by Kaci Hart
“Of course. I could never forget that day.”
“Good. I wouldn’t want you to… Anyway, I was going to tell you that day that I had signed up to attend the university. I had just finalized everything when you dropped the bomb on me.”
“C’mon Chelsea, with all due respect, I think we dropped the bomb on each other.”
“Maybe, but that’s not what my friends think. If you ever see any of them, then you’ll know what the looks are for. Regardless of what happened, I can say that being around you with all your drive and determination made me take a look at my life. Although I didn’t agree with you nearly at all on throwing all of your time and life at work and the future, I realized that it was important to plan and to have a goal… a dream even. When we finished things, I almost decided not to go just out of spite. Like me holding myself back was going to somehow hurt my ex-boyfriend’s feelings. I was about to respond out of my own anger when I realized then that I actually did want to go back and that I was taking that step for myself and not just to impress my cute boyfriend. Make no mistake about it, I did want to impress you at the time I decided to go to school though. Just don’t let it go to that big head of yours.”
They smiled at each other for a few seconds before Chelsea tore her gaze away from his, staring off into the distance and thinking. Ryder broke the silence.
“Amazing isn’t it Chelsea?”
“What?”
“Just how much the two of us have changed.”
“Yeah, I guess we both have, haven’t we?”
“Do you ever think what could have happened had we stayed together?”
She wanted to say of course she had--that the minute she had walked out of the car she wished she’d turned around and found a way to do things differently. Instead she just nodded her head in agreement as he continued.
“I mean, I wanted to call you. I really did. You might be surprised to hear this but my family even tried to make me call you a few times when they saw me moping around the place. Of course if you know my dad, you know he tried to use it to his advantage, trying to incite me to come back and work for him again at the company. His exact words to me were ‘Son, if you are going to be miserable, you might as well do it working for me. Otherwise, be a man and call that girl.’ I didn’t go back to work for him, but as you know I never called you either.”
Chelsea felt good to hear that his parents wanted to keep her around but she didn’t understand the rest of his enigmatic actions regarding her. She didn’t change her number or tell him never to call. If he wanted to talk to her all he really had to do was just pick up the phone and dial the number.
“Why not Ryder? Why didn’t you call if you wanted to so much? You could have just picked up the phone and done so. It’s not like you ever had a problem using a telephone in the past.”
Ryder grabbed his stomach and bent over a bit, as if in pain.
“Ouch! That was a low blow Chelsea.”
When she realized that he wasn’t in real physical pain, she laughed.
“You’re right. That was completely below the belt from me but I just couldn’t help myself. You know you really should have called Ryder. If you cared.”
“I did care Chelsea. And I promise you that I wrestled with calling you often, one time even dialing your number and letting the phone ring before hanging up quickly.’
“I remember that because I saw your number on the caller ID. When my phone only rang once, I figured it was a mistake and that if you really were trying to call, you’d just pick your phone right up and do so again. Actually, I was hoping that you would. So what stopped you from doing it if you went so far?”
“Ultimately the truth is that I didn’t know what to say to you. How to even start that conversation. Chelsea, I let you walk out of the door -- out of my life. For all I knew at the time, it was going to be forever and . . . and I didn’t even have the courage the tell you how much I didn’t want you to go. I was a coward. How could I call you after that?”
She saw how serious he was about it. Had he missed her as much as she missed him? She didn’t know the answer to that question.
“Ryder, I am probably part to blame too. I never really wanted to go but I just thought that we were in completely different places in our lives. You didn’t say you were done with me. You just needed to work some things out and I was too impatient to give you that time. Truth be told, I was probably more of a work in progress than you were but I didn’t really see that. All I knew at the time was that I was almost sure that you would never change, and look at you now. You’ve done exactly that. I don’t know if it would have been different had we stayed together but there have been quite a few times when I wondered if I had made the right decision. Maybe I should have called you instead.”
“They say hindsight is twenty-twenty but one thing I have always been proud of is that I try to learn from my mistakes. This may sound like the dumbest thing you have ever heard but…”
He turned towards her with a look that said it all. I miss you...I love you… and everything else in between. He took her hand in his, rubbing her knuckles softly with his thumb.
“What about now, Chelsea?”
“You mean you and me? Don’t you think we are still in separate places a little bit because I think so? For heaven’s sake, look at us right now. You’re playing catch with Eddie, who is the cutest dog in the world by the way. And me. I still find it hard to believe that I am in school full time. We’ve practically switched places if you forget that you’re rich and I live in a flat with a half working half sleeping roommate.”
Ryder put his hands on his hips and dropped his head, releasing a heavy breath before starting again.
“Ok Chelsea, I agree that we are different but you say that like it’s a bad thing. It wasn’t our differences that broke us up. The issue there was that we were trying to change one another instead of loving things that were different between us that we liked. I mean there were mostly good times. The funny thing is that since we have been apart I think that we have individually found ways to change the things about ourselves that we needed to.”
He was fully gesticulating now, trying to make sure that he got his point across to her.
“Yes you are in school right now, but you’re still enjoying life. Look at you studying in the open here in the park. Not like a lot of students who are probably huddled up in their rooms, or the library studying. That part of you that needs to be free still exists, you’ve just made it better. Bigger than that, look at just how much you really have helped me. Now I’ve got my own business. I work at my own pace and I do what matters to me. I bet you won’t believe this but I haven’t gotten on a plane for business since I got back months ago?”
“You? The guy who was traveling every other week for some business thing or another. Not even once? Really now?”
“Really. True story. More than all of that, Chelsea I enjoy the things I do now. I look forward to my mornings and whatever life the day may bring. I am happier now than I have ever felt in my adult life. No…. that isn’t true. Chelsea I did feel happier in the time that I allowed myself to be with you.”
His honesty was touching to her and she felt herself getting more emotional than she had in a long while.
“Chelsea, I miss us. I miss us being together. I need to know if you think you could give ‘we’ another shot.”
Chelsea didn’t know how to respond. She never expected to be in that situation again. Not with him. It didn’t take her long because she knew what her answer would be but she wanted to have a little fun with him. She looked away from him and then walked away, kicking at the ground softly before turning around, looking at him again and away once more.
“I don’t know Ryder.”
She grasped her chin in her hand and looked around in an indecisive manner while tapping her index finger to exude the false impression of making a tough decision.
“I just look at you here and I see this guy roaming all over the pa
rk aimlessly with his dog while I am trying to make the dean’s list with weekly cram sessions. I just don’t know if I can fit you into my busy schedule.”
She couldn’t keep her face serious and he didn’t give her a chance to recover.
“Oh really? So you are too busy for me now are you?”
“Yep. Well not really. I’m only going three quarter time and since I think you are a cutie pie, I’ll find a way to make it work but on one condition only.”
“And that is?”
“Well, you just have to come over here and give me a hug because I have been missing them desperately.”
“With pleasure.”
He did. Afterwards they sat on the bench a little longer talking and catching up before he asked her to go to dinner with him that night.
Chapter 11
Chelsea couldn’t believe she had just spent the day walking around the streets of London but she had Ryder to thank for that. They had been dating again for three months and they were closer than they had ever been before. She had finally finished her first semester of school and it was her birthday so Ryder surprised her with a three-week trip to Europe, culminating in their time together here. Needless to say, she was totally surprised. She squeezed his hand a little tighter as they made their way down the streets of the historic old city.
“Ryder, thank you again for bringing me here.”
“It’s been my pleasure Chelsea.”
“It really is nice here, isn’t it?”
“Hold on for a second Ryder. Look at that building?”
They stopped to look at the building and marveled at the rich history of where they were. They had stopped in a couple of other countries the first few days they were here. Sicily in Italy, Paris in France, and Madrid in Spain. Each had country had its own unique flair but she was partial to the UK. Either way, it was a once in a lifetime trip and she was beyond thankful that he had brought her. It was so romantic that he had decided to do all that for her.
“I would not have wanted to miss seeing this place. You’ve made it a very special birthday for me Ryder.”
“Hold on Chelsea, you talk like it’s over. We’ve only been traveling for two weeks. This week is the highlight of the trip but you have no idea what’s on tap for tomorrow.”
“Enlighten me then, why don’t you sir.”
“I plan on doing just that, but first I want to go ahead and get something to eat.”
Chelsea realized for the first time all day just how hungry she was. It was getting close to supper time and they had eaten a light breakfast and lunch so that they weren’t weighed down as they walked about the city. She put her hand on her stomach. It was like him mentioning it made it come to the forefront of her mind.
“I think that’s a great idea. Where should we go?”
“Well at the hotel this morning, they said the restaurant on the corner was really popular with locals and tourists alike. What say we head back to the hotel and get freshened up first.”
“Great idea.”
When they got back to the hotel, they went to their rooms and freshened up. She was excited when she first heard about the trip. In fact, she felt that way right up until the point when they got to the first hotel room and reality hit her. What if he thought they were staying in the same room? Hopefully he didn’t mistake her taking his invitation to travel to Europe on his dime as carte blanche for whatever he wanted to do. She was sure her relief was evident when he laughed at her while giving her the key to her own room.
The warm shower did wonders for her as she didn’t realize how tired her body was from all of the walking that they had done. After she showered she got dressed in a flowered halter dress, with black pumps and matching clutch. She wore the earring and necklace set that he had given to her earlier that day. When he knocked on her room door, she walked out and into his adulation.
“Chelsea, I know I have said these things to you before but you look more beautiful tonight than I can ever remember.”
She didn’t want to blush. She tried not to but she couldn’t help it. His words were always silk and she felt that he meant every one of them. She looked him over and beamed. He looked really nice as well in his suit and tie, moving on to the more tailored and individualized suits that people his age wore.
“Well if I am going to be stepping out with the most handsome man in England tonight, then I need to make sure I at least look the part, right?”
“Funny, I was thinking the same thing about going out with you.”
He stood up, offering Chelsea the crook of his arm.
“Well, shall we?”
“Yes, lets.”
They walked out of the door and hailed a taxi to take them to the restaurant.
***
“Table for Chatham please.”
Ryder spoke to the maître de.
“Ah yes, right this way sir, Madame.”
He spoke with a spot on English accent that made her wonder where he really was from. Of course it made sense seeing that his mother was from England. He’d traveled to the country many times when he was younger. She laughed when she thought back to earlier on their trip. For her, every country they went to, she tried to work an accent. She was having fun with it until she gave up when he played a secret recording of how she sounded back to her. It was when she was trying a particularly bad Italian accent.
“Hey, you can’t record my voice without my permission. That’s law in America, I think.”
“And I’d be worried if we were back home but we aren’t. Plus the only real problem with that train of thinking is that if anyone heard how you were butchering the accent, they wouldn’t hold it against me.”
After that she decided that maybe a good old New York accent was the one that she’d stick with.
At the table, Chelsea kept it simple. She had already eaten so much delicious food in countries that were known for their cuisine that she didn’t mind a basic, simple meal. The whole time they had been in England, she ate one meal for dinner and it was probably just because she liked the way it sounded. Bangers and mash. It just sounded fun to her and she found herself loving the taste. Ryder, of course ordered steak. It was his meal of choice at most restaurants.
“So, how is your food Chelsea?”
“It’s great, you know. Do you want to try it?”
“I don’t mind if I do.”
She stuck her fork back into her plate and then fed him a mouthful of the mashed potatoes with a small chunk of sausage.
“Wow. Simple looking but unbelievably tasty.”
“I know. The chefs are masters of what they do.”
They talked for a good while more about a host of things. As their main course began to wind to an end, Chelsea mentioned how much she loved being in London and enjoyed the culture. Ryder went on to talk about how they should visit there every few years and redo the trip. Visit the same places, and stay in the same hotel.
“That would be fantastic Ryder. You know that sounds like you plan on staying around for a while.”
“Of course. Something about you has me hooked Chelsea. Oh that reminds me…”
He dropped his fork on the plate, surprising Chelsea.
“What is it Ryder?”
“Nothing. I’m just so happy about tomorrow’s itinerary. Tomorrow I’ve arranged for us to attend a Chelsea F.C. game at Stamford Bridge stadium.”
“Oh great.”
She didn’t want to let it show, but his announcement was a little bit anticlimactic. Sure she was named after the team but she didn’t really follow soccer.
“You don’t seem excited about it Chelsea.”
“No I am. You will probably have more fun than me though. I’m more of an American Football kind of girl, if I watch sports at all.”
“Believe me, I know. Still I figured . . . Chelsea F.C. and all.”
“I’m sure it will be fun babe. I just thought you were going to say something romantic like being ferried across the river in one of those
two person boats or a hot air balloon for two. Maybe a picnic. That kind of thing.”
“Well I thought it would be really nice if you and pop could go to a game together. Sort of like a bonding kind of thing.”
She looked at him, completely confused by both the words he was saying and the devious smile on his face. Something was up.
“Whoa now buddy. Two things. First is that I never would have taken your father as a soccer fan so even if he were it’s more likely to be for a business deal and less likely a soccer game. Secondly, I love your family and all, but I have no idea why you’d think I want to spend part of my birthday vacation with your dad. No offense but I have all the Chatham I want and need right here.”