Take it Deep (Take 2)

by Jaimie Roberts

  Jerry winks at me and then pats Jessie on the backside, causing her to yelp and giggle again.

  “Please just go, go!” I shout, but I’m laughing along with them.

  I potter about for the next couple of hours just making time go in for Michael’s arrival. At roughly around twenty past eight, I hear a knock on the door. I look to see who it is and sure enough, it’s him.

  He’s looking rather dapper with his navy trousers and white perfectly pressed shirt. His hair is a mass of wavy dark blonde curls, and his smile is curved up in a way that would normally melt hearts. Unfortunately, mine is already broken to evoke any kind of reaction to it. Why can’t I just fall for a nice uncomplicated guy who will respect my feelings? The only trouble is I don’t just want nice, I want Jake. I mentally kick myself again. I really do need to stop.

  “Hi, Ana, you look lovely as always.”

  “Thanks Michael, right back at you,” I smile.

  He lifts his arm up brandishing a present. “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t have.”

  I welcome him in the apartment and open what he has got for me. It feels quite heavy so I sit down and carefully unwrap it. I place it on my lap and notice it’s another box. I lift the lid up; carefully unfolding the white wrapping sheets, and I stare inside. My eyes widen at the most beautiful figurine of a lady sitting tucked neatly in the box. I carefully pull her out and inspect her more closely. She is bronze with lovely sleek flowing hair. She has one arm up towards her chest and the other cradling her waist. She looks slightly to the side like she is admiring something, or someone. She has the most beautiful white gown that hugs her perfect figure. It trails down below her hips and flows out at the ends of her feet. It is the most beautiful gift I have ever received. A sudden tear rolls down my face. Michael notices and places his hand on my shoulder.

  “Ana, do you not like it? I can return it and get something else.”

  I violently shake my head. “No way, Michael. This is the most precious gift anyone has ever given me. Thank you, she’s beautiful.” He smiles satisfied that my tears are happy ones.

  “She reminded me of you so I had to get it. I’m glad you like it.”

  I lean over and kiss him on the cheek. “Like it, Michael, I love it. Thank you so much. I will treasure her, I promise.”

  I get up and excuse myself so I can check out my makeup in the mirror. All is not too bad so I just wipe away the tears, and reapply a few touches.

  I must stop all this crying. I’m like an emotional wreck lately.

  I place the figurine gently on my bedside and grab my bag. I take another long lingering look at her beauty before switching the light off and grabbing Michael to head out the door.

  It’s a little bit chilly now, so I wrap the cardigan around me for comfort.

  “Are you warm enough? Do you want to go back quickly and grab a coat or something?”

  “No, I’m fine, Michael. Let’s go. We don’t want to miss the movie.”

  He opens the door to his Grand Cherokee, letting me climb up. I smell the newness coming from the car and it smells nice. I inhale deeply as Michael climbs up the driver’s side.

  “I love the smell of brand new cars. When did you buy her?”

  He starts the engine and she roars to life. “I loved the way you just referred to the car as a female. She is nice, isn’t she? I had an old one and traded it in about a month ago for this beauty. She runs like a dream and will come in handy for the winter.”

  I groan. I hate winter and I hate snow.

  He drives out of the parking lot laughing. “You really don’t like the winter do you? I remember when you first started working—that was coming up for winter—you really were an unhappy bunny.”

  “I can’t stand it, Michael. I think I need to move further south where I can have sun all year round.”

  He glances towards me and smiles. “I have an uncle who lives in Florida. Maybe we can move down there together and enjoy the Sunshine State.”

  I laugh at his joke, but I somehow feel that a part of him isn’t joking.

  We get to the cinema in no time at all and grab our tickets. We queue up to get some popcorn and Michael buys some M & M’s, quickly informing me that I look a little thin, and that curves suit me much better. I nudge him in the arm but accept the chocolate. I’m on my period, so I seem to be craving them anyway.

  “You know there was some talk of a few guys going to the Bahamas for a few days in November. You may want to go with Jessie. I think it’s still warm there around that time of year.”

  This is news to me. “Really, are you going?”

  He nods his head, “I think I will. It should be fun.”

  I suddenly realize that I haven’t got my passport. I know my mum sorted all that stuff out for me, and it’s been a while since I travelled anywhere.

  “I would have to apply for a passport. I haven’t even got one. Do you know what you need to apply for one?”

  He looks stunned, “You don’t have a passport?”

  I shake my head, “Well, my mum took care of all that for me. I’m not going to go and ask her. Things between us are kind of awful.”

  He winces at my statement.

  “I’m sorry about that, Ana. I think you will need proof of your citizenship and your Birth Certificate.”

  Oh great, something else I haven’t got. “I’ve never seen my Birth Certificate.”

  We stand in the aisle queuing to get in, as Michael looks at me hesitantly.

  “You know the internet is a great thing. You can just about find out anything online. Try one of those government websites based in the UK; you should be able to trace yours from there. You can order it for a small fee I think.”

  I thank him and we take our seats, just in time for the film to start.

  Chapter 7

  The film was not as good as it looked in the trailer but sometimes it happens that way.

  Michael was the perfect gentleman, but on occasion felt it necessary to feed me popcorn. I just laughed and let him carry on as I knew he was just doing it to try and fatten me up.

  The air outside had become a bit chilly, so I was glad to get back to the car as soon as we did. Michael laughs at me as I try desperately to get warm.

  “You know you’re like a lizard. It’s not that cold outside.”

  I playfully hit him on the arm. “Hey, I can’t help feeling the cold.” He laughs but kindly puts the heating on for me.

  Very soon I’m feeling like toast and I almost fall asleep on the journey home—until I hear Michael cursing and shaking his head. I look up to see what had caused his sudden anger when my eyes are met with a certain piercing green I know all too well.

  My stomach drops as we near his car in the parking lot. I knew I had to see him tomorrow, but I wasn’t prepared to see him now.

  The knots get tighter when I see his pained expression after spotting me in Michael’s car.

  “You don’t have to see him if you don’t want to. It’s your choice, not his.”

  I turn and face Michael. He looks worried. “It’s okay, Michael. I would have had to see him tomorrow anyway.”

  Michael stops the car and gets out, but I’m rooted to the seat as Jake comes bounding over to Michael, grabbing hold of his shirt and proceeded to shout at him.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing with Ana? You think you can just worm your way in, is that it?”

  He has him hooked up against the side of his car and suddenly my legs will me to move as the anger quickly rises through my veins.

  I stomp out of the car making my way over the both of them. “Jake, how dare you treat Michael this way. You have no right coming here after what you’ve done and roughing up the one man that has only ever been kind to me. Take your hands off him now!”

  He releases his grip and Michael straightens his shirt out, but Jake still hasn’t lost the fury written all over his face.

  “I’m sorry. I just saw you with him and lost it, that’s all.” />
  I huff as I make my way to see if Michael is okay. I ask and he nods his head.

  “He’s one good friend, taking another to the movies, Jake. For goodness sake, you’re such an asshole at times.”

  He opens his mouth to say something, but then quickly changes his mind. “I’ve missed you,” he said.

  The tears threaten to sting, but I stand my ground. I’m not going to let him see me cry.

  “Jake, you and my mother,” I say, as I grip at my chest from the pain tearing through my heart. I close my eyes and will myself to look at him. When I do, his face has changed from rage to agony. He can see how much this is hurting me, but instead of feeling sorry for him, I feel glad that he feels some of my pain. He needs to feel what I feel.

  “I don’t know how that happened. I swear to you, Ana. We never had—”

  He looks at me and then at Michael. He knows this conversation shouldn’t be happening here, so wisely shuts his mouth. Michael feeling uncomfortable tries to make his excuses to leave, but I tug on his arm and pull him to my side.

  I’m shocked by what Jake nearly said. I kind of had my suspicions as my mum always seems to lead men on that way. I could never fathom how she did it.

  “So, are you telling me, Jake that this is some kind of miraculous birth? That this is the immaculate conception?” I start laughing as the whole thing sounds farcical. He places his hands on his face, visibly distressed.

  “A few months ago I found out you were on a date with some guy. I went out and got drunk. Really drunk. I remember Stella putting me to bed and undressing me, but I don’t remember anything after that, I swear.”

  I grip on to Michael’s arm willing him to keep me upright as my legs turn to jelly.

  “I think maybe you should leave, Jake. You’re upsetting her.”

  He glares at Michael, but he knows there is nothing more he could possibly dare say.

  “I will go; I just wanted you to know that I’m ordering a paternity test which will be done next week. Your mothers moved, did you know that?”

  I nod my head, “I know. I had the pleasure of her company earlier today thanks.”

  He reaches into his back jeans pocket and pulls out a wrapped gift. “I wanted to give you this and wish you a happy birthday. I’m so sorry about Friday. I was just so shocked and stunned, I felt so ashamed of what I had done to you. I know you’ll never forgive me for that, and I respect your wishes. I just want you to know how much I still love you, even though I know we can’t be together now.”

  I take the present and nod my head, as it is the only thing I can do to hold on to the tears I know will fall at any moment. I really don’t want him to see me cry.

  He turns back and heads for his car, all the while I’m trying to process everything he has just told me. Jake drives off and I let out a breath, the tears falling as he leaves. Michael pulls me in for a hug and holds me there for a while until I start shivering. He releases me grabbing my hand.

  “Come on, I’m going to take you back home and make sure you get in okay.”

  We get to the door where he hesitant to leave, but I assure him I’m alright. I say my goodbyes and thank him for a lovely evening before switching on the lights inside the apartment.

  It’s still dark so Jessie isn’t home as yet. I make my way into the living room and spy a bottle of rum in the bottom of her cabinet. I grab the bottle and pour myself two fingers full. I swig the glass down and accept the heat burning in my throat. It’s just what I needed after my encounter with Jake.

  Picking up the present he gave me, I make my way to my bedroom. I sit on the bed admiring the figurine again. She looks even more beautiful with just my bedside light filling the room. I can see her shadow on the wall and wish I could have that serenity she seems to possess in her elegant beauty.

  I reluctantly turn my head toward the present and open it. When I do, I’m startled. It’s the Bon Jovi album that Alan smashed to pieces when I was a child. My heart tightens with the pain at the memory of this, and the memory of what it represents from Jake, pours into me like the sick twisted little game that life like to play.

  A note slips from the wrappings. I pick it up from the floor to read it.

  ‘Track number four reminds me of you. Happy Birthday, Ana. All my love, Jake.’

  I turn the album over to see what track four is, and the tears are coming again in full force. It’s one of my favorites called, “In These Arms.”

  I somehow manage to get up and get ready for bed. I set my alarm and climb under the sheets welcoming sleep. I trail a finger on the album cover wishing that things could have been different. No matter how I feel, the betrayal, the hurt, the pain. I would do anything to feel Jake next to me and to comfort me. To be in his arms tonight.

  Chapter 8

  After a night of crying myself to sleep I wake up to the sound of my alarm echoing around the room. At first I don’t realize where I am, but then it hits me like a thunderbolt, and my stomach churns. Jessie knocks on the door and storms in opening my curtains.

  “Morning, sleepyhead, we have to get up now.”

  I groan and scowl at her. “How can you be so bloody damn cheerful in the mornings? I hate you.”

  She waves her finger at me.

  “Now, now grumpikins, don’t be like that... shit, where did you get that from?”

  I turn my head to what she’s looking at, and find her staring at the figurine.

  “She’s beautiful isn’t she? Michael bought it for my birthday.”

  She comes over to the bedside and picks it up to inspect her closely. “Sounds like Michael’s got it bad. Poor little shit.”

  She puts it back down and I shake my head. “Jessie, that’s cruel. We’re just friends, he knows that. Nothing more.”

  “Well, whatever. Breakfast is ready so get your ass up.”

  She walks out the door and I make my way to the kitchen. She has coffee ready and toast sitting cooling on a plate. I sit down taking a sip of coffee and bite into a dried piece of toast.

  “You’re not buttering that?”

  I shake my head, “Nah, not really that hungry. Anyway, what happened last night? Did you enjoy it with Jerry?” Her face becomes flushed. She’s obviously thinking about it.

  “We had a great meal and all, but I was really welcoming what happened after. It’s been a little while, but boy was it worth the wait. We must have had sex about three times before I told him to take me home. I think my period just makes me hornier than normal, if that’s possible. I dread to think what his water bill was after last night.”

  I put my toast down suddenly feeling even less hungry than before.

  “Okay, I really didn’t need to know that one, Jessie.” She eyes me and gives me a wicked smile.

  “So, tell me all about last night. Was Michael the perfect gentleman?”

  I told her everything including Jake turning up and what he said. She wasn’t amused at all.

  “Oh, before I forget, Michael mentioned a trip to the Bahamas in November. I’m thinking I may go, what about you?”

  “Yeah, I’m up for that. I know Jackie in Accounts mentioned something to me about it a couple of weeks ago. Sounds like fun. Before I forget, I spoke to Mandy about going out this weekend but she can’t make it, a lot of people can the following weekend though, if you’re up for that? Where do you want to go?”

  I sit and think about it for a while, and a sudden flash of thought has the words out before I even engage my brain.

  “I’d like to go to a strip club. I’ve never been and I’m curious.” She spies me peculiarly.

  “Ana, you’re not turning on me are you? I love you and all, but I don’t love you that much.”

  I shake my hands in front of her. “No, no, not like that. I just thought it sounded fun. Maybe some pole dancing. What do you think?”

  She starts laughing. “Ana, you’re a little daredevil. I think the boys will love you for it. Why not, let’s do it. I’ll have a look online later
, but maybe I should speak to Tom first. I should imagine he knows a few places.”

  I should imagine he does.

  After getting ready, Jessie and I make our way in our own cars. Jessie’s staying over with Jerry tonight, so she’ll want to head straight over there after work.

  I pull in the parking lot and take a few deep breaths. A knock on the window makes me jump out of my skin. I open the door.

  “Hey Mike, how are you?” He looks at me like he doesn’t know whether I’ll break or not, and helps me out of the car.

  “I’m fine, Ana. More importantly though, how are you? I’ve been thinking about you for a few days now. Terrible business all this, just terrible.”

  He shakes his head in dismay like he’s remembering the Jake he used to know when he was seventeen and still a rascal.

  “I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I’m okay, because I’m not, but I’m hanging in there. I have Jessie and she is being great with me through all of this. I can’t ask for a better friend.” He squeezes my hand and pulls me in for a hug.

  “I admire your strength and spirit, Ana, always have. I hope whatever happens in your life, it will bring you the happiness you deserve.”

  I pull away from him worried I will ruin his suit through my tears. “Mike, please. I’ve cried too much lately, I don’t want you to set me off, too.” He shows me his arm and leads me to the station.

  “Come on, Ana. You can do this. I’ll be here to hold your hand.”

  I put my arm through his, only too glad to let him lead the way in.

  “Got room for another there, Mike?”

  I turn and find Jessie following behind.

  “Of course, who wouldn’t want to have two beautiful young ladies on each arm? It would be my pleasure.”

  Jessie grabs his other arm and we all stroll in together. Tom spies us quickly and pats David on the shoulder.

  “Lookie here, if it isn’t Hugh Hefner in da house.”

  Jessie and I turn to Mike and we each give him a kiss on the cheek and giggle. Mike seems to be loving every minute of it, and he stares at Tom like he’s the cat that’s got the cream.