Saffina Desforges' ROSE RED Crime Thriller Boxed Set

by Saffina Desforges

  Counsellor.

  Terri put the phone to her ear once more.

  “Cass, you’ll never believe what I just did,” the voice opened. “I just told some complete stranger about your birthday gift to me. Oh my God, I feel such a fool.”

  Counsellor! Everything fell into place in Terri’s mind. She took a deep breath. “Not a complete stranger, Pippa.”

  A long silence, then “With whom am I speaking?”

  “It’s Terri. A friend of Red’s.”

  Another long silence. Then, “As in DC Terri Miller?”

  “That’s right. Not Anna. The blonde one.”

  Pippa’s tone was ice cold. “I know exactly who you are. May I speak to Cassandra, please.”

  “She’s in the ladies just now.”

  “Without her mobile? Then I take it she’s not sober.”

  Terri observed a diplomatic silence.

  “May I speak to Anna, or James, please.”

  “Just me and the Guv here,” Terri said. “Hold on, I’ll pass the phone through to her.” She walked across and pushed open the door to the ladies’ restroom, holding the mobile to her ear. “Best you speak to her. That way you can… Oh my God, Guv? Are you okay?”

  Terri ran to where Red sat slumped against the wall, wearing just a bra and jeans. Her jacket was sprawled across the floor. Her vest-top hung out of a basin, dripping coloured water over the floor.

  Red looked up sheepishly at Terri’s voice. “Thank Christ it’s you. For a moment there I thought it was She Who Must be Obeyed.”

  Terri waved the mobile at Red in an attempt to warn her. “There’s a call for you.” She mouthed Pippa for Red’s benefit.

  Red made no attempt to get up. She reached out for the mobile from her slumped position against the wall. “Hi, Hun. Perfect timing. I’m just wrapping up here.” She put her hand over the phone. To Terri, “Pass my vest, will you.” To Pippa, “Is Ruby asleep yet?”

  Pippa’s voice came back loud and slow. “Did you just say pass my vest?”

  Red’s eyes moved slowly from the phone to Terri and back to the phone. “Kevlar?”

  The stony silence assured Red the attempt at humour was wasted. “It’s a long story,” Red slurred into the mobile. “You see, I accidentally broke Terri’s glass with my bottle and my top got clareted, so now I’m in …” Red looked up at Terri. “Now I’m in deep shit. The silly bitch cut me off.”

  Terri wrung the vest out as best she could. “You can’t put this back on, Guv. You’ll have to wear your jacket done up. Come on. Let’s get you a taxi home.”

  Red struggled to her feet, slipping her arms into the jacket. “Home? You’ve got to be kidding. The bitch put the phone down on me.”

  “But Guv…”

  “Help me up. I need another drink.”

  Chapter 67.

  Red flattened a palm against the wall to steady herself, closing one eye. “Nice place. Beats the Dorchester any day of the week,”

  “Yeah, it may not be what you’re used to, Guv, but it’s the only place you’re gonna get tonight.” Terri took Red’s elbow, guiding her to a sitting position on a battered sofa. “So I suggest you quit with the sarcasm.”

  Red sat upright, making a feeble attempt at a salute. Her fingers didn’t quite touch her temple. “Yes, Ma’am.”

  “I’m going to get you some strong black coffee and a quilt. My advice to you is get your head down and sleep this off. You’ll thank me in the morning.”

  Red slipped her jacket off. She looked down. “Some bastard’s stolen my vest!”

  Terri grinned. “You dumped it in a trash can, remember? Wine stained and beyond recovery? I’ve got a t-shirt you can borrow.”

  “Cheers. So what about a night-cap? You must have some Jim Beam or Jack Daniels here to remind you of home, surely?”

  Red tried to hoist an ankle over her knee in a clumsy attempt to remove a boot. She fell forward, giggling. Her hand reached out onto the floor, brushing a pile of magazines. Squinting, Red tried to focus on the titles.

  “Girls and Guns?”

  Terri reappeared with a glass of water and a quilt. “Coffee could be a problem. Clean out. I was supposed to buy some this evening, but someone distracted me. No names mentioned.”

  Red managed sheepish smile. “Anyone we know?” She lay back, thrusting her foot at Terri. “Give us a hand, would you?”

  Terri dropped down on the sofa and picked up Red’s leg, swinging it over her own knees. She unzipped the boot, dropping it to the floor. “And the next one, please. You should try cowboy boots some time, Guv. The real thing, I mean, not the tourists’ versions. You need a Masters to figure out how to get them on and off.”

  “A Masters?”

  Terri looked vacant. “Are they not called that here? Diploma? Degree? I majored in psychology. How about you?”

  Red hesitated. “Oxbridge. I was offered a place at Harvard but refused to go to a college where they spell colour without a u.”

  “Really?”

  Red laughed, playfully punching Terri on the arm. “Nah. I’m pulling your plonker.”

  “Pulling my what?”

  “London expression. University of life, me. Never even got to do my A-Levels.”

  “A-Levels?”

  Red raised her eyes to the ceiling. “An exam. God, it’s like we speak a different language sometimes.”

  Red flung her still-booted leg across Terri’s knee. Picked up the guns magazine. “Girls and Guns.” She looked at Terri through glazed eyes. “Seriously?”

  Terri tugged at the boot. “First held a rifle when I was six years old. A late starter in my neck of the woods. Probably the one thing I really miss this side of the pond. I could not believe how much hassle it was to get a gun here.”

  Red’s mouth fell open. “You have a gun? Here?”

  Terri dropped the boot to the floor, pushing Red’s leg down off her knee. “Not a legal one, but I had to have something. It’s a comfort thing.”

  Red stared at Terri. “You have an illegal firearm in your possession?”

  Terri shifted uncomfortably. “Forget I said that, Guv.”

  Red was grinning from ear to ear. “Seriously? You have a gun?”

  Terri nodded hesitantly. “A Steyr GB, nine mill. When I first came over. A friend of a friend, up in Liverpool. Apparently they’re quite easy to come by there. I honestly didn’t realize what a big deal it was then. Sort of stuck with it now. I mean, I can’t risk dumping it, and I certainly can’t go handing it in. So yeah, I have a gun. A cop with an illegal firearm.”

  Red stretched out, arms high above her head, eyes closed. “I’ve got one too. Maybe you could teach me to shoot.”

  Terri turned slowly to face Red. “Sorry?”

  The sound of light snoring was Red’s only response.

  Chapter 68.

  “Oh. My. God.” Red pushed herself up onto one elbow, bleary eyes taking in the unfamiliar scene. She licked her lips in a vain attempt to produce saliva, the events from the previous evening trickling into her brain like honey off a spoon. Squeezing her eyes shut to block out the daylight, she attempted to separate the fuzzy reality from dream.

  “Hey, sleepyhead,” Terri’s voice filtered through from the bathroom. “I fetched coffee when I picked up the papers. You’re front page news by the way! Fix me an Americano will you? How’s your head?”

  Red pushed herself off the sofa, the room spinning. “What is this? Starbucks?”

  In the kitchenette Capital FM droned in the background. Too loud, Red thought. But she couldn’t muster the energy to turn it down. She filled the white plastic kettle with water. Blurry eyes scoured the kitchen for a coffee maker of some description. There was a copy of Girls and Guns open on the fridge as Red went for the milk. Her hand veered from the fridge door to the magazine. Forget the milk. Two Americanos. She flicked through a few pages. American girls, mostly in cowgirl outfits, but with weapons most definitely from the modern world. Red smiled to herself. What
would Barry Taylor make of that?

  “Texas Tess,” she said out loud to herself.

  Terri’s voiced drifted through from the corridor connecting bathroom and bedroom. “What was that?”

  “Nothing. One black coffee, coming right up,” Red shouted over the hiss of the kettle.

  “Bring it through, please.”

  As she poured the hot water Red’s mind returned to the previous evening, trying to make sense of competing memories, blurred by residual alcohol and the drumbeat thumping like a Pink Floyd track with the bass on full. Snippets of conversation. “A Steyr GB, nine mill. I honestly didn’t realize what a big deal it was then. Sort of stuck with it now. So yeah, I have a gun. A cop with an illegal firearm.”

  Or did she dream that bit?

  Red hoped she’d dreamt it.

  Then she thought of Bill’s gun – at home in the ottoman. She hoped she hadn’t.

  Terri’s Americano in one hand, the gun magazine in the other, Red navigated the tiny corridor. She turned sideways to use an elbow to push open the door to Terri’s bedroom. She turned back and stopped dead. She was dreaming again, that was for sure.

  Red closed her eyes tight, then opened them again.

  No dream.

  Terri was bent forward, toweling dry her dark blonde hair, but Red’s eyes were elsewhere. Pippa’s words came back crystal clear. “How is it, out of a team of experienced, time-served detectives, you happen to choose the Jessica Alba lookalike with a mane of blonde hair and a backside that could crack walnuts?”

  Red tried to keep the smile off her face. She quietly backed out of the room, pulling the door to, leaving just enough gap to see through. One last look.

  Red cleared her throat. hovering on the landing. “Coffee’s served. You still want it in there?”

  “I’ll be right out.”

  Red ducked back into the living room and flopped onto the sofa. Took a long draw of coffee, the hangover temporarily forgotten. She would never look at walnuts in the same way again.

  “Wonderful. Caffeine.” Terri threw a t-shirt at Red. “Here, you’d better wear this.”

  Red picked up the blue and white t-shirt, holding it up to the light. Anything but look Terri in the eye. “Thanks, but don’t you have anything less… You know, something plain white?”

  “Sorry. All went to the launderette yesterday. I pick it up this afternoon on the way home.”

  Terri’s backside was temporarily forgotten. Red pulled the t-shirt over her head with a resigned expression. “Maybe it’ll take the Super’s mind off my other faux-pas.”

  Chapter 69.

  Terri Miller held open the briefing room door for her DCI. “Deep breaths, Guv. The aspirin will kick in soon.”

  “They’d better. My head feels like it’s gonna explode.”

  “Morning, Guv,” Taylor spluttered through a mouthful of bacon sandwich. “Car broken down?”

  Red held her hand up. “Not so loud, Barry. And no, my car is fine.”

  Taylor shot a victorious smile at Jez Harris. “One down. So a late night, then, was it, Guv?” Taylor slurped coffee from a Costa cup clutched between his chubby fingers. “Very sensible getting a lift in, in that case. Wouldn’t do for our DCI to get stopped by the rozzers, would it.”

  “That will do, Barry,” Red said. Taylor’s mindless banter was the last thing she needed this morning. She glanced at the clock. Blake’s summons would be coming through any time now.

  “Mac and Anna are bringing drinks, Guv. Looks like you could do with one,” Harris offered helpfully. His eyes dropped to Red’s chest, lingering thoughtfully, then moved slowly to Terri and back to Red.

  Taylor sported a smug smile. He raised his paper cup. “I reckon you could do with a proper coffee, Guv, not that gnat’s piss we get served here.” He reached into his pocket. “Here Jez, get the Guv a double espresso from Costa.”

  Red slid her eyes at Taylor. “Oh yes? Since when did your salary run to buying double espressos?”

  Taylor’s smug smile extended wider. “You know me, Guv. Generosity is my middle name.”

  “Funny how I missed that.And I take it that you have some leads for me, Barry, from the way you appear to be enjoying a very relaxed breakfast.”

  Taylor’s toothy grin returned, revealing a half eaten strand of bacon. “I’ll fill you in when you’ve finished with The Super, Guv. He wants you in his office as soon as you get here.”

  Red grimaced at Terri Miller.

  “Probably gonna pin a medal on your chest, Guv,” Taylor said. “Now you’re famous an’ all. I’ll come with you if you like and hold them steady.”

  Red eyed Taylor with practiced disdain. “Famous? Medal?”

  “You made the TV news last night, Guv. Trying to save that jumper on the ledge. In fact, you could say you made almost as big a splash as she did.”

  Anna and Mackenzie appeared in timely fashion with a tray of steaming cups.

  “Morning, Guv. Car broken down?” Mackenzie asked nonchalantly. “Or just a busy night?”

  Red exchanged glances with Terri.

  “My fault. I saw you and Terri arrive together,” Anna explained apologetically. “Mentioned it to the lads here when I came in. Of course they immediately had to create a conspiracy theory to match the evidence. Sorry, Guv.”

  Red looked bewildered at Anna.

  Mackenzie looked to Taylor and Harris. “So who won?”

  Red stared at Mackenzie. “Won?”

  Mackenzie passed a cup to Red. “There you go, Guv. Get yer laughing gear round that.”

  Red declined to take the cup. “You were saying, Jim?”

  “You should’ve taken up my offer, Guv. That stuff goes through ya like a dose of salts.”

  Red ignored Taylor. “Jim? You were saying?”

  Mackenzie used the coffee dispersal to avoid eye contact with Red. “We all had a different theory, Guv,” he said sheepishly. “Stuck in a fiver each. Winner takes all.”

  “Not me, Guv,” Anna chimed in quickly. “I had nothing to do with it.”

  Red swung her gaze between Mackenzie, Taylor and Harris. “Obviously you won, Taylor. Hence the uncharacteristic generosity over the double espresso. I thought that was too good to be true.” She turned to Mackenzie. “And I suppose I should be grateful you only thought my car had broken down, Jim.”

  Red moved her gaze to Harris, “Jez? Et tu, brute? I presume you’ll be sharing the winnings with Barry. Seven-fifty each, is it?”

  Taylor snorted loudly. “Not a chance. It’s all mine. I just put two and two together. Solid detective work. Obviously you were out celebrating last night. Alcohol still in your blood this morning, so you buzzed Tex’ for a lift in, just to be on the safe side. So simple even Jez Harris could have worked it out. Oh no, maybe not.” To Harris, “Gonna tell the Guv your theory, Jezza?”

  Harris’s cheeks began to colour. “I… That is…”

  Red folded her arms and leant back against the desk. A deep sigh. “Let’s hear it then, Jez. You know full well Barry’s going to make sure I do, one way or another. May as well get it over with now.”

  Anna and Mackenzie suddenly found important paperwork to be dealing with. Taylor stood beaming inanely at Harris. Harris took a long, long drink of coffee.

  “Me and Nikki were in a taxi last night and saw you and Terri coming out of the pub,” he said eventually.

  Red nodded in resigned fashion. “And…”

  “I figured… That is, I jokingly suggested, that maybe you’d had a barney with Pippa and you had spent the night at Terri’s.”

  Red struggled to keep her face expressionless, weighing her options. She made a decision. A sacrificial lamb. She’d make it up to Harris later.

  “So let me get this straight, Sherlock,” she said quietly. “You see two people come out of a pub after a quiet drink and, applying your best detective skills, you deduce one of them has had an argument with their partner and needs to stay at the home of the other. I mean, seriousl
y, Jez, is that it?”

  Harris looked nervously from Red to Terri, then to Taylor.

  Taylor grinned back, enjoying Harris’s discomfort. “Tsk, tsk, Jezza. I can see I’ve still plenty to teach you about basic investigative skills.”

  Harris glared at Taylor. Taylor’s grin widened in response. “You really are a thick bastard, Jez. Hopeless!”

  Harris thumped his half-empty coffee mug on the desk. “Bollocks. I’m as good a detective as anyone here.”

  Taylor produced the three five pound notes from his pocket and rubbed them between forefinger and thumb just below Harris’s nose. “Not according to this, sunshine. Fifteen lovely smackeroonies. All mine.”

  Harris stared in desperation at Red. “This isn’t fair, Guv.”

  Red returned his gaze, unsure how to respond. “Jez?”

  Harris stared back, his face a picture of turmoil, his eyes never leaving Red’s. Silence.

  Red drew a deep breath. A resigned glance at Terri. Then Red took the three five pound notes from Taylor’s fingers. She handed them to Harris.

  Taylor struggled to perch his ample backside comfortably on a desk. “Guv?”

  “Pippa and I had a disagreement last night,” Red said slowly. “As a result of which I had a few drinks too many and ended up sleeping at Terri’s place last night.” She paused for this information to be processed by everyone present. “On her sofa, Barry. Alone.”

  “End of story,” Terri added. “The Guv had quite a day yesterday, as you all know. After a few drinks there was no way she could drive, and we both agreed it would be best not to disturb the children by turning up at home late at night the worse for wear.” She ran her eyes slowly across Taylor, Harris and Mackenzie, daring them to challenge her version of events. “That’s not a crime, is it? Or are the laws different here in the UK?”

  Mackenzie and Anna returned to the conversation.

  “Congratulations, Jez,” Anna said. “A combination of being in the right place at the right time, and a lucky guess. But who cares, so long as you get a result? You’ll be buying the first round tonight, I trust?”