A Family Affair

by Rob Loveless

  Cal pushed this thought out of his mind as he grasped the handle with a clammy hand and swung the front door open.

  Chapter Two

  Three and a half years earlier

  That fall was Cal’s last semester of college, since he would be graduating in early December. He had twelve credits left to complete and most were electives, so it was set to be an easy semester. Due to his light schedule, Cal had ample time to reflect on the past three years. He had engaged in a variety of obligatory collegiate experiences but realized he also missed out on some things.

  He had spent much of his time focused on school and marketing himself as a young professional. However, Cal recognized he had not experienced everything he’d thought he would have during these years, which he had been told should be the greatest of his life. He frequently put off going to parties, hanging out with friends, and having fun in other activities around campus so he could concentrate on developing his professional identity. Above all, Cal hadn’t dated much during his time at school—besides an awkward first date on occasion—even though he considered himself a hopeless romantic and desired finding a meaningful relationship. Now, with a final semester remaining, he began to regret all he had missed.

  Still, there was some time to change things before he graduated, and Cal was ready to make a change—starting with the relationship department. He had recently downloaded several dating apps in the hopes of hitting it off with someone online. Since he had a relaxed schedule, he spent a good deal of his free time utilizing the apps and chatting with various men.

  Despite having a light class load that semester, Cal was already struggling with senioritis after his first week of school. Luckily, he had a long weekend since Labor Day was that upcoming Monday. And, even better, he had no classes on Fridays. Cal had been messaging random suitors in the area all week and appeared to have several worthwhile conversations occurring. However, there was someone in particular who he had interacted with on Friday who seemed to stand out among the rest—even before Cal had the chance to get to know him.

  He was twenty, a junior at the college down the road from Cal’s, and pretty cute—at least from what he could tell based on his profile picture. They had messaged each other via a dating app for several hours, and as the day transitioned into late afternoon, Cal was eager to hang out. He asked him to dinner and this man said he would be free to hang out later that night, after he showered and got ready. An hour and a half later, he sent his phone number and location through the app, and Cal hustled to his car in the nearby lot to pick him up.

  The early evening sun seemed to emit a golden glow over the college town, as long shadows were cast across the campus. The late August weather was still very hot and—despite wearing an orange graphic tee, khaki shorts, and flip-flops—Cal was warm, although, that may have been caused by his nerves. Once Cal got into his clunky car, he started the engine and then realized he and his date hadn’t exchanged names over the app.

  Nevertheless, Cal pulled out his phone to reference the map location he had been sent and began driving into a confusing puzzle of one-way streets in an area of town he wasn’t very familiar with. The sent location didn’t even have an address—just a geographical reference, so he drove aimlessly down the street and even took a wrong turn. After several minutes of uncertain navigation, Cal parked in front of what he assumed to be the correct apartment and texted his unnamed date to inform him he had arrived. Moments later, without even verifying who Cal was, someone stepped into the car and sank into the passenger seat.

  Although Cal had barely gotten a full glance of him, he was overwhelmed by some foreign sensation. His face flushed as his stomach tingled, and Cal became aware of his pounding heart while a wave of heat swept over him from head to toe. Was this what genuine infatuation was? Despite Cal’s limited dating experience, he recognized this feeling meant something significant since he had never experienced anything quite like this before.

  His date donned a backward snapback—covering his black, medium-length hair—and wore square, diamond-stud earrings, a blue Henley T-shirt with a white patterned design, tan shorts, and black socks that extended past the lining of his sneakers and ran to the midpoint of his calves. He was quite attractive and exuded a cool demeanor.

  He didn’t exactly resemble his profile picture on the dating app, which was probably an older photo. He appeared less like an incoming, baby-faced college freshman and more like a seasoned twenty-year-old. Regardless, Cal knew right then and there that he wanted him—but not purely in the sexual sense. Cal wanted to know him, Cal wanted to be in a relationship with him, and Cal wanted to always be with him. It was crazy to think that, since he still didn’t even know his name.

  “Hey, I’m Cal,” he introduced himself as the attractive stranger fastened his seat belt.

  “I’m Andrew,” the young man responded.

  They made small talk as Cal drove them over to a part of town consisting of a strip of tiny shops and local restaurants. After Cal parked in a garage, the two began to stroll down Main Street, searching for a place to eat, although Cal had somewhat forgotten to look for a dining location because he could only focus on his conversation with Andrew.

  They were both undecided on where to get dinner, but when they reached the end of Main Street, Andrew made Cal pick a location. He chose a small Greek restaurant, which was quiet inside, with one lone patron dining. Besides the sizzle of the grill, the only other noise came from a mounted television in the corner, which was reporting on a comedian’s recent death.

  “It’s sad,” Andrew stated, “but it’s like the law of thirds.” Two other well-known celebrities had died earlier that summer.

  Andrew and Cal ordered their food—both got gyros—and sat at a nearby table. Cal was nervous, but did his best to make small talk. His heart was racing while Andrew remained calm, cool, and collected. Cal couldn’t help but wonder how Andrew felt: Was he just as nervous?

  A short while later, the two finished dinner and walked back to the parking garage. Cal’s stomach churned as debated reaching for Andrew’s hand during their stroll back to the car, but he was too nervous. Besides, they were out in public and someone might see. Once they reached the parking garage, they settled themselves in Cal’s car and an awkward silence fell upon them. Running out of small talk and not sure what to say next, Cal remained quiet as he drove the vehicle out of the garage. Cal’s sweaty palms clutched the steering wheel as he drove them back the way they came and soon they made their way across a bridge—one of many in the college town. At the end of the bridge Cal would turn right and take Andrew home…or he could turn left and bring Andrew back to his apartment; they had a decision to make.

  “So, do you want me to take you home, or do you want to come over to my place, or…?”

  “Yeah, I’ll come over,” Andrew replied.

  Dusk had begun to fall as Cal and Andrew entered his studio apartment, and Cal gave him a brief tour of his pad. Andrew caught a glimpse of the DVD collection adjacent to the television, and they decided to put on a movie. After Andrew had perused the titles for a few minutes, he selected an older horror movie. Cal set up the film and then settled himself next to Andrew on the tiny twin bed. He was anxious and nervous and paid more attention to Andrew’s movements out of the corner of his eye than to the movie. Gradually, their hands edged closer to one another until Andrew grasped Cal’s clammy palm.

  “Do you want to lie down?” Andrew suggested after several minutes of holding hands and stroking each other’s arms.

  “Yeah, sure,” Cal replied.

  “I like being little spoon,” he stated as he lay his head on a pillow.

  “Cool. I like being big spoon,” Cal responded before he wrapped his arms around Andrew.

  Although he had met Andrew a couple of hours ago, lying with him seemed intimate, as Cal hoped it would. And while they may have just been “acquaintances” at that moment, they soon moved past the awkward small talk and began to open up a bi
t.

  “So, are you out?” he asked after conversing for a bit.

  “Yeah,” Cal said. “How about you?”

  “No, but I’m bi, so I don’t see coming out as a big issue,” Andrew explained. “How about you?”

  “I’m gay,” he informed him.

  “So when we were talking on the app, you said you’re not into hookups. Are you a virgin?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “Like, I’m not saying I’m waiting for marriage, but I want to wait until I’m in a serious relationship with someone.”

  “Aw, that’s cool. That’s what I did,” Andrew said. “I was in a relationship with a guy for a while.”

  “Oh, cool,” Cal replied. “Um, so…were you a top or a bottom?”

  “Well,” he responded with a slight chuckle, “I kind of have a big dick, so I was a bottom. Cause…you know…not everyone can take all of it.”

  They continued talking while watching the movie, but soon talking turned into kissing—passionate kissing. Mouths wide open, hands groping one another, they took their shirts off. Things were moving a little faster than Cal was used to, but it seemed right. Andrew’s hand drifted from Cal’s shoulder to his hips, gripping the waist of his shorts and then casually slipping over his crotch. Cal grabbed his wrist and pulled Andrew’s hand out of his shorts.

  “Oh, did you not want me to touch your dick?”

  “I like to take things slower down there. I want to really get to know somebody before I…you know,” Cal responded before they resumed kissing, which lasted for the rest of the date.

  He drove Andrew home around ten, and the two waved goodbye before they went their separate ways. Cal drove back to his apartment feeling elated, with a huge, naïve smile on his face; he was crushing hard on Andrew.

  The next morning, Cal was woken after nine by a series of nonsensical text messages from Andrew. Despite the random texts, Cal responded.

  Hey what’s up?

  Pregaming te footrball gamw, Andrew replied a few minutes later.

  Oh nice!

  No lol I starrtes too earlty

  Ha ha having fun?

  Andrew did not respond.

  Later that night, Cal was out to dinner with some friends when Andrew finally texted him and explained that he passed out before the game had even started. The two texted on and off for the better part of an hour and soon, Cal was feeling courageous.

  So what’s your schedule like? Maybe we can hang out sometime this week?

  Andrew suggested that they visit the outdoor art murals in the next town over since he would be free that upcoming Friday night and Cal agreed as a wave of eager excitement swept over him.

  However, Friday night came and went and Cal’s excitement morphed into disappointment. Andrew had canceled on him last minute—and with a flimsy excuse: he had gotten back from the gym, didn’t feel like showering, and wanted to watch the football game on TV. Andrew asked if they could reschedule for another day.

  Sure lemme know when you want to.

  Andrew didn’t respond. He didn’t respond for almost an entire month.

  Cal had never experienced anything like this before: disappointment mixed with nausea, and a touch of sadness. What was this feeling? He had only gone out once with Andrew, so why did he feel so let down? Was this what it meant to be crushed?

  That September was uneventful and slipped by slowly. Cal went on several dates with other men, but he never found that instantaneous attraction he had experienced with Andrew. There was simply no chemistry, and it was even harder for Cal to try to find romance elsewhere when all he could think about was Andrew.

  Chapter Three

  Cal grasped the doorknob with a clammy hand and pulled it open.

  “Oh shit,” Cal muttered unintentionally. His stomach sank and his face flushed as he gaped in disbelief at the ghost in front of him.

  Standing there on the porch step was his sister, Claire. She was petite in stature—standing at just over five feet in height with the assistance of a stylish pair of brown high-heeled boots—with dark hair that fell past her slim shoulders and gentle gray eyes almost identical to Cal’s. Her face—which bore minimal makeup—was naturally attractive and resembled that of their mother’s. And standing by Claire’s side was her boyfriend, Andrew.

  Claire had released a squeal of delight as she pursed her glossy plump lips at the same time, which drowned out his cuss. She flung her arms around Cal and hugged him, since she had not seen him in months. Behind her back, Andrew stared with his brown eyes wide in shock. Clearly, he had not expected Cal to reappear in his life either. However, as Claire released Cal from her warm embrace, Andrew masked his surprise.

  “Cal, I want you to meet my boyfriend,” Claire announced with a flirtatious smile toward Andrew. The word boyfriend struck Cal like a slap to the face. “This is Andrew Hall.”

  “Hi, nice to meet you,” Andrew said and extended his hand. He acted convincing as if it were the first time the two men had met each other. Cal shook his hand weakly and stared in blank shock at his former flame.

  “Hi,” Cal replied.

  “Aren’t you gonna tell him your name?” Claire inquired with a puzzled glance at her brother, sensing something was off.

  “I’m pretty sure he already knows who I am,” Cal blurted out with a hint of distaste, which slipped out before he realized what he had said. Now, with Andrew—his little sister’s boyfriend—standing on his parents’ porch, he couldn’t control his words. The lingering heartache he had dealt with over the years had transformed to…anger?

  “What?” Claire asked; Andrew seemed nervous.

  “Uh—I mean, I’m pretty sure he already knows who I am,” Cal replied in a faked, enthusiastic tone as he tried to recover. “You just said my name when you introduced him, duh.”

  Cal’s already flushed face grew even redder as he stammered. It was bad enough that Claire brought home his secret ex, but now he was making an idiot of himself in front of Andrew. Cal’s embarrassment increased when he realized he was still shaking Andrew’s hand.

  “I’m Cal,” he said and released Andrew’s hand. The trio glanced at one another for a moment as they stood at the door, under the flurrying night sky.

  “Um…” Claire began as she shivered in the crisp December air.

  “Oh yeah. Come in. Come in,” Cal said. “Uh, I’m gonna start drinking—I mean, does anyone need…want a drink? No? Okay, I’m just gonna run… I mean, I gotta grab something upstairs—”

  His mother had swooped in to greet Claire’s boyfriend, which allowed Cal to escape up the stairs. As he reached the hallway on the upper level, Cal strode past his father, who had finally exited the bathroom.

  “Everything all right, son?”

  “Oh yeah,” Cal lied. “I just need to…yeah.”

  He hurried into his childhood bedroom, which had recently been turned into the guest room, and shut the door. His parents had repainted the walls a soft cream shade, which had a matching colored bedspread and window curtains. Their rationale was that the neutral colors would provide a relaxing and comfortable environment for their guests. However, Cal was anything but relaxed as he retrieved his phone from his pocket.

  “Hello?” Sophie answered on the third ring.

  “It’s me,” he replied.

  “What’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be having that family dinner tonight?”

  “Yeah, it’s happening right now. Claire’s boyfriend just got here.”

  “Ooh, is he cute?” Sophie wondered playfully.

  “It’s Andrew.”

  “Andrew?” she repeated, unsure of what Cal had meant. “Wait, Andrew? No, you don’t mean—”

  “Fuckface? Yep, it’s him,” he stated.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Well, I can’t be sure. I didn’t get a good look at his dick yet,” Cal snapped. “Of course I’m sure!”

  “Okay, okay. Relax,” Sophie replied.

 
“Sorry, it’s just…ugh, what do I do?”

  “Did he recognize you?”

  “Oh yeah, he seemed just as shocked as I was.”

  “Oh shit” was all Sophie was able to say. She remembered how distraught Cal had been over the Andrew situation three and a half years ago. And while she had never had a turbulent relationship as he apparently did, she could appreciate the resulting heartache from it. She knew feelings like that did not just go away—even three and a half years later. “Well, what happened?”

  “I opened the door, made an idiot out of myself, and then ran upstairs to my old room to call you.”

  “Wait, they just got there and you ran off?” Sophie asked. “You need to go back downstairs.”

  “I know. It’s just, I still… It’s just hard to face him,” Cal muttered. “After everything that happened, you know?”

  “Yeah, I know,” she replied in a tone of genuine sympathy for her friend. “Did he say anything to you?”

  “No, he acted like it was the first time we met.”

  “And you never told your parents or Claire about him?”

  “You’re the only one who knows. I never told them about him,” Cal admitted. If he had told his parents about Andrew years ago, then maybe they would’ve encouraged him to stay in his old college town instead of accepting his first job and moving out of state. Maybe then he would be the one bringing Andrew home to meet his family instead of Claire. But, sad to say, that hadn’t happened and now he had to deal with the consequences. “What do I do?”

  “Well first, you need to go back downstairs,” Sophie reasoned. “Your family will know something’s up if you’re in your room all night.”

  “Ugh, do I have to?” he grumbled.

  “Yes, you do,” Sophie said in a firm tone. “I know this situation sucks, but maybe it’s for the best. Maybe this is the closure you need.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Cal sighed.