigh he stood up. ‘I must be going,’ he said.
‘Do you have to?’ asked Jill.
‘Yes, I do,’ he replied. ‘I have things to do and I’ve taken up quite enough of your Sunday as it is. It’s been great though. It was so kind of you to ask me. It was lovely to be able to relax with a family again.’
‘Well, it’s been a pleasure to have you,’ said Jill. ‘You must come again.’ She glanced at Gemma as she spoke.
‘I’ll see you out.’ Gemma stood up and together she and Stephen made their way through the house to the front door. ‘Looks like you scored a hit with my daughter and my mother,’ she said wryly as she opened the door.
He stopped and looked at her. He was standing so close that she could smell the scent of the aftershave he used. Beneath that, the essence of Stephen himself stirred her senses as it revived buried memories. It had been a heady, difficult and emotional afternoon and Gemma wasn’t certain she could cope with any more at that moment.
‘Gemma.’ His voice was low barely more than a husky whisper. Lifting his hand, he tilted her chin so that he could look into her eyes. ‘Gemma…’
‘Stephen…’ Suddenly she was battling with almost overwhelming feelings, a mixture of longing and frustration.
‘When?’ he murmured.
She hesitated. ‘I’ll ask Mum if she’ll babysit,’ she said.
It was obvious he wanted more but at the same time he appeared to understand that at least for the time being that would have to suffice. With a sigh he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Stepping back, he ran his knuckles gently down her cheek. ‘Don’t make me wait too long,’ he said softly.
And then he was gone, out of the house and down the road, walking rapidly away without looking back as if suddenly the emotion of the day had somehow caught up with him as well.
Slowly Gemma turned and made her way back into the house. It was quiet upstairs, which meant that Daisy was still asleep. She should wake her really. At this rate she wouldn’t sleep that night, but all of a sudden she felt drained and all she wanted was to sit somewhere and be quiet. She made her way into the small breakfast room at the back of the house, only to find that her mother had come in from the garden and was seated in an easy chair by the window. She looked up as Gemma came into the room.
‘When are you going to tell him?’ she said bluntly.
‘Tell him what?’ Startled, Gemma began to hedge.
‘Come on, Gemma,’ said Jill firmly. ‘It’s blatantly obvious that Stephen is Daisy’s father.’
‘I can’t see that it’s that obvious,’ retorted Gemma.
‘Well, it was to me,’ Jill replied. ‘She looks like him, Gemma. She may have your colouring but she has his features.’ She was silent for a moment. ‘You have to tell him,’ she said at last.
‘I don’t see why,’ muttered Gemma stubbornly. Sitting down on the sofa, she hugged one of the large cushions against her as if its bulk provided a measure of protection. If she was honest, she was slightly shocked by her mother’s directness.
‘She’s his daughter, Gemma, that’s why. He has a right to know.’
‘He wasn’t around at the time. I don’t see why he should expect to swan into her life now and take over…’ There was a decided note of rebellion in Gemma’s voice now.
‘Why wasn’t he around at the time?’ Jill frowned. ‘I never did quite understand your reluctance to name Daisy’s father. In the end, I thought perhaps it was someone awful, someone you were ashamed of even. But Stephen…I just don’t understand.’ She shook her head in baffled exasperation.
‘He went away—it was his own choice,’ Gemma went on doggedly.
‘Maybe—but he didn’t know, did he?’ Jill spread her hands. ‘When he went he didn’t know you were pregnant?’
‘When he went I didn’t know I was pregnant,’ replied Gemma bitterly.
‘Are you saying the relationship was over before he went?’
‘Sort of.’ Gemma shrugged and hugged her cushion more tightly. ‘I didn’t want him to go,’ she muttered, ‘but his career was everything to him. He said he loved me, but he seemed unable to commit himself in the long-term.’
‘But maybe if he’d known about the baby—’ Jill protested.
‘No,’ said Gemma sharply. ‘I wanted him to commit to me.’ She sighed. ‘He’d already told me that he didn’t want to settle down or have a family—at least, not for a very long time.’
She was silent for a while as she battled with the sudden flood of memories. ‘I didn’t mean to get pregnant,’ she said passionately at last. ‘We were very careful. It was an accident…and afterwards, well, I didn’t want him to come back because he felt under some sort of obligation…’
‘So do you think he would have come back if he’d known you were pregnant?’ asked Jill curiously.
‘He may have done.’ Gemma paused. ‘I don’t know. But if he had, he probably would have been resentful, and I didn’t want that either. I really didn’t. If I’m honest, I didn’t know what to do. It was just after Dad died and I was desperate. And then you showed me the way through it.’ She threw a quick glance at her mother.
‘Deep down I knew I wanted to keep the baby, and you made it possible.’ She went on after a moment, ‘And we’ve managed, haven’t we?’
‘Yes,’ Jill agreed slowly, ‘we’ve managed…up until now. But Stephen is back now, Gemma, and, as I said, I really think he has to be told.’
‘All right,’ said Gemma, ‘so I tell him. And then what?’
Jill frowned again. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, suppose he’s angry that Daisy’s existence has been kept from him. Suppose he decides to fight me for custody.’
‘Oh, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t do that,’ said Jill. She looked faintly shocked at the very suggestion, as if that possibility hadn’t occurred to her.
‘He might,’ Gemma replied. ‘With his family’s backing he might. They’re wealthy and influential. His father was a QC until quite recently so they would know exactly how to go about such a thing. And his mother is desperate for more grandchildren,’ she added darkly.
‘Gemma, you’re jumping to conclusions,’ said Jill, taking a deep breath. ‘It probably wouldn’t be like that at all.’
‘So what do you think it would be like, then?’ demanded Gemma.
‘Well…’ Jill considered. ‘How has Stephen been towards you since he arrived at Denby?’
‘Friendly, I suppose,’ Gemma admitted.
‘No more than that? Has he never suggested the pair of you getting back together again?’
‘Well, yes, he did actually,’ said Gemma. ‘Ever since he arrived he’s made it pretty clear he’d like us to try again.’
‘There you are, then.’
‘Mum, it’s taken me three years to get over Stephen Preston,’ said Gemma patiently. ‘Are you saying I should risk letting him back into my life, only to have him move on again when the fancy takes him?’
‘He might not.’
‘I’m not sure I want to take the chance.’
‘But it would be differ
ent this time,’ persisted Jill. ‘There’s Daisy.’
‘I told you.’ Gemma was beginning to sound exasperated now. ‘I’m not sure I want him if it’s only Daisy he wants and not me.’
‘How did you say he found out that you have a child?’ asked Jill after a moment.
‘Someone at work told him,’ Gemma replied shortly. She didn’t want to go into all the business about Alex and her fancying Stephen.
‘And how did he react?’ asked Jill curiously.
‘He seemed taken aback.’
‘Well, obviously he would.’
‘But he thought I’d had an affair with someone else after he’d left for Dubai.’
‘I rather gathered that was what he must have thought,’ said Jill slowly, ‘but listen, darling, he’s still interested, isn’t he?’
‘I don’t know. I suppose so.’ Gemma threw her cushion back into the corner of the sofa.
‘He must be,’ said Jill firmly. ‘I can’t believe it’s just coincidence that he comes over from Streatham to walk in our park on a Sunday morning, can you?’
‘No.’ Gemma admitted reluctantly. ‘I suppose not.’
‘And if he’s still interested, knowing that you have a child which he believes was by another man, then it stands to reason it’s you he’s interested in.’
‘Maybe. But it still doesn’t alter the fact that he isn’t interested in commitment,’ Gemma replied.
‘He might have changed in the past three years. People do, you know.’
‘I doubt it.’ Gemma pulled a face then, lifting her head at a sudden sound from upstairs, she said, ‘That was Daisy. I’d better go up and get her.’ She stood up and moved to the door.
‘Gemma.’
‘Yes?’ Gemma didn’t turn round.
‘You will think about what I said, won’t you?’
‘Yes, all right.’ Gemma sighed. ‘I’ll think about it.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘DID you have a good night’s sleep?’ Gemma smiled down at the patient before her on the bed.
‘Not really.’ Tom Matthews shook his head. ‘All I could do was worry about what would happen if things go badly for me today.’
‘They aren’t going to go badly,’ said Gemma firmly. ‘Everything will be fine.’
‘I want to believe that,’ Tom replied with a sigh. ‘I really do, but I keep thinking about Zoe and the kids and how they would manage without me.’
‘Tom.’ Gemma drew up a chair and sat down beside his bed. ‘Listen to me. OK, so you have a serious heart condition, but there’s treatment available for that condition, treatment that’s successfully carried out day after day in this very hospital by a first-class team of surgeons. This team is headed by one of the top surgeons operating in this country today, so add to that the prayers and sheer will-power of your wife and family, not to mention all your friends who I’m sure will be rooting for you today, and I think you’ll agree it sounds far more likely that you’re heading for a successful outcome than anything else.’
‘When you put it like that…’ Tom managed a faint smile. Growing serious again, he said, ‘Last night I was talking to the young lad who had the heart and lung transplant.’
‘Tristan? Now, there’s a success story for you. It was Mr Van Haelfen and his team who carried that out.’
‘But weren’t there some complications afterwards?’ Tom was looking worried again. ‘He was telling me he had to go back into Theatre.’
‘It happens sometimes after a transplant,’ explained Gemma. ‘But you aren’t having a transplant—you’re having bypass surgery, which is a different thing entirely. Besides,’ she went on, ‘Tristan is making an excellent recovery and this morning there’s even talk of him going home.’
With a reassuring squeeze of Tom’s hand, she stood up. ‘Now, I’m afraid I need to start carrying out a few tests before we get you ready for Theatre. Don’t worry,’ she added quickly when she caught sight of his wary expression. ‘It’s only simple things like urine tests, temperature and blood pressure—oh, and a bit of a performance with a razor.’
After carrying out the necessary tests on Tom, Gemma made her way to the sluice where she found Kim emptying a bedpan. ‘Heavens, it’s busy this morning,’ she said. ‘I know Mia is off sick, but aren’t they getting a relief in?’
‘Yes, she arrived a while ago,’ Kim replied. ‘Actually, she’s a new one. I’ve never seen her before…but she asked about you,’ she added.
‘About me?’ Gemma looked up in surprise. ‘Who is she?’
‘Lindsay someone, I think.’ Kim frowned. ‘Said she was at St Jerome’s with you.’
‘Really?’ Gemma wrinkled her nose. ‘I don’t remember anyone called Lindsay.’
‘Well, you’ll see her for yourself in a moment. Did you have a good weekend?’ Kim carried on, not giving Gemma time for further speculation.
‘Yes, pretty good.’ Gemma nodded. ‘How about you?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Kim grinned. ‘Good, but busy. Suddenly there’s so much to think about—so much to arrange. Either a wedding or a birth would be enough—but both, well, you have to admit it’s a bit scary!’
‘You never did do things by halves,’ observed Gemma.
‘What did you do?’ asked Kim.
‘Do?’ Gemma frowned.
‘Yes, you said you’d had a good weekend. Did you finally get round to going out with Stephen?’ Kim said it half-jokingly, as if she didn’t really think that would have been the case, but when Gemma didn’t immediately reply her eyes narrowed. ‘Gem?’ she said, ‘Did you?’
‘Did I what?’ Deliberately Gemma played for time.
‘Go out with Stephen?’
‘Er…not exactly.’
‘But something happened?’ coaxed Kim.
‘Yes. Something happened.’ Gemma found herself smiling at her friend’s enthusiastic interest.
‘What? Go on. Tell.’ Kim’s eyes were like saucers now.
‘I met him in the park,’ said Gemma, ‘on Sunday morning—the park near where I live.’
‘Really? Was this all arranged?’ asked Kim excitedly. ‘Was your mum babysitting?’
‘No.’ Gemma shook her head. ‘It wasn’t arranged—it was quite by chance. And I had Daisy with me. We were going to feed the ducks.’
‘And Stephen just happened to be there—in your park on a Sunday morning.’ Kim looked incredulous. ‘Was he going to feed the ducks as well?’
‘No, of course not.’ Gemma forced back a laugh. ‘He was…well, he was just taking a walk, I suppose.’
‘Hmm.’ Kim looked less than convinced. ‘Where does he live? Streatham? Yes, I thought so,’ she said when Gemma nodded in reply. ‘So don’t they have a perfectly good common there to walk on, if my memory serves me right?’
‘Yes, I believe they do,’ Gemma agreed.
‘Let’s get this straight. He comes all the way to Kingston to the park very close to where you live, and you just happen to be there. I would say that was a little more than coincidence—wouldn’t you?’ She grinned. Not giving Gemma a chance to say more, she went on, ‘What happened next? How did he take to Daisy?’
‘Very well,’ Gemma admitted. ‘He helped her feed the ducks, we spent some time on the swings…and we were just having an ice cream when my mother turned up.’
‘Your mother!’ Kim’s face was a picture. ‘I bet that cramped your style a bit.’
‘Depends which way you look at it,’ Gemma replied dryly. ‘She invited him to lunch.’
‘Really?’ Kim was agog now. ‘So how did they get on—your mum and Stephen?’
‘Like a house on fire.’ Gemma gave a wry smile. ‘In fact, I think Mum and Stephen actually did more talking than he and I.’
‘And Daisy?’ demanded Kim. ‘How did Daisy take to him?’
‘She wouldn’t leave him alone.’ Gemma shrugged. ‘She seemed to think he was wonderful.’
‘Wise girl.’ Kim giggled. Growing serious, she said, ‘So w
hat happens next, then, Gem?’
‘Not sure.’
‘Oh, Gem, you’re hopeless.’ Kim stared at her in exasperation. ‘Aren’t you going to go out with him?’
‘Probably. I don’t know. Nothing has really been arranged yet.’
‘Well, you’d better hurry up and arrange something, that’s all I can say. If you don’t—like I said to you before—you’ll lose him, Gemma. You really will.’
‘Yes, all right, Kim. I know,’ said Gemma with a sigh. ‘But right at this moment, my main priority is to get Tom Matthews ready for Theatre.’
She made her way back to the nurses’ station to find Pauline explaining something to the new relief nurse.
Pauline looked round as Gemma approached the desk. ‘Here she is,’ she said.
The nurse turned and looked at Gemma. ‘Hello,’ she said. ‘Remember me?’
‘Lesley!’ said Gemma with a smile. ‘It’s you! Kim said there was someone here this morning who knew me.’ She didn’t say that Kim had thought her name was Lindsay, putting her on the wrong track completely. ‘How nice to see you again,’ she went on. Turning to Pauline, she explained, ‘Lesley and I were at St Jerome’s together. So what brings you to London?’ she asked, turning back to the relief nurse.
‘I got married,’ Lesley explained. ‘My husband works in Fulham and we have a flat in Putney.’
At that moment Julie Miles hurried out of her office. ‘Is Mr Matthews ready for Theatre yet?’ she asked, and all opportunity for further conversation was gone.
‘I’m just about to prepare him,’ Gemma replied. ‘Has the anaesthetist been to see him yet?’
‘Yes.’ Julie nodded. ‘And Dr Preston is with him now.’
Gemma turned to Lesley. ‘Would you give me a hand?’ she said.
‘Of course.’ Lesley fell into step beside her and together they made their way into the ward.
‘It’s really great to see you again,’ said Gemma. ‘We must have a good chat later on. Do you still see any of the old crowd?’
‘A few,’ Lesley admitted. ‘How about you?’
‘Not really,’ said Gemma. ‘Not since I moved to Kingston. Somehow I just lost touch…’
‘It’s easily done,’ Lesley agreed.
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