Wild Embrace

by Nalini Singh

  Hunkered down next to a seedling in the final row, beside the tall firs still standing, he shifted his center of gravity to absorb Drew’s slap on the shoulder. The other man came down beside him. “It’s getting dark, man. You intending to plant at night?”

  Felix patted down the soil and, stripping off his gloves, shifted to rest his back against one of the nearby firs without meeting Drew’s gaze. When he looked around, he saw that he and the SnowDancer tracker were the only ones here. “Where are the rest of the security people?”

  “If you could see them, they wouldn’t be doing their job.” Drew sounded like he was grinning. “Here. I grabbed you this.”

  Accepting the bottle of water with a nod of thanks, Felix twisted off the lid and took a drink. Still not looking at Drew, he said, “How do you do it with Indigo?”

  “That’s a very personal question, Felix.”

  Felix frowned, then realized what he’d said. Lips twitching as an unexpected laugh built in him, he shook his head. “I didn’t mean that.”

  Drew’s blue eyes were laughing when Felix glanced at where the other man was still hunkered down, their gazes catching for an instant. “Good, because otherwise, I’d have to beat you up.”

  Finishing off the water, he ran a hand through his sweat-dampened hair. “I meant the fact that she’s more dominant.” Drew was very, very strong, but Indigo was a lieutenant.

  “I love her.” A simple, powerful statement. “I don’t need to go all caveman to do that, to give my mate what she needs.”

  “No,” Felix said quietly. “Because you’re a dominant, too.” The power balance between Indigo and Drew was far different to that between Felix and Desiree. The dominant default was to fight, even against a stronger predator.

  Coming to sit beside him, Drew bumped Felix’s shoulder with his own. “I bet Riley fifty bucks that you and Dezi had a fight.”

  Well aware Drew’s older brother was far too mature to take the bet, Felix didn’t rise to the bait. But he did need to talk, and this dangerous, playful tracker was a friend he trusted deeply. “It was worse than a fight, Drew.” Blowing out a breath, he thought about how much to admit, his pride having taken a severe beating. “I—” He shook his head, banging the back of it against the tree trunk in a staccato rhythm. “She touched my throat with her teeth.”

  “Well,” Drew said quietly, “that can be extremely hot, or extremely bad if the trust isn’t there first.”

  “I should’ve been able to handle it.”

  “Bullshit.” Drew snorted. “If Hawke went for my throat, I’d freeze the fucking hell where I was and start thinking of ways to convince him that whatever he thought I did, I didn’t do it.”

  Felix knew Drew, knew how the other man used humor to get through to people, but he couldn’t laugh this time. “Hawke isn’t your lover.”

  “That’s true. He’s not really my type. I mean, with that hair and everything.” Tapping his own empty water bottle against his thigh, Drew said, “Look, Felix, you two tried to rush things and it looks like you got burned. You have to figure out if you want it enough to risk the burn again, or if it’s time to move on.”

  Felix couldn’t stop thinking about Desiree, but she hadn’t turned up tonight. So maybe she’d already made that decision for both of them. “When you were going after Indigo, doing all that stuff to court her”—some of it pretty outrageous—“where’d you get the confidence?”

  “Desperation.” Drew’s lips tugged up in a lopsided smile. “I was crazy for her and not about to give up just because she wanted to treat me like a teenager.”

  A feminine growl sounded from behind them. “I treated you like the menace you are,” Indigo said, striding over to look down at Drew.

  Unabashed, the other male grinned and curved one hand around his mate’s calf. “I scented you, Lieutenant.”

  “Smart-ass.” Indigo held out a hand, and when Drew took it, tugged her mate up to his feet.

  Felix watched the easy movement, watched as Drew stole a kiss then whispered something in Indigo’s ear, and he felt the hunger inside him spread and grow. Deep and rooted and directed very much toward a certain cat.

  “You on watch with me, Indy?”

  Drew’s voice as he spoke to Indigo broke into Felix’s thoughts, reminded him he needed to get up and moving. By the time he put away his gloves and other tools, then checked the seedlings one last time, Indigo and Drew had continued on to their watch positions—having made sure to say good-bye before they left.

  Drew had mouthed, Worth the burn? to him before disappearing into the trees.

  Dezi was definitely worth the burn, Felix thought, suddenly angry that she’d so easily walk away. Scowling, he pulled open the door to the truck, then slammed it shut without getting in. He was in no mood to get into a vehicle. Stripping, he threw his clothes in the open back, and shifted. His wolf flowed out of him in a shower of light, the shift an exquisite agony and a piercing pleasure. When it was over, he shook himself to settle the white-streaked light brown of his fur. And then he went tracking.

  • • •

  Desiree wasn’t used to walking away. From anything. She was the kind of person who got the bit between her teeth and didn’t let go. It was part of what made her such a good senior soldier for the pack. So keeping her distance from Felix was taking one hell of an effort. Smashing fist after fist into the punching bag that hung in one of the trees not far from her aerie—thanks to the area’s use as a training ground—she tried to punch out her fury and her need.

  It had all seemed so simple the previous night. She was bad for Felix’s self-confidence and he was bad for hers; they’d be better off apart. “It was just a bloody erection,” she muttered now, pummeling the bag in a rapid-fire burst, the ponytail in which she’d scraped back her braids hitting her back with each movement. “And I might’ve overreacted to his comment, but I’m over it.”

  A good night’s sleep had helped her shrug off her hurt. He truly hadn’t meant for his words to wound her—he’d been talking from his dick. And guys and their dicks were a whole other ball of wax. Scowling, she punched some more. If she could get over it, why couldn’t he? This wasn’t a dominant/submissive thing. This was the two of them reacting too quickly without stopping to think ab—

  She swiveled on her heel at the scent on the breeze, rich earth and autumn warmth.

  Felix.

  Stripping off the boxing gloves, she left them in the little hollow in the tree trunk where she’d found them and headed toward the scent. She found him under her aerie, a stunning wolf whose fur rippled with gradations of color and whose eyes were an intense amber. Standing proud and strong, his ears pricked, it was clear he’d heard her coming.

  Desiree wanted desperately to stroke him, to tumble with him to the earth, to just nuzzle her face to his throat. Folding her arms, and tensing her abdomen in an effort to still the butterflies, she tapped her foot. “You took your time.”

  Light fractured. The wolf dissolved as she watched, turning into a gorgeous, sexy man who was bare to his smooth, pettable skin. Nakedness after a shift was nothing unusual among changelings, but this wasn’t Desiree’s usual packmate. This was Felix, who scrambled her brain cells and made her thighs clench as her inner muscles spasmed on emptiness, her body instantly wet and ready.

  Breath catching in her throat, she closed her eyes. “Put on some damn clothes!”

  “Um, where do you expect me to get clothes?”

  “Grr.” Making her way to her aerie tree by memory, she opened her eyes only when she was past him. Then she climbed up and, once inside her home, found a pair of sweatpants Jamie had left behind one day when her fellow soldier decided to run home in leopard form. She’d thrown it in the wash with her own stuff, so it was clean. Chucking it down to the gorgeous naked wolf below her aerie, she jumped back to the ground.

  Felix froze
in the act of pulling on the sweatpants. “Wow,” he whispered, his eyes wide. “That was incredible.”

  Her cat wanted to purr. Ordering it to behave, she rose up from her landing crouch. “Not that I don’t want to bite your butt, but maybe you should finish dressing.”

  Hot red color on his cheeks, he finished pulling on the sweatpants over that very bitable butt. Then, to her surprise, he turned to face her, his arms folded across his chest. And though his eyes didn’t meet hers, his posture held a stubbornness that told her he wasn’t going to back down. “You didn’t come to the planting area today.”

  “You said you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

  “No, I didn’t. You decided it would be better for the both of us.”

  Desiree opened her mouth to argue . . . and realized he was right. They hadn’t really discussed the future, just the fact that perhaps they were bad for one another. “Damn it.” She went to shove her hands through her hair, remembered it was tied back, and curled her fingers into tight fists. “Did I pull rank?” She was infuriated and frustrated both.

  “No,” Felix said. “I think thinking you know best is just a natural character flaw.”

  “Grr.” Claws slicing out, she glared at him. “Did you come here to pick a fight?”

  He paused for a second before nodding slowly. “Yes.”

  Chapter 7

  “Yes?” Desiree stared at him. “Submissives do not pick fights with dominants.”

  “Is that what we are? Dominant and submissive?” Shoulders tightening, his skin smooth and healthy over rippling muscle. “I thought we could be more.”

  Courage, she thought again, he had so much courage. It shattered her defenses. “I’d like that, too,” she said, her voice husky. “But I’m afraid of hurting you.”

  His skin grew taut over his jawline. “A relationship will never work if you’re constantly pulling back. Either I can handle you full throttle or I can’t. End of story.”

  She went to open her mouth to argue, closed it. He was right. A true relationship needed to be in balance. Blowing out a breath, she flexed her fingers. “We’ve been rushing things.” Her claws slid back into her skin. “I know part of that is my fault, but part of the fault is with you—for being so damn irresistible.”

  A hint of a smile on his lips, that slightly full lower one tempting her to indulge. “I agree we’ve been rushing, but I can’t slow it down when I’m with you. Any ideas?”

  “No hanky-panky for the next week,” Desiree said, though her leopard was in rampant disagreement. It wanted Felix. Wanted to bite and lick and mark. “We date like we’re fourteen-year-olds on our first dates.”

  Lines marred Felix’s forehead. “No.”

  “No?” She put her hands on her hips. “I’m trying to figure out a solution.” Attempting to give the trust between them time to build to the point where they could try sexy things again without worry. Because she wanted to try all kinds of sexy things with Felix. All kinds.

  “Sixteen-year-olds,” he said. “Who aren’t ready to go all the way. Nothing below the waist and the throat’s out for now.”

  A smile built inside her. “Done.” Entire body relaxing, she allowed herself to caress him with her eyes, saw his breathing alter, sensed his scent change as he became aware of her petting gaze. “I want to lick you,” she said on a purr. “But there shall be no licking tonight. Sixteen-year-olds do not lick at the start of a date.”

  “Want to watch a movie together?” Felix asked, his rich brown eyes meeting her own for a single, glorious second as, around them, the trees rustled in a cool night wind.

  “Yeah,” she said and turned to the tree. Claws out, she clambered up and was on her porch before she remembered her date wasn’t a cat.

  She peered over.

  Standing at the foot of the tree, the large trunk bare of any handholds, Felix scowled and sliced out his claws. As she watched, he copied her ascent exactly, using the same grips, the same foot brace positions. He wasn’t anywhere near as agile as even a young leopard, but he made it to the porch without slipping.

  “I knew you were smart,” she murmured, “but that was phenomenal.” She knew the speed at which she climbed—that he’d been able to separate out the movements and remember the precise order . . . wow.

  A flush on his cheekbones, but his smile told her it wasn’t embarrassment. “I like watching you,” he said, and her heart melted into goo.

  This was ridiculous. She was a tough-shit soldier. Acting like a teenager. And it felt really good. Slipping her hand into his, she tugged him into her home. It was simple—a two-level aerie, though the second level was only a large, shallow step up from the first. The first level was a living room slash dining area slash kitchenette, with the bedroom on the second level.

  Instead of a wall, she’d opted for curtains to block out her bedroom. Most of the time, the curtains stayed open—those who visited were her friends and family. Today, however, she walked over and let them down. It was too distracting to have the bed in her line of sight while a half-naked Felix was prowling around her living area, his eyes wolf-amber with interest.

  He stopped in front of the wall she’d covered with framed snapshots of family and packmates. “Is this your sister?” he asked with unerring accuracy, zeroing in on an image of a laughing young woman with wild curls she wore in a short, bouncy cut. “Same green eyes.”

  “Yes—her name’s Sonal; Sonu to pretty much everyone.” Desiree felt a deep tug of love inside her for the sister who’d been her chatty little shadow throughout childhood, and with whom she still had a fierce bond. “She’s off roaming now, seeing the world, meeting other packs, and, to our mother’s despair, bungee jumping off bridges.”

  Felix turned his head. “Did you do that, too, when you roamed?”

  Laughing, she admitted the truth. “Yes. That’s where Sonu got the idea!”

  Desiree’s roaming days had been a time of play, but they had also seasoned her, given her leopard room to grow. And as she’d told Felix, it had only been fun because she’d known she could return to DarkRiver at any time. Pack was home . . . and this man—beyond the sexual heat between them—aroused the same feelings of belonging and comfort and peace in her.

  Because she couldn’t be near him and not touch, she put her hand on his lower back.

  He stiffened.

  Dropping her hand at once, she said, “What?” She hadn’t thought that was a sensitive zone, but she’d never dated a wolf before.

  Felix’s muscles remained tense as he said, “I had an ex who used to touch me there, just like that. She hurt me.”

  The simple statement said far more than any florid words. Claws pricking the insides of her skin, Desiree tried to keep her growl from her voice. “Shall I go hunt her down?”

  A startled smile before Felix tangled his fingers with her own. “No, but thanks for the offer.”

  Leopard happy that he’d accepted it, though it was still snarling at the idea of him being hurt, Desiree told him about the other photographs before ducking into the bathroom for a quick shower to wash off the sweat from her punching session.

  Felix asked to use the shower after her.

  “I came straight from planting,” he said. “I’ll pull on these sweatpants again after, but it’d be good to wash off the day.”

  “Here’s a fresh towel.”

  Smile deep as he accepted it, he said, “I won’t be long.”

  The water began to run seconds later.

  Trying not to think about him naked and wet so close, she busied herself throwing together some food. It wasn’t much, just sandwiches and fruit, but Felix’s eyes gleamed in appreciation when he came out with damp hair and beads of water still on his shoulders from where he’d missed them with the towel.

  She bit her tongue to stop herself from offering to dry him, not sure she could con
trol herself once she started. “Dig in,” she said. “You must be starving.”

  They talked throughout the meal, no awkward silences . . . though the sexual tension beneath the surface was a killer, a thread stretched increasingly taut.

  Afterward, they sat together in the small love seat she had in her living area in lieu of the flat cushions most of her packmates preferred, and argued about which movie to watch. “I am not watching that,” she said with a scowl. “It’s a weird art house flick that’ll probably have sepulchral music and no plotline.”

  “Snob.”

  “You want to watch something with subtitles and I’m the snob?” She bared her teeth at him before she thought about it.

  He bared his teeth back. “I speak French. Learned it while I was working there.”

  “We’re still not watching the gloomy movie.” Seated in the crook of his arm, and having kept her hands very firmly to herself, she picked something else. “How about this?”

  “You want to watch gory horror on a romantic date?”

  Desiree hesitated, then laid it out. Might as well be honest so he knew who and what he was getting. “Told you I’m not good at the romance deal. I’m not very girly.”

  “I think you’re very girly.” Felix’s voice stroked over her, made her shiver.

  • • •

  Watching Desiree’s breasts rise as her lashes lowered, Felix had an epiphany. She was a dominant, yes, and pushy with it at times, but that didn’t mean she had endless self-confidence. She had doubts and worries just like him, needed reassurance. Part of him had always understood that, but he hadn’t really internalized it. The dominants always appeared so confident and strong that they seemed not to need anyone.

  But Desiree . . .

  Running one of her now free braids through his fingers, he tugged off the colored bead that anchored it and placed it on the table where she’d put a bowl of popcorn. She didn’t protest, curling up against him as he slowly, methodically unraveled first one, then all of her painstakingly done braids. Her hair was crackling wild silk over his hands, sticking possessively to his hands and chest.