The Silent Cry

by Cathy Glass

  Eventually, having heard nothing by eleven o’clock that evening, I went to bed, but I only dozed fitfully as I was aware that the telephone could ring at any time, or even the doorbell if the police just arrived with the child, which had happened before. At 6 a.m., after a restless night, I declared the night over and switched on my bedside radio. I had no idea if Tracy had been found and was on her way to me, or if she was still missing. At 6.30 I showered and dressed just in case she arrived. Then, once Adrian and Paula were up, I had to tell Adrian we were still expecting Tracy so we couldn’t go out. Thankfully he was happy to play in the garden again and Paula just went along with her older brother. The morning passed with no news and then, just before midday, the telephone rang.

  ‘I’m going to collect Tracy now,’ her social worker said with a sigh. ‘We should be with you by three o’clock.’

  ‘Good,’ I said, relieved. ‘I’ll see you later.’

  She didn’t offer details of where Tracy had been found this time, and I didn’t ask. She sounded pretty fed up. Little wonder, I thought, with the run-around Tracy had given her. So the children and I settled in for another day of playing at home, which meant that effectively we’d been in waiting for Tracy for two days. However, by 4.45, when there was still no sign of her, I was frustrated and Adrian was asking if we could take his bike to the park. I waited until five o’clock, then telephoned the social services and asked to speak to Tracy’s social worker.

  ‘She’s not in the office,’ her colleague said. ‘She’s been out on a case all day. Can I help you?’ I assumed the case was Tracy.

  I gave her my name, said that I was a foster carer and I’d been expecting Tracy to arrive nearly two hours ago, but I hadn’t heard anything.

  ‘Is Tracy still going into foster care then?’ she asked.

  ‘As far as I know,’ I said. ‘I was told by her social worker to expect her at three o’clock. I’ve been waiting in all day,’ I added for good measure.

  ‘I’ll see if I can get hold of Tracy’s social worker,’ she said. ‘If I can I’ll ask her to phone you.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  Another hour passed before Tracy’s social worker finally telephoned. ‘Sorry, I haven’t had a chance to update you. It’s been manic all day. Tracy is staying with her older sister for now, so we won’t be needing the foster placement. I’ll inform the office.’

  ‘OK. Thanks for letting me know,’ I said, with only a touch of sarcasm, and we said goodbye.

  What a waste of time and resources, I thought. Apart from the police and social worker’s time, I’d been on standby when I might have been looking after another child. There is always a shortage of foster carers. But as I said, you have to be flexible in fostering and sometimes bite your tongue. Now I was no longer needed for Tracy, my name would be put on the whiteboard again at the social services’ office, but which child would arrive and when I didn’t know. It’s a sad fact that there is usually a bit of a lull in the number of children taken into care during the long summer holidays, and when the schools return and teachers start to notice bruises or a child behaving oddly or even disclosing abuse, the number of referrals rises. But for now I would make the most of the rest of the week – the last few days of the summer holidays.

  ‘Who would like to go to the zoo tomorrow?’ I asked Adrian and Paula.

  ‘Meeeeeee!’ Adrian cried in excitement.

  ‘Meeeee!’ Paula repeated, with no idea what she was agreeing to.

  Adrian told her: ‘They have grizzly bears with big teeth and claws, snakes that can strangle you, alligators and lions that eat you. Grrrr!’ he said, clawing his hands and stalking her.

  ‘Grrrrr,’ she repeated, laughing, and not the least bit scared.

  I sincerely hoped that I didn’t receive a telephone call from the social services to say a child was in need of a home, for it’s very difficult to say no, yet I couldn’t bear the look of disappointment on the faces of Adrian and Paula if another outing had to be cancelled.

  That evening, after the children were in bed and there’d been no phone call from the social services, I telephoned a friend of mine whose son was a friend of Adrian’s (he went to his birthday party), and whose daughter was a similar age to Paula. I asked her if she’d like to join us on our trip to the zoo. She jumped at the opportunity as she had no other plans, and we made arrangements to meet in our cars at the end of my road at 9 a.m. The following morning when I told Adrian they were coming too, he was delighted, as I knew he would be – having a friend for company adds to the fun of any outing, even grocery shopping! Before we left the house that morning I checked I’d switched on the answerphone so that if the social services did telephone they could leave a message. If there was an emergency placement then they’d have to find another foster carer. Today I was concentrating on my family.

  My friend’s car was already waiting at the end of the road and I parked behind her and got out. After a quick discussion on the best route to the zoo she said she’d follow me, as she wasn’t sure about some of the route. The zoo was about a forty-five-minute drive away. We returned to our cars and headed off. As I drove Adrian kept watch through the rear window to make sure we didn’t lose them, although of course I could see their car in my mirror, but it was part of the fun. Paula kept turning to look too, but being that much smaller she couldn’t see over her car seat. The journey went well and when we arrived we parked in the zoo’s car park, let the children out and then, armed with the strollers and bags containing nappies and so forth for the girls, we paid at the turnstile and amid great excitement went in.

  The weather was perfect for a day that involved lots of walking outside – warm, but with some cloud cover so it wasn’t too hot, although we still put sunscreen on the children. The zoo is set in acres of countryside so the animals are free to roam in large enclosures, which is much kinder than keeping them in cages and replicates their natural habitats as much as possible. Cars aren’t allowed in the grounds so it’s a safe place for children, and the boys ran ahead (although they knew they weren’t to go out of our sight), while the girls toddled beside us. My friend and I chatted in between admiring the animals and discussing the facts we learned about them with the children. There were information boards dotted around the park by the enclosures, and I think we all learned something new. The apes, monkeys and chimpanzees were of course fascinating with their human-like characteristics, and we spent a long time just standing and watching them; they held eye contact with us, which was a bit unsettling. But when the female baboons turned around to expose their bright-red bottoms the boys fell about laughing, and the girls were pointing. Of course it’s guaranteed with any visit to see animals that at some point a pair will become amorous. Today it was the goats’ turn – one buck was very persistent and enthusiastic in trying to mount a doe, but she wasn’t interested.

  ‘Look, Mummy,’ Adrian’s friend said loudly. ‘That goat wants to play piggyback but his friend won’t let him.’

  ‘I know the feeling,’ a man beside us quipped. My friend and I laughed, but his wife told him off.

  ‘They’re trying to make babies,’ my friend explained quietly to the boys.

  The boys glanced at each other, looked embarrassed and then dissolved into laughter. The girls had no idea what was funny but laughed too.

  We stopped for lunch in the zoo’s café at one o’clock and then continued going round the rest of the enclosures. By five o’clock we’d seen most of the animals and everyone was exhausted; the girls were now asleep in their strollers, so we decided to head for the exit. We stopped off at the gift shop and bought a small souvenir each and then returned home in our convoy of two cars. At the top of my road we parted company, tooting our car horns and with all the children waving vigorously. We’d had a really good day out and despite feeling tired I felt refreshed from the change of scenery after two days at home.

  As soon as we stepped into the hall I saw that the answerphone light was flashing, signalling
a message. ‘Perhaps it’s Daddy,’ Adrian said hopefully.

  ‘I doubt it. He’ll be at work,’ I said. He didn’t usually phone during the week because of the time difference. But Adrian was still looking at the phone expectantly, so I pressed the play button. Samson’s social worker’s voice came through: ‘Cathy, could you give me a ring, please?’ Adrian immediately lost interest and went down the hall while I listened to the rest of the message. ‘We’re going to court next week for an order to bring Samson into care. I wanted to check that you are still happy to look after him. Could you phone when you are free, please?’

  It was too late to telephone now – their offices would be closed – so I’d phone when they opened in the morning. Although I was still happy to look after Samson, I was sad that it had come to this and he had to be brought into foster care. It meant that, despite all the support the social services and other agencies had put into the family, their situation had deteriorated, and there was now no alternative but to bring him into care for his own good – assuming, of course, that the judge granted the order. Unlike under a Section 20 (of the Children’s Act), also known as Accommodated, when parents agree to place their child in care voluntarily and there is no court case, the fact that the social services were going to court meant that Samson’s family didn’t agree with their decision and were fighting to keep him. And who could blame them? I knew Samson’s home life wasn’t perfect, but they were his only family, and to remove any child from home and split up the family is heartbreaking and a decision that is never taken lightly.

  That evening when the children, tired from all the walking, were in bed asleep and I was thinking of going to bed soon, Shelley telephoned. ‘I thought you’d like to know how the choir is going,’ she said.

  ‘Yes, please.’ I sat up and shook off the sleep.

  ‘It’s great! I love singing with all the others and I’ve met someone! I’m dating!’ I could hear the excitement in her voice and knew this was the real reason she’d telephoned.

  ‘That’s fantastic,’ I said. ‘I am pleased for you. Tell me all about him.’

  ‘He’s a really, really nice person, Cathy, and good-looking. I can’t believe my luck. He hasn’t met Darrel yet; I’m waiting until I’m completely sure of him. But I have met his parents. They’re lovely too and they all sing. I think they liked me.’

  ‘Is this the lad from the choir?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes. How did you know?’

  ‘I think you might have mentioned him the last time I saw you.’

  ‘Yes, possibly. I thought he was cool right from the start. I guess I was hoping he’d ask me out. He’s two years older than me and he works for an IT firm, so he knows lots of stuff about computers. He has a car and he collects me from my flat and …’ Shelley continued telling me all about him: his work, hobbies, favourite food, tastes in and love of music, the football team he supported and that he went to church. When she’d finished I felt I knew as much about him as she did. I could tell it was serious and that she was falling in love.

  ‘I’m going to tell Carol all about him when I see her on Sunday,’ Shelley added.

  ‘She’ll be as pleased as I am,’ I said. ‘I’ll look forward to meeting him when you’re ready.’

  ‘Oh yes, you and Carol will be the first to meet him. Well, my friend has already met him, but that’s different because she babysits for me and he gives her a lift home after. I can’t believe how my life has changed in the last six months! I’m so happy, Cathy.’

  ‘You deserve it,’ I said. ‘You’re a lovely person and by the sound of it he is too. You make a good match.’

  ‘Thank you. He is really nice. But enough of me and what I’ve been doing. How are you guys?’

  ‘We’re all fine, thank you. Getting ready for going back to school. How’s Darrel?’

  ‘He’s good. He starts school next week.’

  We chatted for a while longer and then wound up. ‘Give Adrian and Paula my love,’ Shelley said.

  ‘I will, and wish Darrel well on his first day at school. We’ll be thinking about him.’

  ‘Thank you. I’m more nervous than he is. It’ll be strange not having him around during the day, but I’m sure he’ll be fine.’

  We said goodbye and I replaced the handset, still smiling and happy for her. Shelley was such a kind, good-natured, gentle person, she deserved all the happiness on offer. By the sound of it her young man was a genuinely nice guy, so I hoped their relationship would develop. I hadn’t told her I’d spoken to her social worker earlier in the week, as it would have raised the question why, and of course my conversation about Laura had been confidential. I wondered if Andy or Geraldine had telephoned the social services and, if so, how they’d got on, but I wouldn’t phone and ask them. If they wanted me to know they’d tell me, and before long I’d have my hands full looking after Samson.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Last Resort

  I didn’t have to telephone Samson’s social worker in the morning as I’d planned to do; she phoned me as soon as she was at her desk, at 8.45. ‘You got my answerphone message?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes. I can look after Samson,’ I confirmed.

  ‘Good. I need to show the judge that I have a suitable foster carer ready if the court grants the order. Can I confirm a few details with you? You’re married, and you have two children. What are their ages?’

  ‘Adrian is five and Paula is sixteen months.’

  ‘And you’d be able to take Samson to school and collect him? He’s been going to breakfast club, so he could continue with that if it helps.’

  ‘Yes, that would help. I could take him first and then take Adrian after. We’ll have to work something out for the end of the day.’

  There was a pause as she wrote. ‘At present Samson has supervised contact with his father once a week, on a Friday, at the family centre. We’ll have to make separate contact provision for him to see his gran and possibly the aunts too. It would take place after school at the centre, so you’d be able to take and collect him?’

  ‘Yes.’ This was expected of foster carers and was one of their roles.

  ‘If necessary, you’d be able to keep Samson long term?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, although I’d need to check with my husband, but I can’t see a problem. I’ll mention it to him the next time he phones.’

  She wrote again. ‘And you can obviously manage his behaviour.’

  ‘I will do my best,’ I said. She gave a small laugh. ‘Can I ask why you’ve decided to bring Samson into care?’ I now asked.

  ‘His gran’s poor health and lack of mobility means she can’t meet his needs or cope with his behaviour. There is no one else in the immediate family willing to take responsibility for him or look after him, so he’s just been left to run riot. The police have been logging complaints from residents on the estate when he’s been out at night causing trouble. Last week they picked him up with a gang of older youths armed with tools for breaking into houses. We’re also concerned that no one in the family spotted the abuse by his father’s girlfriend. It had been going on for some time. So generally the whole situation has deteriorated. We’re going to court next Wednesday and, assuming the order is granted, we’re planning to move him to you after contact on Friday.’

  ‘All right, I’ll be ready.’

  ‘Thank you. I’ll phone beforehand.’

  With only three days before the start of the new school term, I checked Adrian’s school uniform and games kit and that his book bag was ready. I’d already bought him new school shoes. It’s always a wrench returning to school after the long summer holidays, and while Adrian was looking forward to seeing his classmates again he was understandably anxious at the prospect of a new class teacher with different ways of doing things. I knew Paula would miss having him at home to play with, and I’d miss him too, as well as the relaxing routine of the holiday. The weather seemed to sense that the school holidays were drawing to a close and the autumn term wa
s about to begin. On Saturday the temperature dropped and a chilly north-easterly wind began to blow, bringing rain. We spent the day indoors, and then on Sunday my parents came for dinner. We had a pleasant day, although they didn’t stay late, as they knew we had to be up reasonably early for school the following morning.

  Adrian took a long while to go to sleep that night; I think he was worrying about school, although he wouldn’t tell me. Then on Monday morning he took ages getting dressed and didn’t want his breakfast because he said he had a tummy ache. I knew it was a nervous tummy ache, so I gave him a big cuddle and reassured him that all his friends would be feeling the same way and once he was there he would be fine. I said we’d be thinking of him and that the day would fly by and before he knew it he would be home again. He managed a small, unconvincing smile, ate a little of his breakfast and then went very quiet as he brushed his teeth and put on his school shoes. The weather didn’t help – it was raining again, so I had to find our raincoats and then fit the rain cover over the stroller, which Paula didn’t like as it restricted her vision; she kept trying to kick it off. As a result we left the house later than we should have done and had to walk quickly. Not the best way to start the new school year!