Always Beautiful

by Oien, M. K

  After a minute I locked eyes with him again and began to speak. “If I win, you let me drive your car.” Zeppelin instantly sobered. His jaw was tight as he stared at me in shock. I raised a brow at him. “Take it or leave it Zeppelin.” I said. He began shaking his head slowly, seeming to relax a bit. “You’re on. I don’t intend to lose so I’m not worried about it.”

  Grinning widely, I clapped my hands and began bouncing a little on the tailgate. “We’ll see. Oh, I can’t wait to take that thing for a spin!” I said excitedly. I was goading him of course. I mean I really did want to get behind the wheel of that cherry GTO, but it was fun watching him squirm too. “Keep dreaming Angel. I have every intention of winning.” A wide grin spread across his face now. “I can’t wait to take you for a spin.” He whispered conspiratorially.

  My throat went dry and it was my turn to look shocked. Zeppelin laughed and placed his hands on either side of my face. Lowering his head to mine, his lips brushed against me as he spoke. “I’m kidding Lucky. I mean, I really just want to take you out. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since last weekend.” He admitted. His lips pressed against mine as he gave me a slow, simmering kiss. When he pulled back I was breathless.

  “Do we have a deal?” Zeppelin asked, putting his hand out in front of him for me to shake. I nodded stupidly, still reeling from his kiss. I put my hand in his. “We have a deal.” I said.

  I heard engines revving as two cars started up and began rolling to the starting line. People followed to stand and watch. I turned my head to watch as well. If I was going to be racing any of these people soon, I wanted to know what the competition looked like. The first two cars were an older Camaro and a new Mustang. A tall, dark haired girl that I had seen Hannah talking to was now standing in between the two cars. She had her arms raised in preparation of signaling the drivers to go.

  Other than not being at an actual track, the racing and the atmosphere was pretty much the same. After the first two rounds, I had nearly forgotten that what we were doing wasn’t legal. Hannah came to stand by me to watch and Zeppelin went to go talk to some of the guys who had already raced. Every once in a while, my gaze would shift to where he was standing and he would look at me and smile or wink. There was just something about the way he carried himself, the way he moved that got to me. For the first time, I wanted someone and the thought of pursuing it didn’t terrify me or turn me off like it once had.

  After all eight cars raced, it was time for me and Zeppelin to go head to head. My stomach filled with butterflies as I walked over to my car, Hannah by my side. “Are you excited?” She asked, bouncing on her heels. She was always hyper when I was racing. She was probably one of my biggest fans and though she had no idea about cars, she loved me and supported me without question. I grinned. “Yeah I’m excited, a little nervous too.” Hannah nodded. “You’re going to win this Lucky. Show that boy what you’re made of.” She said with a slap on my ass. I laughed. “Thanks friend,” I said as I opened the door to my car.

  Hannah wished me good luck and wandered back toward the starting line so that she could watch me. I caught movement in my peripheral vision and turned my head to see Zeppelin walking over to me. His hands were in his pockets and he looked perfectly calm and relaxed. His eyes were hidden in the shadow from the baseball cap he wore. “Are you ready to lose?” He asked. My mouth dropped open and I scoffed. “Please, you’re the one that’ll be chasing me down that road.” I said.

  Zeppelin chuckled. “We’ll see Angel. Good luck.” He said and wandered to his car. “Hey Zeppelin!” I hollered just as he opened his door and was about to slip inside the car. He glanced at me. “Let me know if I’ve got a tail light out after the race.” I shouted. He grinned widely, matching my expression and shook his head. We both slid into our cars and started them up. I took a deep breath and pressed play on the CD player in my car. I always listened to music when I raced. Some people thought that it was interfering but for me it pumped me up and helped me get in the zone.

  I eased up to the starting line. Dixon was standing there to guide me in to place. I had the left lane and Zeppelin had the right. The dark haired girl was standing a few feet away waiting to signal us. I pushed my foot to the gas pedal and darted forward, burning the tires and showing no mercy. Avenged Sevenfold’s Scream blared through the speakers. This is what got my blood pumping and amped for the race. I let my gaze flick over to where Zeppelin was rolling forward.

  He didn’t look at me. His face was forward, eyes trained on the road ahead of him I assumed. I faced the road as well and took a deep breath. As fun as the little date he had planned sounded, I wanted to win this one. Besides, he could still take me out if I won. I really wanted to get behind the wheel of his car. I loved Penelope, but that GTO got me hot and bothered. All muscle and a brightly colored, hard body. Just like Zeppelin. I shook my head, breaking any thoughts that may have started to form. I needed no distractions.

  I looked at the girl who was signaling. She raised her arms and looked from me to Zeppelin. My foot hovered over the gas pedal, my other one on the brake. I felt the rumble of the engine, the sound of the motor, itching to engage. The second her arm went down I was off. My goal was always the finish line, nothing more, nothing less. I could worry and wonder all day long any other time. While I was in the driver’s seat, it was just about making it to the end.

  I glanced over to my right as I shifted, seeing Zeppelin’s GTO lined up with mine. Damn it! His gaze flickered to mine briefly before he shifted and began to gain a lead. In a matter of seconds we were crossing the finish line. He was maybe a bumper length ahead of me. It was close, but I had lost. Letting out a sigh, I trailed behind him as the road narrowed. Circling around, we made our way back to where everyone was.

  Parking behind Matt’s truck again, I cut the engine and unbuckled. I wasn’t angry that I lost to Zeppelin. To be honest, it didn’t really matter because I was looking forward to going out with him. I just hated losing. It’s not like this was the first time, and I respected Zeppelin’s car and him as a racer. Obviously he was good at it. Hannah approached my car with a wary expression. I opened my door and stepped out.

  “Damn chick that was a close one.” She said. I nodded. “Yeah it was. I thought I might have him for a minute.” I replied. “Well at least you didn’t bet.” She shrugged. She must have read the expression on my face at her statement because she raised a brow and crossed her arms. “I thought you weren’t betting money with him.” She said. I began shaking my head. “We didn’t bet money…” Hannah narrowed her eyes at me. “What did you bet then?” She asked. “If he won, I have to go out with him tomorrow night. If I won, he would let me drive his car.” I explained.

  Hannah’s eyes widened. “Dang, Lucky that would have been so rad!” “I know. Oh well, maybe he will let me anyway.” I smirked. Hannah rolled her eyes. “I doubt it. You know how guys are with their cars. Hell, you know how you are with yours.” She said. I nodded, “True.” I didn’t blame Zeppelin for being cautious of who drove his car. To be honest, I wouldn’t be chomping at the bit to let him drive Penelope either. “Josh got here just before you guys raced. He’s impressed.” Hannah said. I smiled. “Well good, tell him if he wants to take me on anytime, I’m game.” I said. Hannah giggled. “Yeah right, he doesn’t race his car. It’s too new and precious to him.” She said.

  I heard my name being called and looked up to see Dixon waving me over. He was standing near Matt who was being circled by drivers and their crews. Hannah and I made our way over to them. I noticed that Zeppelin was nowhere in sight. I glanced back at his car and saw him leaning against the front fender with his cell phone at his ear.

  “Settle down you fucking leaches!” Matt shouted and backed away from the crowd swarming him. “Driver’s get paid first and then the side bets will be settled.” He explained and shot a hand out in front of him. “Drivers on this side of me,” He pointed to his left. “Bet placers on this side.” Everyone lined up in a dec
ent orderly fashion and waited to get paid.

  “You did really good out there tonight Lucky.” Dixon said. “Thanks.” I offered my cousin a smile. “What did you think?” He asked. “This was definitely fun. I’m not sure if I’d want to race these local guys though. They all seem pretty tight.” I said. I took in the way the crews all huddled together, their driver’s like the president of each individual club. At one point earlier in the night, I had heard two guys arguing over a race. I knew that was bound to happen. It happened at the track before too, but I don’t think I personally wanted to get involved with a hot head racer.

  “They take it pretty damn seriously.” Dixon admitted. Matt was paying off the last of the side bets when he turned to me and held out a stack of cash. He smiled and winked at me. “Great job tonight Lucky. You got yourself a little bit of cash.” I gazed at him confused. “I didn’t win.” I said. “No, but some of the guys bet whether you could or couldn’t give Zeppelin a run for his money. You were awesome out there.” He shoved the money in my hand. I gaped at him. I wasn’t aware people would be placing side bets on our race. I really didn’t expect anyone to bet whether or not I could keep up with Zeppelin.

  Folding the bills, I stuffed them in my back pocket. I wasn’t going to count it right now, but it felt like quite a bit. Zeppelin had come over, now off the phone. Matt slapped him on the back and handed him some money as well. “Thanks.” Zeppelin mumbled. He turned to look at me. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” He asked. I nodded. “Sure.” I said. He reached for my hand and led me away from the crowd of people under the lights. He walked across the empty road, enveloping us in the darkness.

  When he stopped, he turned on me and smirked. “So we have a date tomorrow night?” He asked. “I guess we do. What do you have planned?” I wondered. Zeppelin shook his head slowly and lifted a hand to cup my cheek. “I’m not telling you.” He said before brushing his lips against mine. “Seriously?” I asked as I pulled back from him. “What’s the matter Angel, you don’t like surprises?” I began shaking my head. “I don’t know. I barely know you.” I said. Zeppelin chuckled.

  “If I promise that I won’t kidnap you and take you away to a remote location will that make you feel better?” He asked. My eyes widened. “I wasn’t thinking you would do that until now.” Zeppelin’s brow crumpled. “I wouldn’t do that Lucky. Do you think your cousin would let me talk to you, let alone look at you if I was a bad guy?” He asked. I knew somehow, deep down I guess, that Zeppelin wasn’t a bad guy. He was also right about Dixon. There is no way my cousin would let me hang out with someone who was bad news.

  Clearly Zeppelin and I had some sort of chemistry. I had already made out with him and let him touch me. Why was I suddenly shaking at the thought of being alone with him on a date? The thought occurred to me that it was because my reaction to him was much more intense than any other guy I had gone out with. I knew that if left alone with Zeppelin, uninterrupted, there would be the chance that I may give myself away.

  “Hey,” Zeppelin said and pulled me closer to him by the waist. I looked into his darkened eyes. “Don’t be nervous Angel. We won’t do anything you don’t want to. I just want to spend some time with you, get to know you.” He said. I nodded. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m so used to controlling things. I’m not used to being spontaneous. You bring that out I guess.” I admitted. “Spontaneous is my middle name. I’m the king of living in the moment Lucky.” I smiled.

  He brushed the hair off of my face and rested his forehead against mine. “So will you go out with me tomorrow night?” He asked. He was invading my senses like he seemed to always be doing and his large, warm hands heated my skin. It was impossible to deny him anything at the moment. “Yes.” I whispered.

  Zeppelin grinned and pulled me in for a long, lingering hug. As he pulled away, he kissed my forehead. He walked me back across the street where Hannah and Josh were standing by my car. People were beginning to disperse and Dixon was just getting in to Matt’s truck. Zeppelin lifted my hand to his lips, kissing it gently. “Until tomorrow Angel,” He said with a wink before heading to his own car. For the life of me, no matter how dumb I may have looked, I couldn’t wipe the grin off of my face.

  Chapter 6

  ~June 2012~

  I woke up Friday morning with the same smile on my face from the night before. I felt like a giddy teenager who had just received a valentine from her crush. Hannah of course had asked me what the look was for after Zeppelin left last night. I told her we were officially going out tonight. Knowing me as well as she did, Hannah offered to come over and help me get ready for my date with Zeppelin. He had texted me last night before I fell asleep and told me that he would pick me up at six o’clock this evening.

  Thinking about the way he kissed me last night, sent warmth through my entire body. I wasn’t sure what his plans were for tonight and I tried not to overthink it too much. I rolled out of bed and ambled to the bathroom to take a shower. I took my time washing my hair and body. I made sure to shave my legs and everything else. When I was finished, the small space was thoroughly steamed up but I felt incredibly clean and bit more relaxed.

  The day went by pretty fast surprisingly. I tried to keep myself as busy as possible by checking out apartments online and then calling my parents. My mom had informed me that her and my father, were taking a trip to the coast in a few weeks and she wished I were going. Though I loved Portland so far, I still missed having my mom around me all the time. I briefly mentioned that I had a date tonight with one of Dixon’s friends. She was surprised by the news considering I hadn’t dated since Jeremy. She wished me luck and by the end of the call, I felt the butterflies building steadily.

  By four, Hannah and I were in my bedroom, trying to find me something to wear. She rummaged through my closet and drawers searching for the perfect outfit.

  “So he didn’t say what you were going to be doing?” She asked as she laid a few tops out on my comforter. “No, he said he wouldn’t tell me. It’s a surprise.” I told her. “Well I say go with something cute and casual then. Kind of like the night of the fight. You don’t want to be overdressed or underdressed.” Hannah continued to ramble as I stood there staring at her. I had no idea what she meant and was beginning to feel discouraged.

  “Can’t I just put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt?” I asked. I grabbed my favorite pair of dark jeans and an old band t-shirt from my drawer. Hannah shook her head. “That’s too basic Lucky. This is a date. You’re not just going to be hanging out at a pizzeria.” She said. I rolled my eyes. “New flash, we could be. I have no clue remember?” Hannah furrowed her brow at me. “Don’t you want to dress it up a little? You know, make him want you.” She said with a wink.

  My hands began to feel clammy at the mention of making Zeppelin want me. This was my first date in a while and if that wasn’t bad enough, I was afraid of what might happen. I know that Zeppelin said he wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want, but what if he kissed me and I decided I did want something more. Should my clothes be easy to remove? What about my underwear? I had some really cute Victoria’s Secret stuff, but what style would he like. I began to feel a panic attack coming on when Hannah grabbed my arm and shook me. It wasn’t like me to be this nervous and I was overwhelmed.

  “Lucky, you look pale. Are you feeling okay?” She asked. I shook my head, ridding the thoughts that had consumed me. Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, I looked at my best friend. “I need help.” I said meekly. A slow grin spread across Hannah’s pink lips. “That’s why I’m here Lucky. Don’t worry. I’m going to make you gorgeous!” She vowed. “Trust me. I’m a pro at these kinds of things.”

  Yeah, I didn’t doubt that considering the many dates she had been on compared to the handful that I had under my belt. Tamping down any lingering nerves, I let her continue to rifle through my belongings, trusting her to work whatever magic she could.

  An hour and a half later, I was standing in front of my full length m
irror that hung on the back of my door. Hannah chose a dark purple top for me that flowed to my upper thigh with a pair of black, cropped leggings. My feet were decked out in flat gladiator sandals which were also black. My chestnut hair was curled loosely and I wore black eyeliner and a light plum shadow on my eyes. I had to admit that I looked pretty damn good.

  “You’re stunning doll!” Hannah beamed like a proud parent as she stood behind me. I met her eyes in the mirror and smiled. “You are, thanks friend. You rock!” I said. Hannah shrugged, “I know.” She giggled. Laughing, I turned around and pulled her in for a hug. “Seriously, thank you. Without you I would be a bundle of nerves and probably have ended up in sweat pants.” She squeezed me gently before backing up. “I’m happy to be here Lucky. Ugh! I’ve missed you so much, I’ve missed this.” She admitted. I felt the beginnings of tears forming in my eyes. Blinking them away rapidly, I looked at my best friend. “Let’s never be apart for that long again.” I declared. Hannah nodded. “Deal,” she extended her hand to me and we coiled our pinky’s together.

  Hannah left about fifteen minutes before six, but not without demanding that I call her the minute I return home from the date. I sprayed on my favorite perfume and did a quick check of my hair and clothes. Almost six o’clock on the dot, I heard Zeppelin’s GTO pull in to the driveway. Letting out a breath, I grabbed my purse off the dining room table and rested it on my shoulder. The doorbell rang and I slowly made my way to the door, trying to quell the fluttering in my stomach. Why was I so nervous? Maybe it was just the thrill of getting to see Zeppelin again. I definitely had it bad for him, there was no use denying that.