When Forever Changes

by Siobhan Davis

  “I hate that I ruined his night. I should’ve just gotten Mom and Dad to bring me.”

  “You’d have ruined his night if you didn’t call him. You know that.” He’s probably right. “Are you nervous?” he adds.

  “Yeah, but I’m excited too.” And relieved. Or at least I will be once everything is okay. I know it’s not inconceivable to go early, and we’ve gone beyond the point where it’s risky, so I’m sure it’ll be okay. I’m wondering if Billy knows his daddy doesn’t have long left. If he’s as eager to meet him as Dylan is and he’s just decided to arrive a little early.

  “Me too.” It’s hard to tell what Dylan’s feeling by his face anymore, but there’s a light in his eyes I haven’t seen in weeks.

  I take his hands, placing them on my stomach. “Do you feel that?”

  “Whoa! Yeah.”

  I take deep breaths as another contraction rolls through me. “It’s getting stronger.” I glance at the time, so I can keep track, and update my OB once we arrive at the hospital.

  “It’s really happening, Dimples.” He rubs my belly again. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

  “Slater is here, Gabby,” Heather says, popping her head in the door. “And your mom just rang to confirm they are en route to the hospital.”

  “Thanks, Heather.” I’m sure she would’ve loved to be there too, but there’s no way she’ll leave Dylan, and I don’t want her to either. I know Rowena is here, but he needs a loved one here in case anything happens.

  That is the absolute worst thought to pop into my mind in this moment, and I rush to shake it away. Tears spill down my cheeks as I lean forward to kiss Dylan goodbye. “Bye, baby. Don’t go anywhere while I’m gone.”

  He lifts a shaky hand to my face, caressing my cheek. “I’ll be right here waiting.”

  “I’ll FaceTime you the minute I’m holding him in my arms,” I promise, drying my tears and giving him a reassuring smile. “Love you, Freckles.” I brush my mouth against his cracked lips one final time.

  “Love you, Dimples,” he replies before I make my way downstairs.

  “I’m sorry for cutting your night short,” I tell Slater when I’m strapped into the car and we’re on our way.

  “Are you shitting me, Belle?” He looks a little bit mad. “I only went out because we were celebrating the end of finals and I won’t see a lot of those guys again, but I was drinking soda all night in case something happened.” The anger fades from his face, and he reaches across the console, squeezing my hand. “Trust me, there is nowhere else I would rather be.” His voice carries a layer of elation that helps settle my nerves.

  “I’ll end up giving birth in the back seat if you continue Driving Miss Daisy,” I joke ten minutes later when we’ve barely advanced more than a few miles.

  “I’d prefer to get you to the hospital safely, Belle. Unless you’re telling me your contractions are coming more regularly now?”

  “Nope. It’s still every fifteen to twenty minutes.”

  “So that means you’re only a couple centimeters dilated, right?”

  I gawk at him like he’s just grown an extra head or two. He chuckles. “I asked Dylan to send me some of those books he was reading. I wanted to be prepared. And I soaked up everything during the prenatal classes, unlike someone I could mention.” He purses his lips, smirking at me.

  “Hey, it’s not my fault I dozed off the last couple times. The instructor’s dulcet tones lulled me to sleep.”

  “You seem very calm.”

  “Don’t believe everything you see. I’m a freaking hot mess on the inside. I accidentally turned on this show the other day and the woman was giving birth. I swear she screamed so loud she damaged my eardrums even through the TV. It scared the shit out of me. How horrific must the pain be to shriek like a banshee during labor?”

  He reaches over, squeezing my hand. “They probably told her they’d double the cash if she dramatized it for the viewers.”

  I snort. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s just that painful.”

  “You can always change your mind on the epidural,” he suggests, finally taking the exit for the hospital.

  “I’d really like to do it without, but I guess we’ll have to see.”

  Slater takes control once we arrive at the hospital, checking in with reception and wrapping his arm around my shoulder, keeping me close, as we ride the elevator to the maternity ward. They instantly hook me up to a fetal monitor, confirming everything is fine. Baby Woods has just decided to come into this world early after all. We both breathe a sigh of relief, and Slater kisses the top of my head. “Thank fuck. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little worried on the way here.”

  “I know,” I say, lacing my fingers through his. “I was too.” I chew on my bottom lip. “Do you think Billy knows his daddy doesn’t have long left and he decided to arrive early, so he gets a chance to meet him?”

  “If Billy has some of your compassion and selflessness and some of Dylan’s genius brain, then I totally think he’s made that call.” He raises our conjoined hands, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand.

  “I know it’s going to get crazy once my family is let in, so I just want to say this now. Thank you so much for doing this with me. I know you’ve had a lot on your plate lately, especially with finals, and I appreciate you giving up your time to come to my appointments and classes.”

  “Like I told Dylan, you don’t need to thank me. I’m happy to be here.” He pulls his chair in closer, and it looks like he’s conducting some form of internal debate. “Actually, that doesn’t even come close to conveying how fucking ecstatic I am to be a part of this. I love you, Belle, and that’s never going to change. And I loved Billy from the second I found out about him. It doesn’t matter that he’s not my flesh and blood. I love this kid because he’s a part of you, and I already know he’s going to be as precious and special as you are, so there’s no way I would miss out on this.” He wipes his thumbs under my damp eyes. “I’m honored you chose me to do this with you. I know you could’ve asked your mom or Myndi, and I’ll always be grateful you asked me to share this magical experience with you.”

  “Slate, my God.” I can scarcely talk over the lump of emotion in my throat. “Come here. I need to hug you.”

  He wraps his arms around me, and I rest my head on his shoulder, acknowledging how lucky I am to have this man’s unwavering support.

  My parents enter the suite just then, and we break apart. “Oh honey.” Mom kisses my cheek. “Look how beautiful you are. Doesn’t she look beautiful, Paul?” She glances at my dad over her shoulder.

  “Hey, Buttercup.” He kisses my forehead. “Mom’s right. You’re beautiful, like always. How are you feeling?”

  “I’m okay. The OB confirmed I’m only three centimeters dilated, so this could take some time. At least Dylan organized this private suite in advance, and there’s plenty of room for everyone to hang out.” I swing my legs off the side of the bed, and Slater helps me down onto the ground. I toe my slippers on as he helps me into my robe. “We’re going to go for a walk. She said that would help.”

  Slater offers me his arm, and I loop mine through his. Then we set off, bumping into Ryan, Myndi, and Dean on the way out the door. After we’ve exchanged greetings and hugs, Slater guides me out into the corridor, and we spend an hour pacing the hallways, shooting the shit to pass the time and help distract me. When Caleb calls, Slater finds a bench and helps me sit down as I talk to my brother. He can’t be here as Terri is presently sleeping and he doesn’t want to leave her side. She’s due to give birth in a matter of days so she could go at any time. I reassure him it’s fine and that I look forward to seeing them once I’m back home.

  We resume walking after that, but the contractions are coming much faster now, and I have to stop every so often, clutching onto Slater as I pant and gasp my way through them. When they become t
oo much, Slater insists on bringing me back to the suite.

  He summons my OB and kicks my family out to the waiting area as soon as she arrives. He’s busy tapping away on his cell while the doctor examines me. Slater has been messaging Dylan nonstop, every step of the way, taking tons of pics and sending regular updates. I’ve even spoken to him a couple brief times. I want Dylan to feel as connected to this moment as possible.

  “Everything looks good, Gabby,” the OB says. “You’re almost there. Hit the button when you feel the urge to push and I’ll be back.” Then she leaves me alone with Slater, and my family rushes back into the room, excitement lighting up all their faces.

  “You’re looking a little red in the face there, Tornado,” Ryan jokes after a particularly intense contraction. “It can’t be that painful or women wouldn’t be pushing peanuts out of their vajayjays every second of every day.” He winks, attempting to smother his laughter.

  Dean shakes his head. “You’re an idiot.”

  “A stupid, sexist idiot,” Myndi adds, rolling her eyes.

  My head falls back on the pillow, and I’m panting and sweating with all the exertion. “Punch him for me, please?” I beg Slater, clutching tightly to his hand.

  “Right.” Mom claps her hands. “I think it’s time we gave Gabby her privacy. She needs to maintain her strength, and she can’t do that with all of us here.” She leans in to kiss me. “Good luck, darling. You’re a natural.”

  “Aaghh!” I scream as intense pain takes hold of me, washing over my stomach in waves of searing agony. Holy shit. I thought the cramping and pain from endometriosis was bad, but this takes the cake. Ryan races out the door faster than Usain Bolt on skates, and tears of laughter sneak out of the corner of my eyes.

  Slater snorts, squeezing my hand.

  “We’re right outside, Buttercup.” Dad pats the top of my head. “And we’re so proud of you.”

  “Annie screamed the place down giving birth,” Dean says when it’s his time to kiss me. “It’s completely normal. And she cussed like a sailor!” His smile is sad. “You’re doing amazing, Gabby, and I can’t wait to meet Billy.” He slaps Slater on the shoulder. “Take care of my sister and my nephew.”

  “Oh, Gabby.” Myndi is crying tears of joy. “Thank you for having me here. This is one of the most incredible things I’ve ever been a part of.” She hugs me while I grit my teeth, riding out another contraction. “Knock it out of the park, sister.” She waves before slipping out of the room, and I collapse against the pillow.

  “Oh, thank fuck! I thought they’d never leave and I … Aaghhh!!” I scream bloody murder, and a string of expletives rips from my mouth. Slater rubs my shoulders, offering assurances, but I can hardly hear him over the pain. Another wave hits me, and I pant furiously, mentally coaching myself to get a grip. Ryan was right about one thing. Plenty of women do this every day, a lot without pain relief, and if they’re strong enough to withstand it, then so am I. “Fuck, Slate.” I whimper, squeezing his hand so tight I’m probably stopping the blood flow. “This hurts so fucking much.”

  “You’ve got this, Belle,” he says, propping me up with more pillows and popping an ice cube into my mouth. He wipes my sweaty brow. “Remember your breathing.” He joins me in inhaling and exhaling, and the look of concentration on his face is extreme. If I wasn’t in so much freaking pain, I’d probably find it funny. “Remind me.” I pant. “Why I said no to an epidural?”

  “Because you’re a sadist?” he jokes.

  “Clearly.” I pant before screaming so loud it’s a wonder the window didn’t shatter. “Push the button, Slate.”

  “Are you—”

  “Push the fucking button!” I yell as pressure bears down on me. “Holy shit!”

  The doctor rushes into the room, conducts one final examination, and then gives me a thumbs-up. I giggle at the absurdity of the gesture in the situation, but it helps relax me a smidgeon. “Next time you feel like pushing, go for it.”

  She guides me through each step. “Good job, Gabby. His head is out.” Slater looks down to where it’s all happening as the nurse immediately suctions Billy’s mouth, clearing his airways.

  “Oh, Belle. He’s so beautiful. He has a mass of dark hair.” Slater’s words drip with awe.

  I grind my teeth and push as another contraction hits, and a shrill cry pierces the air. Tears pump out of my eyes as my little boy exercises his lungs. How can such a tiny human emit such loud cries?

  An intense burst of pain eclipses my joy, momentarily, and then I feel his body slide through my channel. It’s the weirdest and most amazing sensation. It’s almost instant relief, and I collapse against Slater, exhausted and exhilarated.

  “It’s a beautiful baby boy,” the doctor confirms, and I strain my neck to see over the flabby mountain that was once my flat belly. “Would you like to cut the cord?” she asks Slater.

  I look up at him, and my heart melts. Slater is quietly crying, his face full of wonder, and I fall in love with him all over again. “Can I?” he whispers, looking at me with intense longing.

  I nod, because I don’t trust myself to speak. Slater cups my face and presses a firm kiss to my lips before moving to the end of the bed. I watch him snip the cord with tears rolling down my face. He smiles adoringly at Billy, and the look of love on his face is unmistakable.

  Slater stands watch while the nurse checks his vitals, cleans him up, and then brings him to me. She lays him flat on my chest, skin to skin, and I can hardly see over the tears flowing from my eyes like a river. “Welcome to the world, Billy,” I whisper, kissing the top of his head. “I’m your mom, and I love you so much.” His tiny body feels warm and soft against my skin and I’m instantly head over heels in love. I lay my hands on his tiny back, marveling at his perfectly formed fingers and toes. He whimpers, nudging his head against my breast, his plump little mouth opening and closing. I’ve already made a decision to not breastfeed at first. It’s not that I don’t want to, because I do, but I want to spend as much time with Dylan and my son as possible, and it’s easier to rely on pre-made formula for the time being.

  “I love you,” Slater tells me, pressing a passionate kiss to my lips. “And he’s so beautiful, Belle.” He places his hand carefully on top of his head. “He’s so small.” I can hear the marvel in his tone.

  Slater snaps a pic and sends it to Dylan. Then he opens his FaceTime app and calls him, holding the cell out for me. The instant Dylan connects to the call, Billy emits an anguished cry, and I shunt up in the bed, cradling him in my arms. “Shush, little man. We’ll feed you soon. You’ve got to say hi to your daddy first.” I take his little hand and wiggle it at the screen.

  Tears are rolling down Dylan’s face. “Look at him, Dimples. Look at the perfect little boy we made together.”

  I can’t stop the tears from streaming down my face either, but this time they’re happy tears. “He has your hair.”

  “And your blue eyes,” Dylan adds. Actually, his eyes are a darker shade of blue than mine, but the doctor said it might take a few weeks or even months for his natural eye color to come through.

  “He’s perfect.” I smile at Dylan. “We created a perfect little human, and I already love him so much.”

  “Hurry home, babe,” Dylan says, his voice breaking as he starts coughing. He pulls the oxygen mask onto his mouth, and his head falls back on the pillow. He’s exhausted and clearly fighting sleep.

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Sleep, my love, and we’ll see you soon.” I blow him a kiss, nodding at Slater, and he ends the call just as Rowena and Heather reappear in Dylan’s room.

  It’s a timely reminder that I need to get back to him asap.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Slater runs out to the hallway to tell my family the good news, and then he returns, helping to dress Billy before settling in the chair to feed him his first bottle. My son
has a fine pair of lungs on him, and I’m sure my family can hear his cries out in the hallway. The instant Slater puts the nipple in his mouth, his lips suction over the tip, sucking greedily. Slater and I lock eyes, smiling as we exchange similar emotions. It’s a profound moment, and he looks so natural cradling my son in his bulky, tatted-up arms. My heart tugs, continuing to thump wildly as I watch Slater feeding Billy while the doctor stitches me up. After, the nurse helps me into a fresh nightgown, and then she cleans the bed. I’m propped up in the cot, watching Slater cradling my son in his arms, softly humming to him while he sleeps, with tears welling in my eyes. Billy emits a little contented sigh, and my heart surges with love. It’s a beautiful, beautiful moment, but my heart is split in two.

  Slater places my sleeping son in my arms, pressing a kiss to my temple. “He’s beautiful, Belle. Just like his mom. And that was the most incredible experience of my life. Thank you for sharing that with me.” He gently caresses my cheek. “You were born to be a mom.” He walks away before I can respond, opening the door to my family.

  They fall in love with Billy instantly, taking turns holding my sleeping beauty and cooing over him. I’m so happy they’re here, but I’m itching to bring my baby home to his daddy. Although an early release has been prearranged—something else Dylan thought to organize—I still need to wait a couple hours for the all clear.

  There are times when being wealthy comes in handy. Not only did Dylan hire the best OB in the state and organize this private suite, he also hired a maternity nurse to look after me at home, and he’s paid a fortune to secure the OB for home visits too.

  As I’m driving home with Slater and my son a few hours later, I silently pray. Begging God to give us as much time together as a family as possible before taking Dylan from us.