‘I felt it. I could see it in her eyes, I could feel it when we…’
Max held up his hands, stopping him from talking. ‘I don’t want to hear it, Ryan. I don’t want to know what you did or what kind of a mess you’ve caused, but you need to know one thing. Whatever you think she might still feel for you, it isn’t going to happen.’
‘And how do you know that, huh? How do you know that?’
‘I don’t,’ Max sighed, holding his hands up for another reason now – defeat. He couldn’t do this any more. He couldn’t make the kid see sense, no matter what he said. ‘I don’t know anything. But what I do know is that you need to calm down, get your head straight, and just accept that she’s probably made her choice. I mean, have you seen or spoken to her since she got back from Majorca?’
Ryan shook his head, his eyes back down on the floor. ‘I’ve tried calling her, but it goes straight to answer phone.’
‘And that doesn’t tell you anything?’
Ryan looked up, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stared at his agent. ‘Not really.’
‘Stop being so naïve, Ryan. Get your head out of the sand and start thinking about the next couple of weeks. Two more games for Newcastle Red Star then you’ve got a whole new future to look forward to.’
‘She said there was still a chance, Max.’
‘I’m sorry?’ Max frowned, watching as Ryan slowly lifted his head.
‘She said there was still a chance. That she and Rico would come with me to L.A. And I’m gonna cling onto that chance until the very last second, you got that? The very last second.’
*
‘Are you coming with me?’ Amber asked, leaning back against the door of Jim’s Parkfield office. ‘To this photo shoot.’
‘I thought Ronnie was with you,’ Jim said, not looking up from his laptop.
‘He’s doing the photo shoot with me, yes.’
‘You don’t need me, then, do you?’
‘Is something wrong?’
‘Nothing’s wrong, Amber.’
‘You could have fooled me. I just wondered if you were going to pop in, that was all.’
‘Where is it?’ he asked, his eyes still focused on his laptop screen.
‘They’ve set up something in one of the function rooms upstairs. And I think they want to do one or two pictures outside on the pitch, I’m not sure…’
‘I thought you weren’t doing this kind of thing any more?’
Amber’s eyes met his as he finally looked up. ‘Have you got a problem with it?’
‘No, Amber. I don’t have a problem with anything.’
‘Yeah. Sounds like it. Look, I’ll see you later. You might be in a better mood by then.’
‘Amber, honey, wait.’ He got up and walked over to her, and she leaned back against the door, folding her arms across herself. ‘Baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? It’s just… the idea of you putting yourself out there…’
‘My clothes are staying on, Jim. It isn’t that kind of photo shoot. They’re publicity photos for Cloud Sports and promotion shots for Back of the Net. That’s all.’
He threw his head back, letting out a loud sigh. ‘Jesus, Amber, I’m having so much trouble dealing with this.’
‘Dealing with what? They’re just publicity shots, Jim. I’m not running off to the Playboy mansion.’
He slid an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. ‘Yeah, but, if they could see how hot you were they’d want you over there ASAP.’
‘Oh, you’re such a flatterer, Jim Allen.’ She smiled, playing with the collar of his shirt and wrinkling up her nose. ‘But I think the Playboy boat has sailed.’
‘Not in my eyes,’ he whispered, his mouth lowering down onto hers, and she let herself fall into that kiss. Because she needed to feel him this close to her; she needed him to kiss her and touch her and make love to her over and over again until she was absolutely sure she was making the right decision.
‘So, are you coming with me?’ she asked, not really in the mood to let him go now.
‘I’ll be over as soon as I can. I promise.’
‘Okay.’ She stood up on tiptoes, still holding onto his shirt collar, kissing him again, a little longer this time. A little slower. ‘I’ll see you later.’
He watched her turn to leave, that crazy red hair of hers falling loose down her back, her killer figure poured into a dress that was practically giving him a hard-on.
‘Amber?’
She turned around, smiling that smile and breaking his heart. ‘Yeah?’
‘I don’t want to know what happened, over in Majorca. Okay? I told you I didn’t want to know…’ He looked down at the floor, his hands dug deep into his pockets. ‘I just…’ He raised his head, his eyes once more meeting hers. ‘I love you, okay? Don’t ever forget that.’
She walked over to him, gently touching his cheek with the palm of her hand, kissing him again. She could kiss him forever. ‘I am so in love with you, Jim Allen, I can’t even tell you.’
He rested his hand over hers, smiling a smile that made her heart leap. ‘Then that’s all I need to know.’
One more kiss and she’d disappeared outside, on her way to do what she did best – look beautiful, and make men fall in love with her. And she didn’t even know she was doing it. His wife. His world.
He walked back over to his desk, leaning against it, pushing both hands through his hair as he let loose another loud, frustrated sigh.
That threat he’d always feared was still very much there. And he had to put a stop to it.
*
‘Everything okay?’ Max asked.
Amber looked up as she slipped on a pair of heels so high she doubted whether she’d be able to walk in them. ‘I didn’t know you were coming down here today.’
‘Well, I’ve got a few hours spare before my next meeting, so, I thought I’d come and see how you were doing.’
Amber eyed him slightly warily. ‘Well, I’m fine, thank you. Everything’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be?’
‘You know Ryan’s down here, don’t you?’
Amber didn’t miss the look Ronnie gave her, but she ignored it. ‘I’m assuming he’s got permission this time.’
‘I needed to talk to him regarding some details concerning his new contract with L.A. Gamers.’
Amber felt her stomach dip at the mention of Ryan’s impending move to America. It was just a couple of weeks away now, but she was trying to pretend it wasn’t coming. ‘Is it all sorted, then?’ She asked that without looking up, mainly because she knew Ronnie was still watching her.
‘We’re getting there. Just one or two personal terms to iron out and he’s all ready to go. Their season’s already up and running so they want him there as soon as.’
Amber’s stomach dipped even lower as Max talked. All he was doing was describing a reality she didn’t want to face, when she’d been quite happy pretending it wasn’t happening at all.
‘Is Jim here?’
‘He’s in his office. Said he might pop in later. Where’s Ryan now?’ Did she really want to know?
Max shrugged. ‘No idea. Hasn’t he arranged to come and see Rico while he’s here?’
‘I haven’t been answering his calls,’ she said quietly, feeling a little guilty, because that was selfish. It wasn’t that she’d been keeping Rico away from him – he’d spent a few days up in Newcastle with her dad after she’d come back from Majorca, and she knew Ryan had seen him then. But she hadn’t spoken to him for a while now. And that was selfish.
‘Yeah. He told me.’
Amber stood up, shaking out her hair and wishing she hadn’t done that as these heels really were too high for her, and now she felt a little unsteady on her feet. ‘I know these things are supposed to make your legs look better but they’re a bitch to walk in.’
Max smiled, watching as she steadied herself.
‘Do you know? What went on in Majorca?’ Amber asked, looking straight at Max and still ignoring Ronn
ie, although he was out of earshot now, talking to the photographer.
Max’s expression changed, turning serious again. ‘I didn’t want to know, but Ryan offered up the information before I’d had a chance to shut him up. Look, Amber – he said you’d told him… he said there was still a chance. A chance that you might go with him. To L.A.’
She looked down at her feet, pulling the hem of the dress she was wearing down so it covered just a touch more thigh. ‘I did say that, yes.’ Now she was really glad Ronnie was out of earshot because if he had any idea…
‘And? Are you serious about that? I mean…’
‘I don’t know, Max.’ Her eyes met his, holding his gaze for a good few seconds.
He was in no hurry to break that stare. ‘You don’t know?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘But…’
‘Everything’s so complicated now. Ryan coming over there, to Majorca – it changed things. It… it threw up stuff I didn’t even know I was feeling and I just don’t know.’
‘And what about Jim? Does he know what went on over there?’
‘He says he doesn’t want to know. But I think he has every idea what really went on. He’s not stupid.’
‘Jesus, Amber…’
‘I panicked. When Ryan told me he was leaving for America, I panicked. I got scared. The thought of him not being there terrified me and I panicked.’
‘This is one hell of a mess.’
‘But it’s going to be sorted soon.’ She looked at Max, right into his eyes, her expression almost pleading. ‘Isn’t it?’
‘Yeah,’ he sighed, holding her gaze, not breaking the stare. ‘I really hope so.’
*
‘What was all that about?’ Ronnie asked, wandering back over to Amber.
‘Nothing.’
‘Here we go again,’ he sighed, leaning back against the wall beside Amber, who was still trying to get used to the heels. ‘You know, every time Ryan’s name is mentioned there’s something in your eyes that scares the hell out of me,’ Ronnie went on, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Amber turned her head to look at him, but she said nothing.
‘I’m going to assume that what happened in Majorca – I’m going to assume it was…’
‘I don’t want to talk about it, Ronnie.’
‘You used to be able to talk to me about anything, Amber.’
She looked down at the floor, her fingers fiddling with her wedding ring.
‘And you’re doing that weird thing with your wedding ring again.’
Amber quickly pulled her hand away. ‘It’s not “weird,” as you put it. It’s a nervous habit.’
‘You got something to be nervous about?’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You’re not saying much.’
‘Do we have to do this here?’
‘We don’t have to do it at all.’
‘Good.’
‘You really want to carry on living this way, Amber?’
She looked at him again, saying nothing for a beat or two. ‘It would have been so much simpler if me and you had worked out, wouldn’t it?’
His eyes locked onto hers, and it was his turn to say nothing for a few seconds. ‘Yeah. It would. It really would.’
*
‘Close the door,’ Jim said, leaning back against his desk, his arms folded. ‘I’m surprised to see you here, if the truth be told. I didn’t think you’d come.’
‘I didn’t know if I was going to. But then I remembered what’s at stake.’
Jim glared at Ryan as he stood by the door, handsome, young and cocky with his hands in his pockets and a look on his face that, for some reason, made Jim feel uncharacteristically nervous. ‘I’ve told Amber this, and I’m telling you – I don’t want to know what you did. What happened over there, it doesn’t matter…’
‘It does to me.’
Jim’s expression darkened. ‘I don’t want to know, Ryan. So don’t push me, okay?’
‘She told me there was a chance, Jim.’ Ryan moved further into the room, but Jim stayed exactly where he was, his eyes boring into Ryan’s. ‘That her and Rico – she told me there was a chance they’d come with me. To America.’
‘She won’t go,’ Jim said, his expression stoic now, his arms still folded.
Ryan let out a quiet chuckle, bowing his head for a second before raising it back up to look straight at his ex-boss. ‘And, you know that for sure, do you?’
‘She won’t go. Because I won’t let her.’
‘You won’t let her? You see, this is what I told her…’
Jim stood up, that calm exterior fading now as the anger took over. ‘And what did you tell her, Ryan? Did you tell her I was no good for her? That I’d hurt her again? That I’d never change and the worst thing she could do would be to stay with me?’
‘And you don’t think that’s true?’
‘You have no idea – no idea at all. I love her. I’ve always loved her. For over twenty years I have wanted her. I have fucking ached for her, and now that I finally have her I won’t lose her again. I won’t. Not to you. Not to anyone, but especially not to you. Do you hear me? So you step away and you leave her alone. You back off. And I’m not asking you to do this, I’m warning you. You get on that plane and you go to L.A. and I wish you all the luck in the world over there, I really do, because, despite the fact I can’t even bear to look at you, you’re a talent this game needs. But Amber doesn’t need you. So you back off, and you leave her alone.’
‘Well, that’s gonna be hard, Jim. Because she has my baby.’
‘You leave her alone. You show no interest, don’t make her think you want her…’
‘But I do want her. And I can’t hide that any more. I leave for L.A. in a couple of weeks, and I don’t want to go without her. So I can’t pretend she doesn’t matter to me, when she does.’
‘I’m warning you, Ryan. You take a fucking step back from this or, so help me, I will kill you.’
Ryan’s eyes widened, another laugh escaping as he stared at Jim. ‘Is that a fucking threat?’
‘It’s whatever you want it to be.’
‘She didn’t put up much of a fight, y’know. Over in Spain.’ Ryan continued to stare at Jim as he spoke, knowing that he was fuelling the fire, making the whole situation worse, but he couldn’t help himself. ‘And the second she let that dress drop to the floor I knew I wasn’t leaving until I’d been back inside her, and let me tell you, she felt just as good as she always did.’
‘I’m warning you, Ryan, you really don’t want to push me…’
‘Or what? You’re all talk, Jim. You’re not gonna do anything, because you’re all out of ideas; you’ve tried them all. You’ve tried every way you can to bring me down and push me further away from Amber but none of them worked, did they? You can’t stop it because she feels something for me that will never go away. It’ll never die. It’s always gonna be there, whether you like it or not.’
Jim shook his head, his hands in his pockets, but his fists were clenched tightly it was verging on painful. ‘I am so fucking angry that you did what you did.’
‘It was always gonna happen.’
‘But that’s it. It’s over now. You took her and you got it out of your system…’
‘Out of my system? Do you think you’re the only one here who has the monopoly on feelings, Jim? You say I have no idea how much you love her, but what about me, huh? You have no idea how much I love her.’
‘You don’t love her. You just want her because she’s out of reach.’
‘She isn’t out of reach.’
‘Oh, she is, Ryan. She’s so far out of your reach you’ll never touch her again.’
Ryan said nothing for a few seconds, he just stared Jim out, determined to stand his ground. He was serious now. The time for playing games was over. ‘Shouldn’t that be up to Amber to decide?’ And with that Ryan turned and walked out of the office, almost slamming the door shut beh
ind him.
Jim leaned back against his desk, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. Had that actually made things worse? But he’d had to face him. He’d had to know how serious Ryan really was about taking his wife away from him. And now that he knew, it terrified him.
*
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ Max hissed as Ryan walked into the room where Amber’s photo shoot was taking place, leaning back against the wall as though he had every right to be there.
‘Jim wanted a word.’
‘Are you serious?’ Max could feel his blood pressure rising by the second. What the hell had he done to deserve this today?
‘He wanted to “warn me off.”’
‘Jesus Christ… and you think being in here, when his wife is over there… You think this is going to diffuse the situation?’
‘Look, Max, I really don’t care any more, okay? I’m sick of pretending, sick of avoiding the subject. I’m leaving the country in a matter of weeks and I want her to come with me. I want Amber, and I want our baby, and what Jim Allen wants just doesn’t fucking matter to me. He isn’t important.’
‘Have you banged your fucking head or something? Actually, maybe that would knock some sense into you… You are gonna kill me, Ryan.’
Ryan ignored him, his eyes on Amber now. She was laughing as she leaned over the photographer’s shoulder, looking at the pictures he’d just taken, her smile lighting up the room, and he’d never felt a pain like it. He couldn’t let her go. He just couldn’t do it. ‘I love her, Max.’
‘Look, Ryan…’ Max trailed off as he noticed Amber’s gaze wander over to them, her smile fading the second her eyes met Ryan’s. ‘This is not going to end well,’ Max sighed, backing away as Amber walked over.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, stopping a little way in front of him.
‘Can I see Rico?’
‘He isn’t here. What are you doing at Parkfield, Ryan?’
‘Your husband wanted a word.’
Amber frowned. ‘I’m sorry? Why would Jim want a word with you?’
‘Because he doesn’t want to lose you, Amber. So he’s warning me off. Telling me to back away, to leave you alone…’
‘I don’t believe this.’
‘Can I see Rico?’
Final Score Page 41