Take it Deep (Take 2)

by Jaimie Roberts

  I took a few deep breaths knowing that it was now or never and the latter would never do. I lock up the car behind me and take a walk to the clinic door. When I enter I see Ana with her head in her hands. The pain that ran through me was enormous. I never want her to ever feel alone like this. There were a couple of other parents-to-be in the room and they all looked happy. I wanted Ana to feel that way. Looking at her broke my heart.

  I thought I would have to go to her, but then she sighed and looked up. I thought my heart was going to stop when she looked at me with those beautiful sea-blue eyes of hers. She gasped and gripped at her chest, she looked so frightened. I needed to take that away from her, just like any living creature needed sustenance.

  “Jake, how did you—?” she asked, shocked.

  “I followed you. I knew something was going on. I had my suspicions, but I had to check them out for myself.”

  I was so happy to see that she didn’t look mad at me; in fact I thought I could see relief.

  “You knew?” she asked, looking shocked. God I loved this woman.

  “I guessed by the way you’ve been acting lately, and then there was the police function and you didn’t drink. I’ve noticed you seem to have an ice cream fetish lately, among other things, but it was the no drinking that kind of confirmed it for me. Why didn’t you tell me, Ana?”

  I placed my hands on her shoulder and she looked down. I could tell that the situation was upsetting her and quite frankly, having this conversation here was not the best place in the world.

  I asked Ana to hold on and went to speak to the Receptionist. “Excuse me, ma’am. Is there somewhere a little more private we could go to? I need to speak with my beautiful mom-to-be here.” And boy was she beautiful, radiant even.

  The lady smiled and replied, “Of course dear. Miss Sinclair’s OB/GYN should be here in about five minutes anyway. Why don’t you pop into Dr Foster’s room and you can wait in there? I apologize for the delay.”

  I thank her and she leads the way to Dr Foster’s room. I’m really hoping whoever this doctor is, isn’t going to be anything other than a female. I don’t think I could take another man touching her in places I’m only allowed to.

  I look over at Ana and she seemed so vulnerable sitting on the doctor's bed.

  “Are you angry with me?” she asked, timidly.

  How can I ever really and truly be angry with her? She’s beautiful, kind and she’s carrying my child.

  “Angry with you. Ana I’m so mad,” I reply. She sinks her head down to the floor and my heart breaks that little bit more.

  “Madly in love with you, Ana-Lucia Sinclair.”

  I couldn’t hold on to it any longer. I couldn’t play with her emotions like this, not when she is obviously so fragile. She looks up meeting my eyes; hers are full of hope, full of love. I didn’t care where we were, I had to feel her lips on mine—those divine, sweet, blissful lips. I had to have them on mine before I asked.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I was scared, Jake. More than scared, I was petrified. I thought, you know, with what happened to you with Matthew and then Stella trying the same thing on you. I was thinking you would assume I was trying to trap you. You put your faith in me that I was using contraception, and I felt that I had betrayed you. I was frightened that you were going to reject me.”

  I took her face in my hands. What she said made sense. I made such a big drama out of using contraception, it’s no wonder she had these doubts, but they were completely unfounded.

  “Ana, those other times were different. I was seventeen with Matthew, young and stupid. I wasn’t in love with her, or Stella. I was spending my whole life waiting for you. I knew that the very first day I laid eyes on you in La Bistro. You were and always will be my happily ever after.”

  “Oh, Jake,” she sobbed, placing her lips on mine again. She was crying and I wanted nothing more than to stop her tears for her. I’d walk on burning hot coals for this girl if she asked me to. I was so immersed in her that I didn’t even realize that the doctor was behind us until she cleared her throat.

  Thank God, it’s a woman.

  “Oops, sorry,” I say a little embarrassed.

  She looks toward Ana, a frown forming on her face as she spots the tears.

  “Hormones,” Ana said, saving the day.

  The doctor laughs and heads for her seat. “I totally understand, not to worry. It’s only natural that you will sometimes feel the way you are. Talking of which, how are you feeling? Have you gotten over the sickness yet? I know you were having a hard time with it.”

  My stomach about twisted hearing this. I can’t stand the thought that Ana had been suffering and I wasn’t there for her. I would have been there throughout all the good parts and the bad. I wanted to take care of her and the agony I felt was immense knowing I hadn’t been with her these last few weeks. I was too busy wallowing in self-pity to see what was happening in front of me.

  “I’m fine now. I think I’m more than fine. I feel sort of alive, if that makes sense. It’s strange; I don’t know how to explain it.”

  I wanted so much to take her right now. She was so goddamned sexy it was unreal. I’d have her knocked up 24/7 if that made her feel as alive as she said she did right now. I keep having to pinch myself that this is all so real.

  “Having children will do that to you, especially your first child,” the doctor said. “I’m sure you will be a fantastic mother.” She turned toward me, “I take it that you are—?”

  “The father,” I interrupted, feeling lighter than air. I hope the doc here doesn’t think I’ve been neglecting her all this time. It hurt like hell knowing she had been alone in all this.

  Ana laid down as the doctor pulled her top up, exposing that beautiful silky stomach of hers. Boy, I couldn’t wait to get her home and lick every pore of her skin—and I will be taking her home this time. I don’t want to take no for an answer.

  “This is going to be a little cold, so I apologize in advance,” Dr Foster said.

  She placed the jelly on Ana’s belly and moved the scanner across. The image that came up made both of us gasp. I couldn’t believe I was actually seeing my baby on the screen.

  I haven’t met you yet, but I promise you that you are going to have the best mom and dad anyone could ever hope for.

  I couldn’t help the tears that formed in my eyes. He or she looked perfect in every way and I was over-flowing with pride for my beautiful English girl.

  Ana looked at me, her face a picture of adoration and shock. I mouthed the words, ‘Our baby,’ and I could tell she was close to tears.

  We stared for ages at the screen while the doctor took some measurements and printed off some pictures for us. One of the first things I was going to do was get a frame for these babies.

  “It seems we are all set for the 2nd July. Congratulations to you both.”

  I smiled at the doctor as she placed tissues on Ana’s stomach. She sits up and we both stare at the images of our baby. I was in complete shock from it all.

  “I think we’re about done here, but I want you to know that I am here if you need anything, okay? If there is anything you’re unsure of, or you’re worried about anything in any way, please call me.”

  I nod my head along with Ana, but can’t quite get over the fact I’m going to be a father again. It’s almost like my birthday, Christmas and the lottery numbers have all come up in one day. It is only when we were outside in the car park that my thinking became clear. I had to ask her the important question, and it had to be now. I couldn’t possibly wait any longer. I’ve waited too damn long with this ring burning a hole in my pocket for months. I kneel in front of her with my mind made up.

  “Jake, what are you doing? People are watching.”

  “I don’t care,” I said, as I squeezed her gently. I had my head on her stomach wanting to feel close to her—close to our baby. The tears were welling again and I hated crying in front of her, but I was just so d
amned happy, so completely consumed with joy. I looked up at her placing a hand on her stomach. “Our baby,” I said trying to stop the tears from falling.

  I could hear people around us, but I didn’t care. It was just me and Ana as far as I was concerned.

  She places her hand over her mouth sobbing into it. I knew she was happy and I was glad that I could give that to her. It was then I knew I had to act. I placed a hand in my pocket to reach for that all-important velvet box.

  Please work your miracle for me now.

  “I’ve been carrying this around with me every single day for the last four months, waiting and hoping for the right moment to ask you,” I say nervously.

  I’m silently praying now that she won’t turn me down. I see her reaction though and it is what spurs me on even further.

  “Ana ‘insubordinate’ Sinclair, the love of my life, my reason to be. You are my swan—”

  “Barn owl,” she interrupted.

  I thought it was kind of a strange thing to say, but didn’t ask her why she particularly picked an owl. She was always different in that respect and it was one of the many things I loved about her.

  “Whatever,” I said, wanting so much to get to the point. “Will you make me the happiest man in the world and agree to be my wife, to have and to hold forever and ever? I’ll promise to never let you go again, Ana and I mean it. I want to give you the stars.”

  I knew it from the moment I asked her what her answer would be. Thank goodness at times she is so easy to read. I loved this girl.

  The crowd was shouting for Ana to say yes, but I wanted her to have the time she needed to answer without the pressure of anyone else around her.

  I didn’t have to wait too long though. The answer was out before I could even process it. I took no time at all placing that ring on her finger. She said yes and it made me the happiest man alive.

  I rise from my stance and Ana jumps into my arms. I try to be as careful as possible, as she is carrying our little miracle inside her now. I hold her for a while just taking in the last hour. How much a situation can change in such a short space of time.

  I reluctantly pull away, but I am so desperate to get her home.

  “So what do you say, soon to be wife of mine, don’t you think it’s finally time I took you home now?”

  She laughed replying, “Yes please, soon to be husband of mine. I can’t think of anything else I would want more right now.”

  It made me wonder if that was really all she wanted, so I had to ask. “Are you sure about that?”

  “Well, I’m sure there are some other things you could help me with, but we’ll need to pick some ice cream up first,” she said, with a cheeky grin.

  I couldn’t wait to be inside her. I wanted and needed it more than anything else right now. “Oh baby, whatever you want. It would be my pleasure.”

  I carefully wrap my arms around her so I could cradle her to my chest. I love carrying her so close to me; it makes me feel safe and secure. She was and still is the reason for my existence. Now that I have her in my arms, I ain’t ever letting her go.

  Epilogue

  Wow, what a mind-blowing few months it’s been. So much has happened, it makes my head spin. I’ve been in a lot of pain emotionally and physically, but I’m healing bit by bit, every day. The situation has certainly improved tenfold in the last couple of months. I think about the issues we had with Stella and how much of a messed up situation that had been. She certainly pulled a number on us. I never really liked her, even from the beginning I knew there was something about her I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I love Ana though; I always have since the first day we met. I’m so glad she’s back now. We finally feel like a family again and I love it. She means the world to me, and is one out of the two most special women in my life. The other one of course is Cindy. I know I’m going to marry that girl one day. She’s beautiful, intelligent, caring and has the body to die for. I would do just about anything for her.

  The hardest part for us so far is the loss of our baby. I knew having one so soon was not the best idea. I was aware we were being silly to think that one burst condom wouldn’t mean much, but I grew to love the idea she was having my child. Finding out that Ana was pregnant was a welcome distraction. She didn’t want to tell me at first when she moved in. She was frightened that it would upset me too much. That’s one of the many things I love about Ana. She always puts other people’s feelings before her own, but this was totally unfounded. I was really happy to hear that she was having a baby. It meant I finally had my little brother or sister to care about. I do admit, I would prefer a little sister, but any one of them will do, as long as the baby is healthy.

  I was shocked once I came back from the hospital to find the freezer filled with tubs of ice cream. That was a definite clue that something was out of the ordinary. In the end I got so suspicious that I had to ask. The look on Ana’s face when I did was a picture of concern. I told her I thought it was great and the relief she felt was obvious to see.

  What’s not been so cool is watching her eat the stuff. She mixes so many different flavors, it’s enough to make you hurl, it’s so gross. My dad thinks it’s cute, but I just want to get the hell out of there the minute she gets her spoon out. What makes it worse is she keeps on disappearing into the bedroom with it. She doesn’t realize I know this, but I have seen her. I really don’t want to know what’s going on once she closes that door. When I came home from a night out with Cindy once, I spotted Ana in the kitchen with her head buried in the freezer. It was dark, so I switched the light on. It made her jump, but I nearly did when I saw the sight of her. She had ice cream all over her face and even some in her hair. I told her that she had a spot of it on her cheeks and she just rubbed off a small portion, asking me if she’d got it. She hadn’t of course. It was still all over her nose and other cheek, but I smiled politely telling her she’d got it okay. It was kind of obvious what she had been doing with my dad, and even though I couldn’t be happier that she was with us again, I really don’t want to know what they were doing in bed together. No son or daughter wants to know that kind of thing.

  Apart from the gross ice cream, it’s been great having Ana back at last. It took Dad long enough to make it happen. I was nasty to him at first when he drove her away. I thought I would never be able to forgive him for that. When Ana told me that he had been fighting for her, I kind of felt guilty. I told him that much the very same night. I also told him not to give up, but I obviously didn’t need to. The look on his face said it all. He wasn’t going down without a good fight and I’m glad to say now that he has won her back. I couldn’t be happier for them both.

  Everything has happened so quickly. Ana is having a baby and I was Best Man at my father’s wedding. My dad wanted to marry her as quickly as possible. Ana said that if they did, it would have to be before she got too big. She didn’t want to be getting married with a big belly and I couldn’t blame her. She’s a little over four months pregnant now so there is a sign of a little bump, but she’s still quite small. Lately her skin has a certain glow about it. She looks healthy, happy and it’s great to see. Dad still looks at her like he’s seeing her for the very first time. He’s completely whipped, but I’m happy for him. I’ve never seen him like that with anyone else before. I’m just so glad he loves someone that I love, too—in a completely different way of course.

  I feel very protective of Ana. She always looks so vulnerable, but I know she can more than handle herself. My dad has always been controlling, so it’s good he has someone like Ana to calm him down a bit. Having said that, I’m finding I get the same with Cindy at times. I don’t like it when other men look at her. I sometimes wish I could lock her up and never let her go. That thought always brings a smile to my face. Sometimes my imagination goes crazy with it all.

  Dad was getting himself in a mess before the wedding. He wanted to make sure everything was perfect for Ana. For the honeymoon they’re going to use some cruise ship ticket
s that Ana won at an auction. What she doesn’t know quite yet, is that my dad is also taking her to Italy after. They’re going to stay in Rome, Florence, Venice and Positano. He’s going all out for her, but she more than deserves it after all that’s she has been through. Dad better not fuck this up again or I’ll personally see to it that he never gets to have any more children again. I’ve told him that much. He just laughed at me and said that if he ever did—which he won’t—he will give me the permission to go ahead.

  Ana wanted her wedding at home, as she said that this is where it all started. Dad was more than happy to give that to her. It’s been hard trying to get everything ready in time. We also had to hire a huge gazebo just in case the weather was really bad. Luckily for Ana it was a beautiful day. She was glad about that when I saw her first thing this morning. She said, “Happy is the bride that the sun shines on,” and walked away whistling. I had to chuckle at her. She always was silly in a cute way like that.

  Ana was very adamant that my dad couldn’t see her, so she sent him away to stay with Mike. He wasn’t happy about that, but she insisted. She said she wouldn’t marry him if he was going to go all caveman on her about it. That had me laughing so hard hearing that. I think caveman is a very good word to describe my father.

  I had to join him at Mike’s this morning so we could get ready together. He was as nervous as hell and being a complete jackass about it to be honest. He doesn’t like being away from Ana too long. I think he thinks some other man is going to come along, snatch her up, and take her away from him. I told him that Ana was right when she called him ridiculous. That’s another good word to describe him at times.

  Before the wedding, Cindy was with Ana, along with Jessie and Mandy. I must admit, I couldn’t wait to see her. I knew she would look beautiful, she always does. She could wear a trash bag and she’d still look sexy. Her parents were there, too. I always felt a bit nervous about having her dad around. It’s been difficult with him ever since he found out about the baby, but he’s coming round a bit now. Ana keeps telling them how great I am. I think that’s been helping. She seems determined to see everyone happy, not only in themselves, but with each other. I think Cindy’s mom and dad realize now that I’m not going anywhere, so they have to put up with me whether they like it or not. It’s always better that they like it of course, but I’m not letting anyone stand in our way. Cindy means everything to me. She always has.