Final Score

by Michelle Betham

  He shook his head. ‘What she did… there are no second chances.’ He smiled, a smile so like Jim’s. ‘I’m gonna give women a rest for a little while, I think. Concentrate on my football. We’ve got a real chance of winning some silverware this season, and I don’t wanna mess that up.’

  ‘You won’t mess anything up, Brandon. You’re the reason Wearside Spartans are doing so well right now. Look, your dad’s worried about you, too. You should go see him the next chance you get.’

  ‘And I could say exactly the same thing to you.’

  It was her turn to give a small laugh. ‘Yeah. I asked for that really, didn’t I?’

  ‘Have you separated, Amber? Because, believe me, that concerns me a lot more than any of that crap going on with Ellen.’

  ‘No, sweetheart, we haven’t separated. And whatever they’re saying in the press, none of it’s true. Me and your dad, we just need a bit of time apart, that’s all.’

  ‘Really? You’re not just telling me that to placate me?’

  ‘Brandon, you’re twenty-two not twelve. If there was any bad news to tell you I’m sure you’d be able to handle it, at your age.’

  He smiled again, leaning back against the dressing-room wall. ‘Okay. Well, I’m not gonna ask what’s going on, because I doubt I’d understand anyway.’

  That would make two of them, Amber thought.

  ‘But, whatever it is, you’re working it out, right?’

  She returned his smile. ‘Yeah. We’re working it out. Right, I’d better get out of here. Thanks for making this a very easy morning, by the way.’

  ‘It’s good to see you, Amber.’

  She pulled him in for a hug. ‘Go give your dad a call. Go on.’

  Ronnie was outside in the corridor, talking to another Wearside Spartans player. Amber mouthed “I’ll meet you outside” and made her way out into the bright spring sunshine. The weather was certainly being kind to her on her visit back to the north-east.

  She stood by the side of the training pitch, watching as some of the players practised penalties whilst others embarked on some pretty serious stretches and lunges.

  ‘Not sure I could manage that now.’

  She turned to look at Ronnie, a small smile on her face. ‘Oh, I dunno. You’re still quite fit, really.’

  Their eyes locked for a brief second, before Amber turned her head away. She didn’t want to go back there. That was one complication that really didn’t need to be revisited.

  ‘All of this, Amber. Me and you, falling out…’

  ‘We fell out?’ Her eyes met his again.

  ‘I hate it. This tension between us? It’s wrong.’

  ‘Then stop trying to force your feelings about Jim onto me. You’re free to feel whatever you like about him, just know that I don’t share that, okay?’

  Ronnie sighed, staring out ahead of him. ‘It’s hard, Amber. Because I don’t think he deserves you.’

  Amber said nothing. She wasn’t going to get into any more arguments over this. It wasn’t worth it.

  ‘He might love you, Amber. In fact, I have no doubt he loves you…’

  ‘Then that’s all that matters, isn’t it?’

  ‘No, baby, it isn’t.’

  ‘You know, I remember you telling me, not all that long ago, that I should grab the chance to be with the one person I truly love. You said that to me.’

  ‘That was before I realised he hadn’t changed at all, Amber.’

  ‘He has, Ronnie. What happened with Ryan…’

  Ronnie threw his head back, letting out a quiet sigh. But it was loaded with frustration. ‘Can you hear yourself? You’re actually standing there defending a man who is still doing the same crap he’s been doing for decades. He’s lying to you, Amber. And you can’t base a marriage on lies.’

  ‘Have you come up here just to irritate me? Because I could have sworn you were supposed to be covering the south London derby tonight, yet here you are in Newcastle, banging on to me about how much you disapprove of Jim.’

  ‘How much I disapprove? Jesus, Amber, you make me sound like your dad! I don’t disapprove of Jim. I just don’t think he’s right for you.’

  ‘That’s not your decision to make.’

  ‘No.’ He sighed again, digging his hands into his pockets. ‘It isn’t. Anyway, what are you doing now?’

  ‘I’m meeting Ryan. We’re taking Rico out.’

  ‘Together?’

  She looked at him through slightly narrowed eyes. ‘You got a problem with that?’

  ‘I haven’t got a problem with anything…’

  She couldn’t help a slightly derisive laugh from escaping.

  ‘I’ll ignore that,’ Ronnie said. ‘Do you think it’s a good idea? You and Ryan? Out together, when all that stuff’s in the news about you and Jim separating?’

  ‘We haven’t separated!’

  ‘Well, you going out with Ryan Fisher in broad daylight isn’t gonna help the rumours.’

  ‘We’re spending a bit of time with our son, that’s all.’

  ‘In your eyes.’

  ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’

  He turned to face her. ‘What the fuck are you doing here, Amber? If you really love Jim and you want your marriage to survive then what the fuck are you doing here?’

  ‘I really don’t need this…’

  ‘You have no idea what you’re doing, do you? Because you’ve let him get under your skin…’

  ‘Jesus, Ronnie, he’s been under my skin for twenty-three fucking years, this isn’t a new feeling for me.’

  ‘And for twenty-three years you’ve let him control you.’

  She glared at him, an anger building up inside her that she’d never felt with this man before. He’d always been the one who was there for her, no matter what. The one she could turn to, talk to; that shoulder to cry on whenever she needed it. But that was disappearing fast. And she hated it. It scared her. But he couldn’t stand there and say those things. He couldn’t do that.

  ‘You shouldn’t have come here, Ronnie. You’ve wasted your time.’

  ‘Amber!’

  She just walked away, before she had a chance to say something she might truly regret.

  *

  ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Ryan asked, placing their drinks down on the table in front of them.

  Amber looked up at him. ‘Sorry?’

  ‘You’ve quite obviously got a lot on your mind.’

  ‘You don’t know the half of it. Look, I know you’re probably tired of hearing me say this, Ryan, but, I really am sorry. For what happened.’

  ‘You’ve got nothing to apologise for, Amber.’

  She stared out ahead of her, at the people walking by, at the sun glinting off the River Tyne, anywhere but at him. The guilt was still overwhelming, even though it wasn’t her guilt to feel.

  ‘I can’t pretend I understand exactly why he did it,’ she said quietly. ‘But I believe him when he says he’s sorry.’

  Ryan couldn’t help but laugh, picking Rico up out of his pushchair and sitting him on his knee. ‘Yeah, well, forgive me if I don’t join you in believing anything Jim Allen says. He spoke to me, remember? He told me himself what he’d done, and I told you that I saw not one shred of remorse in his eyes.’

  Amber hung her head, clasping her hands together. ‘He’s my soulmate, Ryan.’

  ‘Oh, Jesus, Amber.’

  ‘If this is how it’s gonna go I might as well just leave.’

  ‘No, look, I’m sorry, okay? I just… I just don’t get it. You and him. What the hell is it you see in him?’

  She looked up, staring right into his eyes. ‘I love him.’

  ‘So much that you can actually get past all the shit he throws at people?’

  ‘For Christ’s sake’

  She sat back in her seat, reaching out for the glass of wine in front of her. ‘I’m not even listening any more.’

  It was a beautiful spring afternoon, the perfect day to sit out
side a riverside bar with a drink and take in the view. As a silence fell between her and Ryan, Amber let all the ambient chatter and noise surrounding them wash over her.

  ‘I guess I’ve got a lot of stuff to be sorry about, too,’ Ryan said, breaking that silence. ‘I mean, what happened with Ellen…’

  ‘It’s not me you should be apologising to for that, Ryan.’

  ‘She was trying to get pregnant.’

  Amber turned her head sharply to look at him. ‘I’m sorry?’

  ‘Deliberately, I mean. Without telling me. She’d told me she didn’t want to use condoms any more, and you know me, I’m not one to ignore that request. But I thought she was on the pill. She told me she was on the pill…’

  ‘You’re really that naïve, huh?’

  He looked down at Rico, who was now sleeping in his famous daddy’s arms, his blue eyes closed to the world and all the complications going on around him. ‘I don’t… I found the pills in the bin. She’d just thrown them away.’

  ‘Jesus. The pair of you almost deserve each other. She’s just as naïve as you are.’

  He leaned forward to kiss Rico’s cheek, an action which did something rather strange to Amber’s insides. Seeing the two of them together was a beautiful sight. Her gorgeous baby and his handsome daddy. ‘It was never a relationship that was going anywhere,’ Ryan said quietly, still staring down at Rico.

  ‘Well, maybe you shouldn’t have gone back to her every time you needed some kind of escape.’

  He looked up, his eyes meeting hers. ‘You do realise what you’ve just said, don’t you? I mean, that’s exactly how this little guy here was conceived, remember? Because you, me – because we needed some kind of escape. It happens, Amber. People do stupid things under weird circumstances. Mind you…’ He threw her a small smile, ‘if you ever need another escape – I’ve told you, haven’t I? You come to me.’

  She turned away again, almost as though looking at him would burn the retinas in her eyes. ‘We’re not talking about me.’

  There was a brief moment of silence before Ryan spoke. ‘Me and Ellen, it was a mistake.’

  ‘It could have been a much bigger one, from what you’ve just told me.’

  ‘Yeah, well, it’s over now.’

  ‘And she knows that for sure, does she?’

  Ryan shrugged. ‘I haven’t heard anything from her. I mean, she’s still at the club, obviously. She works there. But I haven’t seen her since it all happened.’

  ‘She tried to get back with Brandon.’

  ‘You’re kidding? I’m assuming he had more sense than to go there?’

  She looked at him. ‘You know, we’re vilifying this girl, making her out to be the bad guy here, when maybe she just got confused.’

  ‘You’re defending her?’

  ‘Of course I’m not defending her. I’m just saying, when we get desperate, sometimes we do things that aren’t always in character. Maybe she just loved you so much it was the only thing she could think of to do to try and keep you with her.’

  His eyes locked with hers. ‘Who are we talking about now, Amber?’

  She turned away, saying nothing.

  ‘Amber?’

  ‘Leave it, Ryan.’

  ‘You aren’t ever gonna leave him, are you? No matter what he does, you aren’t ever gonna leave him.’

  She held his gaze, her eyes staring deep into his. ‘I don’t know.’

  Those three words could change everything.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Jim stared at the newspaper, at the picture staring back at him; Amber and Ryan, out together, with their baby boy. Out together, as a family, and the pain that this caused, it was almost unbearable.

  ‘You’re reading way too much into that, Jim,’ Max said, leaning back against the sideboard in Jim’s Parkfield office.

  ‘The rumours are even more widespread now, Max. Whatever this is, it’s what it looks like that’s important to all those people out there who make a living twisting the truth. But I don’t really know what the truth is, do I?’

  ‘Have you called her?’

  Jim shook his head. ‘As soon as I’ve finished up here I’m on a flight to Newcastle.’

  ‘Is that wise?’

  Jim looked up. ‘She’s my wife, Max. And for some reason I still can’t fucking understand, she’s up there with him, and I’m down here wondering just what the hell is going on with our marriage. I need to talk to her. Face to face.’

  ‘I thought you were only up there a couple of days ago.’

  ‘There wasn’t time to talk.’

  ‘Well, maybe if you concentrated less on the physical side of things…’

  Jim’s eyes bored into Max’s, and Max held his hands up in surrender, bowing his head. ‘Okay. I’m sorry. That was out of line. But… look, just call her, Jim. Before you go up there and accuse her of something you have absolutely no proof of. They’ve taken the baby out, that’s all. In reality there’s nothing unusual about that. They’re his parents, Amber’s back up north for a while, so why wouldn’t she?’

  ‘It stops, Max. This ridiculous act she’s putting on. She’s coming back home, with me. Where she belongs.’

  ‘Well, you go up there with that attitude and you’ll be coming home alone. I know Amber. And she won’t appreciate that.’

  ‘I’ve known her a lot longer than anyone, Max. I’ve known her for twenty-three years…’

  ‘And you fucked up most of those.’

  The two men glared at each other, saying nothing for a few, long seconds.

  It was Jim who broke the silence. ‘I need to see her.’

  Max sighed, folding his arms across his chest. ‘Don’t do anything stupid, Jim. Don’t give the press anything more to play with, okay?’

  Jim sat down on the arm of the couch, raking both hands through his hair. ‘I can’t do this. It’s fucking killing me, Max.’

  ‘I can only do so much, Jim.’

  ‘Are you any nearer…?’

  ‘I’m looking into it. There isn’t a lot we can do just yet anyway. We really need to wait a couple of months.’

  Jim picked up the newspaper, taking another look at the photograph. It was a paparazzi photo, of course. And sometimes those photos never did tell the whole truth, but just seeing the three of them together – his beautiful wife, her ex-boyfriend and their baby. Their baby.

  ‘I need to see her,’ Jim whispered.

  And Max knew there wasn’t a thing he could do to stop him.

  *

  Amber opened the door quietly and she couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across her face as she saw the sight in front of her. Ryan was lying asleep on his back on the couch, with Rico curled up on his tummy on his daddy’s naked chest. Ryan had his hand resting gently on his baby son’s back, and the two of them looked so peaceful that Amber felt as though she should just leave them alone. She’d never seen anything quite so gorgeous. Ryan, with all those heavy tattoos and that rock-hard stomach, and their beautiful, beautiful baby boy with his mop of dark hair and those eyes just like his daddy’s. And she didn’t want to feel that jolt in her stomach, that uninvited somersault, but it was there. It had happened.

  Letting Ryan stay the night had been a mistake, even though he’d slept in the spare room. Nothing had gone on. Nothing. But it had been a mistake. And he really needed to go now.

  She waited a few more seconds, giving herself a little bit more time to take in daddy and baby together before she walked over to them, crouching down beside them.

  ‘Hey, my handsome pair of sleepyheads. It’s time to get up now. Mummy’s got work to do.’

  Ryan’s eyes opened slowly, his smile wide as he looked at her. ‘Hey there, gorgeous.’ He sat up slowly, a half-asleep Rico still snuggling into him as Ryan swung his legs down. ‘He woke up a couple of hours ago so I thought I’d bring him down here, watch a bit of early-morning TV. Leave his beautiful mum to sleep in a bit longer.’

  ‘Well, I can’t say
I’m not grateful for that, so thank you. Did you sleep alright?’

  ‘Not really. I’d much rather have been next to you, holding that incredible naked body of yours against mine.’

  She stood up, walking away into the kitchen. ‘Grow up, Ryan.’

  ‘Your mum keeps telling me to do that, kiddo. She keeps telling me to grow up.’

  Amber turned to look at him, leaning back against the counter and folding her arms as he followed her into the kitchen, Rico now awake and gurgling away at his daddy. It was almost too cute to watch Ryan smiling, talking to his son and receiving the biggest smile back as Rico tried so hard to talk back. He was growing up so quickly, and sometimes Amber looked at him and still couldn’t believe he was here or that he was hers.

  ‘Kim’ll be here any minute now to pick him up,’ she said, pulling herself swiftly back from her own daydream. ‘And you shouldn’t be here.’ The doorbell ringing interrupted any more conversation. ‘That’ll be Kim.’ She walked over to Ryan, reaching out for Rico. ‘Time to say bye-bye to daddy, baby.’ She let Ryan kiss Rico quickly before she took him from him. ‘Stay here, and do not let Kim see you.’

  ‘Why? I’m Rico’s dad; what’s so wrong with me being here?’

  ‘It’s half past eight in the morning and you’re half-naked, for starters. What kind of message does that send out?’

  Ryan just grinned, and Amber rolled her eyes, hugging her baby to her. ‘Just, stay here. I won’t be long.’

  He was making coffee when she arrived back in the kitchen ten minutes later.

  ‘Go and put some clothes on, Ryan.’

  He turned around, another grin on his handsome face. ‘You could do with taking some off.’

  ‘It’s like talking to a bloody teenager. Is that coffee made yet?’ She walked over to the cupboard, reaching up to take a couple of mugs out, almost dropping them when she felt his hands on her hips, his lips brushing the back of her neck. ‘Ryan!’ She pushed back with her bottom, nudging him away. ‘What the hell are you playing at?’

  ‘Jesus that was actually quite a turn-on. Can you do that naked?’

  ‘For fuck’s sake…’

  ‘Come on! You want this just as much as I do, Amber. Otherwise you would have made me go home last night.’