Love Songs

by Constance Bretes

  “Hi, Jenn. Am I interrupting anything?”

  “No, I’m sitting here having breakfast with your sister.”

  “Oh really? She’s still not in the hospital?”

  “Nope. She says it might be another two weeks.”

  “Wow! Her feet are already pretty fat!” Jake snorted amusingly.

  “Jake! That’s not nice to say!”

  “Here, let me talk to that pain-in-the-butt brother of mine,” Anna quipped.

  Jennifer handed the phone to her.

  “You listen here, you big pain in the butt, you quit talking bad about me or I’m gonna come up there and bop you in the mouth.” She paused for a moment, then rolled her eyes. “Yes, I know my feet are fat, Jake. Thank you for reminding me of that fact.” After listening a while, Anna said, “Yeah, here she is, and watch yourself, snot.” Anna gave the phone back to Jennifer.

  “What’s up?” Jennifer asked Jake.

  “Nothing much. Just wanted to see if you were busy tonight after rehearsal. I’d like to take you someplace special.”

  “No, I’m not busy. Where would you like to go?”

  “It’s a surprise. You’ll know soon enough.”

  “Okay,” Jennifer said, not sure if she would like this surprise.

  “I’ll see you later, Jenn.”

  When she disconnected the call, she looked back at Anna. “He says he wants to take me someplace special, but he won’t tell me where. I’m not sure that I’m going to like this surprise.”

  “Yeah, that could be anything from him,” Anna admitted, laughing.

  * * * *

  When Jennifer got to rehearsal that afternoon, the band had already arrived. Jake looked over at Jenn with a smile as she walked in.

  “Hey, listen up, everyone,” Jake said.

  They all turned and looked at him.

  “We’re playing at the Wild Buffalo casino Saturday night. They announced it on the news late this morning and the tickets are already selling.”

  “Wow, Jake! How did you manage that?” Jon asked.

  “They heard about Jenn singing with the band, and they had a spot open and wanted to fill it. They asked if we’d do it, and of course, I said yes.” Jake smiled.

  Jennifer knew the band was elated, however, she was concerned about it being announced in the news. “Is it local stations or national stations that are announcing it?” she asked.

  “They are syndicated, so I guess it’ll be national.” He must have noticed that Jennifer was apprehensive and nervous, because he asked, “Is something wrong, Jenn?”

  “No, everything is fine,” Jennifer said as she looked over the music.

  She darted a glance over at Jake, wondering if this was a good idea. Her gut told her something was going to happen, and it wouldn’t be pleasant.

  * * * *

  Jake and Jennifer were the last to walk out of the studio.

  “Do you want to drive my car or take your truck?” Jennifer asked.

  “Whichever one you’d like to ride in,” Jake answered.

  She handed Jake the keys to her car and they got in. He backed out of the driveway and onto the road.

  “So, what’s this surprise?” she asked.

  “Oh, you’ll see. Just trust me, hon.” He smiled and drove the car onto the main road toward Hobbs, away from Jarillo. Jake pulled off an exit and into a restaurant called Knights Inn. They walked up to the hostess and Jake said, “Reservation for two.”

  “Name?”

  “Ackerson.”

  “Follow me please.”

  The restaurant appeared to be high-class. Jennifer couldn’t believe her eyes as she looked at the tables. Real Tiffany lamps hung over every table, each one different from the next. The tables were ornately designed with dark wood.

  The hostess led them through the bar area to the back dining area, into a little corner that was both private and romantic. They sat down and the hostess handed them menus, informing them that their server would be with them shortly.

  “This is a pretty fancy restaurant. What’s the occasion?” Jennifer asked.

  “No particular occasion, I just wanted to take you someplace special. That’s all.” He smiled at her.

  The waitress came to take their drink orders. “I’ll have ice tea please,” Jennifer said.

  “I’ll have the same,” Jake added.

  The waitress left to get their drinks.

  “What’s the special here?” Jennifer asked.

  “Everything on the menu is special, hon. You just have to decide what you’d like to eat, and I’m not talking about just a salad.”

  “Okay,” Jennifer said quietly as the waitress returned with their drinks and took their orders.

  “I heard about your father being in the airplane that crashed off the Florida Keys, but what happened to your mother?” he asked curiously.

  “She died from a heart attack a few months after my dad died. I think she died of a broken heart because she loved him so and missed him terribly. She wanted to be with him,” Jennifer reflected sadly.

  “Have you made any progress in settling the estates?”

  “No. I’m afraid I’ve let that go for too long, so now I have all these homes that I need to decide what to do with. I don’t even know where to begin really.”

  “Well, I think you’ve already started, haven’t you? I mean—the ranch?” Jake shrugged.

  “Yeah, sort of.” Jennifer hesitated, feeling uncertain, thinking about her reasons for being there.

  “What have you decided about the ranch?”

  “I haven’t decided yet,” Jennifer responded flatly. They sat quietly for a few minutes.

  “Do you mean you might still leave here and go back to touring and performing worldwide again?”

  “I don’t know yet, Jake. I’ve got a lot of things to work out before I decide what I’m going to do.” Jennifer looked into Jake’s eyes.

  “Jenn, you have to know that I love you, and I want you to stay here with me,” Jake told her tenderly.

  The waitress interrupted him when she brought their food and asked if they wanted anything else before she left the table.

  “Jenn,” Jake continued, looking into her eyes. “I love you. I really hoped you would stay here and live with me and make your life with me.” He reached across the table to take her hand.

  “I love you too, Jake. But I can’t just move in with you and live with you. I need more than that. Besides, I have other things to consider. One thing I need to do is get all the homes my parents owned ready to sell. That’ll take me a while to do. I have recording contracts I have to look over and make a decision on, and there’s another matter I have to figure out how to handle. I only said that I’d sing with your band for a few weeks,” Jennifer reminded him as she took a bite of her filet mignon.

  “I assumed once we got back together that you would stay on.”

  “We’re not really together. Yes, I’ve slept in your bed and you’ve slept in mine. We’ve spent a lot of time together over the past week or so, but what does it all mean?”

  Jake was quiet for a few minutes. “I think it’s been a time of renewing our relationship and rediscovering each other. I’ve forgotten how wonderful and intoxicating it can be with you, Jenn.”

  “I feel a strong connection to you as well, Jake. Maybe we should just take this one step at a time and see where it leads.” Jennifer changed the subject. “Did I ever tell you what the band did to me one night on stage?”

  “No, what was that?” Jake said.

  “We were doing a concert just before Christmas, and we decided to add a few Christmas songs to the rotation. During the performance of one of the Christmas songs, it was supposed to rain down this fluff that looked like snow all around me, and one of the guys in the band went up and replaced some of the fluff with some golf balls. As I was singing, I could hear this weird noise and looked around, and the golf balls were dropping down from the ceiling and bouncing around the stage. The ba
nd was laughing so hard they stopped playing, and then the audience started laughing too. I made the remark, ‘that’s some big, fat snowflakes’.”

  Jake let out a chuckle, and then Jennifer joined him in the laugh.

  “Another time, we were performing on stage, and there was a ballet company that had been doing rehearsal during the day and they were scheduled to perform that weekend. I was singing one of Stevie Nicks’s songs called Landslide, and suddenly the ballerinas came out on stage, performing all around me. I continued to sing although I did turn around and look at the band. They were still playing, but laughing. I couldn’t believe half the things those guys did to me and each other.”

  “Did you pull any practical jokes on any of the band members?”

  “No. They never included me in their schemes and I never asked. Are we still performing at Apache White Eagle casino Friday and Sunday nights?” she asked.

  “Yeah, they want us to continue to use the stage because nothing else is planned for this weekend.”

  “Oh.” Jennifer frowned.

  “Jenn, you might not know this, but I can sense when something is wrong with you. Your body language indicated that you felt uncomfortable with us going to the Wild Buffalo casino. What’s the problem?”

  Jennifer paused before answering. “There’s nothing wrong really. It’s just nerves, I guess, thinking about the bigger crowd and all.”

  “I think there’s more to this than you’re telling me. But I’ll let it go for now, honey. You know, of course, you can talk to me about anything, right?”

  Jennifer gulped, looked up at him, and said, “Yes, I know.”

  “You’re my endless melody, and I love looking into your eyes. You know that?” Jake asked her quietly.

  Jennifer smiled and whispered, “My world is empty without you.”

  She wondered for a moment if she should tell him about the stalker, but thought it might ruin the mood. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she was loved. Jake did love her after all. He knew her so well he could tell from her body language that something was wrong. A few weeks ago she would never have thought the relationship would come to this. The void and emptiness she had felt was being gently replaced with hope, and happiness. But she was still unsure if she could just live with him without being married.

  After they finished dinner, they drove back to Jake’s house in silence, holding hands.

  Chapter 17

  After Jennifer got in her car and drove home, Jake got into his pick-up and drove to his sister’s place. He knocked on Anna’s door and leaned against the door frame waiting for her to answer. After a few minutes, she opened the door.

  “Hey, fat feet,” he said teasingly with a slight smile on his face.

  “Oh, gee. What do you want?” she responded.

  “Got a few minutes?” he asked, turning serious.

  She opened the door wider and motioned for him to come in.

  Jake sat down on the couch and Anna sat in the recliner opposite him.

  “Where’s Rocky?” he asked.

  “He’s sleeping. He worked overtime tonight, so I fed him and sent him to bed. Having two grouchy people in the house doesn’t make for a happy home life. So, what’s up, Jake?”

  “I don’t know what to make of Jenn. I told her I loved her and wanted her to stay here and live with me. She said she loved me too, but was indecisive about what she wanted to do. She said she wanted more and handed me a bunch of reasons why she couldn’t commit to anything with me. I know she has her parents’ estates and recording contracts to deal with, but I don’t understand why she can’t give me a straight answer. I wondered if you knew what was going on with her.”

  Anna sat silent for a moment, then said, “I don’t really know the whole story. I will say this, I think there is something more going on besides what she’s told you. I sensed it the first day I saw her sitting at the café. I do know one thing, Jake. You need to get over this marriage phobia and ask her to marry you, not live with you. One thing she’s made clear to me is that she wants marriage and a family. And I think you do too, but you’re too afraid of it.”

  Jake thought about what Anna had said. “I just don’t know if I can do the marriage and family thing. You’re a lot younger than I am and probably don’t remember our parents’ lousy relationship. They fought all the time. Don’t you remember Dad physically abusing Mom until he finally killed her, and then himself? I don’t want anything like that in my relationship with Jenn. I want to give both of us a way out. If either of us feels threatened in any way, we could simply walk away.”

  “Jake, do you see any of Mom and Dad’s relationship problems in your relationship with Jenn?” Anna asked.

  “No,” Jake answered honestly. “I mean, I got jealous when Jenn went out with Joe, but I didn’t hit her or anything. And one night I went to her place drunker than a skunk. But otherwise, Jenn and I get along great.”

  “Then tell me how would this change if you guys got married?”

  “I guess I wouldn’t wonder about her with other men, but then I’d wonder if we’d take each other for granted, grow apart, and be stuck in a loveless marriage.”

  “Taking each other for granted sometimes happen in all relationships. But if we can’t rely on our spouses, who can we rely on? The trick is to recognize these things and sit down and talk about them with each other, not getting drunk and throwing temper tantrums. You know, I think Granddad did a really good job raising us after our parents died. I think it was because of Granddad that I was able to get past what happened to us and move forward with Rocky. I think you could get past this as well and have that kind of husband-wife relationship that Jennifer so desires. She just doesn’t believe in living together, and I have to confess, I don’t either. As for what else is going on in her life...as I said earlier, I think there is something troubling her, but she hasn’t opened up to me either.”

  “Do you and Rocky ever fight?”

  “No, we don’t fight. We have disagreements, and maybe spats, like tonight, because we were both tired and cranky. But never have we resorted to physically abusing each other,” Anna assured Jake.

  “Did you ever feel you wanted to fight? Um, throw things at Rocky, or come unhinged?”

  “Nope. We disagree. Sometimes I walk away or he walks away. But we always make up later and discuss the problem when we’ve calmed down. I wouldn’t be having this baby if we had any kind of a violent relationship. The question is this, Jake...do you ever feel like hitting Jenn?”

  Jake leaned forward and shook his head. “No, I would never lay a hand on Jennifer in a negative way. I never want any harm to come to her.”

  “If you want an open and honest relationship with Jennifer, then you need to have a serious talk about what’s really going on in her life. You need to start thinking about settling down—as in marriage and family—because I think this is the only way you’re going to keep her with you.”

  * * * *

  Tuesday afternoon while rehearsing, Joe stopped by. “Hi, Jennifer. Could we have a private word?”

  “Sure,” Jennifer said cheerfully. They went to a corner together.

  “I wanted to let you know that I ran a background check on the name you gave me the other night. I checked the local hotels in Hobbs and didn’t find him listed. If he’s here, I couldn’t find him. I could spread the search out to the other small towns in this county if you’d like.”

  “Um, no, I might just be over reacting. Thanks for checking, Joe.”

  “I also wanted to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about you, but something’s come up that kind of changes the dynamics of my relationship with others. Kaitlin and I had dinner a week ago and we’ve been almost inseparable ever since. It’s the darnedest thing. She suddenly appears to be interested in me, and I don’t know what to make of it. But I’m not going to turn it down,” he said excitedly.

  “I understand, Joe. You don’t owe me any explanations.”

  “W
ell, I did ask Jake if the two of you were back together again. I certainly didn’t want to encroach on his territory, I value our friendship too much. He alluded that you guys might be back together, just not serious yet.”

  “Yes, that’s one way to put it, I guess.” Jennifer looked over at Jake and noticed him watching them with a scowl on his face, his arms across his chest.

  “Do you think you still love him even after all these years, Jennifer?” Joe asked quietly.

  “Yeah, I know I still love him. But things are far from being settled between us. He wants one thing and I want something else. Thank you so much for looking into this for me, and for being so thoughtful. I hope Kaitlin realizes what she has.”

  * * * *

  As Joe left, he bid goodbye to everyone. Jake looked from Joe to Jennifer. Lots of things went through his mind. What business did Joe have coming here to talk to Jennifer? What did he do, ask her out again? As they settled back to rehearse, he started snapping at everyone, especially Vincent.

  “Jake!” Jennifer yelled loud enough for everyone to hear.

  Jake stopped suddenly and looked at her.

  “There’s nothing going on between me and Joe. I asked him for a favor and he was just reporting back to me. Anyway, he’s dating someone else.”

  Jake quieted down, and after they’d finished the jam session he apologized to Vincent. “Sorry I went off on you, Vin. I guess my feelings were pretty transparent tonight.”

  “Yeah, well, you don’t have anything to be jealous of, Jake. She loves you, plain and simple. Can’t you wrap your head around that?” he asked as he turned to walk away.

  Later that night Jake did some office work at home and then turned the stereo on to listen to Jennifer as he climbed into bed and tried to fall asleep.

  As he laid there, he thought about how he flew off the handle during rehearsal and how easy it was for him to get jealous. He then thought about what Anna had said to him. Jennifer wanted marriage and a family, and he just didn’t have the confidence in himself to trust that he could be a good husband for her and a good father to a child. Although, he must confess, the thought of Jenn having his child and what the child would look like stirred something inside his soul.