Just This Night

by Mari Madison

  I gave Beth a small smile, then rose from my seat to head to the door. I could feel my heart pick up the pace the closer I got, and I realized I was more nervous than I thought I’d be. I tried to tell myself it was no big deal. Ashley would understand that Daddy could have friends, just like she did. And she was far too young to understand that these “friends” could be anything more.

  “Daddy!” she chirped as I opened the door. Without pause, she threw her arms around my legs in a big preschooler embrace. In turn, I swooped down, scooping her up into a proper daddy bear hug.

  “How’s my little queen?” I greeted, kissing her on the nose.

  “I’m not a queen,” Ashley interjected. “I’m a pony, Daddy. I’m Rainbow Dash.” She tossed her hair as if it were a horse’s mane and gave me her best duh look.

  “Of course you are. Silly Daddy.”

  I ruffled her hair and set her back down on the ground. Then I waved to my sister, who was getting back into her minivan. Sadie pointed to the house, cocking her head in a questioning look. I sighed and nodded. She grinned, giving me a way-too-enthusiastic two thumbs-up, then climbed into the driver’s seat. Thankfully she had the other kids in the back—or I would have probably been forced to make introductions, which I was so not ready to do.

  Instead, I turned back to my daughter. “So how was school?”

  The grin fell from her face. “Not good.”

  “What do you mean? I thought it was a very nice school.”

  “It’s not a nice school. I don’t like that school.”

  “You said you loved it. You said they had the best playground ever.” My brow creased. “What happened?”

  “Nothing.”

  Frustration began to build inside of me. “Sweetie, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

  Ashley shrugged her little shoulders, her Windbreaker sliding off her arms and onto the floor. The normally well-trained child made no move to pick it up. “They laughed at me,” she said at last. “They said I talk funny. And they wouldn’t play with me.”

  I winced at the hurt look I saw on her face and my heart panged in my chest. I knew moving here was going to be an adjustment for all of us, but I had been holding out hope that Ashley’s outgoing personality and self-confidence would win her new friends immediately. But evidently her slight lisp was making her stand out in the crowd.

  Suddenly all I wanted to do was march down to that school and punch the shit out of a bunch of four-year-olds. No one could blame me for that, right?

  Instead, I raked a frustrated hand through my hair, trying to channel my inner grown-up. It was funny, as a kid I’d always assumed parents had all the answers. But these days, more often than not, I was left clueless.

  “Don’t listen to them, sweetie,” I said, trying to pull her into my arms for another hug. But she held back this time, stiff and unyielding. “I think you talk just fine.”

  “You don’t want to talk like those California kids anyway.”

  I whirled around at the sudden voice, surprised to see Beth standing in the doorway, a sly grin on her face. “You know,” she added, mimicking an overly exaggerated Valley Girl speech straight out of an eighties movie. “Like totally grody to the max, dude!”

  Ashley giggled, a little shyly, pressing her head against my shoulder. I took this as my cue and donned my best surfer voice. “Yeah, Ash, dude! I gotta, like, totally catch this tubular wave, bruh.”

  The giggles increased. “They don’t talk like that!” she protested.

  “Oh right. Gag me with a spoon fer shure,” Beth replied, throwing in a toss of her hair for good measure.

  “Like totally,” I agreed with mock seriousness. I kissed Ashley’s freckled nose. “Babe.”

  She squealed. “Like, totally, dude, spoon, shure!” she cried, jumping up and down. Then her eyes focused on Beth. “Who are you?”

  I drew in a breath. Here went nothing. “Ashley, this is my friend Beth. Beth, this is Ashley.”

  “Are you and my dad having a playdate?” she asked.

  A smile crept to Beth’s lips. “Something like that.”

  Ashley seemed to consider this for a moment. Then she nodded her head. “Can you play the car game?” she asked.

  I groaned. My daughter’s level of respect for any adult, these days, seemed to hinge directly on their skills on Mario Kart. “Honey, I don’t—”

  “I love the car game,” Beth broke in before I could finish. “And I’m really good at them, too.” She grinned. “So you’d better watch out!”

  “Yeah, well, you better watch out for my daddy!” Ashley proclaimed proudly. “He’s the best ever!” She grabbed Beth’s hand and started tugging her in the direction of the living room. “Come on!”

  I watched for a moment, something strange stirring inside me as the two girls headed for the game console. Here I had worried about Ashley finding a stranger in the house. I should have known my daughter better than that. To her, a stranger was just a potential friend. And Beth—the way she’d deflected the school crisis was just pure unadulterated magic. I mean, here I was, the actual dad, totally stumped and she’d waltzed in there like it was the world’s simplest parenting problem. And she didn’t even have kids!

  I headed into the kitchen and grabbed the phone. I’d already programmed the pizza guy into my contacts. After placing the order, I peeked into the living room. Beth and Ashley were on the floor, Wii steering wheels in hand, locked in a mad game of Mario versus Princess Peach. It was enough to do me in.

  I tried to imagine Ashley’s mother playing a videogame. Hell, playing anything with her daughter. She worked crazy hours and when she came home, she’d go straight to the liquor cabinet, saying she needed to “unwind.” And so it would be up to me to act out scenes with the Disney Barbies or My Little Ponys, while she sat on the couch, busily conversing with her Facebook fans instead of her family.

  I wondered how Beth had become so good with children. Was she a natural or had she had some experience—maybe with nephews or nieces or young siblings? It was strange; I’d spent so much time with her over the last few days, but I knew very little about her. For all of her accusations that I had been less than forthcoming about my own personal life, she was even tighter lipped. I knew she’d come from the Midwest. I knew she’d once worked as a waitress. I knew she had some kind of ex-boyfriend . . .

  But what really made her tick? Why had she come out to San Diego? What were her goals and dreams? Did she take one sugar in her coffee or two? Did she even drink coffee at all? Suddenly I wanted to know it all.

  But first, it was time for a throw down.

  “I get next game,” I announced from the doorway. “So get ready to get your butt kicked big time.”

  twenty-seven

  BETH

  I whirled around at the sound of the voice, simultaneously succeeding in wrapping my race car around a virtual pole. Lost in the game, I’d almost forgotten Mac was still in the house. But there he was. Standing there, all tall and broad-shouldered and hot as hell. The sexiest single dad in all of SoCal—and maybe the world.

  “Guess what, Daddy? Guess what?” Ashley dropped her controller and ran over to her father. “Me and Beth are going to go find snow in California!”

  Uh . . . I could feel Mac shoot me a look and I felt my face heat at the little girl’s misinterpretation of my words. All I’d really said was that there was snow in Southern California—after Ashley told me she missed the snow back home—not that we’d go out and actually find it together. Mac was so protective of his daughter. The last thing I needed was for him to think I was already overstepping my bounds, a mere ten minutes into the big meet and greet.

  “Ashley I didn’t actually say—”

  “It’s in the mountains,” Ashley broke in over me, using her most authoritative voice. “Up high where it’s still cold.” She looked up at her father with pleading big brown eyes. “Can we go, Daddy? Please can we go? I want to see the California snow!”r />
  I glanced up at Mac who was looking down at his daughter with eyes filled with affection. She had him wrapped around her little finger—I could tell.

  Maybe I needed to be hitting her up for advice.

  “Please Daddy? Pleeeeease?”

  He ruffled her hair. “We’ll see,” he told her. “If you’re a good little pony all week long and eat all your vegetables, then maybe this weekend—”

  “I’m not a pony, Daddy!” Ashley declared. “I’m a reporter. Just like Beth!” She pointed a finger in my direction. Mac raised an eyebrow and I shrugged helplessly, positive my face had now gone from red to a disturbing shade of purple.

  Mac shook his head, turning back to his daughter. “Well, reporter Ashley, I’m a big bad monster,” he declared. “And you know what big, bad monsters do to reporters, don’t you?” he teased, grabbing her and putting her in a headlock.

  She shrieked, wriggling like a worm to free herself, to no avail. Mac lifted her upside down and twirled her around the room and she alternated giggling and screeching. Mac was laughing, too. A sincere, unguarded laugh that made his face light up brighter than any Christmas tree. Watching the two of them I felt my heart warm. What a sweet little family. What an awesome dad.

  Which made me wonder, all over again, about Ashley’s mysterious mother. Mac had implied that it had ended badly between the two of them, but where did that leave Ashley? It was unusual for the father to have sole custody unless there was a serious issue with the mom. Had she gone to jail? Rehab? Had she just walked out on her family without looking back? It seemed insane to me that anyone could just turn around and abandon this unbearably cute father/daughter pair. Why, if I were Ashley’s mother. . . .

  I shook my head. Don’t even go there, Beth. Don’t trick yourself into seeing this as more than it is.

  After they had finished wrestling, Mac sat down beside me, grabbing the Wii steering wheel. “Are you ready for this?” he asked.

  I laughed. “Bring it.”

  He chose his character and loaded the game and we started playing. Turned out we were pretty evenly matched and I was actually ahead by one race by the time the doorbell chimed.

  “Saved by the pizza guy,” Mac teased. “’Cause I was just about to get serious.”

  “Mmhm. I’m sure that—”

  “You ordered pizza?” Ashley screeched, her eyes wide as saucers. Seriously, she couldn’t have sounded more excited than if he had announced they were on their way to Disney World right this very second. “I love pizza!” She started wildly spinning around the room. “Pizza is my favorite.”

  Mac snorted. “Really? I would have never guessed.” He glanced over at me. “Be right back.”

  As he headed for the front door, I scrambled to my feet and made my way to the kitchen, wanting to make myself useful. I found and grabbed a few paper plates, plasticware, and some paper towels to serve as napkins, then brought them over to the table. Mac returned a few moments later, laden with enough pizza to feed an army, dropping it down on the table. Ashley scrambled into her seat and we all dug in.

  It didn’t take long for the three of us to make a serious dent in the pies. Ashley dominated the dinner conversation, chattering like a magpie about everything and anything. At least she no longer seemed upset about school. Poor thing—it was tough being the new kid, as I knew from personal experience. I was glad to see her smiling and laughing now.

  Sort of like how I was, I realized suddenly. In fact, I’d been having so much fun, I’d almost forgotten what had happened to me earlier that day. If I had been alone, I would have been stewing over everything all night long. Winding myself up, stressing myself out. I would have been a mess the next day at work—which was exactly what Stephanie was probably hoping for. Instead, I was laughing, I was joking. I was eating mountains of pizza. I was refusing to let the haters get me down.

  “Thanks for inviting me over,” I said, smiling at Mac. “This is just what I needed after today.”

  “Of course!” he exclaimed. “After all, it’s a well-known fact pizza cures all ills.”

  “The pizza is great. But I’m going to credit the company for this one.”

  He grinned. “Indeed. Cheering people up is Ashley’s number one superpower.” He reached over and tickled her ribs. “After all, who could be sad around this silly little face?” Ashley burst out into more screeches and giggles. And I felt very warm inside indeed.

  After the pizza, Mac announced it was time for bed. Of course Ashley protested and bargained with the skill of a senior partner at a law firm, but eventually we convinced her to crawl under the covers. I offered up a few more precious moments of awake time by reading her a story from her massive collection of Disney Princess books. And by the time I read the “Happily ever after” line, she was yawning, despite herself. Reaching over, she grabbed a little ragged stuffed lion by its tail and stuffed her thumb in her mouth.

  “Goodnight sweetie,” I whispered, my heart feeling very full. I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “It was great meeting you today.”

  Ashley’s sleepy eyes suddenly widened. “Will you be here in the morning?” she asked worriedly.

  “No, honey. I have to go home.”

  She stuck out her lower lip. “I don’t want you to go.”

  “I know. But I’ll come back and play with you another time. I promise.”

  The little girl was quiet for a moment. Then, “Mommy promised, too,” she said softly. “But she never came back.”

  I glanced worriedly over at Mac, who was standing in the doorway, observing the scene. He stiffened and I noticed his hands curling into fists.

  “Well, I always keep my promises,” I assured her. “And I’m even willing to pinkie swear on it. Do you know how to pinkie swear?”

  “Is that like Pinkie Pie, the My Little Pony?”

  “Uh, sort of.” I took her little finger and showed her how to wrap it around mine. “Pinkie swear!” I cried.

  “Pinkie Pie swear!” she cried.

  I leaned down to give her one more kiss. “Now get some sleep, okay?”

  “Not before the family hug!”

  “What?” I glanced over at Mac again. His face was a little red.

  “Just something we do before saying good night,” he mumbled. “Ashley, let’s just go to bed, okay?”

  The little girl frowned. “I can’t go to bed, Daddy. Not without my family hug!”

  I rose from her bed. “You can go ahead,” I told Mac. “I’ll just—”

  “No! You have to hug, too!” Ashley insisted. “It’s a family hug!”

  Now I could feel myself blushing. I knew I should say something—that I wasn’t really part of her family, just an invited guest. But I found, in the end, I didn’t have the heart to disappoint her.

  “Okay!” I said, reaching around to pull her into my arms. “Family hug!”

  I could feel a presence behind me and soon Mac’s arms wrapped around the both of us. I swallowed hard, my heart pitter-pattering in my chest as the three of us, for a brief moment, became one. It shouldn’t have felt as right as it did.

  Mac broke away first, dropping his arms and rising back to his feet, shuffling back to the door. I sucked in a breath; I couldn’t look over to see the expression on his face.

  “That’s better,” Ashley said sleepily. The thumb returned to her mouth and she closed her eyes. I sat there, for a moment, making sure this time it would stick. Then I quietly rose to my feet, giving Mac a half smile before tiptoeing out of the room. He followed me, closing the door gently behind him.

  When we walked into the living room, he turned to me. “You can stay, you know.”

  “What?”

  “Tonight. You’re welcome to use the guest room again. I mean, you don’t have a new place yet, right?”

  “No,” I confessed. “But you have Ashley now. I don’t want to impose. Or do anything that might confuse her.”

  “And I appreciate that,” he said. “But what if
you just left first thing in the morning? Bright and early, before she wakes up.” He shrugged. “I mean, seriously, save your money for your new apartment—don’t waste it on a hotel.”

  “If you’re really sure . . .”

  “I am.” His voice left no room for argument. I sighed and threw him a grateful look before taking my seat back on the couch. It would be easier, I tried to tell myself. And like he said, I could leave first thing. No big deal.

  Plus, to be perfectly honest? I didn’t want to leave.

  Mac rummaged in the kitchen for the bottle of wine and poured us fresh glasses. Then he sat down next to me on the couch and handed me mine. I took it from him, trying desperately to ignore the way my body started immediately vibrating in response to his sudden nearness. All night it was like the two of us had been playing house, which had made me feel warm and happy. But now that Ashley was tucked away in bed, another feeling was creeping in. Something a little less innocent.

  “You okay?” he asked, studying my face. I shot a glance over at him, hating the way my stomach flip-flopped as I recognized the concern in his expression.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I am, actually. This”—I waved my hand around the room—“has been a great distraction to my crappy day.”

  He nodded. “Like I said, that’s Ashley’s superpower. Able to leap tall couch cushions and make everyone happy in a single bound.” He chuckled, then his face sobered. “If only I could so easily do the same for her . . .”

  “You do,” I assured him. “I can see it in her eyes when she looks at you. She worships the freaking ground you walk on.”

  “Yeah, well, her standards are set pretty low,” he scoffed. “I mean, just look at this afternoon. The whole school thing—the kids teasing her—I had no idea how to handle that. Like, she was going on and on and all I could think of was whether there would be a jail sentence involved if I went down and socked some sense into a couple of four-year-olds.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m glad you figured out a way to restrain yourself.”

  “Yeah, well, thanks to you,” he pointed out. “But I can’t always rely on someone else to step in and save the day. And it’s only going to get worse as she gets older. I mean, growing up, I saw what my sister went through. Girls can be complete bitches, you know?”