The Intern

by Gabrielle Tozer

  I took a shaky step toward the group.

  ‘Josie, Josie, Josie,’ a slick voice drawled behind me.

  I turned to see Billy, arms folded across his chest and smirking (of course). He wore a tight black T-shirt and dark denim jeans, and his usually floppy hair was slicked into a sharp twenties style.

  ‘Billy,’ I muttered, lowering my eyes. ‘I should leave … I thought you’d be gone.’

  ‘It’s cool. Stay and chat. Did you see the puppies?’

  ‘Puppies? What’s the matter with you? Stop pretending that everything’s cool,’ I whispered, narrowing my eyes. ‘I thought you were better than this. The lies you’ve been spreading about me —’

  ‘Calm down. It’s not like we spent the night together.’

  ‘No, but you wanted to.’

  ‘It was a kiss.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘One kiss. And stop acting like you didn’t enjoy it.’

  ‘What gave it away? The slap or the fact I vomited afterwards?’ I snapped.

  ‘It’s you,’ I heard a soft, feminine voice say. I turned to see a girl with jet-black hair, green eyes and tanned skin (not pale, as I’d thought) staring at me, her lip trembling. Her right hand cupped her swollen belly. ‘You’re the girl from the club who kissed Billy — I recognise you from the photos.’

  ‘I … I …’ My hand raced to my hair. Why did I choose today of all days to repeat Steph’s style?

  ‘You threw yourself at my boyfriend,’ Kara said, her face hardening to reveal strong cheekbones and a prominent jaw.

  ‘No, no, I promise,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘It’s complicated. He was the one who —’

  ‘Save it. I don’t know what Billy was thinking when he let you kiss him,’ Kara said, rolling each word off her tongue for added effect.

  Anger bubbled inside me, winding its way from my toes, around my ankles, jetting up my thighs toward my mouth. ‘Let me kiss him? I don’t know what lies he’s fed you, but you’ve got it all wrong. Billy asked me to go back to his hotel room.’

  ‘How dare you!’ Kara snapped, stepping forward, her left palm raised.

  Suddenly, a hand grabbed hold of my arm and yanked me away, sending a painful jolt through my upper body.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Rae hissed, towering over me. Her hand gripped my arm like a vice. Nearby, Billy was trying to console Kara, who was pushing him away. ‘Josie, I told you to stay in the office. Now look what you’ve done.’

  ‘I know, but then Ava told me to come and —’

  ‘What on earth were you thinking?’

  ‘It’s just that it wasn’t my —’

  ‘Oh, it’s never you, is it?’ Rae snapped. ‘It’s never your fault. Never your problem.’

  ‘There’s been a misunderstanding —’

  ‘No. You’re the one misunderstanding. I’ve got more important things to deal with than this. I’m trying to run a goddamn magazine. I’ve had it, Josie. Your internship is over.’

  ‘What? No, Rae. Please.’ This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening.

  ‘Check the guidelines — you’re dismissed. Now get the hell out of here.’

  Lips trembling, I glanced around. Billy and Kara now stood next to each other, holding hands in silence. The busty red-haired woman was picking at her fingernails, bored. I didn’t dare look at Liani or Esmeralda; the shame was too much.

  ‘I really am sorry,’ I spluttered. I spun on my heel and raced out of the studio.

  20.

  I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. Maybe kicked too. I sat crying on the grass in the park near Sash, ignoring the strangers staring as they walked by. I realised this was one screw-up I couldn’t bounce back from.

  As much as I tried, I couldn’t stop replaying everything in my mind: the blatant set-up from Ava, the heated argument with Kara, the public firing. It seemed so surreal, so shocking: me, fired? The same girl who geeked her way through high school? Who received nothing but praise, gold stars and straight As from teachers? Who wore her goodie-two-shoes badge with pride? I wiped my tears away with my hand; it came away smudged with mascara.

  ‘Josie, here you are!’ Steph cried out, appearing by my side in the park. ‘The girls told me you ran out. I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Here’s your handbag.’ She plonked it down next to me.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, rearranging my position beneath a grand old tree with thick leafy branches that blocked out the sun and cast a huge shadow across the grass. ‘I’m sorry, I had to get out of there. It was too much. Rae fired me.’

  ‘I know.’ Steph sighed, sat down and put her arm around me. ‘But you’re stronger than this. Do you really want Rae to know you had a breakdown?’

  I shrugged. ‘It’s not really a breakdown.’

  ‘I’m just worried you’re seconds away from going nuts and shaving your head.’

  Only Steph could’ve got away with being cheeky at that moment.

  ‘Everything’s a mess,’ I said, eyes welling up again. ‘The internship’s over and I really needed that money. And everyone at Sash knows about me and Billy. Ava framed me for no reason. Mum’s all over the place, plus I’m meant to be writing an article for the Weekly Mail and I haven’t even started thinking about it … And man, some of those comments about me on the websites. Wow. They were —’

  ‘Awful. I know.’

  ‘One person told me to throw myself off a building because I looked fat in that dress.’

  ‘That anonymous coward is probably forty years old with raging BO and still living in his mum’s granny flat.’ Steph squeezed me tighter. ‘Don’t worry about those comments. They’re lies, okay? As for the internship? This will work out, I promise. You’re too talented and lovely and positive for it to go any other way.’

  I smiled through my tears, touched by Steph’s kindness.

  ‘Plus,’ she continued, ‘you wanna talk about crazy parents? Did I tell you Mum’s taken a second lover? Some guy she met at an organic farmers’ market. Isn’t that the lamest thing you’ve ever heard?’

  ‘A second one? Yikes.’ I couldn’t even hang onto one, let alone two.

  Steph shrugged. ‘My family are skilled at making weird seem perfectly normal. I don’t think Tim would be too keen if I tried to do the same, though!’

  ‘I told James I liked him,’ I confessed.

  The words had been brewing all morning, but I’d been too embarrassed to tell her. Now, wiping away my tears in the park, I figured I’d already hit a low, so I might as well share the shameful secret.

  ‘And?’

  ‘He took a phone call.’

  ‘Okay, but what did he say to you before that?’

  ‘I said it, then he took a phone call. From her. I think they’re back together.’

  ‘Him and Summer?’ Steph groaned.

  ‘I want to go to sleep now,’ I said, lying back on the grass and looking up into the leafy branches of the tree. They blocked out the sky; blocked out everything. ‘Thanks for trying, Steph. You’d better head back before you get in trouble, too.’

  ‘I was thinking we could have pizza at Tim’s later on.’

  ‘I don’t know. James might be there.’

  ‘With extra cheese?’

  ‘Maybe.’ I pushed myself up to my feet and pulled Steph into a hug. ‘Thanks for the pep talk. And as for your mum: two lovers and a husband? She must be busy! Does she have a timetable to fit them all in or something?’

  And then I had a horrible thought. ‘Damn! I have to return my security pass to the front desk. I really don’t want to go back …’

  Steph squeezed my hand. ‘It’s fine, Jose. I’ll go with you.’

  ‘You will? Thanks,’ I sighed.

  We walked back to the office together, weaving our way through the park, passing lazy suits sipping coffee in the sunshine, a group of schoolkids tucking into fish and chips, and a lone old woman huddled on a bench using a newspaper as a blanket.

  We arrived at the Sash building and, trying
not to cry again, I hugged Steph, who said goodbye then disappeared into the lifts. That was it. Our internship together was over.

  I was waiting in line at the front desk when I saw Ava in the foyer, struggling to push a large metal rack holding an assortment of colourful outfits. She hummed and batted her eyelids as she passed me, acting as though she hadn’t just lied to my face and got me kicked out of the internship program.

  Ignore her, just ignore her, I told myself. Rise above it; accept that maybe you’re just an ordinary girl with dreams that were too big to come true. Rae had made it clear my plans of becoming a successful writer were trashed and I had no one to blame but myself. It was my fault. Except, deep down, I knew it wasn’t entirely my fault.

  Sure, I’d let Billy mouth-maul me in the club, but I’d copped the flack and moved on. It was Ava who’d manipulated me into going to the photo shoot — she’d set a trap and I’d taken the bait.

  As I stood there, her gaunt figure mere metres away, all I could think about was ripping her annoyingly pretty face off.

  But there was a problem and a big one at that: I’d never been in a fight. Not a real fight anyway, where everyone crowded onto the school oval and screamed ‘Fight, fight, fight!’ The closest I’d come was slapping Billy at the club, or yelling ‘No, you suck!’ to the neighbours’ kids a few years back.

  And so, like everything else I’d been doing lately, I winged it. Fists clenched, lips pursed and hair flying out behind me like a psychotic witch, I charged toward Ava, who’d stopped to rehang a dress that had slipped off the rack.

  ‘Ava, I need to talk to you,’ I said.

  I wondered when it would be appropriate for me to throw my first punch. Or jab. Or hook. Or was that fishing lingo? I had no idea. I just wanted Ava to hurt as much as I did.

  Ava turned to face me, eyelashes fluttering, feigning innocence. ‘Something the matter, Josie?’

  ‘You set me up.’

  ‘Excuse me?’ she said, eyes widening.

  ‘You heard me,’ I continued, my heartbeat quickening. ‘You lied to me and then, to top it off, you got me kicked out of Sash.’

  ‘You give me too much credit,’ she said, raising an eyebrow. ‘I’m sure you stuffed it up in there all on your own.’

  That was it. I couldn’t stand another nanosecond of her cruel taunts.

  ‘What have I ever done to you, Ava?’ I snapped. ‘I’ve complimented you, I’ve offered my help, I worried about you when you were sick, and you know what? You’ve been nothing but horrible.’

  Ava glared at me. Her perfect nostrils flared but she said nothing.

  ‘Well?’ I pushed, searching her face for answers. ‘Tell me. What’s your problem?’

  ‘You really want to know?’ she said, lowering her voice so the people in the foyer wouldn’t hear. ‘You went to Liani about me.’

  ‘I … I … Okay, you’re right,’ I stammered. ‘But I was worried and —’

  ‘You told her I had bulimia.’

  ‘What? No, I didn’t!’

  ‘Don’t lie to my face. The least you can do is tell the truth.’

  ‘I swear I only told her about the bad pork and how I heard you getting sick and —’

  ‘Keep your voice down,’ she hissed, fake-smiling at a group of magazine glamours as they strutted past us. ‘And that’s rubbish. Josie, I have good genes, that’s why I’m slim. Besides, you don’t see me eat breakfast and dinner at home. And you were right — I ate some dodgy pork that made me sick. That’s it. But thanks to you, I’ve got Rae and Liani breathing down my back, ‘keeping an eye’ on me. Do you know what that’s like? Do you know how it makes me feel? Well, do you?’

  Despite everything, I felt the anger fizzle out of me, leaving me tongue-tied. But Ava’s rant wasn’t over.

  ‘You think you’re so perfect! Better than everyone, and smarter and …’ Her voice trailed off and her long, slim hand went to her head. ‘Oh …’

  ‘Ava? What’s wrong?’

  ‘I don’t feel well,’ she murmured, her skin drained of colour. ‘Everything’s gone all … blurry.’

  ‘Here, hold onto my arm,’ I said, stepping forward.

  But I was too late. She wobbled on her feet, then her knees gave out and she collapsed to the floor. Her head hit the marble with a dull thud that sent bile leaping into my throat. Her eyes flickered shut and her long legs and arms splayed lifelessly on the floor.

  ‘Ava!’ I threw myself to the ground to see if she was breathing. She was. After that, everything slowed down.

  I remember crying out, ‘Help, someone please help! My friend’s fainted.’ I remember Ava murmuring, ‘Am I bleeding? My head hurts.’ I remember someone trying — and failing — to peel me away from Ava’s body. I remember Liani arriving and patting me on the back.

  Security guards shooed everyone else away to make space for two burly ambulance officers to bring a stretcher into the foyer.

  ‘Is she going to be okay?’ I asked.

  ‘It’s just a precaution, Josie,’ Liani told me before giving me a hug and hopping in the back of the ambulance with Ava. ‘Go home, honey. Go home and rest.’

  I nodded, too stunned to respond.

  ‘Everything will be fine, I promise,’ she said, rummaging in her bag and handing me a small rectangular piece of paper. ‘Take this cab charge and go straight home. Use the taxi rank around the corner, and sign on the line when they drop you off. It won’t cost you a thing.’

  I nodded again.

  The ambulance door slammed closed, cutting off our conversation. Liani gave me a small wave through the window and I watched her and Ava speed away, the ambulance sirens sounding like screams in my head.

  While I threw my clothes, accessories and toiletries into my suitcase at Tim’s place, I couldn’t stop stressing about whether Ava was okay. Why had she fainted? I couldn’t shake the sound of the ambulance sirens from my ears, or the thud of her head against the ground. I wanted to call the office to find out what was going on, but since I was no longer a Sash intern I figured that wouldn’t go down well.

  Packing took longer than I’d expected because somehow over the past few months of crashing with Tim and James each week, I’d made myself at home. My possessions were strewn everywhere, so before I could pack I had to endure a treasure hunt to find them all. My favourite silver pen was on top of the fridge, a hair comb was nestled in a pot plant and a pair of black undies (thankfully clean) were stuffed behind the couch in the lounge room. I pushed everything into my suitcase, squashing colours, materials and toiletries together. It took three attempts — and lots of swearing — to close it, but I managed. Once it was zipped and locked I realised I’d forgotten to pack my towel, which was still damp and hanging in the bathroom. I decided the guys could keep it. They needed all the household items they could get.

  I sat down on the couch, remembering all the nights it had served as my bed. My favourite memories were, without a doubt, my chill-out sessions with James. The fake talk-show interviews, the flirting, the cups of tea, the awkward dancing, the telling of secrets — they seemed so long ago now.

  What the hell was the matter with me? I’d promised myself I’d stop dragging up the past, but it seemed impossible. James kept wriggling his way into my mind, and no matter how many times I swatted him away, there he was again.

  Keen to distract myself, I scoured the train timetable. I could be on the train within an hour and home by nightfall.

  After the afternoon’s events, I was ready to go home. I needed familiarity, peace and quiet. The city, for all its expansive choices and fun, didn’t offer any of those. My craving for my own soft warm bed to burrow into was too strong to ignore. Even if things weren’t so great with my family right now, I knew home was where I needed to be.

  I picked up my suitcase and wheeled it toward the front door, then looked back for one final breath at the apartment. I hated to admit it, but I was going to miss its mismatched charm — even Tim’s smelly socks and week-old T
hai takeaway containers. All of a sudden the door burst open and Tim and Steph crashed through and knocked me down. The three of us lay in a tangled mess on the floor, our legs, arms and bags intertwined into a human pretzel. Tim burst into a fit of laughter.

  Steph slapped him lightly on the shoulder. ‘This is supposed to be serious, remember? Give her the cupcakes.’

  ‘Oh yeah, sorry.’ He grinned and held up a container of squashed cakes. ‘Sat on them, babe.’

  I raised my eyebrow. Babe? I couldn’t believe it: my lazy, laidback cousin was completely under Steph’s thumb. Aunt Julie would be thrilled!

  ‘So, ah …’ I couldn’t find the words. ‘Did you hear …?’

  ‘About Ava?’ said Steph. ‘Yeah, everyone’s talking about it.’ She unthreaded herself from our tangle. ‘Half the Sash girls have gone to the hospital to wait with her; they didn’t want her to be by herself. The rest of us were sent home.’

  I was confused. ‘Her fiancé couldn’t make it? Is he working? You’d think your boss would give you time off if your fiancée was in hospital!’

  ‘Yeah, it’s just … Ava hasn’t been completely honest about that,’ said Steph.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Sia texted me from the hospital. Apparently he called off the wedding ages ago. He left her for someone else.’

  ‘No! You’re kidding?’

  ‘She didn’t tell anyone. Isn’t it awful? Like, hide-in-your-bedroom-forever awful.’

  ‘The engagement ring,’ I muttered. ‘She told me it was getting cleaned.’

  ‘Apparently it was one of her friends he hooked up with, too.’

  ‘Far out, is everyone cheating these days?’

  ‘I’m not,’ said Tim.

  Steph elbowed him, but I saw a small smile escape. She was obviously falling for my cousin, too.

  ‘So, what was wrong with Ava?’ I asked. ‘Does she have to stay the night?’

  ‘Sia said they’re running tests, but they don’t think she’s been eating properly for months, maybe even longer. Or when she does, she’ll make herself sick.’