Stay With Me, Contemporary Romance (Last Frontier Lodge Novels Book 5)

by J. H. Croix

  She giggled and scrambled off of his lap, watching while he strode across the living room. The kitchen lights, which must have been on when they came in, filtered into this area. His body was nothing but muscle. She savored the sight of his back flexing as he leaned over easily to close the window in the corner. He turned back, tossing his condom in the trash by the kitchen counter on his way back to her. He stopped by the couch, looking down. “Do I need to plan to take you back to the lodge?” he asked.

  She shook her head. In her mind, there was no question. She didn’t want to be anywhere but here with Eli, so it seemed entirely silly to insist he return her to the lodge. Not that she needed to report her whereabouts to Gage and Marley, but out of courtesy, she felt she should since she was a guest of theirs, family or not. She’d told Marley earlier she probably wouldn’t be back until tomorrow and had tolerated Marley’s sly smile in response.

  Eli held a hand out. She placed hers in it, reveling in the feel of his calloused palm curling around hers. He tugged her up. “Where are we going?” she asked, almost giddy inside.

  “Bedroom,” came his succinct reply. He walked to the side opposite the kitchen in the cathedral ceilinged living room and pushed through a door in the corner. He flicked the light on, and she looked around as he kept walking. His bedroom was sparsely furnished with a king-sized built-in bed with sleek lines and topped with a dark quilt.

  In another second, they were in a large bathroom with a shower, an oval shaped bathtub and double sinks. He flicked on another light and started the shower, pulling her inside with him. The steamy water was pure heaven. She fell asleep a while later, snuggled under the downy quilt and tucked into Eli’s shoulder, his body emanating warmth and strength.

  Jessa woke with a start, the choking smoke of her dream clearing once she opened her eyes. The now-familiar feeling of disorientation and fear raced through her in loops. Her heart was racing wildly and her breath was coming in rough pants.

  “You okay?” Eli’s question was soft and threaded with concern. His low voice reminded her of where she was.

  She gulped in air and tried to slow her heart rate, mortified she’d had one of her nightmares here. They’d been gradually decreasing in frequency since she’d arrived in Diamond Creek. It figured she’d have her first nightmare in several nights when she happened to be with Eli. She felt his palm resting on the curve of her hip, the point of contact anchoring her to this moment. There was no choking, thick smoke filling the room and no fire. A sliver of air—cool and scented with spruce—slipped in through the small gap of the one window Eli had barely opened before they tumbled into bed. He’d explained that he slept better with fresh air.

  Right now, that whisper of fresh air was so soothing, she almost wept. Each time she awoke from these muddled, frightening dreams, she reminded herself she’d gotten out safely during the fire and she didn’t need to be afraid. Fear was a strange force. It had a way of burrowing inside, free from the rules of logic. Eli’s palm traced the curve of her hip, traveling up her side and over her shoulder to sift through her hair. He was quiet and for that she was relieved. The level of comfort she felt with him startled her. He seemed to understand her, just as now when she didn’t want questions. She merely wanted a few minutes to pass through to the other side of this feeling of fear and confusion.

  With his fingers idly untangling her hair and the warmth and strength of his presence easing the tension bundled inside of her, she eventually rolled over in his arms. When she glanced his way, his eyes opened to meet hers in the shadowy room. She considered what to say and decided the truth was the simplest.

  “Since the fire, I have nightmares sometimes. I got out okay, except for the burn on my arm,” she said, lifting the arm in question. “I lost just about everything. I didn’t mean to wake you, I…”

  “Please don’t apologize for having a nightmare. I’ve never woken up in the middle of a fire, but I can bet it was terrifying.”

  He kept stroking her hair, and she sighed. “It was. I’d rather not go through it again.”

  “I don’t even like thinking about what you went through.”

  In the quiet night, her heartbeat gradually stopped its fear-fueled pounding and she relaxed again. She fell asleep again with Eli’s hand stroking through her hair, safe and warm with the cool breeze whispering through the window.

  17

  Eli carefully tightened the mount on a customer’s shiny new roof rack. He glanced across at the customer, a young man named Adam. “How’s it feel over there now?”

  Adam gripped the base of the roof rack and gave it a good shake, or rather he failed to budge it even a tiny bit. “Rock solid. Awesome!” Adam jumped down from where he’d been standing on the inner edge of the passenger door to his truck.

  Eli stepped down and tucked his screwdriver in his back pocket, turning to face Adam who’d walked around to meet him. Adam was grinning ear to ear. He brushed his blondish-brown hair out of his eyes and held a hand out to shake Eli’s, his grip firm and enthusiastic.

  “Thanks man! Just what we needed. Mind if we stay parked here for a few minutes while I get our bikes and kayaks off that crappy rack we have on the back?”

  Eli chuckled, glancing to the taped together rack mounted to the rear of Adam’s truck. “No, take all the time you need. If you need any help, just holler.”

  “Got it. We’ll probably stop in again. Janet’s trying to talk me into a new tent. When we have some more time, we’ll come back. We plan to be here for at least a week.” Adam was referring to his girlfriend whom Eli had met briefly when they stopped by the other day. Adam and Janet were two of thousands of like-minded tourists passing through Diamond Creek for various outdoor expeditions.

  “We’re open seven days a week. Stop by when you can.” At that, Eli nodded and headed back into the store.

  Game to Fish was bustling today, although that was the case most days. Eli tended to feel pulled in two directions in the summer. He loved being out on the water for charters, but the store got so busy, he liked to be here to make sure things ran smoothly. Cliff was his main employee, but he had a rotating collection of employees who covered shifts in the store, most of them friends of Cliff’s. Today, their scheduled charter had canceled after one of the members became seasick the day prior on another trip. As such, Eli took advantage of the freed up time to catch up on things in the store. He’d conveniently forgotten there was no such thing as catching up on anything during the height of summer. From the moment he walked in, the store had been mobbed.

  Game to Fish served a wide range of customers—from those who were casual wilderness sightseers looking for the best binoculars to be found up through hard-core backcountry hikers, fishermen and hunters constantly looking to replace whatever item had just died in its given quest. He enjoyed the range because it enabled him to share his love of the outdoors with everyone. The bright spot of his childhood had been the gift of the Alaskan wilderness right outside his doorstep. He would escape the toxic tension always simmering from his father and spend hour upon hour outside, exploring trails, walking along the beach, and absorbing the peace offered. His first job in high school was on the docks in Aurora Harbor, the largest boat harbor in the Juneau area. He helped haul fish off of commercial fishing boats and made extra cash filleting fish for tourists. He’d moved on to work for a charter company in Juneau where he’d learned everything he knew about boats and fishing.

  At twenty-two years old when he’d clung to his control in the wake of another vicious talking to from his father, he’d made the only decision he thought he could—to get away. He was so afraid he’d become like his father, he couldn’t stand to be there anymore. Diamond Creek was considered one of Alaska’s coastal jewels and ripe for tourist dollars. Looking back, he realized he’d had no idea what he was really doing. He took a glimmer of a dream and made it happen out of sheer will. Every penny he’d saved up in his adolescent and early adult years had been sitting in a savings account. So
mehow, he pulled off getting a loan to start his business, and here he was today. Game to Fish was thriving. He might be worn out most of the summer, but he loved it.

  He threaded his way through the displays of gear and clothing and headed for his office. With Ryan and Cliff here to help, he had four employees working out front and could try to steal a few minutes to update orders. He’d started paying Ryan last week, although Ryan had tried to persuade him it wasn’t necessary. Eli ignored him and put him on the payroll. Ryan worked as hard as anyone, and Eli wasn’t content to let him work for free. Considering that his own work ethic was what had gotten him out of the hellhole of his father’s orbit, he figured it was a good thing to support.

  He managed to reach his office without getting stopped and quickly closed the door. His phone message light was blinking, but he ignored it to make sure he put in the orders for stock of what he called the staples—the basic gear they blew through all summer long, such as water bottles, day trip backpacks, windbreakers and the like. Every spring, he settled on a set inventory for those items and made sure to stay on top of it.

  After that, he checked his email and finally checked his messages. His chest tightened when he heard his mother’s voice. She rarely called his cell, although she had it. Sometimes he wondered if she called here because she knew he’d be less likely to answer.

  It’s Mom, Eli. I talked to your father about Ryan. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear he’s angry. I don’t think he plans to fight it though. I just thought you’d want to know. Tell Ryan I love him.

  Eli listened to the line click dead and sat there for a several beats before tapping the speaker off on his phone. He leaned back and ran a hand through his hair. He was relieved to hear his father didn’t plan to make this guardianship situation ugly. For Ryan’s sake, Eli wanted him to know he could stay here and stop worrying about it. Ryan didn’t talk about it much, but Eli saw the worry lingering in the back of his eyes. Eli couldn’t shake the muddle of feelings this whole situation brought up for him. Oddly, the way he felt for Jessa kept bouncing his mind onto tracks of worry he thought he’d long ago jumped off. Jessa had so effortlessly knocked down his defenses, he didn’t know what to do. He’d made a very clear, purposeful decision years ago that he wouldn’t try to do the whole commitment thing. Hell, he hardly even dated. He didn’t ever want to find himself in anything resembling his parents’ marriage. He feared because of his father there might be some part of him waiting to be triggered. He figured if he didn’t seek out relationships, he wouldn’t have to worry. This decision hadn’t been a problem for him. Until Jessa.

  Jessa was lightness, joy, warmth and mind-blowingly sexy. The way he felt with her was almost too good to be true and damned if he knew what to do about it. His conundrum now was he was afraid of letting things go too much further because he couldn’t bear it if he somehow hurt her. His fear about becoming like his father stemmed from a conversation he’d overheard his mother having when he was around ten years old. She’d been talking to her sister, who’d since passed away, and making excuses for his father. She’d repeated over and over through tears that Norm hadn’t been abusive when they met. Looking back, Eli wasn’t sure it was true, but it stuck with him. He couldn’t imagine ever being like his father, but he couldn’t shake the worry he could become like him.

  A vision of Jessa flashed through his mind, the way she looked arching above him when he drove into her. His body reacted instantly at the thought of her. His heart clenched and that unfamiliar feeling of intimacy she elicited pinged in his center. His mind spun to waking beside her when he heard her cry out in her sleep. He could tell himself over and over she was fine, and she clearly was, but it almost physically pained him to think about the fire. He had only the sketchy details, but it terrified him to realize she could have been hurt far worse than she was. There was a loud knock on his office door, nudging his mind back to where he was.

  “Yeah?” he called out.

  Ryan poked his head around the door. “Hey, um, Gage Hamilton is here. He said he was hoping to talk with you about some orders.”

  “Oh right. Just have him come back here. It’s too busy out there. You guys handling everything okay?”

  Ryan shrugged. “Think so. I mean, there’s four of us and we’re busy, but customers are moving through. I’ll go get Gage, okay?”

  “Yup. Just point him this way.”

  A minute later, Gage strode into his office, his eyes quickly scanning the room. Eli knew Gage was a former Navy SEAL, and he looked the part. He was in prime physical condition and carried himself with a somber alertness. The only time Eli saw another side of him was when he was with Marley and around his family. Then, Gage softened. Eli had enjoyed spending time with the Hamilton family the other night. They were so unlike his own family, it was almost surreal.

  Gage looked to him and nodded quickly. “Hey, thanks for taking a few minutes. He held up a folder. “I took a look at these catalogs. I tried looking online, but it drives me crazy trying to click through all the screens, so I circled what we’d like to order in these.”

  Eli grinned and gestured to the chair on the opposite side of his desk. “Have a seat. Let me take a look.”

  He quickly scanned what Gage handed over, seeing Gage was clearly looking to stock up on skis and ski gear for the lodge before winter rolled in. He pulled up his ordering screen and immediately transferred over what Gage had noted. As he handed the folders back to Gage, he thought of something. “You know, we could think about having a small area at the lodge where you kept some winter gear for sale. Not the heavy stuff you’re getting here, but jackets, hats, and gloves. That type of thing. It would save you from sending customers to town and help me hone in on what you guys need up there. Just a thought.”

  Gage gave him a considering look. Eli suddenly realized Gage’s gray eyes were quite similar to Jessa’s. He mentally shook himself to keep his attention from wandering to Jessa.

  “You know, that’s a damn good idea. Let me think on it and see if we can figure out how to make it work.” Gage glanced out the window to his side before his gaze locked onto Eli again. Eli sensed a shift in topic. “Jessa likes you,” Gage said firmly. “A lot.”

  Eli sat there, definitely uncertain about how to reply to this announcement from Gage. Considering that he’d avoided relationships of any kind for his entire adult life, it was safe to say he’d never had to worry about a conversation with an older brother of a woman he was suspecting he was in way too deep with. When it became obvious Gage wasn’t going to say anything else just yet, Eli nodded slowly. “Uh, you think so?”

  Gage leaned back in his chair, resting his elbows on the arms and steepling his fingers under his chin. “Yes. I think so. Look, I try not to be that brother, the one who thinks he has to clear any guy his sisters might date. With Jessa though, she’s, well, she’s never really been into anyone the way she seems to be you. She’s one of the nicest people I know, definitely the nicest person in our whole family. You seem like a good guy, but I have no idea what you’re after. Just figured it’d be better if you knew I won’t stand by and watch anyone hurt her. If you’re hoping for a fun fling, you’d better know right now it’s obvious she likes you a lot more than that. If you think you’re moving on, don’t toy with her.”

  After a few quiet moments, Eli realized he must look like a fish. He kept opening his mouth to say something and then closing it when he couldn’t figure out what the hell to say. You are in over your head, way over your head here. Get a clue and back off. Gage is probably doing you a favor. That was one side of his suddenly argumentative mind. Yeah, but I can’t just walk away from her. I… He had to cut off the other side of his mind because what he was about to say shocked the hell out of him. He’d almost said the word ‘love’ in his mind, albeit silently. But still. How could he even think the word? He didn’t do love. Yet, he couldn’t conceive of walking away from Jessa and cutting himself off from all that was good about her and how h
e felt when he was with her. What he said next startled him.

  “Look, I don’t know what to say or how to handle this. You say Jessa likes me. Well, I like her. A lot. I’m not going sit here and tell you I know what’s going to happen because I sure as hell don’t. The one thing I can promise you is I’m not out to hurt her. I know she’s special. I wish…” He paused and ran a hand through his hair. He wished all kinds of things, mostly that he had faith he could be the kind of man Jessa deserved. If only he knew that, he wouldn’t be worried about any of this.

  Gage’s hands fell and he angled his head to one side, narrowing his eyes. “You wish what?”

  Eli wanted to ask Gage’s advice, but it seemed odd given the circumstances. Eli shrugged. “I guess I wish this kind of thing was easy to figure out ahead of time,” he said.

  Gage threw his head back with a laugh. “Right. If only. Look, whatever happens, I’ll try to stay out of the way. I know Jessa can take care of herself, and now I know you might be in worse shape than her. Be good to her, and we’re good.”

  18

  Jessa carefully maneuvered the folding table she held up the back stairs at the gallery. Risa had given her a key to the back hallway to start setting up her studio. Once she reached the top of the stairs, she walked quickly to the end of the hall where her space was and leaned the table against the wall. She spun in a slow circle, trying to decide the best spot for it. She’d already covered the floor in two layers of heavy fabric drop cloths. She laughed to herself when she realized she had more space in this small room than she’d ever had in the second room in her apartment. The ceiling angled up to a point with light spilling in from the windows facing the bay. She settled on putting the table in front of the windows. That way, she could enjoy the view while she worked.