A Surrogate Love Affair

by Jaimie Roberts

With my heart beating rapidly, I stand my ground. “If that’s the case, you need to give your car back.”

  His eyes go wide. I know this is a deal-breaker. There’s no chance in hell he’ll give up that car. He’s already given her a name, for God’s sake.

  “There’s no way I’m giving up Scarlet.”

  I almost roll my eyes, but hold myself together. “That was the deal. If you’re backing out, so am I. What you don’t realise is that you backing out will impact a lot of people, not just me. You giving up your car will only affect you.”

  Gritting his teeth, he backs away. “I fucking hate this,” he groans, picking up his keys. “I may as well find myself a whore to fuck because I ain’t getting any here.”

  At one time, those words would have really hurt me. Now all I feel is anger. I shout after his disappearing frame. “The problem with that is you’d have to use a condom with her, too!” When I hear the door slam, I groan. When did things get so complicated?

  In anger and frustration, I take my glass of orange juice and drain it. Feeling pumped up, I grab my workout gear and head for the gym to let off some steam.

  After running on the treadmill for a half-hour, I decide to cool down on a bike. I’m so off in my own little world, I fail to realise someone sits on the bike next to me.

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  Snapping my head up, I see Ethan smiling at me. He has on blue sweatpants and a grey tank top, letting me see just how well-defined he is.

  “I was just thinking about you and Sarah actually.”

  He starts peddling. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I think we can start as early as next week. I’ll start using those kits on Monday.”

  His face beams. “That’s great. Just give me a call when you’re ready.”

  “Will do.” I look around. “Sarah not with you?”

  He shakes his head. “No. She rarely goes to the gym. We were supposed to visit my sister again this weekend, but Sarah’s taken ill.”

  “Oh no. What’s wrong?” I get the sneaking suspicion she may have faked it to get out of going to her sister-in-law’s again.

  “She’s complaining of an upset stomach.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll give her a call later to see how she’s getting on. I’m sorry you weren’t able to see your sister, though.”

  He shrugs. “There will be other times, which reminds me… The weekend after next, we’re having a party to celebrate my thirty-fifth birthday. My sister and nephews will be there, among others. Will you and Kyle come?”

  I smile. “We’d love to.” I secretly want to meet this witch of a sister-in-law anyway. “I’ve heard so much about your sister and your nephews that I feel like I practically know them already.”

  “I suppose Sarah’s told you about their relationship.” I nod. “Between you and me, I know they don’t really get along. I keep trying, but they just never seem to hit it off. Such a shame.”

  Looking at his sad face, I feel bad. “It can’t be easy for you...being in the middle.”

  He doesn’t say anything at first, then nods. “It does have its hard times, I guess. I’ve just dealt with it for so long, I’m used to it. Like that’s just the way it is. Do you know what I’m saying?”

  I think about Kyle’s mum and dad and know exactly what he’s saying. The problem with them is they’re completely old school. They don’t like the fact that I work, thinking I should be at home baking cookies and pushing out babies every five minutes. Unfortunately, with the exception of the baby issue, Kyle has grown up thinking this is the way of life. He only lets me work because he says he likes the lifestyle it brings him. With a double income, we can enjoy weekends away, nights out at dinner—that sort of thing. I know that if he had enough money, though, he wouldn’t let me work.

  “Yeah, I know exactly what you’re saying,” I reply, a touch of sadness in my voice.

  “Sarah told me you didn’t want me to mention to Kyle that we had met?”

  I wince, feeling a little guilty. Why is it that I feel I’m doing something wrong when I know it’s totally innocent? Like now. I feel guilty that I’m here with Ethan when it’s not my fault. I didn’t intend to meet him here. It just happened.

  “Yeah. Kyle can be a little jealous at times.”

  “Doesn’t that bother you?” I turn my head away. “I’m sorry. I’m prying when I shouldn’t. It’s none of my business.”

  I look back at him, offering a small smile. “No, it’s okay. You’re just being your natural caring self. It’s in your nature...being a doctor and all.”

  He laughs. “I guess. I suppose I’ve always been that way.”

  “What made you decide to be a doctor?”

  “It was when I was around thirteen. My sister got really sick with pneumonia. I saw how well the doctors treated her and how quickly she got better. I wouldn’t leave her bedside. The doctors kept telling me how much of a loving brother I was. When one said I should be a doctor, I turned to him and said, ‘Okay’, and that was that. From that moment on, I knew being a doctor was what I was meant to be. My sister and parents thought it was just a phase, but I stuck with it. I think it was just before my parents died that they finally realised I was determined.”

  I smile. “That’s so nice. It’s a pity your sister had to get sick for you to realise what you wanted to be, but I guess it was fate.”

  He chuckles. “Do you believe in all that stuff?”

  I nod. “Yeah, I do. For instance, take the night you and I were supposed to meet. If it wasn’t for the cab driver making a mistake, we would never have met and married our partners.”

  He nods. “I suppose you could say that, but it didn’t help that you both left from your house.”

  I start laughing. “Yeah, and the fact we had a couple drinks before we left. We needed some liquid courage. Maybe if we had been a bit more sober, we would have made sure.”

  “Oh well. It worked out well in the end.”

  Smiling, I look at Ethan. “Yeah, I suppose it did.”

  Suddenly, he stops peddling, looking like he’s in pain as he bends over a little.

  “Ethan, what’s wrong?”

  He tries to smile, but I can tell it’s forced. “It’s nothing,” he answers, practically gritting his teeth. “I think I may have just overworked myself at the gym yesterday. I think I pulled a…” He leans closer to whisper, “groin muscle.”

  “Oh no. Maybe you should go home and get some rest. Do you want me to drive you?”

  Shaking his head, he gives me a gentle smile. “I’ll be fine, but thanks. I think I will go home. I’m obviously trying to push myself too hard.”

  “You, of all people, should know better than that,” I playfully admonish.

  “I know. I guess that’s why they say doctors make the worst patients.” He carefully gets off the bike, wincing. “Anyway, I best go. I’ll see you next weekend.”

  I nod. “Sure.” I watch as he slowly walks away. “Are you sure I can’t help you?”

  Ethan waves over his shoulder as he walks off. “I’m fine. I just need some ibuprofen and rest. I’ll be better in the morning.”

  I make a mental note to text him later; otherwise, I’ll worry.

  I leave the gym and head home, finding an empty house. I’m a little disappointed Kyle isn’t back yet. I had hoped to talk to him about this as adults. Sighing, I dump my clothes into the washer, then head for the shower.

  As I wash myself, I feel a set of hands cup my breasts. Startled, I turn my head to see Kyle smiling at me.

  “Sorry I scared you.”

  I immediately relax in his arms, knowing that he’s calm. “That’s okay.”

  He places kisses on my neck and pushes his erection into me. “I hate arguing with you.”

  I sigh. “Me, too.”

  “I’m sorry about what I said about going to a whore. You know I would never do that. I guess I just get so angry sometimes.”

  I feel relief that he’s ap
ologising for his earlier behaviour. “That’s okay. I’m sorry, too.”

  He starts nibbling my neck. “God, I just want to bend you over and fuck your brains out. It’s been too long without the feel of you.”

  I turn to face him and kiss him gently on the lips, making him groan. “Make it better, baby,” he requests, trying to push me down. “Make it better and I’ll take you to dinner at your favourite Italian restaurant.”

  I can’t help but smile against his lips. It’s not like Kyle to beg. He normally just takes.

  So I do what he expects me to do and get on my knees in front of him. As I touch his erect penis, Kyle throws his head back and grips my hair. “Suck it, baby.” He pushes my head forward as I open my mouth. I take him in deep, hearing his moan when I do. “Fuck… That feels incredible.”

  I start working him back and forth, massaging his balls as I go. Kyle bucks and hisses, gripping my hair tightly to push himself deeper. I almost gag, but I keep going. I know he’ll come quickly, especially because it’s been a week since we’ve been together.

  Kyle starts flexing his hips to meet my movements. His breathing becomes more ragged, his body rigid with an impending orgasm.

  “Fuck, I’m going to come. Shit, Alice!” he screams, flexing his hips one last time. I feel his come hit the back of my throat. He loosens his grip on my hair. “You give the best head.” He helps me up and kisses me on the cheek. “Don’t be long. I have a meal to take you to.”

  I nod. “I’ll be out soon.” I watch as he leaves.

  Sighing, I start to wash myself, my nipples puckering as I glide my fingers over them.

  Thinking about what Sarah told me, I pick up the showerhead and place it against my nipples. I feel the spark of excitement course through my veins as I lean back against the wall. It’s cold, but I don’t care. I lift my leg and direct the spray to my clit. I let out a moan as I circle it around my pussy. Knowing I don’t have a lot of time, I pick up the pace, applying a little more pressure. It’s not long before I feel the build-up. I moan again, letting it come. I welcome it—needing it more than I realised. My orgasm lets loose and I throw my head back.

  I feel euphoric and dizzy as I allow myself a little time to calm. Unfortunately, the feeling doesn’t last long.

  “Come on, Alice. I’m getting hungry.”

  Sighing, I turn the shower off. “Sorry.” I grab a towel and dry off, then walk out to get dressed. Luckily, Kyle isn’t in the bedroom, so I can get ready without any distractions.

  Once dressed in a little black number, I remember how Ethan looked today, so I quickly grab my phone and text him. I hide behind the door and look out, just in case Kyle appears. It’s stupid to be like this when all I’m doing is texting a friend to ask if he’s feeling better. I quickly press SEND, blowing out a breath.

  “Are you ready, Alice?” I hear Kyle shout.

  I grab my bag. “I’m coming!” I’m just about to walk out of the bedroom when my phone chimes with a text message. I look down and see it’s from Ethan.

  Feeling much better now, thanks. The ibuprofen did the trick. Thank you for thinking of me. Enjoy your evening.

  Smiling, I place the phone in my handbag and rush for the stairs. I feel much better knowing that Ethan is on the mend. As I reach the bottom step, I see Kyle standing there in a nice burgundy shirt and beige chinos.

  “I will be the envy of every man,” he says, looking me up and down. “Are you ready?” He offers me his arm.

  Walking toward him, I smile. “I’m ready.”

  Chapter Ten

  “How are you feeling about all this?”

  Sitting in Ethan’s office, I can feel my nerves getting the best of me. Today is day one of insemination. I took the test in my office today, seeing that I was ovulating. I called Ethan, who told me to come down at lunchtime. So here I am, clutching my bag.

  “A little nervous. I just want this to work.”

  Ethan smiles. “I understand, but don’t get too stressed out. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”

  “I guess my little fate speech worked, huh?”

  He laughs. “Yeah, I guess it did.”

  I stare at something on his desk with a tissue over it. “Is that...?”

  “My sample? Yes. It’s ready whenever you are.”

  I take a deep breath. “Okay. I’m ready.”

  Standing up, he looks flustered. “If you want, I can get a nurse in here. I’ve left everything you need under that tissue, but you don’t have to do this by yourself. I will totally understand if you don’t want to have to...well, you know.”

  If I weren’t so nervous, I would have thought he was being cute. “No, that’s okay. I think I would prefer to do this myself.”

  Nodding, he walks to the door. “Okay. I guess I’ll just go get some lunch. When you’re done, just give me a call.” I nod and he leaves.

  I look back at the tissue and take a deep breath. I can do this. I just need to get through the first time, then it will be simple afterward.

  Placing my bag down, I take off my coat and place it on the hook by the door before locking it. I walk over to the table and pick up the tissue, grabbing the contents from under it. I close the curtain around the bed. I know the door is locked, but I’ll feel safer if the curtain’s around me, too. I proceed to get undressed from the waist down before getting everything ready. I try to think about this whole thing clinically, but it still doesn’t stop me from feeling how strange this is. It’s just so...surreal.

  Taking the syringe filled with his sample, I place some KY jelly on it and lie down. I take a few more deep breaths before inserting it. As I reach as far as I can comfortably manage, I start dispensing. Once that’s done, I place the syringe on some tissue and remain still. That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.

  For the next ten minutes or so, I lie there, wondering if a miracle is already happening inside me. The thought brings a smile to my face. I sit up and get dressed, then clean everything up. Picking up my mobile, I call Ethan to let him know I’m done.

  He soon enters, smiling as he takes a seat. “I bet you’re glad that’s over with.”

  I chuckle. “Yes, a bit.”

  “Changing the subject… Are you and Kyle coming to my party on Saturday?”

  I nod. “Yes, we’ll be there, which reminds me…” I pick up my bag. “Kyle wants to get you something rather...predictable, shall we say. I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of getting you something else. You can open it on Saturday morning.” I dig it out of my bag and hand it to him.

  He accepts it, smiling. “That’s very generous of you. Thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it.”

  The room becomes silent, making me feel a little awkward. I can’t help but think I have this man’s sperm inside me.

  Suddenly, I get up. “Well, I best get back to work. I need to pick up a sandwich on the way.”

  Ethan looks guilty. “I’m sorry I’m keeping you from eating.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t mind. I do feel a little hungry now, though. I’ll call you if the pregnancy test comes up positive.”

  Ethan gets up and smiles. “I look forward to it. See you soon, Alice.”

  “Bye,” I respond, quickly exiting. I don’t know what’s come over me all of a sudden. Knowing I have a part of him inside me makes me feel a little embarrassed.

  Shaking my head, I exit the building and grab a sandwich from a delicatessen along the way. I’m back with enough time to eat it before having to get back to work.

  “How did it go?” Sally asks, leaning a hip on the edge of my desk.

  “A bit strange. I did it, then felt like I had to get out of there.”

  She laughs. “It’s usually the guy who runs afterward.”

  I snort. “Oh, stop it. That makes it even worse.”

  She nudges me. “I’m only joking. It’ll be easier next time. In fact, I bet it gets easier every time you do it.”

  Just as sh
e says this, my phone starts ringing. “I’d better take this.” Sally rolls her eyes. We both know who it is.

  I answer, immediately hearing Kyle’s voice. “How was it?” He knows where I’ve been. He wasn’t happy about it when I called him before I left.

  “It went okay. Very clinical. The nurse was there and did everything.” I hate lying, but I know Kyle would flip out if he knew I did it myself.

  “Where was Ethan?”

  “He was out to lunch.”

  I hear him sigh. “Maybe I don’t want to know.” He pauses a moment. I know he finds the whole thing difficult. I sometimes feel really guilty about it and think about calling it quits. But then he says something terrible, which makes me more determined than ever to go through with it. “Listen, I’m going to be working a little late tonight. The boss has some important clients coming in from the States who he wants me to meet and greet.”

  “That’s okay. When do you think you’ll be home?”

  “I’m not sure yet. I’ll keep you posted. Whatever you cook for dinner, just leave it in the microwave and I’ll heat it up once I get in.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you later then.”

  “Yeah. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.” Ending the call, I stare at the phone.

  “Is everything okay?” Sally asks, placing a cup of tea in front of me.

  I smile, looking up at her. “Thanks.” I look at the phone again. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

  “You don’t seem fine.”

  I look back up into Sally’s concerned eyes. “I don’t know. Kyle seems a little distant lately. He’s acting...strange.”

  She places a hand on my shoulder. “Maybe he’s finding this whole thing hard. Why don’t you book a weekend away? I’m sure he’ll appreciate a little alone time with his wife. Maybe he’s missing the intimacy you two once shared.”

  I have been trying to appease him every way I can. When we don’t use condoms, I go down on him. But I know he misses what we used to have. “I guess. Actually, that sounds like a great idea. I think I will do that. Thanks.”

  She smiles. “Don’t mention it.”

  “Speaking of relationships, how are things with you and Larry?”