by Kell, Sheila
She appreciated the team of hot-bodied men dug in deep when it came to solving a case, like a kidnapping a few months ago. If anyone or anything could be found, they’d find it or them. “What are we doing today?”
“Whatever you want to do, as long as it’s indoors. If you can’t think of anything, I have a suggestion or two.” He raised and lowered his eyebrows a few times in a suggestive manner.
The amusement in his eyes brought out a surprised laugh from her. “I need to do some cleaning.”
He set his cup down. “I’ll help.”
Cleaning allowed her to clear her mind and think about the important things in her life. She needed to put serious thought into her future. Even if her hand healed properly and she could remain a field agent, should she? Or, should she leave the FBI and work with Ariana at Ross Communication?
Being a field agent had been more satisfying than she had imagined it would be. She liked her partner, and the camaraderie of her fellow agents. Bringing criminals to justice was extremely fulfilling.
Was her place truly at her sister’s side though? She knew a little about the operation because she’d worked there in the summers throughout college. With Ariana teaching her, she could swiftly learn everything she needed to know.
The choice between what she wanted to do and what she probably should do tormented her. Was there a right answer?
She finished cleaning, making her decision. It felt right.
* * * * *
Kate’s menu consisted of themed meals, a different one for each day of the week. Today was Jesse’s favorite - good ole American food day. He put marinated steaks on the grill on the rooftop deck, smiling at her attempt to join him. He’d agreed it was doubtful that the killer waited across the street on the off chance she decided to grill, but he would not take a chance on her life.
He’d been happy to see a bit of his feisty girl when he’d said no. Then she’d withdrawn again, grieving for Joy.
He took a long drink of his beer. Yesterday, Kate hadn’t pushed him away when he’d kissed her, held her hand and offered to hold her for the night. Having her body next to him all night and not making love to her had been pure torture.
After his wife died, he’d promised himself he’d never get close to a woman again. He’d experienced pain no one should have to bare. Especially, not twice in a lifetime. Kate had changed all of that. Without even trying, she’d cracked the barrier he’d built, the barrier around his heart. He had to tread lightly from here, or he’d find himself in the unthinkable position of being in love. But would it be so bad if it was Kate he fell for?
He didn’t love her, but he cared more for her than anyone since his wife. The way he’d felt thinking she could have eaten one of the poisoned chocolates frightened him. It had torn at his gut and his heart. He had to do a better job of protecting her. He couldn’t lose her.
* * * * *
Jesse poured Kate another glass of wine and asked about her adoption.
Something inside her urged her to open up to him, share it all. But, she didn’t want the inevitable pity after she finished her story. Not from him.
“My birth parents were Nancy and Tom Miles.” She took a deep breath, holding back the tears. Even though she couldn’t remember her parents or the shooting, it still hurt knowing she’d lost them before she’d had a chance to know them. It hurt knowing what happened to them, knowing what happened to her.
“Because I had no living relatives who could care for me, foster parents were arranged for me to live with when I was released from the hospital. My parents’ accountant called the Ross family knowing they wouldn’t squander my inheritance. At first they were afraid that my parents’ killer would try to find me and kill me too, but apparently, he’d done his job. I wasn’t part of the plan.”
“You were lucky you had a good advocate with the right contacts. I’ve heard stories of children being lost in the system. Being moved from home to home, some of them in abusive situations.”
She shuddered when she thought about those poor children. She’d wanted to be a foster parent, then maybe adopt, but her job prevented her from committing. She couldn’t think of giving a child a home, and then ripping it away from them if she died in the line of duty. And that was always a possibility.
“Yes, I was very lucky. The Rosses treated me the same as they did Ariana. When I was six, they adopted me. They, of course, saved my inheritance for me. They paid for my college themselves. When I graduated college, they bought me a car and turned over my inheritance. Most of it is still there.” She didn’t mind living off of her FBI salary. She had plenty of designer and luxury items purchased for her by the Rosses. She didn’t care the new things she purchased weren’t top designer labels. Being self-sufficient mattered. She knew both sets of parents would be proud of her.
“I heard you became a millionaire at the death of Jay and Kelly Ross. That you and Ariana were left everything. They didn’t leave anything to any other relatives.”
“Yes, the inheritance was split between us. I know Mom and Dad loved me like I was their own, but I feel guilty about them leaving me half of everything. I expected most of everything would be left to Ariana. I haven’t touched the money. If I need anything, I’ll dig into my birth parents’ inheritance. My share of the Ross inheritance will go to Ariana when I die. She’s the one who works hard at growing the business. She’s their true daughter. She deserves it.”
Ariana hadn’t agreed with Kate on how her will had been written, but Kate knew she was relieved no stranger would come in and tear apart her family’s company. It meant everything to Ariana.
“You shouldn’t feel guilty about their leaving you an equal share as Ariana. In their mind, you were their real daughter too.”
Kate sighed. “I know what you’re saying is true, but it still doesn’t dissolve the guilt I feel.”
Kate wondered what made her share the depth of her feelings about being left the inheritance with Jesse. She hadn’t shared this emotional conflict with anyone, not even her close friends. Sharing with him felt right. Things with him were getting more complicated.
* * * * *
After dinner, they watched a romantic comedy. Jesse wondered what Kate thought during the pseudo sex scenes. His mind filled with thoughts of her tasty lips. Thinking of his mouth on her lips and trailing them down her silky neck had blood rushing to his groin. He didn’t want to shift to get comfortable and scare her. Tonight had to be the night.
After the movie and the news, they stood to go to bed. She didn’t stop him when his arms slid around her and drew her close. His lips melted over hers, savoring her taste, the heat of her mouth, and the stroke of her velvety tongue. She clung to him as he deepened the kiss, devouring her mouth with pent up need flowing through him.
Her arms encircled his neck and she pulled herself closer. Anticipation rode him, strengthening his determination to have her tonight.
His lips trailed down her neck. “I want to take you to bed, Kate.” He grabbed her buttocks and pulled her closer so she could feel his desire for her.
His mouth returned to hers as he reached for her breast. She moaned and instinctively arched her body into him. He broke the hungry kiss, tried to catch his breath and slow his racing pulse before he took her hand to lead her up the stairs. She was finally going to be his.
Kate didn’t move. She slowly shook her head and breathlessly, she whispered, “No. I can’t do this, Jesse. I can’t just do sex.”
“What if it’s not just sex, Kate? What if it’s more?”
Her eyes looked hopeful. “Is it?”
He ran his finger through his hair. “Hell, I don’t know.”
“Then I can’t do this.”
He looked in her eyes and saw desire blazing. Desire he’d ignited. There was no denying she wanted him. “I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me.”
She looked at him and hesitated. “It doesn’t matter.”
He raised his eye
brows. “Hell yeah it matters. Tell me you don’t want me, Kate.”
Her body trembled either from lust or nervousness or both. “I don’t want you, Jesse.” She quickly looked away.
“Liar.”
He dropped her hand and told her good night. He walked up the stairs and prepared himself for another cold shower. He never imagined he’d still be sleeping in the guest room. He’d never had to work at getting a woman into his bed. But, Kate wasn’t just any woman he wanted in his bed. She was special. She was his woman. She just didn’t realize it yet.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
AJ and Dottie awaited Kate when she walked down the stairs the next morning. She’d been nervous about seeing Jesse, but his not being there wasn’t what she’d expected. And, it hurt that he’d avoid her.
“Good morning, AJ. What are you doing here?”
He stood and walked to the kitchen with her. “Reagan was sick this morning so Jesse went to see her, and he wanted you to have company until Matt arrived. Since I live close to here, I get the pleasure.” He flashed his killer smile as if that would make everything better.
She tried to remain calm in front of AJ. “Is she bad?”
He shook his head. “Nah, just a little tummy ache, but she wanted to see him.”
She poured coffee, avoiding looking at AJ, so he wouldn’t see the pain in her eyes. It hurt that Jesse hadn’t woken her to go with him. Where I go, you go.
She couldn’t help but like his daughter. She wanted to be there, helping care for Reagan. She sighed. It wasn’t her place. Never would be her place. She was his current assignment, and someone he wanted to take to bed. That was it.
She turned to AJ. “You don’t need to be here. I don’t need a babysitter.”
She’d let Jesse inside because. . . well, she didn’t know why, but she didn’t need someone inside her home, invading her space. There were five men outside protecting her.
She felt her temper rise and knew it would be misplaced at AJ. No, Jesse deserved it for leaving her home and for thinking she needed a shadow to take care of her. She didn’t need AJ or Matt. She did notice that Jesse had chosen Matt over Brad to protect her.
They strolled into the living room and sat.
“I thought you and I could go through the case.”
“Thank you, AJ.” She almost jumped up and hugged him. “Not being in the action has made me miserable and feeling useless.”
He chuckled. “Have no fear. Your partner has arrived to save the day.”
She loved AJ’s sense of humor. As a happy-go-lucky man, he enjoyed life, no matter what happened. She wished she could keep his constant positivity. But life had screwed with her.
“I have someone for you to check out. Do you know Elizabeth, who hangs around Jesse?”
“I do. The woman thinks she’s in love with Jesse. Big pain in the ass. What about her?”
“She threatened me. It’s probably nothing, but since we’re not certain who was behind the chocolate, I thought you should check her out. Jesse brushed it off.”
AJ rubbed his hand over his face. “I agree with Jesse, but I’ll still talk with her.”
“That’s all I ask. Now where are things?”
They discussed the case, and after Matt arrived, AJ left. Even with Matt in the apartment, it felt empty without Jesse. She felt alone again, abandoned and aggravated that his presence or lack thereof, impacted her emotions like they did.
What was she going to do? Last night she’d almost caved. His kisses had almost been overpowering.
She’d surprised herself when she’d found the strength to tell him no when her body had been screaming yes.
He’d asked her what if it was more. For a moment, she thought that she meant something to him. Then he’d said he didn’t know. It had just been a line to get her into bed. And it had almost worked.
She groaned. As a lost cause, she would lose this battle in more ways than one. It was only a matter of when.
* * * * *
Jesse returned with a gruff attitude, so Kate stayed out of his way. The tension between them was almost unbearable. Matt tried to converse with Jesse, gave up and left.
They prepared and ate dinner without muttering an unnecessary word. She only knew one way to fix things, and she still wasn’t sure it was the right thing for her.
When Kate heard Jesse talking to his daughter, she decided to take a well-earned, lengthy, relaxing, bubble bath. She ran the water hot enough for her skin to turn red. The hotter the water the better. She sat in the tub, enveloped herself in bubbles and inhaled the soothing lavender scent. Instant relaxation flowed through her body.
Before leaning back, she always blew bubbles in the air for her dog to chase. Kate’s full-hearted laughter filled the room. When Dottie finished playing, she circled and plopped down on the rug by the bathtub.
Leaning back, she made sure to keep her hair from getting wet by pulling it up on top of her head with a clip. She looked like Pebbles from the Flintstones. It didn’t matter, no one could see her. She had a locked door between them.
Soft music from her iPod played. When her thoughts drifted to Jesse and their heated kisses. She picked up the book she’d started earlier in the day while Matt baby-sat. She liked romantic suspense novels. They always had a happy ending. Well, except one she read. That author was lucky Kate hadn’t known where she lived because Kate wanted to give her a piece of her mind for killing off the hero. So what he left a pregnant woman behind to bring his child into the world. The hero was not supposed to die.
She read a few pages in the book before she realized the plot almost mirrored her life. Her life was at risk and some super sexy, macho, alpha male was protecting her. Would it end like the book? The suspense part would because they would find the killer. As for the romance part, she knew better. There was no happily-ever-after with Jesse. She reminded herself that she was a woman facing the harsh reality of a life of loneliness.
She closed her eyes and couldn’t fight it as her mind flooded with visions of Jesse. Her and Jesse in bed. Her, Jesse and Reagan as a family. Her eyes popped open wide at that thought. She had no idea how she’d be as a mother, but she wouldn’t mind being one to Jesse’s daughter, especially if it brought him along.
The fact that they would never happen didn’t stop her from fantasizing about them as a family. She could easily fall in love with both of them. Heck, she was probably already half in love with Jesse. Whoa. She worked to bring herself down from the cloud she’d climbed on. She had to be realistic. None of it would ever happen. Why did she torture herself?
From beside the bathtub, her cell phone rang.
“Hello, Mary.”
“Kate, I need you,” Mary whispered.
She sat up straight, water sloshed over the side of the bathtub and Dottie jumped up and barked.
“What’s wrong, Mary?”
“Dan was here. I think I’m really hurt.”
Son of a bitch. “I’m on my way. Don’t open the door to Dan if he comes back.” She should’ve arrested him the other day no matter what Mary had said.
“I won’t. Thank you, Kate.”
She looked at her relaxing bath and sighed. Mary needed her, so this would have to wait. She got out of the tub, pulled the drain and wrapped herself in a large, white, fluffy, bath towel. She dried off and dressed in record time. Looking in the mirror, she laughed. She’d almost forgotten to let her hair down. No makeup, she decided, since time was of the essence. Besides, her face was still bright red from the heat of the water.
Jesse was talking on the phone and didn’t pay her any mind. She sat down and put on her tennis shoes. Maybe she could get out of there without him. She didn’t know how Mary would react to Kate bringing him again. Not when she sounded so desperate.
Besides, the agents would be there with her. Protecting her.
She stood and grabbed her keys when a large hand clamped down hard on hers.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?�
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“Something’s wrong. Mary needs me, and I’m going to see her.”
“You’re not going without me.” He still held his hand over hers, refusing to let her pick up her keys.
She didn’t have time to debate this with him. Mary needed her now. Besides, if Dan showed back up, it’d be good to have Jesse along. “Well, hurry up then. We need to leave now.” She tapped her foot on the floor.
Jesse put on his shoes, put his hand on her back and ushered her out the door. On the drive to Mary’s, she was fretful. After checking to make sure they weren’t being followed, he reached over and took her hand in his. She held on tight.
Mary had only called Kate once before to go the hospital, and it had been bad. This had to stop.
“What’s this big emergency? Is that asshole there?”
“Dan paid Mary a visit. She says she’s hurt.”
“Son of a bitch.”
She chuckled. “Those were my thoughts exactly.”
They had to park a good distance from Mary’s house and didn’t wait for her protective details. They walked fast, and Jesse held her hand the entire time, tugging her along.
At the sight of the broken door, Jesse pulled his weapon. He nodded at Kate, and she knocked. “Mary, it’s me, Kate.”
Mary opened the door and Kate stared. Dan had done a number on her.
“You can come in. He’s not here.” She stepped aside to let them enter, keeping her face down to hide the damage.
Jesse put away his weapon.
“Mary, let me look at you.” She knew now wasn’t the time to bring up the broken door. Dan had never broken in before. Mary must have refused to let him in. Why hadn’t she called 911 or them?
“I called you because I think I have a broken rib. I’m shaking so badly that I can’t drive myself to the hospital.” Mary’s voice sounded broken, weak and filled with something that sounded like regret.
“Of course, we’ll take you. Do you have any other injuries?” Except a black and blue face.