Josie Griffin Is Not a Vampire

by Heather Swain

  On my blog, I posted the pix of the girls and asked for help from anyone who had info. Then, even though I’d unfriended almost everyone I know, I went ahead and posted on Facebook because it couldn’t hurt to ask people to spread the word. Finally I got up my nerve to send an email to my idol, Graham Goren at Nuevo Indy. If anyone would go after a story about girls going missing from the same shelter, he would. The last thing I did was look at the Center for Missing and Exploited Children website.

  Searching the Indiana database of missing people for endangered runaways almost broke my heart. There were dozens of kids who had vanished from all over the state. At first I scrolled through the lists quickly, but then I slowed down and looked hard at each face. What happened, I wondered, to make their lives so bad? As I was doing this I came across a picture of a girl named Eleanor. She had a round face, thick brownish-blonde hair pulled in a ponytail, and bright blue eyes. She was smiling with her mouth half open as if she had been laughing. There was something about her that was familiar, but there was no way I could know her. She was from Elkhart, which is in northern Indiana. I’d only been there for regional cheerleading competitions. I read her info. She was seventeen, my age. Five feet five inches tall. My height. She weighed almost the same as me, too. We had the same hair color. Her eyes were blue and mine were green and she had a butterfly tattoo on her wrist, but other than that, we were so much alike. At that moment, I felt some strange kinship with this girl. What my grandmother might have called There but for the grace of God go I. I never understood what she meant until that moment. But I realized then that if Kevin had been an even bigger jerk and my parents less understanding, I could have easily been an Eleanor—the kind of girl who got in trouble over a guy and had nowhere to turn so she took off.

  It really sucked that the paras wouldn’t help me, but I knew if I put my mind to it, I could figure out what was happening to all those girls. I got back online and posted more pix until I fell asleep, slumped over my laptop.

  chapter 15

  the first thing I did the next morning was check my blog for any comments with news about the girls. Nothing. Then I checked Facebook. Nothing. I knew I needed to go back through my blog and take out my posts about the paras, but first I checked my email and about fell over when I saw a message from Graham Goren, the Graham Goren! My hero at Nuevo Indy was actually emailing me back

  Hi Josie,

  Thanks for your email. I’m interested in learning more about this story. Can I give you a call?

  Best,

  Graham

  Hells yes! I zinged a message back to him with my cell number and told him to call anytime. Then I got a text. I ran for the phone, thinking it might be Graham, but it was from Kayla. Come hang out! she said and I actually squealed with excitement like a dorky eight-year-old who got her first slumber party Evite. Guess it’d been a while since anyone texted me to hang out. B there soon! I texted back.

  I wondered if Helios would be there. I started punching in a text to him, R U going to…then I stopped. Did it matter if he would be there? I erased half of the text then I stopped again. Maybe it shouldn’t matter if he would be there, but it did. I punched the words in again. I stopped. At least I could play it cool. I erased and started over. Heading to Tarren’s. You coming? I hesitated before I hit SEND. Maybe they all went there every day and now I sounded like an idiot. Or maybe he was still irritated with Tarren and Avis and he never wanted to go there again. Or maybe the fact that I was going to be there would make him want to come. Or maybe I could write the most boring book in the universe that catalogued the minutia of my crush on a supernatural guy and make a billion dollars!

  I moaned and banged the phone against my forehead. This was when a girl needed a best friend or at least a blog to help her figure out what to do. But I didn’t have time to post all this nonsense so finally I punched in Going to Tarren’s. What’s up with you? I hit SEND before I second guessed myself and I didn’t wait for a reply. Luckily my dad had picked up my car from the mechanic and so I grabbed a fistful of flyers and headed out in Gladys for the day.

  “Look what I have,” I announced, waving the papers, as I walked up Tarren’s porch steps. Kayla and Tarren were sprawled, still in their pajamas, across two couches with newspaper sections scattered on the floor between them while Avis was perched right where I left him last night on the porch rail, only this time he was playing Angry Birds on his phone. I wondered if he ever left. Helios unfortunately was nowhere to be seen.

  Tarren sat up and took a flyer from me. “This is good,” she said. “We should plaster the hood with them.”

  I plopped down beside her. “So now you’ll help?”

  “Of course I will,” she said. She looked over at Kayla who was studying the flyers. “Anything for my girl, KK.”

  Kayla looked up and thumped her heart with a fist then pointed at Tarren. “Blood,” she said, and they both giggled.

  “Did I miss something?” I asked.

  Avis rolled his eyes. “Don’t even try,” he told me. “It’s like they’ve got their own secret society all a sudden.” He hopped down from the rail awkwardly and strutted across the porch. “If you ask me, it was staying up all night drinking butterfly milk. That stuff will mess you up if you’re not careful.”

  “Shut up,” Tarren said playfully. “KK and I have a lot in common.”

  “We formed the American Association for Dyslexics with Idiots for Parents,” said Kayla.

  “AADIP for short,” Tarren said and they both cracked up again.

  Avis and I looked at each other. I could tell he felt as left out as I did, but I was used to this kind of thing. Madison and Chloe ganged up and excluded me all the time then, just when I’d get pissed, they’d back off and beg me not to be mad. It should have come as no surprise that they teamed up in the end.

  “Are you both really dyslexic?” I asked, as if it mattered. But I didn’t hear their answer because my phone beeped. I slipped it out of my pocket and saw a text from Helios. Sorry. Family stuff came up. What M I missing?

  As I started to type a reply, the front gate squeaked open and we heard, “I have returned!” We all looked up and our mouths dropped open as Johann swaggered up the walkway. His waist-high jeans were stonewashed, his T-shirt said RELAX in big neon pink letters, and for some reason he’d pushed up the sleeves and turned up the collar of his boxy black blazer. Not only that, but he seemed to have inexplicably grown a mullet overnight and was wearing big, ugly aviator sunglasses.

  I snapped a picture and texted it to Helios with the caption, This is what you’re missing.

  “What’s up with that?” Tarren snorted when Johann got to the porch.

  “With what?” Johann asked.

  My phone beeped again. Helios’s text said, Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet?

  I howled.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Tarren asked.

  “Nothing, nothing,” I said, trying to control my laughter as I texted Helios back, OMG my aunt JoJo LOVES The Lost Boys! She made me watch it a zillion times. Johann is so Corey Haim!

  Johann looked down at his own clothes as if he was second guessing himself, but Kayla saved him. “You look awesome!” Kayla said. “I totally love retro. Especially the 80s.”

  My mouth fell open. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought she was flirting with him.

  Then Kayla pulled Tarren off the couch. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s get dressed.”

  As she passed, Johann inhaled deeply. His eyes were closed and his tongue darted from between his lips. It was the same look I remembered on his mother’s face when she wanted me for an appetizer.

  Once the girls were inside, I smacked him on the back of the head, sending his sunglasses flying. “What the H are you doing?”

  He caught his sunglasses before they hit the ground. “You have no idea how much I crave her,” he said.

  “Yo, you can’t hang with us if you keep acting a fool around that girl,”
Avis said.

  Johann whipped around to face Avis. His upturned collar and shoulder pads made him appear larger. He stepped closer to Avis. “You want her also,” he accused. “I can see it in your eyes. The way you look at her. A wolf lurking in the shadows.”

  Avis shook his head. “Dang, Johann. I’m not interested in that girl. I have more than I can handle with Tarren.”

  “You cannot keep me from her,” Johann declared. “I am drawn to her.”

  Avis crossed his arms. “I’ll tell Charles.”

  Johann shrank a little and pleaded, “No, no, don’t do that.”

  “Just be cool, Johann,” I said. “Kayla’s really laid back. If you keep coming on this strong, you’re going to scare her away.”

  Kayla came out the front door in Tarren’s clothes—short shorts and a tiny tee with butterflies across the front. Johann rushed to her side. “Have I frightened you?”

  Kayla laughed. “Don’t be silly. You’re, like, the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen.” He dropped to his knees and grabbed her hand then pressed it to his lips. She yelped and yanked her hand away. “Jesus you’re cold! You must have terrible circulation.”

  “Alas,” Johann said, hanging his head. “That is true.”

  “I don’t mind,” Kayla said and reached for him again. “I can warm you up.”

  They stared into each other’s eyes longer than necessary. Part of me wanted to tell them to get a room and another part wanted to slap Johann upside the head again and knock some sense into Kayla. Maybe he couldn’t help his preternatural attraction to Kayla, but what was her deal? She couldn’t possibly find him so hot, could she? He was such a dork.

  Johann reached for Kayla. “Would you like to go dancing with me?”

  Especially when he said things like that.

  Kayla blushed and stammered because what girl in her right mind would say yes to that?

  “Yes,” she said, and I realized then that maybe Kayla wasn’t in her right mind after all. Or maybe Johann had found someone on whom his mind tricks worked.

  Luckily I wasn’t the only one who found them annoying. Tarren got tired of their puppy-dog eyes. “Are we going to do this or not?” she said, waving a flyer between them, breaking their trance.

  “Of course,” Kayla said, looking away from Johann. “Anything to help my girls.”

  “And anything to help you,” added Johann.

  We walked the streets of Tarren’s neighborhood, hanging flyers on lampposts every block. Whenever we saw someone, we showed them the pictures and asked if they’d seen the missing girls. No one had. When we were almost out of flyers, we were near an elementary school yard with a basketball court.

  “Hey!” Kayla said, jogging across the grassy field to an abandoned ball sitting sadly on the sidelines. “Who’s up for some hoops?”

  Tarren, Avis, and Johann stopped at edge of the court. We all looked at each other nervously.

  “They’re really bad at basketball,” I told Kayla. “I already tried to play with them.”

  “Who cares!” Kayla said, dribbling toward the basket. “It’s just for fun.” She stopped at the top of the key and shot. The ball swooshed through the net. She grinned at us. “Starting forward, Evansville South High School girls b-ball team.” As she retrieved the ball from the grass, three guys appeared around the corner of the school.

  “Uh-oh,” I said and pointed.

  Drey, the neighborhood menace, strutted to the court. “Yo,” he said. “Who wants to play ball?”

  “Actually…” Avis shifted uncomfortably. “We were just leaving.”

  “Don’t start, Drey,” Tarren warned.

  “You don’t have worry about me,” Drey said. “I’m just being friendly.” Then his eyes landed on Kayla who held the ball against her hip. “Hello there, Miss Thing.”

  Johann moved at warp speed, sending his mullet aflutter. He wedged himself between Drey and Kayla. “She is with us,” he growled.

  “So, why don’t you have some manners and introduce her?” Drey asked.

  “Um, um,” Johann stammered and stepped back. He took off his sunglasses and began a very formal introduction. “Kayla, this is Tarren’s neighbor Drey. Drey, this is Kayla.” Drey reached for Kayla’s hand but when their fingers touched, Johann snarled.

  Drey shot Tarren a look. “Your friend got a problem? Only reason he’s still standing up is ’cause he’s with you.”

  Tarren rolled her eyes. “Let’s not start something,” she said and fluttered between them, pushing Johann farther away. “Hey, Drey, you seen these girls?” She handed him a flyer.

  Drey studied it for a few seconds then shook his head. “Nah. Wouldn’t mind to meet this one.” He pointed to Rhonda. “She’s fine.” Then he turned back to Kayla and winked. “Not as fine as you though.”

  Tarren shot Drey a warning glance, but Kayla laughed. Johann clenched his fists at his side.

  “You sure?” Tarren asked. “They’re missing.”

  “Well, they ain’t on the street selling something, I can tell you that. If they was, I’d know for sure. My cousin Big Ron runs this hood and I know every girl working out here.” He turned back to Kayla. “You looking for a job, honey?”

  Johann sprang, like a Doberman. Drey saw him coming. He hopped to the side and threw an elbow, sending Johann crashing to the concrete. He landed on the side of his foot then rolled to his back, clutching his ankle. “Ow! Oh! Ow!” he cried.

  “For the love of Jenny Greenteeth,” Tarren huffed. “Again, Johann? This is getting ridiculous. And you!” she yelled at Drey. “Haven’t I warned you not to mess with my friends?”

  While Avis and I were trying to decide whether to help Johann or keep Tarren from zapping Drey, Kayla draped herself over the moaning vampire. “Was that the same ankle you hurt the other night? You poor baby,” she cooed to him. “Do you think you can stand up?”

  “No,” Johann winced, but it looked to me that he was faking. “I must have sprained something.”

  “I’m gonna sprain your damn face for trying to jump me like that, fool!” Drey yelled. His buddies loomed up like shadows.

  Avis reached out and held Tarren back. “Keep cool, baby,” he warned, but then Drey grabbed Kayla by the arm and pushed her away from Johann. Tarren was ready to pounce, though Kayla didn’t need her help. She punched Drey hard on the shoulder and yelled, “Get your hands off me!” Then she started cursing up a blue streak.

  “Hey!” Tarren yelled. She wriggled between the three guys and our friends. “Everyone just dettle sown!”

  Drey towered over tiny Tarren, yelling his own string of obscenities back at Kayla who hadn’t stopped hurling insults. Then Avis stepped in, his elbows back, chest puffed forward, and I could have sworn a line of red dreadlocks rose off his scalp like a rooster’s comb.

  I watched the whole thing, frozen, unsure what to do to help until the guy to Drey’s left slipped something out of his back pocket. The sun glinted off the object. “A knife!” I screamed. “He’s got a knife behind his back!”

  Tarren whipped around. As if in slo-mo, her lips worked, searching for the right words. Trying to find a way to force them into the air. She threw her arms toward the three guys and shouted, “Freak Sneeze!”

  Drey’s head snapped back. The others followed suit. They sucked in air, “Ah! Ah! Ah!” as if gathering force. “Ah! Ah! Ah!” Instinctively I closed my eyes, threw my arm in front of my face, and turned away as all three guys exploded. “CHEW-EW-EW-EW-EW!” The sound of the enormous sneezes ricocheted across the basketball court, bounced off the school walls, and echoed into the trees and houses surrounding us. Their heads snapped back again. Drey convulsed in a series of quick relentless sneezes, “Achooachooachooachoo!” The guy with the shiny thing stumbled around sucking in air again, “Ah! Ah! Ah!” as the other guy tried to pick himself up off the ground where his epic sneeze had left him, but as soon as he got to his knees, he was thrown forward by another huge explosion of snot and spit.
>
  That gave Kayla just enough time to grab Johann. She pulled him to his feet. He let out a cry of pain as he put weight on his ankle so Kayla crouched down in front of him and yelled, “Hop on!” Johann looked confused but then he took hold of her shoulders, jumped, and wrapped his legs around her waist. “Nothing can come between us!” he yelled. Kayla took off running across the grassy field with Johann bouncing on her back.

  Another gigantic sneeze erupted from the three guys. Then another.

  “Tarren!” I screamed. “They’re going to pop a head vein. Do something!”

  “Snow knees! Snow knees!” she shouted.

  The three guys all started shaking as their kneecaps turned white and frosty and they continued sneezing up a storm.

  “I mean, no sneeze!” Tarren added. “And no snow knees!” she shouted, flinging her arms their way.

  All three of them collapsed to the ground, panting and moaning. Avis swooped down and grabbed the shiny object in the grass. He held it up and looked at me with bulging eyes.

  “Oops!” I said when I saw the cell phone. “Guess I was wrong.”

  “Go, go, go!” he yelled, pushing Tarren and me away. “Get the heck out of here.”

  He threw the phone and we ran for the school. We ducked around the corner then Tarren yelled, “Wait! Wait.” She peeked around the side of the building and flung her arms toward the guys, shouting “Forget! Forget!” at the top of her lungs. We pressed our backs against the wall then all three of us poked our heads out to see Drey and his boys wobbling to their feet.

  “What the!” Drey yelled. “What happened?” He clutched his forehead and rubbed his bright red knees and moaned.

  “Dang, man, how did we get here?” The guy with the phone shook his head as if to clear it. “Did we smoke something?”

  “Smoke!” the other one said, rubbing the sides of his nose. “We must have snorted some crazy thing.”