Cutting Through

by Joan Hohl

  Smiling in spite of the drummer going berserk inside her head, Laura lit up as she stepped onto the deck. She took a deep drag and released it on a sigh.

  Even at that early hour, it was warm, balmy, a sure indication of a hot day ahead. Settling into a padded porch chair, Laura smoked away. She collected her splintered thoughts, focusing her mind on the pros and cons of being separated from Drew.

  There weren’t any pros…other than the obvious one of not having to be witness to Drew’s infidelity. But there was one long list of cons.

  Foremost on the list were the kids. What would a divorce do to them? Laura didn’t have to ponder the question. She knew the answer. While Drew was—and she suspected, always had been—an unfaithful husband, he had always been a caring, involved father.

  The kids would be devastated. The very thought of telling them she and their father were separating made her head pound even more.

  They had all protested against the move from Maine to New Jersey. Laura had understood their feelings. Maine was the only home they had ever known. They liked their schools. They had friends. Drew Jr. had a girlfriend and, she sighed, Jeannie had been seeing a lot of a boy in her class at school. She had cried on hearing they were moving. Now, so soon after the move, when they were still settling in, making friends, they would be devastated all over again at the mere mention of a separation and eventually a divorce.

  Never mind the possibility they might have to move once more, maybe even into the city, to stay with her parents, if only for the transition period.

  The pounding in Laura’s head increased. Crushing the butt out in an ashtray, she immediately lit another.

  Obviously satisfied the coast was clear and her mistress was safe, Cocoa came to lie down. She stretched out protectively at Laura’s feet, her head resting on her paws, but her ears still on the alert.

  “Good girl,” Laura murmured, leaning forward to scratch behind Cocoa’s ears, her favorite spot.

  Cocoa whined with pleasure and Laura settled back again, avoiding the disturbing thoughts of the kids to contemplate the other cons confronting her.

  There was the house. This house. The house Laura had dreamed about, longed for, ever since the day Drew slid the thin gold band around her finger.

  Laura fingered the band, thinner now than before. Could she lose the house? Possibly. Very likely if Drew decided to kick up a nasty fight. Oh, he’d provide for his kids. She had no doubts on that issue. But the house had been expensive, way, way too expensive to Laura’s way of thinking. But it did have four bedrooms, three full baths and a powder room. Not to mention a large family room in the basement which they had separated into two rooms, making one into a bedroom for Drew Jr., their eldest.

  If they divorced, would Drew be willing to continue making the exorbitant mortgage payments, as well as child support for the three younger kids?

  Laura seriously doubted it.

  Then there was the fact that she had never worked, not since that summer in Ocean City when she, Krissy and Julia had been waitresses, sharing a small flat.

  While Laura was willing to go to work, what could she do? Waitress again? What else was there for her? Not having finished college, she was untrained and ill-equipped to do much of anything other than housework.

  The idea of doing housecleaning for someone else was out, except as a last resort. Not that Laura believed there was anything demeaning about doing housework. But she had been doing her own for what seemed forever. And she would continue to do so, if not in this house, then wherever she and the kids finally settled.

  Yes. Laura gave a determined nod of her head. Housework as a profession was definitely out.

  That left waitressing, or perhaps salesperson in one of the shops at a nearby mall.

  Laura sighed, and lit a fresh cigarette from the old one. She’d have to be away from the house all day. As Drew Jr. would be off to college, her three youngest would be latchkey kids, on their own until she returned from work.

  Laura didn’t like that idea at all.

  Her second oldest, Jeananne, was old enough to look out for her younger siblings, Laura supposed. Though she was not at all certain about the fifteen-year-old’s sense of responsibility. At thirteen, Tim could be defiant at times—okay, most times. The youngest, eight-year-old Sue had a tendency to have a fit when things didn’t go her way.

  Laura herself was not the only one to blame for Sue’s behavior. Being the baby, every member of the family had had a hand in spoiling her.

  Still, if she did go to work, surely Jeannie, Tim and Suzzy could manage on their own for an hour or so after school.

  Laura took an extra-deep drag on the cigarette, and immediately started coughing.

  Damn fool! she told herself, crushing out the cigarette. She needed to go to bed, get some rest, pray the headache was gone by morning.

  Hell, it was already morning. Murmuring to Cocoa, Laura pushed herself out of the chair and went back inside, the quietly obedient dog at her side. She practically had to drag her reluctant body up the stairs. She didn’t want to crawl into bed next to Drew.

  Tears misted her eyes. Laura shook her head, impatient with herself. No, crawling into bed with her cheating husband was the last thing she wanted to do.

  What Laura really wanted to do was throw on some clothes, get into her car, and drive, drive, drive forever, somewhere, everywhere…anywhere Drew wasn’t.

  Of course, Laura wouldn’t do anything of the kind. For, even though Drew was still there—if perhaps for not too much longer—so were her precious kids.

  Kicking off her killer stiletto shoes, Krissy dropped into a chair. Her work was done. She had wrapped her last scene in the film less than an hour ago. Rand was still on the set, working on a love scene between him and the female lead. Krissy didn’t want to watch him make love to another woman, even if it was make-believe. The actress was young…and beautiful.

  Rand had wanted her to stay. He had even argued a bit about her decision to leave.

  “This scene won’t take long,” he’d said, using his best coaxing tone and smile on her. “Stay. And then I can take you someplace special to celebrate.”

  Despite his cajoling, Krissy stood firm. “I feel beat, Rand. I’m not in a celebrating mood just now. You do your scene. I’ll go back to the hotel and rest. We can go someplace for dinner this evening, if you still want to celebrate, after you see today’s rushes.”

  “But—” he began, when the director cut him off.

  “Come on, Rand, on the set,” he yelled. “Let’s get this scene done. Goodbye, Krissy.”

  Smiling, she had blown a kiss at Rand, and waved to the scowling director who, while sounding like a tyrant, was in fact a sweetheart.

  Anxious to be gone, she had not bothered to remove her professional makeup. She knew that because of the mask so carefully applied by the makeup artist, she herself looked beautiful, if not as young as the other actress. She knew as well that, after she got around to cleaning her face, she would look every one of the forty years she would soon be, but refused to even think about.

  Krissy really was as tired as she had told Rand. Although she hadn’t had many scenes to play in the movie, tension about her performance had taken a toll. She felt weary to the bone and vaguely defeated. She had her doubts, many in fact, about her portrayal of the role. Not that she was concerned about her career. She had no intentions of ever again stepping onto a film set and in front of a camera. Still, she didn’t want to be the one to ruin the movie Rand had insisted she be a part of.

  Then there was the tension that had begun twisting through her lately, because Rand was acting more and more possessive with each passing day. He had begun making demands, if in a gentle, cajoling tone. Just within the previous week he had insisted on putting a ring on her finger. He had even led her to a shop in jewelers’ row to show her a set of rings, one with a large diamond solitaire, and matching diamond-encrusted band he said he could picture on her finger.

  The
picture eluded Krissy. She didn’t want the commitment inherent with the acceptance of an engagement ring, never mind a wedding band worth a small fortune.

  Though Krissy had several reasons for her reluctance, not the least her experience with “husbands,” her main reason, of course, was the…

  She shivered, hating to even think the word. But there it was, in big bold letters looming in her mind, twinging every time she moved the wrong way, when she showered and dressed and always when she and Rand made love.

  Rand did adore her breasts.

  Concealing her pang of pain every time he adored her one breast in particular, the one with the…

  Lump, dammit! Krissy forced herself to acknowledge the…thing growing deep inside.

  A sob rose in her throat. Sealing her lips against it, Krissy flung herself out of the chair to pace the luxurious suite. Tears misted her eyes. Sheer terror threatened to overtake her mind.

  Increasing her gait, wringing her hands, Krissy circled and repeatedly recircled the roomy area. She had to get out. Go somewhere. Get away for a while. Away from Rand, where she could think. Alone.

  No! Dear God, she couldn’t be alone. She would do nothing but dwell on it.

  Krissy was scared sick. Afraid. She had been terrifying herself lately with thoughts of self-destruction. Pills. A quick leap off the Ben Franklin Bridge. A razor to the wrist. Any method to avoid going through the horrible ordeal her mother had endured. The loss of hair had been nothing compared to the dreadful agony her mother had suffered. Near the end, she had crawled into a fetal position, into herself. She had not eaten, not wept, not spoken, to anyone, not even her husband and children.

  “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” Krissy yelled aloud, shuddering, startling herself with the desperate sound of her own voice. “Just stop it and do something.”

  Run!

  Where?

  The ocean. The swish and undulating motion of the ocean had always had a calming effect on her. She would run there. It was close enough, little more than an hour away.

  But not with Rand. With a sharp shake of her head, Krissy made a beeline to the phone. But not alone, either, or she seriously might be tempted to make it a one-way trip.

  She knew exactly who she wanted to run with her. If she could arrange it. But, first things first.

  Lifting the receiver, Krissy pressed the button for operator assistance. Minutes later the phone was ringing in the office of a realty agency in Ocean City, New Jersey. The agent identified himself on answering.

  “This is Dan Albright. How can I help you?”

  “How do you do, Mr. Albright, I’d—” she began.

  “Dan, please,” he interrupted.

  “Dan,” Krissy conceded. “My name’s Kristin Trzcinski.” She spelled it for him. “I’d like to rent an apartment for next week.”

  “Oh ma’am, I’m sorry—” he began.

  “Please, call me Krissy.”

  “Okay, Krissy. But, I’m still sorry. I’m afraid I have nothing for next week. It is the week of the Fourth, you know.”

  Actually, Krissy hadn’t given a thought to the national holiday, and she was even in Philadelphia, for heaven’s sake, where it had all started.

  “Yes, I know,” she smoothly lied. “But I assumed there would be something available in the upscale, highest end of the market.”

  Dan failed at concealing a sigh at the prospect of losing a large commission. “We’re always booked solid for that week,” he sadly explained. “Even in our highest end listings. So far as I know, every agency in town is fully booked.”

  “I see.” Krissy didn’t try to hide her disappointed sigh. “What about the following week?”

  “I have several openings,” he said. “But I must tell you, they are very high end.”

  “Give me the particulars.”

  Obviously reading from the lists, Dan proceeded to do so. “There are four in all, three with four bedrooms and three and a half baths, and one with three bedrooms and three baths, the one ensuite with the master bedroom. All four have large kitchens, attached dining rooms, spacious living rooms and full decks and, of course, private parking.” He finished up with, “This last one is on the third level facing the ocean, with elevator, and is located within half a block from the boardwalk and ocean.” He named a street.

  Krissy recognized it. “I’ll take it.”

  “Ahhh, ma’am,” he quickly corrected himself. “I mean, Krissy, this condo rents for five thousand dollars a week. Paid in advance. Now, I realize there’s little time for you to come down to inspect the place, but…”

  “I’ll put a check in the mail tomorrow.”

  He coughed. “Without seeing it?”

  “Will you give me your word it’s nice?”

  “Krissy, I swear this place is downright gorgeous,” he promised, his tone sincere.

  “The check will be in the mail.”

  Moments later, Krissy disconnected. She immediately began pushing buttons again. Now to talk Julia and Laura into joining her for ladies’ week away from it all.

  CHAPTER 12

  Julia felt exhausted, and a little down. The tiredness was from driving her daughters to the Harrisburg airport to send them to visit their grandparents in Florida. She was feeling down because, having just returned to her home, she was already missing the Em and Ems.

  What would she do on her own for two weeks? Well, actually over two weeks, as her mother had insisted on making the flight arrangements and in doing so had added a few days on to the length of the visit.

  Shoulders drooping, Julia went to the sink to make a pot of coffee. She rarely drank coffee at midday, but she really needed a caffeine boost.

  She was sipping at her first cup of the hot brew when the phone rang.

  The girls? Already? Julia thought, glancing at the kitchen clock while hurrying to the wall-mounted phone. No, she dismissed the idea, realizing it would be at least another half hour before she could possibly hear from them.

  Jon? she asked herself as she reached for the receiver. But why would he call? He knew the girls’ scheduled arrival time in Florida. Besides, he never called during the day. Unless there was an emergency. To Julia’s near amazement, it was Jon, and no emergency.

  “I’m going to be finished here around six,” he said when she’d answered. “How does dinner out tonight at your favorite restaurant sound to you?”

  She couldn’t remember the last time she and Jon had been out alone together.

  “Julia? Are you there?”

  “Yes, I’m here. I—I’m just a bit surprised.”

  “Yeah, well, my last appointment of the day cancelled,” he explained. “And, figuring you were probably missing the Ems already, I thought…maybe, you’d like to get out for a while.”

  “I’d love it,” Julia said, smiling. “Should I call and make a reservation?”

  “No,” he said. “I already made one.”

  “Okay.” Julia was quickly beginning to feel better, less glum. “What time should I be ready?”

  “Since the reservation’s for seven,” he said, sounding pleased, “how about six-thirty?”

  “Fine,” Julia said, frowning as she heard Brooke’s voice in the background.

  “Okay. Gotta go, next patient is here, bye.” He hung up before she could respond.

  Brooke. The mere sound of the young woman’s voice had the power to steal Julia’s pleasure.

  Not good, she warned herself, taking a deeper swallow of the cooling coffee. It was foolish to allow the sound of another woman’s voice to upset her.

  The ring of the phone cut across her thoughts. Relieved, Julia quickly grabbed up the receiver.

  “Hi, Julia, it’s me,” Krissy said. “How are you?”

  “I’m fine.” Julia frowned at the unusual sound of tiredness in her friend’s voice. “How are you, and how’s the movie going?”

  “Oh, I’ve finished shooting my scenes.”

  “You sound tired, Krissy. Are you feeling
okay?”

  Krissy sighed, then gave a weak attempt at a laugh. “I didn’t know it was so evident. But, yes, I am tired. That’s the reason I’m calling.”

  “Oh, Krissy, I’ll do anything I can,” Julia quickly assured her. “Do you want me to come into town?”

  “No, no. Not that I wouldn’t love to see you.” This time Krissy managed a more normal, if brief laugh. “I called to ask if you thought you might be able to get away for a while.”

  “Get away? For how long?”

  There was a moment’s hesitation, before Krissy answered. “Er…a week?” She rushed on before Julia could get a word in. “I just rented a place down the shore in Ocean City for a week and I’d love to have you and Laura stay down there with me. Do you think you could swing it?”

  “Wait, wait, wait,” Julia said, laughing. “Krissy, you want me and Laura to stay with you? What about Rand, won’t he be going, too?”

  “No. Rand’s still filming, will be for several weeks yet. Besides, I’d like the three of us to spend some downtime together. Like old times.” She laughed. “Only this time we’re old enough to drink.”

  “Well that’s true. We have been for longer than I care to think about. I don’t know what to say. When do you have the place?”

  “The week after next,” Krissy answered, quickly adding, “I know it’s short notice but…I need to…ahh…that is, I need a break. I’m tired and I’m going nuts about the job I did on the movie.” She gave a strained laugh. “Or should I say, to the movie.”

  “Oh, c’mon, hon,” Julia said. “I’ll bet you did a great job.”

  “From your lips to the Creator’s ear.” Krissy sighed. “So, what do you think? Can you get away for a week?”

  “You couldn’t have picked a better time,” Julia answered. “I put the Ems on a plane for Florida this morning. They’ll be with my parents for a little over two weeks.”

  “Oh good,” Krissy said, obviously relieved. “Will Jon have any objections?”