Just This Night
Page 23
“It’s not funny,” I protested, rubbing my head and nose.
“I know, I know. Sorry. Here, let me help. I know a little trick.”
Before I knew it, she had scooted over next to me, her bare thigh pressing against the side of my leg. Then she reached over, prying open my mouth and sticking her thumb inside. I froze, unable to move, as she proceeded to press her thumb against the roof of my mouth, rubbing it slowly against the palette.
My brain freeze began to fade . . . but not before something else began to grow.
Oh God.
“Is that better?” she asked.
“Mmhm,” I agreed, trying to talk with her thumb in my mouth. “Muth bether.”
“Good,” she pronounced, then started to withdraw her thumb. But my mouth had other ideas and I found myself wrapping my lips around the digit, pulling her back in and sucking hard. She looked startled for a moment, then wistful, allowing me to swirl my tongue around her thumb, then bite down lightly on the nail. Then I climbed on top of her, straddling those bare thighs, reaching out to cup her breasts in my hands, brushing my own thumbs across her nipples. She moaned softly, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the couch. My erection strained against my pants as I continued to fondle her, her nipples growing hard as diamonds beneath my hands.
Realizing I was getting carried away, I let her thumb slip from my mouth and withdrew my hands. She opened her eyes, looking up at me with a mixture of wonder and fear. Her cheeks were flushed, her mouth was slightly parted. Her expression soft and dreamy.
“Please don’t stop,” she whispered.
A slow smile spread across my face. “Oh, believe me, I’m just getting started.” I leaned in to kiss her. “In fact, if I have my way, we’ll be doing this all night long.”
thirty-six
BETH
Danger, danger!
As his mouth came down on my own, warning bells rang through my head. My brain protested loudly that I should get off the couch, run out the door, go home, go to sleep—alone—and wake up the next morning with no regrets. Opening myself up, once again, to this—with no real assurance that this time would stick—it was dangerous. It was stupid. It was an unnecessary risk.
But I was going to take it anyway. Because it was worth it. He was worth it. Not as a one-night love lance. But as a guy I wanted as an exclusive.
Pushing away all doubts and fears, I opened my mouth to him, encouraging the fire that was building inside of me. Allowing myself to enjoy the sensation of his hot tongue invading my mouth, his five-o’clock shadow lightly scraping against my lips. Shivers ran up and down my entire body, and I found myself clutching onto him, as if for dear life.
He smiled at this, nibbling my lower lip as his hands dropped to grasp my hips. Then, without warning, he scooped me into his arms, as he had that very first night and my hands circled his neck as he carried me into his bedroom and kicked the door shut. Then he lay me down gently onto the bed, taking care to ensure my head fell to a pillow before returning to the door to lock it.
He stood over the bed, looking down at me with hungry eyes. I squirmed, feeling hot and shy under his gaze. The shirt I was wearing had ridden up to my waist and the cold air from the ceiling fan blew down on my flushed skin.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured.
I swallowed heavily. The old me would have protested. Made excuses, pointed out cellulite. Instead, I forced myself to accept the compliment—mostly because I could tell from the look on his face that he meant it. He really thought I was beautiful. Which made me feel beautiful, too.
He climbed on top of me, straddling my thighs, working patiently to undo each button on my shirt, then parting it like the Red Sea. Then his hands found my stomach, skimmed across the skin, before reaching up to sweep over my breasts, which were already rock hard. His fingers and thumbs came together, squeezing my nipples and I squirmed in a mixture of torture and delight. I found myself reaching up, helping him pull his own shirt over his head, then running my fingers down his chest, exploring each hard plane of muscle, inlaid under silky soft skin. My eyes followed the dark path of hair that led temptingly to his jeans, and I reached out to trace it.
He groaned, grabbing me by the wrist, pulling me away. “Not yet,” he scolded in a hoarse voice. “It’s still my turn.”
Setting my hand above my head, he lowered his mouth to my stomach, taking his time as he kissed a path down to the edge of my panties, all the while his right hand continued to fondle my breast. I gasped as his lips moved over my mound, so light I should have hardly felt it, and yet I felt it so much it almost did me in right then and there. With his free hand, he worked the panties to my ankles and I kicked them off. Then he settled his head between my legs, taking his time to thoroughly lick the insides of my thighs before his tongue slipped between my folds.
I cried out, my fists making handfuls of the sheets as I writhed beneath him, the sensation of his mouth pressing against my clit rocketing me to formerly unknown heights. His hands pressed against my thighs, keeping me open to him as he got to work, laving, sucking, licking. And when he finally bit down, ever so slightly, I felt myself exploding into a thousand stars.
“Oh, Mac,” I whispered, closing my eyes and riding out the wave of sensations, my body literally vibrating beneath him. Ryan had never made me come like this. Never took the time to help me see the stars. But Mac, he was like some kind of mad astronaut, effortlessly rocketing me into space.
Mac, who claimed to be so damaged, so broken. And yet he was the one who knew how to make me whole.
And suddenly, I was desperate to return the favor.
I looked up at him, blinking for a moment to focus my eyes, then giving him a grateful smile. “Is it my turn yet?” I asked, daring to reach out to cup him over his jeans. It was a daring move. Not a move the old Beth White would have made. But here, I felt safe. I felt warm. I felt daring.
As my hand moved lightly across him, he sucked in a breath. “If you’d like.”
I grinned like the Cheshire cat. “Actually I can’t think of anything that I’d like more,” I assured him. Pushing him off me, back onto the bed on his back, I leaned over him, kissing him on the mouth as I worked to unbutton his jeans. He kissed me back, desperate and hungry, his tongue invading my mouth, practically begging for me to hurry up. I sucked on his tongue, to foreshadow my immediate plans elsewhere.
Speaking of, I could feel his erection now, straining against my hand as I pulled down his zipper. With his help, I then managed to shuck off his jeans, followed by his boxer briefs, then wrapped my hand around his cock. As I slid my hand up and down the shaft, my mouth kissed a trail down his stomach, along the dusky trail of hair I’d discovered earlier. This time, however, he didn’t stop me as I reached my destination. Opening my mouth, I drew him into me, his rock hard yet silky soft cock sliding down my tongue.
He groaned. “Good God, Beth. You are seriously going to kill me.”
My mouth curved upward as my heart soared at the power his words evoked. It felt almost as good as being touched by his hands, to know what I was doing to him. And the fact that he was finally going to let me make him feel the way he’d been making me feel? I couldn’t think of anything, at that moment, that I wanted more.
I pulled away, teasing the head of his cock with a swirl of my tongue. Then I looked up at him, meeting his eyes with my own.
“Don’t worry, Jake MacDonald,” I said. “At least you’ll die happy.”
thirty-seven
MAC
At least you’ll die happy.
God, I didn’t doubt that for one second, what with the way she was going down on me now. The insides of her mouth were steaming hot, burning me with exquisite fire. My whole body was pulsating, begging me to take it over the abyss, succumb to the pleasure, go all the way. And yet at the same time, I knew that wouldn’t be enough. I wanted to be inside of her. Now.
Somehow I struggled to sit up, taking her face in my hands an
d bringing my lips once again to hers. Kissing her thoroughly, one hand secured at the small of her back, while the other searched the nightstand for a condom. Once I had one in my grasp, I pulled away from her for just a moment, tearing open the packet with my teeth. I could feel her watching, excited, anxious, pleased. Which made me feel all those things as well. Unlike Victoria, who saw sex as a chore, a way to appease me and get me off her back, Beth clearly wanted this. She wanted me. And the impatience glowing in her eyes made me want to both laugh and cry with joy. This was how it should be. Two people, barely able to keep their hands off of one another, coming together in shared ecstasy.
Now properly sheathed, I pushed her back onto the pillow, knowing she wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t gentle this time. Then I grabbed her hips with both hands, securing her as I lowered myself on top of her, all the while keeping my eyes on her face. She bit her lower lip, and for a moment I worried that I had hurt her. But then her mouth curved into a happy, unguarded smile. I smiled back at her, everything inside of me melting at the way she looked at me. As if she trusted me with her very life.
A trust I wanted to treasure and guard forever.
And so I kissed her, for a moment, content with just that. To cover her face with light, sweet kisses, rejoicing in the feel of my cock, resting inside of her. As if we were two halves of the same person, reunited at last.
Then her hips shifted, just slightly, but enough to deepen the connection between us. And, suddenly, I found myself unable to keep still a moment longer. I thrust against her, gently at first, then, harder, faster, moved by the encouragement I saw in her eyes. She arched her back, her curves melting into me as she matched my rhythm with her own thrusts. All the while looking up at me with those wide, beautiful, chocolate eyes.
Victoria had never looked at me during sex. She’d always close her eyes or turn her head. As if she wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening—or at least that I was someone else. I always suspected her mind was elsewhere as well, grudgingly allowing me to get the sex out of my system, while she worked on scripts in her head.
But with Beth, it was different. Beth was here, in the moment, completely present and active in what we were sharing. She was looking at me and I was looking at her and we were together as the waves of heat rushed over us, sweeping us over the edge. Her insides clenched as she orgasmed again and I bit my lip not to scream as I released hard inside of her. As I collapsed on top of her, breathing hard and heavy in her ear, I could feel her lips pressing against my neck, softly kissing me over and over again. The tenderness—juxtaposed with the ecstasy—almost did me in.
At least you’ll die happy.
Uh, yeah. Mission definitely accomplished.
I forced myself to roll over onto the bed again, not wanting to crush her with my weight. As I slid out from her, I felt a slight brush of panic as we once again became two. But, I reminded myself, she wasn’t going anywhere. She was still right here, right next to me. Just to be sure, I pulled her to me, cradling her in my arms and letting her rest her head in the nook of my shoulder. Then I held her there, securely against me, not wanting, at the moment, to ever let her go.
“God, you’re wonderful,” I said, a long sigh escaping me as I came slowly back to earth.
I could feel her infectious grin against my chest. “You’re not so bad yourself,” she teased, her fingers lazily tracing my abs, starting up the chills all over again.
But before she could distract me into going for round two, I gently pulled her hand away, kissing it softly before pulling her up to sit beside me. For a moment, she looked concerned, so I gave her a reassuring smile, meeting her eyes with my own. God, she looked so beautiful at that moment. So flushed and sweaty and sated. To know I had made her look that way—well, I almost died happy all over again.
“I’m not talking about the sex,” I corrected her, using my most earnest voice. “I mean, not that the sex wasn’t excellent, because, God knows it was. But Elizabeth, that’s only the beginning of you—and what you mean to me.”
Her eyelashes swept over her eyes for a moment, as if my words made her shy. But I took her chin in my hands and forced her gaze back to mine. “I’m serious,” I told her. “I’ve tried everything I could to push you away. To tell myself that this is not something I should want—that it will only lead to heartbreak and disaster. I told myself it was better to stay alone, that it would be selfish to put my own needs in front of my daughter’s. But then,” I added, shaking my head. “I look at you with her—how happy you make her when you’re around. And then I realize I’ve only been using her as an excuse.”
“What do you mean?”
I drew in a breath. “I put everything into my relationship with Victoria. I gave up everything that I cared about to try to make her happy. I put all my energy into making the marriage work and I was left with nothing but a big, gaping hole for my troubles.”
Beth gave me a look that nearly broke my heart. “Oh, Mac . . .”
But I waved her off. I had to finish. “I loved her. And when you love someone, you leave yourself open to getting fucked over by them. And when that happens, you are left with nothing. Emotionally bankrupt.” I cleared my throat, feeling the all-too-familiar lump rise inside. “I tried to tell myself that keeping you at arm’s length was to protect Ashley. But truly, it was to protect myself. I didn’t want to fall again and fall alone.” I groaned, raking a hand through my hair. “God, even saying that aloud makes me sound like a pussy.”
“Actually,” she said, “it makes you sound really brave.”
I grimaced. “Look, Beth. I don’t have a lot to offer you. I’ve got no money. I’m strapped down with a kid. And emotionally, well, I’m damaged goods, baby, and don’t even know how to do a proper relationship anymore.” I sighed. “Half of me wants to tell you to get up and run. Far away and never look back. The other half . . .” I closed my eyes. “The other half wants to take you in my arms right now and never, ever fucking let you go.”
Her lips parted. I could tell she wanted to speak, but also wanted me to continue. She knew it was hard for me to say the words out loud. But she knew how badly I needed to say them anyway.
Because she knew me that well.
“I can’t promise you anything. I can’t promise you the happily ever after you deserve. I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you with my stupidity or that this won’t all go up in flames. But I can promise you one thing.” I looked up at her. “I will always love you with all of my heart.”
My voice broke and I found I couldn’t continue. It was too much, too soon, and I couldn’t tell if I felt relieved for putting it out in the open or more scared than ever. What would she say? What would she do? She had every right to walk away—hell, it would be the smart thing to do. But at the same time, as I held my breath, waiting for her to speak, I prayed she wouldn’t be that smart.
And that was when she kissed me. Taking my face in her hands and pressing her lips against mine. Impossibly soft, impossibly tender, and so rich with what tasted like love, it stole my breath away.
“I love you, Jake MacDonald. And I’m ready to take a chance with you.”
It was all I needed to hear. I took her in my arms. We made love again, the first time hot and heated, the second, slow and lingering. I took my time, wanting to worship every inch of her body, to kiss every millimeter of her skin, the tiny gasps that escaped her lips sound-tracking the night, sweeter than any music.
“What did I do to deserve you?” I asked as we finished. As she curled her body into my still trembling frame, I nestled my face in her hair, breathing in her warm, rich scent, never wanting to breathe anything else for the rest of my life.
“You didn’t do anything,” she assured me, sounding sated and sleepy. “You were just . . . you. And that’s all you ever have to be.”
She fell asleep, spooned against me, my arms wrapped securely around her waist, my face nestled at her neck. It was heaven on earth and I didn’t want to move a muscle.
Finally, slumber took hold and I passed out, still curled around her body. And when the morning light streamed through the window, my daughter, for once in her life, slept in. As if somehow she knew Daddy needed a few extra minutes of paradise this morning.
Before hell showed up at our front door.
thirty-eight
BETH
Ding-dong!
I groaned at the cruel sound of reality crashing into our fantasy world. All night we’d been together, cradled in this perfect bubble, safe and sound and alone, the outside world be damned. I’d known at some point we’d have to crawl out of bed, get Ashley ready for school, get us ready for work. But I had been hoping to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. Maybe squeeze in one more lovemaking session before facing the world again. (Yes, Mac made me that insatiable!)
“I don’t suppose you could ignore that?” I said, only half-joking.
Mac groaned. “You don’t know how much I would like to,” he replied, giving me a kiss on the forehead before sliding out of bed and grabbing his jeans off the floor. I watched as he pulled them on, one leg after another. “But it could be important.”
“Right.” I sighed. “Mind if I wait in bed?”
“As if I would allow anything else,” he teased. “Seriously, just give me five minutes to get rid of whoever it is and then I’ll be back. And you’d better be naked when I am.”
“I think that can be arranged,” I said with a giggle, pulling the covers up to my chin. Mac returned to the bed, yanking them back down so he could kiss each of my breasts in turn, then grinned at me wickedly before heading to the door. I watched him go, my entire body tingling all over again at the promise of what was to come.