She growled and slammed her hands down on the sofa cushions. “Stop thinking about him!”
Turning the television volume up, in hopes of drowning out the voices in her head, Carolyn was determined to enjoy her afternoon.
Ice cream. That’s what I need. I need some ice cream.
She stood, but when she walked past the window, she slowed, surprised to see Lincoln’s car in front of the house.
“What is he still doing here?”
Concern crawled through her body. What if something was wrong with him? He hadn’t looked too good when he was standing at the door.
Carolyn stuffed her feet into a pair of boots. Snatching a coat from the closet, she rushed out the door. She might’ve been pissed at him, but she didn’t wish him harm.
God, please let him be okay.
As she hurried down the walkway, she couldn’t see inside his vehicle thanks to the dark tint. She moved around to the driver’s side and before she could knock on the window, it slid down.
Words escaped her now that she was so close to him. Eyes that usually held a sexy intensity, were beet red and withdrawn. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days.
With a heavy sigh, she asked, “What do you want from me, Lincoln? One minute you make me feel like I’m the most important person in the world, and then the next minute … you’re embarrassed to have me around your associates.” She choked out the last few words, emotion clogging her throat. “I don’t like games … especially when it comes to my heart. So please, just go. Just go home and leave me alone.”
“I can’t. Not until we talk. Give me ten minutes. Either I can come in or you can climb into my car, but I’m not leaving until you hear me out.”
Seconds ticked by. Carolyn shivered when the wind picked up, and snow flurries fluttered around. She bit her bottom lip debating on whether or not to listen to what he had to say.
“You can come in.”
When they were inside the house, Lincoln remained near the door until she offered him a seat in the family room. The heaviness in Carolyn’s heart grew thicker as she watched him. The strong, confident man she had fallen in love with sat before her looking defeated. If he didn’t care about her, he wouldn’t be this affected by her anger.
“I’m sorry.” His tired gaze met her eyes. “Sweetheart, I am so sorry if I made you feel as if you weren’t good enough for me. If anything, I’m the one who isn’t good enough for you. I have acted like a damn fool and I’ll never be able to apologize enough to you for that.”
Rising, he moved to the bay window and stared out. When he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his pants, his shoulders sagged as if holding the world upon them.
“It’s true. I didn’t want to take you to the Christmas party last night. I convinced myself that I was protecting you from a room full of high-society snobs. Truth is, I was the only snob in attendance.”
The anguish pouring from him broke Carolyn’s heart. She had never seen him like this and hoped to never witness it again. He turned to her, his eyes still troubled.
“You have every right to be mad at me. I hate myself for letting you down and treating you the way that I did.”
“Why, Lincoln? Why does what I do for a living or my lack of education bother you so much?”
“I am a third-generation college graduate. Like integrity and family first was instilled into the Jenkins family, in our family, it was all about getting a good education. I grew up believing that the only way to be successful in life was if you had a college degree and a good career.” Closing his eyes, he rubbed his forehead before returning his attention to her. “Carolyn, I was so wrong. I’m ashamed at my behavior.”
It was as if his declaration had taken the last of his energy, and he leaned against the wall for support.
She reached for him. “Lincoln, come and sit down.” She patted a spot on the sofa next to her, but kept distance between them. She appreciated his apology, but needed more from him.
“I’m sure this doesn’t matter now, but before you got up to sing last night, I was telling Pamela that I was going to have to leave. I wasn’t enjoying myself, or the people around me because my better half wasn’t there. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“Then why were you there with her?”
“Carolyn, I wasn’t on a date. We just rode together. You’re the only woman for me. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I mean that. When Vicky died, I never in a million years thought I’d ever find the type of love I shared with her. But then you came along, and I feel as if I can’t breathe when you’re not around.”
Carolyn couldn’t explain why, but she believed he was sincere. At the moment, his apology didn’t change the hurt he had caused, still she was glad to know that she hadn’t read him wrong. He was an honorable man who made a terrible choice, a choice that had broken her heart.
“After Vicky died, I didn’t attend parties, go to barbecues … basically, I didn’t socialize. I didn’t want to see pity in my friends’ eyes, especially those who were married or had mates. Then you came into my life and I found myself sticking my chest out a little. Wanting to show you off. I was with the sexiest and funniest woman I’d ever met. You made me feel like the big man on campus. But that part of me … the part who thought having a college degree or an influential career made a person more impressive, crept in.”
Carolyn lunged out of her seat. “That’s what I don’t understand! You are one of the most intelligent men I know. I can’t believe you walked around thinking like that!”
He leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs and his hands folded in front of him as he stared down at the floor. Eventually he met her gaze again. “I’m not perfect, Carolyn.”
His words almost knocked her over. That was where she’d messed up. She had been so caught up with his accomplishments, his good looks, and how special he made her feel, that she had placed him on some type of pedestal.
He was right. He wasn’t perfect.
She dropped down on the sofa, the lack of sleep catching up to her.
“My screwed-up view about having a good education and career overshadowed what I know for sure.” His gaze went to the window and he sat silent.
When it seemed as if he was done talking, Carolyn asked, “And what’s that? What do you know for sure?”
He glanced down at her hand, which was on the cushion between them, and covered it with his hand. “That you can have all the degrees in the world and more money than you can spend in a lifetime, but if you don’t have the love of your life by your side, you have nothing.”
Tears clouded her eyes.
“You are everything a man could want. Intelligent, fun-loving, kind, and considerate. People enjoy being around you. They love you. I love you … just the way you are. I don’t care what you do for a living as long as you’re doing something you enjoy. And if I’m any example, clearly having letters behind your name doesn’t necessarily make you smarter than the next guy.”
Tears trickled down her face and Carolyn didn’t bother wiping them away. He was saying everything she needed to hear. For a person who normally didn’t care what people thought of her, his opinion mattered more than she cared to admit.
“I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I swear if you give me one, I will spend the rest of my life proving how much I love you. I will show you that I’m worthy of your love. Will you give me … give us, another chance?”
Carolyn nodded and went willingly into his outstretched arms. Maybe she was giving in too easily, but she believed him and refused to waste another day being angry.
“I love you so much.” He wiped her tears and showered her with kisses.
“I love you, too.”
Epilogue
A week later
Christmas Eve
“I’ll be right back,” Lincoln whispered close to Carolyn’s ear so that she could hear him over the music. He held up his cell. “Shannon is on the phone wanting to kno
w our travel itinerary.”
“Okay.” She accepted his quick kiss, a tingle scurrying up her back. She didn’t know it was possible to be this happy. Running out of that hotel and away from him last weekend, she thought she had lost the best thing that had ever happened to her. Now their relationship was stronger than ever. They, along with Lincoln’s son, Brandon, were heading to California the day after Christmas to spend two weeks on the West Coast with Shannon.
Carolyn returned her attention to the packed dance floor. The Jenkins family Christmas Eve plans had come together seamlessly. The oversized-room had been converted into a winter wonderland with a light blue, white, and silver color scheme providing an elegance that was perfect for the occasion. Carolyn had taken some of the ideas from the party that she and Ben had attended and brought them back to the design committee—which consisted of her, Jada, Toni, and Christina. She couldn’t ever remember the room looking as beautiful as it did tonight.
Over a hundred family members and friends had turned out, and Katherine couldn’t have been happier. Her mother had been fluttering around the room all night ensuring that their guests were having a good time. She had already mentioned to Carolyn that she wanted the Christmas Eve event to be an annual tradition.
“We have a special request tonight,” the band’s lead vocalist said. The band slowed the music down and people cleared the dance floor except for one. Steven Jenkins.
Carolyn’s father, looking suave in his tuxedo, stood in the middle of the dance floor. Tall and built like a linebacker, there were days she couldn’t believe he was almost eighty years old. He could easily pass for a man in his late fifties or early sixties.
“Where is Katherine?” his booming voice carried around the room. “Someone find her.”
“Here she is.” Christina walked in with her.
Katherine glided toward the dance floor, like the queen she was, in a flowing, red evening gown and went straight to her husband. He pulled her close and kissed her sweetly just as the band started playing. Carolyn immediately recognized the song that her parents had dubbed their song—Ella Fitzgerald’s “At Last”.
Her heart swelled as she watched her parents move across the floor staring into each other’s eyes. She had always loved watching them dance, even as a child. They were the perfect example of the type of love she wanted with her mate. She found it inspiring that after almost sixty years of marriage, raising seven children, and owning several businesses, they were still in love.
“May I have this dance?”
Carolyn startled and glanced up to find Lincoln standing over her, his outstretched hand waiting for her to grab hold. He flashed a crooked grin that sent heat flooding through her. She didn’t care how much time she spent with him, his presence still did wicked things to her body.
“I would love to dance with you.”
He escorted her to the dance floor and shook her father’s hand before pulling her into his arms.
“God, you smell good.”
“I figured if I did, maybe you’d want to get close to me.” He nuzzled her neck, knowing she couldn’t think straight when his mouth was anywhere on her body.
“I always want to be close to you.”
“I’m glad to hear that. And speaking of hearing things … why didn’t you tell me there’s a support group for men who date Jenkins women?”
Carolyn laughed. “What? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Who told you that?”
“Paul and Toni’s husband, Craig, mentioned it to me a few minutes ago. They were sharing some stories of the hell their Jenkins women put them through before they married them. Craig said I probably need to join the group. Somehow they heard about how you told me off in the hallway of a luxury hotel.”
Carolyn shook her head, laughing. “All the Jenkins women are docile angels. Why would a support group be needed?”
“Uh huh, yeah. I’ve heard some of the stories and I’m afraid. I’m very afraid.”
“Baby, you have nothing to worry about. Now when I was Toni and Martina’s age …” She shook her head at the memories, not wanting to even go there. “Let’s just say you have a new and improved Jenkins woman.”
“Well, I don’t care if you’re new or improved because I’m madly in love with you.”
A comfortable silence fell between them and Carolyn sighed. The last couple of months had been like a dream that she didn’t want to wake from. Every so often she thought about how she hadn’t wanted to go out with Lincoln. Now she was glad Martina had talked her into giving him a chance.
“I’ve heard this song many times, but this is the first time I really listened to the words,” Lincoln said. “The lyrics remind me of the first time I saw you. When you glided into Paul’s office, smiled at me and took my breath away.”
Carolyn laughed. “Glided? Really?”
“Yes, really. I’m not even sure your feet touched the ground. It was as if you floated in on a cloud or something.”
She smiled up at him. “You are too much, but I agree with you about the song. Before you came along, I honestly thought I would never find love. Never find a man who made me feel … complete. I thought I’d spend the rest of my life alone.”
“Well, I’m here. You will never have to spend another day alone.” He placed a kiss against her temple, and they moved smoothly around the dance floor.
“We should make “At Last” our song. What do you think?” Carolyn asked.
“I think it’s a great idea. I never thought I’d find love again, and like a dream you came along.” Lincoln glanced down and found her mouth, placing a gentle kiss against her lips.
Carolyn didn’t know if it was the Christmas season or Lincoln that had her so emotional lately. It seemed that for the past week her heart had been full with gratitude. She had a wonderful job as a bartender, which she absolutely loved. She had an amazing, though sometimes irritating, family who she couldn’t imagine her life without. Her relationship with her daughter was better than ever, and now …
She glanced up at Lincoln. And now she had a loving man who she could call her own.
Finally, her life seemed complete.
At last …
***
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Carolyn Jenkins was first introduced in her daughter, Martina Jenkins’ story, NEGOTIATING FOR LOVE. Here’s a short excerpt:
NEGOTIATING FOR LOVE
About the book:
Master carpenter, Martina “MJ” Jenkins, has built plenty of structures in her day, but none as sturdy as the walls she’s built around her heart. After crossing paths with a sexy U.S. Senator, with gorgeous brown eyes and a seductive smile, her resolve to stay unattached crumbles. Martina is determined to steer clear, but the Senator’s kisses are too delicious to resist.
Third generation U.S. Senator, Paul Kendricks, faithfully represents his state and is loyal to the family’s political legacy. Still he yearns for a wife, children, and a new career far away from the political arena. Too bad the object of his desire is the one woman who wants nothing to do with commitment. But the sparks that fly between them can’t be ignored.
As Paul chips away at the wall Martina has built, can he convince her to put her fears aside and open her heart to love?
*
Excerpt: Negotiating for Love
“PJ, I’m going to kill you.” Martina “MJ” Jenkins jerked out of the chair and snatched up her jacket. She weaved between tables that were too close together, her heart pounding like a fat man on a treadmill, chasing a cheeseburger. She couldn’t get to the exit fast enough. The door came into view, and she stormed out of the hotel’s banquet room with her cousin, Peyton, hot on her heels.
“Will you slow down?” Peyton Jenkins whispered through gritted teeth. “God, you are so childish. I knew it was a m
istake to have you come with me. I can’t believe you acted a complete fool in there.”
Martina came to an abrupt stop and spun on her three-inch heels. Heels she hated wearing. Heels she was about ready to rip off and throw at someone. Peyton to be exact.
Peyton knew better than anyone that Martina would much rather be in a T-shirt and jeans, her usual attire. Instead, she had dressed in a silk blouse, black pencil skirt, and stupid nylons. Who the heck wore nylons these days anyway?
She faced her cousin, careful to keep a little distance for fear of popping Peyton.
“I can’t believe you did this to me. You set me up!” Martina stabbed a finger in the air. “You knew he was going to be here and didn’t tell me. How could you?”
Peyton planted her hands on her hips. “How could I what? Not tell you that Senator Paul Kendricks, who you don’t even know but despise, was the guest speaker at the breakfast today?”
“Exactly. You know how I feel about that … that egotistical jerk. You could have come by yourself or heck, brought someone else.”
The day before, Peyton suggested they attend the breakfast since they both oversaw the operations of Jenkins & Sons Construction, the family business their grandfather, Steven Jenkins, started years ago. Upon his retirement, Peyton, an electrician by trade, took on the enormous responsibility of becoming the senior manager and Martina was second in command.
Peyton gripped Martina’s arm and pulled her further away from the doors of the banquet room. “Have you totally lost your mind? When Grampa finds out what you did, he is going to wring your bony little neck. I have never been so embarrassed in all of my life.”
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