There was a chair near the window; she decided to sit down.
Right before she woke up, or right when she’d woken up, she had been thinking something. Finn had panicked slightly when she’d thought of actually reaching for her dream. It was all well and good to aspire to stunt driving when it was only an idea, a practically unattainable thing out there on the horizon. But the closer they got to Southern California, the more real things would become.
Were these just late-night fears of unworthiness?
Yes, absolutely.
Iris already had a career. She’d attained at least some level of success in her chosen field. What had Finn done? Nothing. She’d driven a limo and won a few races at a dirt track, big deal. Those achievements were going to seem like a whole lot of nothing in Los Angeles.
Watching Iris sleep wasn’t easing her mind. Did Iris see this as a road trip fling and nothing more? Did she even take Finn seriously? Or was Finn simply a ride back to California?
Finn was tired and her thoughts were spinning. She shook her head to try to settle her brain. After another few moments, she eased back onto the bed, trying her best not to wake Iris. At least one of them should get some sleep.
She lay on her back, watching headlights from the highway seep around the edge of the drapes and flash across the ceiling. A siren wailed in the distance. Maybe the first one hadn’t been in her head either.
Beside her, Iris stirred, rolling onto her side.
Finn tenderly caressed Iris’s face and then settled back and waited to fall asleep.
Chapter Twenty-six
Crossing Arizona via I-40 gave Finn quick access to the best surviving stretches of the original Route 66 anywhere. Between the red rock mesas of New Mexico and the arid desert along the Colorado River, the route ran past dozens of old highway towns along some of the oldest and longest still-drivable sections of the Mother Road. The drive was truly spectacular, running at the foot of red rock cliffs, which towered above them.
Before the temperature climbed she’d put the top down so they could get the most from the vista that surrounded them. Once you’d experienced a scenic drive in the three hundred sixty degrees of a convertible there was no going back. The landscape was almost too expansive to take in. And the sky somehow looked bigger than it did back east. Maybe it was the lack of humidity that allowed you to see farther into the distance.
Finn couldn’t quite shake her mood from the night before. She’d hoped exposure to open spaces and the warm air might lighten her thoughts, but so far that hadn’t worked. She was sure Iris could tell something was troubling her. In fact, Iris had come right out and asked her. But she didn’t feel like sharing her insecurities. How unattractive was that?
To Iris’s credit, she hadn’t pressed Finn to share. She’d allowed Finn to sit with her thoughts and drive in silence.
Midway across the state, the route climbed the forested Kaibab Plateau. A short drive north would take them to the Grand Canyon, but they opted to keep driving. They’d both visited the Canyon before. Finn remembered mostly how crowded the south rim was, these days so much so that you could no longer drive the rim road.
Just east of Flagstaff, the old road was submerged beneath the freeway. The last sixty-mile stretch of I-40 across Arizona was little more than one long speedway. Sustained highway speeds would no doubt cause the roadster to run hot. Finn started searching for a place to get off the freeway.
The only town for miles in any direction was Kingman, Arizona. It was really the only option for services between Flagstaff and Needles. The town felt more like a way station than a destination, surrounded by open space and high desert air.
Iris stood near the car as Finn raised the hood. Finn had suggested earlier that they might make it farther, but they’d only gotten as far as Kingman when the car started to run hot. The interior of the car was also very warm, bordering on uncomfortable. Finn called it a “cabin heat soak issue.” Iris wasn’t sure what that meant exactly, but the car was definitely unpleasantly hot. Finn had put the top up before midday to shield the cockpit from the sun, but the outside air was ninety-seven degrees. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky to temper the sun’s intensity. Iris shielded her eyes with her hand.
“How is the car? Do we need to stay here for the night?” Iris wasn’t really in a rush to get back to California. One additional night in a hotel with Finn sounded very appealing. Especially if they cranked the air conditioning in the room.
“Running at a continual high speed in this summer climate is causing her to run hot.” Iris couldn’t help noticing the well-defined muscles in Finn’s arms as she braced over the engine, under the open hood. “Ward and I installed a more efficient radiator, but today it’s not completely solving the problem. I think we should find a hotel and let her cool down for the night.”
“I like the sound of cooling down.” Iris checked her phone for local hotels. “I wouldn’t mind some cooling down myself.”
“What’s nearby?”
“There’s a Super Eight just over there. The price looks good and they have a decent rating.” Iris pointed in the opposite direction to the exit ramp.
They were parked at a convenience store where Finn had topped off the tank with gas. The map also showed a few food options along this exit off I-40.
“Let’s do it.” Finn closed the bonnet. “Maybe if we’re lucky we can even park Scarlett in the shade.”
“Why don’t we just pick up some food and take it with us so we don’t have to go out again.”
“Sounds good to me.” But Finn didn’t seem happy.
It wasn’t that Finn was unhappy. She seemed…preoccupied.
Finn had been distracted, bothered by something all day. Every time Iris asked if she was worried or upset, Finn shrugged and said nothing was wrong. But Iris wasn’t convinced. She looked forward to being parked for the night, then Finn couldn’t use the distraction of driving as an excuse not to talk.
After a brief discussion of restaurant options, they agreed on Chinese food and got a few different things to share. The salty food tasted especially good for some reason.
“Can you pass me one of those soy sauce packets?” Finn squirted soy sauce on her fried rice and stirred it with her chopsticks.
The room had initially felt almost as warm as the outside air, but ten minutes with the wall-mounted AC on high and things were beginning to feel a whole lot better. Iris pulled her hair up into a knot, away from her neck. Long hair was like wearing a blanket in this heat.
Iris wouldn’t describe herself as chatty, but she definitely wasn’t as quiet as Finn. She took a few bites of food as she considered what a safe topic for dinner conversation might be. Something to get Finn to open up a little. It took a moment to agree with herself on a topic to bridge the silence. And then it came to her.
“What is it about cars that you love so much?” Iris asked the question as if cars were the most interesting thing on the planet to her, which of course, they weren’t.
“Freedom, I guess.”
That was not the answer Iris expected.
Finn looked at something on the wall, above Iris’s head, as if she were reading a sign.
“Yeah. Definitely freedom.” Finn returned her attention to her fried rice.
“But why racing, why stunt driving? You could love cars without the risk.” That was the thing Iris couldn’t understand. It was one thing to find yourself in a risky situation by accident, but another thing to seek risk out.
“There’s something about being in control of a machine with that much horsepower…controlling the beast…you feel alive.” Finn looked at Iris. “It gives you a sense of exhilaration.”
Her words made Iris warm, but not from the heat.
If Kent had talked this way, she’d have probably understood more. He could never articulate why he did the things he did. Possibly, he didn’t even know. She’d always assumed he was simply a thrill junkie. Maybe there was more to it than that.
“
When you’re racing, are you ever afraid?”
“Not really. I mean, there’s an adrenaline rush for sure, but it’s not really fear in the purest sense of the word.” Finn leaned her elbows on the table. “I read something once, about the guys who broke the land speed records back in the sixties. I can’t remember who said this, but one of them said something like he wanted to see how far he could lean out the window without falling out. There’s something invigorating about pushing your limits. About putting everything on the line. It makes you feel alive.”
Listening to Finn talk, she realized the terrible truth. That Finn was wonderful and wild and dangerous, and Iris liked the way she felt when she was with her. She liked it a lot. She also wasn’t ready for it to end.
“You’re really not one for small talk, are you?” Finn’s question surprised her.
“What do you mean?”
“You never ask me casual questions, like what’s your favorite color or what’s your favorite movie. It’s always something big, you know, meaning of life stuff.”
Iris smiled. “Because I asked you why you like cars?”
“Yeah.”
“For most people, cars wouldn’t be connected with the meaning of life.”
“For a driver it is.” Finn shrugged and captured a clump of rice with her chopsticks. “I like that our conversations are always interesting.”
Iris was happy to hear that Finn thought their conversations were engaging because she’d hardly said two complete sentences to Iris all day.
“Have I done something that bothers you?” Now that she’d broken the ice she might as well ask.
“No, why?” Finn was genuinely surprised.
“Because you’ve been unusually quiet today.” Iris hesitated. “And I thought maybe I’d done something, or said something, that upset you.”
“I’m sorry.” Finn set the food container on the table, with the chopsticks protruding from what was left of the rice. “I just had a weird dream last night. I think it put me in an odd mood all day.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” Finn smiled. “I’m not one of those people who shares dreams.”
“What are those people like?”
“You know, all woo-woo and touchy-feely. People who think dreams are real.”
“Hmm, I see.” Iris sipped her drink. “And yet, this dream that isn’t real obviously had an impact on your entire day.”
“Yeah, but—”
“It seems as if something with that much power bears examination.” Iris watched Finn squirm.
“Yeah, well, regardless, I don’t really want to talk about it.” Finn kicked her shoes off and stretched her legs out in front of her. “It’s not a big deal, and I don’t want it to be a buzzkill for our big night in Kingman, Arizona.”
Finn’s gaze was sharp. Whatever had been a distraction earlier did seem to have dissipated. She was laser focused on Iris. It was her turn to squirm. And then she had an idea.
“Hey, I was thinking of taking a bubble bath. Want to join me?” Iris gathered the mostly empty food containers and put them back in the paper bag.
“You brought bubble bath?”
“I have a small bottle of a lemon bath. I checked the tub earlier and it’s a little on the shallow side, but I still think we could make it work.”
“Okay.”
“You say that as if I’m forcing you to do some grueling task. Soaking in a hot bath is one of life’s great pleasures, you know.”
Finn grinned. “I’m more excited for the time with you than the bubbles.”
Iris sensed that Finn’s mood had lightened a bit. Maybe it had been nothing more than fatigue from driving or possibly the food had reenergized her, but Finn seemed more herself. Whatever dark cloud had been hanging over her head all day had cleared.
Finn waited for Iris to fill the tub and get settled before she joined her.
Iris catalogued all the sexy details of Finn’s tall frame—her broad shoulders, her long legs, her leanly-muscled thighs, her well-defined abs, and her arms. Finn had gorgeous, sculpted arms. If she minded that Iris studied her nude body she gave no indication of it. Finn slipped into the sudsy warm water at the opposite end of the bath so that they faced each other. Iris slid her legs over Finn’s, her knees broke through the poofs of suds like mountain peaks breaking through low-lying clouds. Finn swept her palm slowly up the outside of Iris’s leg. Finn’s eyes were closed and her head was tipped back against the tile. The light in the bathroom was off. Soft light from the lamp near the bed filtered in from the other room. Iris preferred candles, but this was the best mood lighting she could manage under the circumstances.
She rubbed her hands across her partially submerged breasts, lightly splashing warm soapy water across her skin. Finn’s eyes were still closed. The seductive display had gone unnoticed. She liked that Finn wasn’t too easy. The perfect balance for Iris was someone that found her attractive without going all fanboy crazy. She enjoyed the challenge of having to work for it a little.
Iris shifted her foot, resting it lightly against Finn’s stomach and then slowly sliding it downward. As she neared the stiff patch of curls at the apex of her thighs, Finn opened one eye. She smiled and covered Iris’s foot with her hand.
“Are you trying to help me relax?”
“I don’t know, is it working?” Iris bit her lower lip.
“Does that help you focus?”
“What?”
“Biting your lip.” Finn slipped lower into the water. “You do that sometimes when you’re concentrating. It’s pretty damn cute.”
“Well, as long as it’s cute.” She applied teasing pressure with her foot and Finn moaned softly.
“Have we soaked long enough?” Finn’s words were low and husky.
“I think I feel clean enough to get dirty, if that’s what you mean.”
Finn laughed. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean.”
Iris stood up. She sloshed water as she stepped out; suds slid down her legs as she reached for a towel. Finn followed her with her eyes, then slowly climbed out. She got a towel and draped it around her shoulders like a cape. She drew Iris into her arms and kissed her. Whatever darkness there’d been in Finn’s head, it had receded. Iris wrapped her arms around Finn’s neck. She was still dripping from the bath but let the towel pool at her feet. She pressed her body against Finn’s and kissed her unhurriedly, passionately, as if they had all the time in the world and nowhere they had to be.
Chapter Twenty-seven
It was hard to believe that they had just set out on the last day of their journey. Kingman was only five hours from Santa Monica. They decided to leave as early as possible. Not because Iris was in a rush to get out of bed with Finn, but because this would be the hottest part of the drive west. The pink of the sun had just breached the horizon behind them as they rejoined I-40.
The roadster carried them across the Colorado River where it separated Arizona from California. Finn pointed and Iris looked downstream from the freeway to see the arching silver steel bridge that had carried Route 66 up until the sixties. It was still in use, but not for highway traffic. It supported a natural gas pipeline; beyond it, the red rock spires of Needles rose sharply out of the desert plain. Needles was one of the hottest places in the country. The temp was supposed to hit one hundred by two o’clock. Finn had said she wanted to be past Needles and the Mojave before the temperature climbed.
The Mojave Desert was an arid region that covered parts of southeastern California and portions of Nevada, Arizona, and Utah. For all the time that Iris had lived in Southern California, she’d never spent much time in the desert. Truthfully, the terrain scared her a little. Harsh, dry, and unforgiving.
She braced her arm on the windowsill and held her hair to tame it in this wind. After a minute, she decided to braid it loosely so that it wouldn’t keep blowing into her face. Iris reclined against the seat to watch the landscape sweep past. Subtle variations of
brown and gray with punctuations of dry grass or cactus were all that was visible for miles.
At first glance, the desert was empty. There was something cleansing about its nothingness. This was a place where everything was stripped away, leaving only the most essential elements—sand, salt, and air.
Maybe it was her changed perspective from time spent with Finn. Maybe it was simply the act of slowing down and actually seeing. But Iris decided the desert and its desolation was beautiful. She turned to look at Finn. Her dark hair and sunglasses contrasted against the pale, arid landscape. Iris committed the image to memory so that she could return to it later.
Finn’s realness made her question herself. She often complained about the shallowness, the superficiality of Hollywood. The longer she ran in those circles wouldn’t she have to become just as superficial to survive?
She needed to work harder to retain her sense of self.
Finn sensed Iris looking at her. She returned Iris’s gaze and smiled. She captured Iris’s hand and brought her fingers to her lips. Iris sighed and resumed her study out the window. She was happy.
The desert extended as far as Finn could see. There were large sections of what looked like nothingness. As they reached the desert’s edge, Joshua trees began to appear. The trees looked otherworldly. In fact, the entire desolate landscape made Finn feel as if they’d missed a turn somewhere and ended up on Mars. This was a harsh landscape of volcanic cinder cones and sand dunes and prickly cactus.
As she scanned the horizon she couldn’t help wondering what had gone through the minds of the first settlers who’d traveled west in wagons. How had they not given up and turned back at the desert’s edge?
It was right about then that Finn began to question the whole plan. She might as well be on Mars, or some other distant planet. She was about to drive into the sunset and she had no idea what to expect from there.
As they continued west toward the coast, they passed through every type of Southern California landscape. Desert, over mountains, and through lush inland valleys and finally, to the beach town of Santa Monica, where Iris lived. California was like the land of insistent brightness. It had the feel of a place where it was always sunny.
Chasing Sunset Page 18