A Family Affair

by Rob Loveless

  With the recent appearance of his ex and the accompanying emotional baggage, Cal had come to the conclusion he needed to focus on himself and do what made him happy, whether it was practical or not. And Sophie was right in her assertion that he needed to pay attention to what felt right to him and not always worry about someone else’s feelings.

  These realizations continued to ruminate in Cal’s mind as he arrived at the mall, and once he parked in the crowded parking lot, he pulled out his phone. Cal texted Jacob and told him he was unable to go out for drinks, but he’d be available to get together the following night. Jacob replied a few minutes later, saying he would also be free the following evening, and the two texted on and off while Cal shopped for a new wardrobe.

  Cal arrived at his apartment complex around midafternoon, with his new car and multiple shopping bags filled with assorted stylish apparel. He was exhausted from a busy day of running around and weaving through crowds of Christmas shoppers for a couple of hours at the mall. He plopped his shopping bags in his bedroom, and—while his bank account was drastically emptier—he was fulfilled for a moment. He was pleased with his purchases, and this retail therapy seemed to ease any apprehension he may have had about spending Christmas with Andrew.

  Cal fixed himself a quick sandwich and then shuffled over to his computer. As he ate his late lunch, he browsed through various trendy hairstyles and saved pictures of cuts he liked. After he had selected several hairstyles, Cal spent the rest of the day lounging around his apartment and getting some much-needed relaxation.

  The next morning, he woke at his usual time and headed over to his temporary gym for another daily workout; he did his routine cardio exercises and then chose to work his leg muscles. After Cal was finished at the gym, he returned to his apartment, showered, and then dressed in clean clothes in preparation for his hair appointment.

  A few minutes after nine, Cal drove over to the salon, arriving ten minutes before his appointment time. While he waited in the salon’s lounge, Cal scrolled through various pictures of trendy men’s hairstyles, which he had saved on his phone. Several minutes later, a young stylist named Sky—with metallic blonde hair styled in a choppy bob—entered the lounge and called Cal’s name. He followed Sky back into the suave salon and took a seat at her work station. Cal consulted with her about what type of hairstyle he was interested in and referenced the pictures on his phone. After a few minutes of conversation, the two confirmed what Cal wanted and Sky went to work.

  She started by rinsing Cal’s hair with warm water and massaging an exfoliating conditioner into his scalp. Afterward, Sky dried his hair with a blow drier and then retrieved her hair-cutting tools. She ran an electric razor along the sides and back of Cal’s head and shaved his hair away at various lengths. Next, she took a pair of shears and trimmed his top until an inch or two of hair had been chopped off. Once the stylist finished trimming his hair, she grabbed a razor blade and cleaned up the edges of Cal’s hairline around his ears and the back of his neck. Lastly, she took a small amount of wax, which she ran through Cal’s hair and styled it.

  “All finished,” Sky announced in a chipper voice as she spun Cal around to face the mirror. “What do you think?”

  He gazed into the mirror and eyed his hair. The sides were skintight and faded, starting at practically stubble length at his hairline before increasing in length to the top of his head. The once medium-length hair was now noticeably shorter and was fashioned into a stylish faux hawk, using just enough hair product so it retained a natural look.

  “I love it,” Cal replied with a smile, and he ran a hand along the smooth side—practically identical to the picture he had shown Sky. He thanked the stylist and tipped her generously before he left the salon satisfied.

  Later that day, Cal and Jacob finalized the details for their date that night, deciding to go to see a movie. When the time came for Cal to prepare for their date, he was indifferent. For once, he wasn’t thinking about Andrew, which he welcomed. However, he wasn’t certain he felt any sort of excitement over the idea of going out with Jacob again. Cal was more hopeful this date might allow him to feel something to determine what feelings—if any—he might have.

  As Cal went to grab his coat, he stopped in front of the bathroom mirror to check his hair one more time and smiled at his reflection; he liked his new hairstyle and thought it enhanced his appearance. When he finished staring at himself, he threw on his coat, left his apartment, and drove over to the movie theater, where he met Jacob by the entrance.

  “Oh, I didn’t realize it was you at first,” Jacob commented as Cal strode toward him in the brisk evening air. “New haircut?”

  “Ha ha, yeah,” he replied as he received a hug from his date.

  “It looks great. Very handsome,” Jacob complimented.

  “Thanks,” Cal smiled. “Let’s head inside. It’s freezing out here.”

  The two men entered the movie theater and purchased tickets for a big-budget action film that Cal paid for this time. They headed into the somewhat empty theater and sat in the very last row of abandoned seats. Cal and Jacob conversed before the lights dimmed and the movie began.

  Cal found himself engrossed in the film, which was comprised of an original storyline and critically acclaimed acting. About thirty minutes into the movie, Jacob’s hand brushed up against his on the armrest of the chair. He opened his hand and clasped Jacob’s, and he in turn gently stroked Cal’s hand with his thumb. He stared into Jacob’s eyes, which twinkled as he smiled, and then Cal leaned in and kissed him. For the most part, he was not interested in any sort of public displays of affection—even hand-holding. However, since the theater was practically deserted and there was no one in their near vicinity, Cal dismissed his apprehension as he and Jacob continued to kiss.

  After several moments, the two broke apart and resumed watching the movie while still holding hands. Cal’s heart raced and a warm rush surged through his body, which surprised him. Was he developing feelings for Jacob? Could he maybe actually like him? Cal smiled while he held Jacob’s hand for the remainder of the movie. However, once the film ended he let go of his hand, and they exited the theater.

  “So,” Jacob began as they stepped outside, “I live right around the block. If it’s not too late, want to stop by for a drink?”

  “Yeah, sounds good,” Cal answered without overthinking his decision for once. The two men stepped into their separate cars, and Cal followed Jacob back to his place.

  They parked in a well-lit lot next to the modernized, garden-style apartments, and then hurried upstairs to Jacob’s flat on the second floor, eager to escape the winter chill.

  “What can I get you to drink?” he inquired, as he hung his coat in the closet.

  “Beer is fine,” Cal replied before gazing around. The apartment was sleek and tidily decorated, almost resembling a cozy office space. Still, it had a charming and comfortable feel to it. “You have a great apartment.”

  “Oh, thank you,” Jacob smiled as he entered the living room with two glass bottles and handed one to Cal. “I’ve been here a few years now. I like the location.”

  “Yeah, it seems like it’s in a pretty convenient place, being only a few blocks from the main street. Thanks,” Cal added as he took his beer before Jacob tilted his own bottle upward.

  “Cheers,” he grinned, and clinked his bottle with Cal’s. Then, the two men settled themselves on the sleek leather couch and conversed as they sipped their beverages.

  As Cal reached the bottom of his bottle, he sensed an ever so slight twinge of tipsiness grow inside him. He was no lightweight, so what was the cause of his buzz? Was it the fact that he hadn’t eaten in several hours? Perhaps he was more conscious of his level of sobriety since he was drinking with a date and not a friend. Regardless, Cal finished the last bit of his drink and placed the empty bottle on a nearby end table.

  “Do you want another?” Jacob asked.

  “No, I’m good, but thanks,” he replied.
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br />   “You sure?”

  “Yeah,” Cal said as Jacob took a last swig of beer before he set his own empty bottle to the side. Then, the two men made eye contact, and Cal could not suppress a semi-flirty smile. Jacob returned the smile and slid across the couch to move closer to his date. He placed his hand on the back of Cal’s head and leaned in for a passionate kiss.

  Cal wrapped his arms around Jacob’s welcoming body, and the two men embraced as they continued to kiss. Jacob’s plump lips traveled from Cal’s mouth to his cheek, earlobe, and neck. He reclined back on the couch and exhaled with pleasure as Jacob positioned himself over Cal.

  “You’re really freaking cute,” he remarked as he stroked Cal’s stubbly cheek with his fingers. “And I like your scruff.”

  “Thanks,” Cal laughed. “And you’re really freaking cute too.”

  They gazed into each other’s eyes meaningfully for a moment and then resumed kissing. They held each other close as their passionate embrace grew tighter. Cal’s heart pounded and his groin stiffened with excitement, as his body responded to Jacob’s romantic touch. He realized his mind was completely at ease—without reflecting on ghosts from the past—as a giddy sense of contentment settled over him. Cal was beginning to think he actually liked Jacob, which excited him.

  When was the last time I felt this way? Since Andrew?

  Cal dismissed this thought, unwilling to be reminded of the painful past, as Jacob eased himself off the couch. He stood and lifted Cal, who then wrapped his arms and legs around him. The two continued to kiss as Jacob carried him to the bedroom, and he plopped Cal onto the bed before pulling off his shirt.

  Cal smiled as he discarded his own shirt, and Jacob hugged him tightly as he sank onto the bed next to him. Cal’s arousal—both physically and emotionally—increased by the intimate warmth generated as their soft skin pressed against each other. They lay facing side by side on the cozy bed and wrapped in a tender embrace. Jacob gazed into Cal’s gray eyes and grinned.

  “Did I already tell you you’re really freaking cute?”

  “Hmm, you might’ve mentioned it,” Cal laughed as Jacob held his hand and kissed him on the forehead.

  “Well, it’s true,” he stated.

  “Aw, thank you. You’re really handsome,” Cal complimented.

  “Thanks.” Cal and Jacob cuddled in peaceful silence, completely at ease and enjoying each other’s company. Cal fondled a tuft of Jacob’s light chest hair while Jacob caressed Cal’s arm. In his relaxed state, Cal found himself growing drowsy, but he continued to accept gentle, soft kisses from Jacob. Soon, the kisses intensified, and Cal’s passion was reignited.

  The two were lip-locked, and Cal stroked Jacob’s nipple. He responded by groping Cal’s rump and then rubbed his crotch. Cal’s lips broke away to release a pleasurable moan as he rolled onto his back, welcoming Jacob’s touch. He climbed over Cal and began kissing his neck, chest, and nipples as he gradually worked his way down to his waist. Cal continued to emit sensual groans as he ran his fingers through Jacob’s hair.

  Cal did not believe in casual sex and always strived to save sexual acts for relationships. Despite this belief and his lack of relationships, he had hooked up on occasion in the past, though he was not proud of those encounters. Normally, Cal would not let things progress this far on a second date, but something was different with Jacob. Cal believed he had feelings for him and wanted to continue seeing him in the future. Therefore, he welcomed Jacob’s exploration and appreciation of his body.

  Jacob undid the button to Cal’s jeans and glanced up for nonverbal consent as his fingers played with the waistband of his briefs. Cal accepted his advances as he slid his pants off. Jacob kneeled over him and ran his hands over Cal’s body as their lips met. Cal caressed his toned body until Jacob broke away. He kissed Cal’s waist for a moment before he turned his attention toward his exposed, erect penis. Jacob tantalized his skin as he ran his sensuous tongue around the base before he kissed the head tenderly. Then, he opened his jaw and took Cal into his mouth.

  Cal moaned in response to the erogenous sensations resulting from Jacob’s oral stimulation. He grasped the headboard of the bed and arched his back as Jacob continued to fondle his groin with his tongue and lips. Feeling relaxed and comfortable, Cal began enjoying this intimate moment with his date.

  “Um, I’m getting close,” Cal warned as the arousing stimulation in his groin escalated. Jacob relinquished his erection.

  “Huh?” he asked.

  “I’m getting close,” Cal repeated.

  “Good,” Jacob replied with a playful smile. He massaged Cal’s chest and began kissing his lips before moving his way back down to his waist.

  Jacob once again took Cal into his mouth and ran his tongue along the rim, accompanied by Cal’s moans of enjoyment. After several moments, a warm, tingling sensation formed at the base of his groin, and he arched his back as he ejaculated. Jacob’s mouth remained on his erection, welcoming the orgasm. Cal sighed in gratification as he released the last spurts of semen, but his pleasure was temporary, and a shadow of guilt plagued the bedroom. Despite his supposed feelings for Jacob, Cal felt somewhat shameful for allowing that to happen on their second date. Even worse, he now wished it was Andrew who had gone down on him, his thoughts interfering with his intimate moment with Jacob.

  Jacob lifted his head and smiled; despite Cal’s guilt and unease, he forced himself to smile back. Jacob kissed his mouth and then cuddled him in his arms as he closed his eyes. Cal felt disgusted with himself as Jacob held him and wished to be anywhere else besides that bedroom.

  “You’re such a great guy,” Jacob stated as he kissed him on the cheek.

  “Thanks,” Cal replied in a flat tone of voice, as his shame increased exponentially.

  The two lay on the bed cuddling, Jacob completely content and restful while Cal was screaming inside, frustrated at himself and his irrational emotions. After a while, Cal made the move to leave.

  “It’s getting late. I better go.”

  “Aw, I wish you could stay,” Jacob toyed.

  “I wish I could too,” Cal lied.

  “Well, I’ll walk you out.” The two men dressed and then left the apartment in silence.

  “I’m glad we could hang out again,” Jacob smiled as they reached Cal’s car.

  “Yeah, me too,” he responded.

  “Hopefully, I’ll get to see you again soon.”

  “Yeah, for sure,” Cal replied with a fake grin as Jacob leaned in to kiss him. His lips were warm, tender, and passionate, yet Cal could only continue to taste self-disgust. After several moments, the two broke apart, and Cal drove off into the night.

  He arrived home feeling upset and ashamed, and collapsed on his bed. He was exhausted, yet he could not put his thoughts to rest as he reflected on his date with Jacob. Cal was no prude, but he regretted what had occurred since it made him feel sleazy. Even worse, he began to miss Andrew.

  Bitter tears welled in Cal’s eyes. Feeling like he was leading Jacob on, wishing he was with Andrew, and focusing on how unfulfilled he was in life, Cal could not hold back his sorrow any longer. He let the salty tears stream down his cheeks and stain his pillowcase. After several minutes of silent sobs, Cal’s damp eyes grew heavy with exhaustion, and he fell asleep shortly after.

  Chapter Nine

  Three and a half years earlier

  Weeks rolled by without Cal ever hearing a word from Andrew. He was miserable, though he tried to convince himself that their estrangement was for the best. To no one’s surprise, Cal had been offered the job—which he was unwilling to accept—and he was slated to move to his new apartment the day after graduation. His transition into adulthood was inevitable.

  Despite what seemed to be a promising start to his postgrad life, Cal struggled to get through the remaining days of his semester. Each dreary day seemed to grow more and more gray as autumn dragged on. Cal felt as though he were an empty vessel, existing through each day instead of actu
ally living. He was reminded that he was still alive only by the aching of his heart and the stinging of his eyes as he fought to hold back tears of sorrow at night.

  After he had withdrawn from almost all social activities for two weeks, Cal’s friends managed to convince him to go out to the bars with them on Halloween. Dressed in a Clark Kent costume and a fake smile, Cal forced himself to leave the comfort of his sullen isolation in an attempt to enjoy the company of his friends.

  They arrived at the first bar around ten thirty, had a couple of drinks, and took a few pictures. However, Cal was ready to go home before midnight and left by himself. A light drizzle fell on the chilly October evening as Cal trudged back to his apartment, staring down at his sneakers and weaving through cheery, costumed crowds. He thought it was ironic that he was dressed as a superhero, yet he felt so weak. Even though he had tried to have fun, Cal couldn’t ignore the ache in his chest; everything seemed so dull and pointless.

  Two days later, while sulking in his apartment, Cal received a text from Andrew:

  Hey I saw your Halloween pics on Facebook. You make a damn sexy superman.

  Ha ha thanks.

  Cal wondered what on earth Andrew could possibly want.

  I know I said I didn’t think we should see each other but what if I said I take it back?

  That’s funny, I don’t remember you ever saying that explicitly. All you did was give me a half-assed apology saying you were backing off, Cal recalled. Nevertheless, Andrew’s sudden message had tugged at his heart.

  I got the job though and I graduate in a little over a month. What happens then?

  Let’s cross that bridge when we get there. Like you said, a lot can happen between now and then.

  Cal knew he shouldn’t take the bait. He knew he shouldn’t go out with Andrew again. He knew he would only be left broken, but that didn’t matter because Cal couldn’t resist Andrew.

  The two made plans to have dinner at a local restaurant that upcoming Friday. Although Cal was eager to once again be in Andrew’s presence and experience his seductive touch once more, his heart still ached from his confusion. Andrew said they would figure out their situation once December grew nearer, but the fact of the matter was that Cal would be leaving soon. So what was going to happen to their relationship? Was what they had even considered a relationship? Time was running out.