The Life of Lol

by Andrew Birch

  The guards all talked about Marybeth, how she’d been downgraded from high security, how she’d killed a guard by biting into his neck. She was a former athlete, so I heard. Had a mean streak the size of Texas, apparently. Been top dog in every jail she’d been in. And suddenly there was trouble. People were looking at me differently again, like they had when I first arrived here nearly three years ago now. This must’ve been how Diane felt when I’d first arrived. I played with my grown out sexy bobbed hair idly and wondered what to do about the problem.

  ***

  Chapter 6. Groucho and Dreamer

  That had been something that had pissed Groucho off. Me playing with my hair. I was twelve at the time, and had given up with school. At first I’d tried a couple of days bunking off, to see if I could get away with it, then like any other kid, give them an inch and they’ll take a mile, and I decided to give up on school altogether. I was basically the same kid I had been when I was six, tall, thin, surly and quiet, my blonde hair was messy and in the same bob I’d had when I was a kid. Only now people seemed to notice me eyes more. Bright green they were. They called me the little cat. I suddenly began thinking of Groucho and Dreamer

  ***

  “Get me some cigarettes, will you?”, asked Bernice.

  “Child slavery” the 12 year old shouted back.

  “Maybe I better take you to school in the car then, if you don’t want to do errands huh?” retored Bernice

  “Fine” give me the money then” shouted back Lol from the hallway

  “Here”, said the black woman, waddling in from the kitchen, “five dollars. Bring me change”

  “Fine”, said the little blonde haired girl, stood waiting.

  “Well get on then, get out of here, go comb the street like you always do.”

  “Well open the cupboard then”, said the girl, exasperated.

  The kids had to take their shoes off in the hallway, where they were locked in the cupboard. This prevented them wandering about when they weren’t allowed to be.

  “Sorry honey”, said Bernice, “I thought it was unlocked, “I wondered why you were just standing there in your little socks”

  “Don’t have a choice”, muttered the girl.

  “Ah”, laughed Bernice, ~”just wait till you’re eighteen, then you won’t need to lock your shoes in the cupboard.”

  “Yeah”, replied Lol, “cos I’ll be kicked out and have to live on the street”

  “Well”, answered Bernice, “You know the answer then. Go get an education, then you can get a good job.”

  “School’s bullshit”, said the girl, sticking out her chin, “who cares what a bunch of dead guys did anyway.”

  “A bunch of dead white guys”, agreed Bernice, “I got you there, honey. Never cared for it myself. And I turned out ok”

  Lol smiled, put on her worn sneakers and left the home. Now she was older, she wandered the streets as pretty much as she wanted. She had people that she liked to do jobs for occasionally, some people that she would do jobs for in the old quarter, but mostly, the city was changing, and the new commuters and citizens had little time for a girl on her own wandering the streets. Most of the city was being rebuilt, with vast amounts of old buildings being torn down around her, to make way for new skyscrapers and grey monoliths. Lol had spent the ages of ten and eleven playing around in the old derelict office spaces on 13th avenue until they were torn down, an entire office block all to her little self. How important she had felt. Now it was gone, and was just a whole mess of girders and workmen telling her to clear off to school. Lol fingered the five bucks in her pocket. Bernice knew Lol would get the cigarettes. Lol had too much to lose. For a start, Bernice was no soft touch. First she would whip Lol’s ass hard if she failed to come back with the cigarettes. And without cigarettes, Bernice would be quite ornery. And third, she would no doubt be dragged back to school. Even so, it was a nice feeling to have five bucks in your pocket. Lol never went back straight away. If you gave her a list of shopping to do, you better not be in a rush for any of it, because it would be early evening before she returned with any of it. But when she did, it would all be correct and present.

  Lol decided to try a different alleyway, the one on Halligan Street. The offices there were derelict, but still standing. The doors on the front were all firmly locked and bolted, with riveted panels over some of the entrances to keep kids and homeless out. An enterprising kid like Lol knew that the back doors could usually be persuaded to open though, to reveal the rabbit warrens of dusty abandoned corridors and rooms within, all empty and forgotten. The alley behind Halligan Street was filled with rubbish, dumpsters, booze bottles and old hypodermics. As Lol walked down its length trying to find a door that hadn’t had a metal; shutter bolted over it, a voice came,

  “Clear out, you. G’wan, git outta here!”

  Lol stopped with fright, then looked around to see where the voice came from,

  “Bad things’ll happen if you stay around here. Grrrr”

  There it was again. This time Lol answered it.

  “Bad things have already happened”, she shouted back, “Got the shit kicked out of me down here last week and the five bucks I had in my pocket got stolen”

  A body moved among the dumpster to see the little girl that had answered him back. That was his most scary voice. Jesus, he couldn’t even scare dumb kids any more. This one looked smart. Too sassy for her own good. Blonde hair. Pretty, he thought. Be breaking some guy’s heart someday.

  “Why aren’t you in school?” he shouted, “you a dumbass?”

  “Yeah”, she said, “so I come to find out where all the rest of you dumbasses hang out. Guess I found the place.”

  He snorted a laugh at that. Christ, he liked this little squirt. He came out of the rubbish, making sure his precious pack was safely hidden.

  She recognised him as Tinhat. They knew him around the neighbourhood, he’d always hung around, and occasionally she’d seen him about. He was about fifty or sixty, grizzled, with long lank hair and a long dirty beard. His clothes, or rags, were ancient, and his trousers half-mast and short. He wore sneakers, old battered ones without socks and his pale dirty ankles were thin and old looking.

  “You tinhat?” she asked.

  “I’ll give you tinhat!” he shouted, “cheeky little bitch! You got anything to eat?”

  “nah”, she said, had my breakfast a while ago.”

  “What d’you have”, he asked, licking his lips.”

  “Dunno”, she replied shrugging, “just some brown slop. Didn’t like it.”

  “Hmm”, I’ll have it if you got it with you.”

  “I don’t”, she replied, “Chucked it in the bin.”

  “Wasteful little brat”, he shouted, looking her up and down, “looks like you could use a dinner.”

  “Yeah”, she said

  “Got any money?” he asked.

  “Yeah”, she answered, “five bucks for cigarettes”

  He blinked in amazement,

  “You’re spending five bucks on cigarettes”, he said , where’d you get money like that.

  “From Bernice”, she replied, “The cigarettes are for her. Not for me. I gotta bring the change back cos she’ll check.”

  “Then you are a dumbass”, he said, “A real wise little bitch would be going home with the cigarettes and twenty bucks in her pocket. Unless she wanted to give ten of it to her new friend.”

  He pointed at himself.

  “How’d I do that” she asked?

  “God they don’t make kids like they used to”, he tutted, beckoning her down the alley, you sure are a little dumbass”

  Lol didn’t move.

  “Well”, he shouted, exasperated with her now, “you comin or aintcha?”

  “You gonna have sex with me”? she shouted back, “I know what goes on in alleys, and I ain’t doin that. Bernice told me that.”

  His face was full of shock at what she’d said. Such a lack of innocence.

 
“No”, he said softly, “with me, you’re safe. Course, if you give cheek and keep acting like a dumbass I’ll belt you back of the head.”

  Lol smiling, followed him down the alley now.

  “Guy who runs the home says that’s what I need”, she said, “a good belt back of the head.”

  He whacked her hard then on the back of her blonde head with his calloused hand.

  “Hey!” she shouted.

  “That’s for not listening to your betters and following some old guy down an alley” he grumbled, “honestly, this isn’t worth the ten bucks I’m getting for the trouble.”.

  They walked along till they came to a small elementary school at the end of the warehouse district. One of the lots had been cleared and a makeshift car park was built on the remains. The little kinds were all in class. Tinhat turned to Lol,

  “What d’you get in school, dumbass” he said.

  Lol thought,

  “Teachers and kids”, she replied curtly.

  “And what do kids have in their pockets?” he continued.

  “I dunno”, she replied, how the hell would I know?”

  “Dumbass”, he shook his head with disgust.

  “Stop callin me that”, she said crossly, “If I’m that dumb, how come I’m the one with the five dollars in my pocket?”

  “I’m a victim of circumstance”, he harrumphed, “cruel vindictive circumstance inflicted upon me by an uncaring and corrupt government.”

  Lol didn’t know what those words meant.

  “I’m gonna call you Groucho”, she said with a smile.

  “Yeah” he said, “you do and I’ll push you in front of a truck”

  He smiled as he said this. The word Groucho had made her smile. He hadn’t seen the kid smile so far. Not his job to nursemaid a kid, ain’t his problem, but there were enough miserable people in this world without the kids being that way too. Besides, she reminded him of his little lost tinkerbell. And Groucho was no worse than Tinhat.

  “Let’s get to business”, he said, “What those little kids have got in their pockets in money. A dollar, two if we’re lucky. Pocket money.”

  “So what”, Lol nodded, “We gonna beat up little kids for their money?”

  “I swear”, Groucho shook his head in disbelief, “you are the dumbest kid I ever met. No. Go get the cigarettes for your Bernard or whatever the hell the name was.”

  “Bernice”, Lol corrected.

  “Yeah, whatever, go get them. There’s a kiosk across the way”

  Lol ran off. The seller didn’t know Lol as well as her normal guy did, who knew they were for Bernice. At first, this guy didn’t want to sell a kid cigarettes, but she said they were for Groucho, and seeing as she had the five dollars, he relented, and sold her a pack of Marlboros, Bernice’s brand. She ran back to where Groucho was waiting, and putting trust in him that she didn’t feel, handed the pack over. She watched with dismay as he opened it, took out a cigarette and lit it.

  “Man, that tastes good”, he said closing his eyes, “first proper smoke in years.”

  “Hey”, she shouted, reaching to grab the pack, “they were for Bernice. Now I’ll get my ass whipped.”

  “You probably deserve it for trusting old coots like me”, he smiled, winking at her, “but anyway, steady on, I promised you ten dollars and, no matter what they say about old Harlan, he always delivers on his word. Here, take the pack. Go into the schoolyard and sell the rest of them. Try the bad kids near the bike racks. Sell them a dollar apiece”.

  Lol ran through the gate, careful not to catch the teacher’s eye. The kids were on recess, and were playing. Lol couldn’t believe it. They couldn’t wait to give her their money. IN under a minute she had eighteen dollars. She saved the last cigarette for Groucho. Lol had never seen so much money in all her life. She ran back to where Groucho sat at the edge of the kerb, reading a newspaper that he’d found in the gutter.

  “Damn government”, he said pointing to the paper, “Governor needs a firecracker up his ass if you ask me. You know about politics, kid?” he asked.

  Lol shook her head. She handed over the ten dollars and the saved cigarette. He blinked in surprise.

  “Naw”, he said, save the ten, cos you’ll have to replace the ones you bought. Give me the eight and the smoke and we’ll call it quits.

  After Lol and Groucho had found another cigarette kiosk to replace the pack with, they walked to the end of the old quarter, round the back of benny’s night club. Occasionally, Lol had thought she was rich when she’d found a quarter down there. Now with five dollars and a full pack of cigarettes in her pocket, she felt beyond wealthy. The possibilities were endless. She counted up the possibilities. Two elementary schools close by, pack of cigarettes each, she could clear ten dollars a day, fifty a week. Fifty bucks a week, that was probably as much as Bernice was on! Lol decided to stick with Groucho. He didn’t seem to mind, though he rambled on about things she didn’t understand,

  “Treason!”, he shouted, “Reagan should've have gone to jail for that. North too. Corrupt. That’s why they sent the spy planes to watch me, they knew what I was saying”

  Lol just nodded at various intervals. They spent some of their money on a hot dog which they shared. When they reached the back of benny’s, a group of homeless were standing around listening to a Black guy saying something. Lol shrank back a little. This wasn’t her scene, she didn’t know any of these people. Groucho saw her fear and suddenly grabbed the girl’s hand,

  “C’mon, numbnuts”, he said, “come meet the rest of the afflicted, watch out for the feds though.”

  Lol didn’t know what ‘Fed’ meant, but she followed him into the alley. The woman was known as Dreary, she was just old and miserable. She hated kids, but all the same she produced a furry old hard boiled sweet which she pressed into Lol’s hand. Not being afraid of such things, Lol popped it into her mouth and sucked on it till the fur came off and her tongue found the sweet underneath. Then there was Horace. Horace was bald, and had glasses that didn’t fit. And fat. Lots of fat, hidden under a filthy old brown Macintosh. He just talked crap, about cheese, and peas, and ostriches. Horace horseshit, they called him. And then there was Dreamer. Dreamer entranced Lol straight away. He was a huge black man, in his fifties, and dressed in shabby old clothes, apart from his scarf, which although faded, was all the colours of the rainbow. Although a huge bull of a man, he seemed ‘faded’ somehow to Lol in ways she couldn’t explain. Groucho told her that Dreamer was a poet. As he said this, Dreamer came up to her,

  “You wanna hear a poem”, he said in an amazingly soft voice that didn’t suit him.

  Lol didn’t care for poems, and so she just shrugged. Didn’t matter to him, he recited her a poem anyway,

  Her lungs grow full of earth

  As in the grave she lies

  And as the earth is heaped on top

  With a mighty sigh she dies.

  They will never know her gravesite

  Lost on the mossy heath

  As the black clouds gather all around

  The worms eat underneath

  She was silent for a while. Didn’t know what to make of that at all.

  “Don’t mind him”, said Groucho “does a heck of a lot of PCP, changes his mind.”

  “I like cheese with peas”, interjected Horace, “you ever see Pease, kid?”

  Lol nodded,

  “I think they’re the best thing ever”, he replied.

  Groucho sat down, and motioned Lol to come join them. Dreary passed round a bottle of some foul tasting stuff, and they all had a drink. Lol felt happy. First Money, now friends. Things were looking up.

  Lol spent a lot of time with the homeless guys round the back of Benny’s after that. Most of the time, it was just her, Groucho and Dreamer. Dreary couldn’t go anywhere without booze, and Horace was just a pain in the ass with his shouting all the time. One day Horace had been eating a moldy old sandwich, and he’d suddenly got up, run down the alley and prope
lled the sandwich into the air, shouting

  “Fly sammich, fly”

  Before returning in all seriousness to his seat. Lol had never laughed before. Not so she could remember. But this time she laughed till tears came in her eyes. She thought he’d done it to make her laugh. But apparently it was some brain illness he had. Groucho thought it was the government putting something in his booze. Either way, he could be a pain in the ass. They would be hanging round the alley, when he would run off to some passerby and shout,

  “See my penis”, he would gesticulate, “its growing. It’s all the cheese I eat”

  Then the cops would come. So they usually just left him with Dreary and wandered about the old town together. One afternoon the three were suddenly hungry. Subsisting on mainly a diet they found in the trash cans, life had been bettered with Lol’s arrival. Lol brought them things, she packed up her breakfasts, at first, not knowing any better, she brought her hot bran in a paper bag which ended up in a soggy mess. Still, Groucho and Dreamer ate it hungrily. Then they had found her a plastic box with a little lid, and a spaceman printed on the sides. She filled it with the food that she didn’t eat, including peas, Horace’s favourite one day just to make him happy. But today Groucho wanted something better.

  “The trick is”, he said to her as Dreamer hummed a beat to himself, “to give them no choice in the matter. The mark thinks that he’s acting of his own free will, and he feels good. But you’re the one controlling him, as soon as you meet him, you’re the one in control. Remember that.”

  Lol put the thought in her mind and tried to keep it there. They came to a fancy restaurant,