A Surrogate Love Affair

by Jaimie Roberts

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  I’ve hardly seen Ethan the last couple weeks. I know I’m avoiding him, but I need the distance to keep things from growing more complicated. Kyle hasn’t shown up at my door, but I’m still receiving messages from him. I also received a letter from his lawyer about getting a paternity test. Ethan arranged it for me a few days ago, saying he should get the results back in a couple days. I’m nervous, but not only because of that. I have an appointment today for my first proper scan. Ethan’s going to pick me up. Even over the phone, I could tell he’s excited to see our baby for the first time.

  Sarah has called, as well. I offered to meet her, but she insists on it being during one of my lunch hours. I keep telling her I can’t, but she won’t budge. Today, she texted me and asked me to meet her at two o’clock. In the end, I got so mad, I texted back.

  I told you I can’t meet during lunch. I gave you an alternative time, but you keep saying no. Besides, I can’t see how meeting would be a good idea. I’m not giving up my baby.

  I sent that two hours ago and, straight away, she tried to call. Because I am at work, I had to put my phone on silent.

  “Are you excited?”

  I turn in my chair to see Sally smiling at me. “Yes, but also nervous. I just want everything to be okay.”

  “I’m sure it will be.”

  I check my watch. “I better go. Ethan’s picking me up in five minutes.”

  “Okay. Good luck. Call me later. I want to hear how it went.”

  “Of course.”

  Grabbing my things, I head toward the lift. Just as the doors open on the ground floor, I’m confronted by Sarah, who has obviously been waiting.

  She holds her phone up. “What the fuck is this? That’s not your baby!” she says, pointing to my stomach. “That was never meant to be your baby. It was meant to be mine and Ethan’s.”

  Trying to ignore the looks we’re getting, I start walking toward the exit. “That was before you slept with my husband.”

  “So that’s what this is? Revenge because your husband and I fucked a few times? Big deal. Get over it. That’s nothing compared to what you’re doing to me now.”

  Outraged, I turn to her. “Like it or not, this baby is part of me and always will be. There is no way on God’s green earth I would ever allow something that is a part of me to be brought up by a selfish, undeserving wench like you.”

  She gasps in horror. “How dare you speak to me like that. After everything I’ve done for you...”

  “Name one.”

  “What?” she asks, dumbfounded.

  “Name one thing you’ve done for me in the eighteen years we’ve known each other. One selfless act just because you wanted to do something for your best friend.”

  She starts stuttering. “This... That has nothing to do with the fact that you’re threatening to take my baby away.”

  Opening the door, I walk through. “This was never your baby. I’m its mother. I’m the one keeping it safe until he or she is born. I’m not giving the baby up, so deal with it.” I look for Ethan’s Range Rover, hoping it will get here soon. I’ll be seeing my baby in a half-hour. I don’t want to have to deal with this.

  “You can’t do this,” Sarah screeches behind me.

  I turn to her. “Look, things have changed. I’ve changed. This baby is a part of me. I’m not giving that up. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the way it is. I had hoped we could at least part with mutual respect. I’m sorry our friendship has come to an end, but you have to realise this is all happening because of what you and my husband did. I’m not with Kyle anymore, and Ethan isn’t with you. Both of you were supposed to be in this together...bringing up a baby together.”

  Breathing heavily, she looks angry. “Ethan and I might not be together now, but we will be. He may be mad at me, but after a time, he’ll calm down and realise we’re meant to be together. When that happens, we’ll want to have full custody of what was meant to be our baby.”

  There’s just no getting through to her. “I don’t want to argue about this anymore. I’m keeping my baby. Now, please, I have somewhere to be.”

  “You... You can’t do this. I’m going to go to my solicitor and sue you, bitch. How dare you tell me I can have a baby, then rip it away. You’re a fucking selfish, nasty, evil bitch.”

  Just then, Ethan pulls up next to the curb. Immediately, I sigh in relief. However, when he and Sarah see each other, their faces contort in rage.

  “What are you doing here?” they shout in unison as Ethan runs around the front of his car.

  “I’m taking Alice for an appointment. What are you doing here?”

  She looks at me, then back at him. “It has something to do with the baby, doesn’t it? I should be there. I’m coming with you.” She makes a move toward the car, but Ethan stops her.

  “Where we’re going has nothing to do with you, now stop it.”

  She throws her hands in the air. “If it has to do with the baby, it has everything to do with me. I’m its mother.”

  Grabbing her by the shoulders, Ethan says, “No, you’re not. Alice is the baby’s mother.”

  “Of all the people in the world, how come she gets to have a baby and I don’t?” she whines before bursting into tears.

  When she moves to hug Ethan, he looks up at me apologetically. Do you want to get in the car? he mouths. I nod and climb in.

  As I sit there, I see Sarah bawling into Ethan’s chest. At that moment, I feel sorry for shouting at her. I know what she did was wrong, but it must be awful seeing a woman carrying what was meant to be your child. A part of me starts to wonder if she’s right. Maybe I am an evil, selfish bitch. Closing my eyes, I feel terrible. There have been times I’ve doubted myself for one thing or another, but never as much as now.

  As another ten minutes go by, I wonder whether I should call the hospital and let them know we won’t be able to make it. But just as I think this, Sarah eventually walks away, allowing Ethan to get back into the car.

  “Is she okay?” I ask.

  He sighs. “No, but she will be. She’ll have to be.”

  As he drives off, I look down at my hands. “I was so mad, I just shouted at her without thinking about the consequences. The only thing in my mind was what she did to me. I didn’t consider that she must be hurting knowing I’m carrying a baby and she’s not. I feel awful.”

  “Hey, hey,” he says, grabbing my hand. “You have no reason to feel awful.”

  “I know, but I promised you both this baby and now I’m breaking that promise.”

  “When you made that promise, things were completely different from how they are now. Of course that would make you doubt the future of your baby.”

  Biting my lip, I wonder whether to tell him. “She seems to think you’ll get over it and get back together. That means you raising this baby together.”

  He stares at the road, shaking his head. “I’ve already had countless conversations about this with her. I keep telling her that I can eventually forgive what she’s done, but I’ll never forget. With that in mind, there’s no way we could have a happy marriage. What she did would always end up getting in the way. It would drive me crazy wondering if she’s with another man when she’s not with me. Who wants to have to deal with that?”

  “Do you still love her?”

  “I think I was always in love with the idea of us.” He glances at me. “Does that make sense?”

  Smiling, I nod. “It makes perfect sense. I guess I had the same situation with Kyle. I always knew I wanted the house, the marriage, eventually kids. I guess I thought Kyle would be the one to give me all that.”

  “Has he been bothering you lately?”

  “He texted me from an unknown number yesterday, asking if I had received the letter yet. I texted back asking what letter and he went silent.”

  Ethan smiles. “Good thinking.”

  “We both know it’s him, but I can’t prove that in court. He j
ust leaves me cryptic messages letting me know it’s him, but not so much that I can prove it to the police.”

  Just as we pull into the hospital car park, he shakes his head. “He thinks he’s being clever, but he’ll slip up one day.” I check my watch. “I’m sorry. Have I made us late?”

  “Only by about two minutes. Do you think they’ll still see us?”

  “If they don’t, I’ll be pretty mad at myself.”

  We step out of the Range Rover and he grabs my hand, quickly leading me toward the hospital. I can tell by the look on his face that he’s worried. All that disappears when we get to the waiting area and see Kyle sitting there, casually reading a baby magazine.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Ethan seethes.

  Putting the magazine down, he looks up with a smirk. “Considering I might be the father, I have every right to be here.”

  Ignoring all the people staring, I walk up to him. “This has nothing to do with you. I don’t want you here. In fact, I’m calling the police.”

  I begin to fetch my phone out of my bag when Kyle says, “And say what? The injunction is on the house, not on you.”

  “If you’re not doing anything wrong, why are you sending me text messages from unknown numbers?”

  He frowns, looking innocent. “What text messages?”

  I move closer. “You know full well what text messages.”

  “Is everything okay here?” a nurse asks.

  I turn to her. “No, everything’s not okay. I’m due for my scan now, but I don’t want this man here.” I point to Kyle, who just crosses his legs and smiles.

  “You can have whomever you want in there, as long as it’s no more than two people. What’s your name?”

  “Alice Armstrong.”

  “Yes, wife of Kyle Armstrong, which is me!” Kyle shouts.

  The nurse ignores him and goes to check me in.

  “Can’t you just leave her alone? She’s done nothing to deserve all this. Nothing.” I can tell by the way Ethan’s arms stiffen that he’s really angry.

  “How can I when I’m the father?”

  Ethan starts to say something, but I beat him to the punch. “You don’t care if you’re the father or not. You don’t want a baby. You never have.”

  Kyle smiles up at me. “A man can change his mind.”

  I know the slimy weasel’s lying, but I’m fed up with these childish games. I’m suddenly tired.

  “Alice Armstrong?” a nurse calls.

  Ignoring Kyle, Ethan and I quickly follow the nurse toward the scanning room. It’s only when we reach the door that we realise Kyle’s following.

  “Go the fuck away,” Ethan whispers, pushing a hand against Kyle’s chest.

  He starts laughing. “Why? I’m having too much fun.”

  Ethan looks like he’s about to hit him, so I step forward. “I don’t want this man in the room with me.” Thankfully, the nurse asks him to leave.

  “No,” he seethes. “I could be the father. I have every right to be here.”

  “Not if the mother doesn’t want you,” the nurse answers.

  Kyle breathes heavily through his nose before looking back at me. “Fine, but I’m not leaving. I’ll be waiting in the waiting area.”

  I want to tell him to go home and leave me alone, but I think it’s best to just ignore him. All I’m doing right now is giving him what he wants. I know he doesn’t give two shits about this baby, but he wants to be an arsehole about it for some reason.

  The nurse leads us into the room and tells us the doctor will be right in. And it doesn’t take too long.

  The door opens, a lady with blonde hair, which is in a bun, and wearing glasses walking in. “Mrs. Armstrong, hello. Let’s get this show on the road, shall we? Do you have a full bladder?”

  It’s only then that I realise I need to pee. “Yes.”

  “Okay. Hop up on the bed and loosen your trousers a bit.”

  After I do, she places the jelly on my stomach. Ethan takes a seat by me and takes my hand, smiling.

  “Okay. Let’s see if your baby will pose for us.”

  Turning away from Ethan, I stare at the fuzzy black screen in front of me. She moves the ultrasound scanner around my belly, so we don’t see anything at first. Then she places it in a certain position, an outline coming into view.

  “Oh, my god,” I cry. “That’s our baby?”

  The doctor smiles. “That’s your baby.”

  I turn to Ethan with tears in my eyes. “I can’t believe it.”

  At that moment, I forget about the troubles we’ve endured and the ones ahead. In the midst of all the turmoil, there is this little miracle growing inside me. No one can take that away from us.

  Ethan looks at the screen before looking back at me. “Perfect,” he says, squeezing my hand.

  We both stare at the screen and wait as the doctor takes the baby’s measurements. “All looks perfect,” she says. “Heart and lungs are fine and developing nicely. I would say you are about thirteen weeks, so that gives you a due date for the seventeenth of September.” She looks at us with a smile before wiping the gel off my belly. “We just need to schedule your sixteen-week scan, so another three to four weeks. Get yourself organised and I’ll sort that out for you.” She smiles and walks to the door.

  “Thank you,” I say as she walks out, then I look back at Ethan.

  “You clever girl,” he says, helping me off the bed.

  “For what?”

  “For making our baby.” He places a hand over my stomach. “For keeping him or her warm and safe.”

  That feeling I had in the pit of my stomach forms again as he touches me tenderly. I have this need to run my fingers through his hair and pull him close.

  “Lots of women do it,” I whisper, trying to keep my breathing under control.

  “Yes, but none of them are carrying my baby.”

  I bite my lip, trying to suppress my goofy smile, but it’s useless. Again, the air thickens and I let my emotions get the better of me. Without meaning to, my eyes trail down to his full, kissable lips. I lick mine before my eyes meet his again. Ethan stares back silently, the look in his eyes telling me everything I need to know.

  Is it possible to be blind to someone’s true beauty for years, then suddenly be awakened by it? I always knew Ethan was good-looking, but he looks positively scrumptious right now. When did that happen?

  “Here’s your next appointment,” the doctor says, snapping us both out of it.

  I turn toward her sharply. “Thank you,” I answer, taking the appointment slip from her hands.

  Ethan clears his throat and offers me his hand. After I take it, we head into the waiting room, smiles on our faces. But they soon vanish when we see Kyle sitting there, reading the same stupid magazine. He doesn’t give a flying fuck, so I don’t see why he’s pushing this. Once I see him, I drop Ethan’s hand. He looks at me and frowns.

  “So, how’s my baby?”

  “Our baby is fine. You can go now,” Ethan grinds out.

  I give him a look as if to tell him not to rise to the bait. Kyle’s only doing this to get the upper hand.

  “That’s funny,” Kyle says, getting closer. “I don’t see your name on her marriage licence.”

  “Yours won’t be there much longer, either,” I growl.

  Kyle turns to me and scowls. “You and I both know that a divorce is never going to happen.”

  “You’re fucking delusional,” Ethan barks.

  Kyle steps up to him. “When she finds out this baby isn’t yours, she’ll come crawling back to me. If Alice is one thing, it’s smart.”

  “Yeah, and the smartest thing she ever did was dropping your good-for-nothing arse.”

  When Kyle starts to retort, I interrupt. “This is getting us nowhere. We’re leaving now. Okay, Ethan?”

  He nods. “Yes. Let’s get out of here.”

  We start walking as Kyle shouts after us, laughing. “Three letters for you, Alice. DNA.”
>
  I grit my teeth. “Don’t let him get to you,” Ethan says, pressing the button for the lift. “He’ll eat his words once the results come in.”

  As we enter the lift, a dark cloud hovers over me. “What if it is his? What if, after everything we’ve been through, it turns out that the baby is his all along? He’ll have something to hold over me for the next eighteen years. He won’t leave me alone.” I start getting flustered.

  Once the lift pings, we get out and he pulls me over to one side. He grabs my face with both hands. “Hey, we’ll sort something out, okay? No matter what the outcome is, I will be here to support you every step of the way.”

  I look into his eyes. “But why should you? You’re only here because I’m pregnant. If it weren’t for that, we wouldn’t be seeing each other like we have been. We would never spend so much time together...”

  Grabbing my shoulders, he halts me. “And look what we would have missed. I can’t speak for you, but I haven’t had this much fun with one person in a very long time.”

  I smile. “Really?”

  “Really,” he says, smiling back.

  “Well, if we’re complimenting each other, I feel the same.”

  Smirking, he drops his hands. “You’re only saying that because you feel you have to.”

  I playfully tap him on the shoulder. “I am not. It’s true. You just beat me to it.”

  We walk out of the hospital. “You really mean that?”

  “I do. It’s been so much fun these past few weeks. I haven’t smiled this much in years.”

  Grabbing my hand, he swings it as we walk to the car. “You and me… We’ve led such sad lives.” He chuckles.

  I smirk. “I suppose we have.”

  And it’s at that moment, holding Ethan’s hand as we walk back to his car, that I think, I’m dangerously close to falling in love with this man.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  I get an anxious call from Ethan, asking if he can come around straight away. The only thing I can think of is he got the paternity results. Since he rang, I’ve been pacing the floor, thinking that whatever it is can’t be good. Maybe Kyle is the father. The thought brings tears to my eyes. No matter what, I want this baby. What I don’t want is Kyle to use it as leverage. I know I won’t ever go back to him, but I also know he will make it extremely difficult one way or another.