Adam, Enough Said (This Can't be Happening)
Page 5
I was so distracted by his tenderness that I didn't understand why he muttered, "Thank God they're still there."
"What?" I asked in a small voice.
He shook his head, glanced down at my lap and then back up. The blue in his green eyes sparkled. "Your freckles," he finally answered and I inhaled a sharp breath
My entire body sighed. He sounded like the idea of me not having my freckles anymore would be devastating. I opened my mouth to respond, but he spoke before me.
"Do you remember the story I told you about my dad?" he asked softly and his words had me curious. I nodded, wondering where he was going with this and what his dad had to do with why we were currently in his room.
His dad had had two families. Married to another woman and always promising Adam's mom that he was leaving his wife for her. When Ms. Bryant had decided she'd had enough and that she no longer wanted anything to do with Adam’s dad, he raped her; a horrendous circumstance which resulted in Ms. Bryant conceiving Adam. She'd threatened to press charges in an attempt to keep his father away, but Adam's dad came in and out of their lives whenever he felt like it.
Ms. Bryant, God rest her soul, had been scared of him.
But visits from Adam's dad slowed down when his wife got pregnant; around the time Adam was five. Then he would pop in three or four times a year, try to apologize, get pissed, slap Adam and his mom around and leave. It wasn't until Adam was around fourteen that the visits stopped all together, and at nineteen, Adam was informed that his dad had died.
"He left me money," Adam said and my brows met in confusion because I already knew that.
"I know," I replied, but he shook his head.
"No, Mia, he left me money. A lot of it. Not enough to make me rich, but it was plenty enough to secure my future and the future of my family. He left the same amount to both me and Landyn. I never told you because I knew you couldn’t care less about money, but I also didn’t tell you, because I’d sworn I would never touch a penny of it. I swore I'd never use his money for the hell he put my mom through. I never wanted to feel that I needed that asshole for anything, especially after he died."
I thought about that for a second before responding, "Okay. That's understandable...who's Landyn?"
Adam groaned, "My brother…my half-brother."
I thought on that for another minute, and my eyes widened when it finally sank in that Adam had made contact with his younger brother. Adam had told me about him, but he’d never tried to contact him. I nodded, a little pleased and now even more curious. I wanted to ask questions, but I knew I had no right.
"Mia, what you said earlier was true. When I got you pregnant..." I tensed. Adam's hands moved off my hips to wrap completely around my waist to keep me in place.
"Please, let me finish. I was miserable and I was confused, but it wasn't because I didn't want our baby. Not even close. I was terrified. We were young. You were only nineteen and still going to school; I was immature and I'd only been on the police force for a year. I was working all the time to support us and help pay for your school, because again, I refused to touch my father's money and I wanted to give you everything you never had. Then you got pregnant --"
"Don't you dare blame me," I hissed. "Do not put any of this shit on me. I never asked you for anything!"
"Jesus, I'm not blaming you. Will you just listen for one goddamn second?"
"Why, Adam? It doesn't matter. What's done is done. Just let me go."
"Let you go," he whispered, before lifting and roaring in my face, "What if I don't want to let you go? What if I tell you that now that I have you here, I'm not letting you go again?"
I flinched and swallowed hard past the tears and fear that clogged my throat. "What do you want from me?" I whispered, desperate for an answer.
"I just want you. All I've ever wanted was you. I want my wife back."
“Now? Why now…after all this time?” I shook my head. “Never mind, don’t answer that.”
I knew anything he’d say would be a lie. He would have come for me if he’d wanted me back. He wouldn’t have waited all this time.
I knew that as soon as I'd left him, he had other women in his bed - in this very bed. I knew that he knew how to sweet talk and say all the right things to get what he wanted, whenever he wanted.
Maybe that was what this was all about. This whole line of bullshit he was spewing. I was the one who got away and left on my terms, not his. Was that what this was about? Dominance? Control? Who had the upper hand?
A game?
If I relinquished the power and let him have it, let him think he had the control, would he go away and finally let me go? I always fought him before, but maybe that was the problem. I wasn’t sure of anything, but I knew I had to do something and I'd already tried everything else.
In all seriousness, I was on the brink of losing all sense of sanity when it came to Adam. I always had been.
Would I lose everything?
Probably.
Max, would I lose him? Did I care?
I did care, but not enough. Three months of being together wasn’t long enough for me to love him.
Would Max understand though? Was I willing to risk losing him?
I wasn't sure, but I had to do something and Adam was, after all, still my fucking husband.
Could I not like it? Could I resist liking it?
Probably not, but I'd sure as shit try.
Could I live with myself afterward if I did lose everything…again?
Absolutely, I'd move on, like I always had - alone if I had to - but happily, as long as I was rid of Adam.
Was enough alcohol still coursing through my system to get me through this?
Yes. Yes, there was.
This was going to be logical, mechanical and compulsory sex that, in the end, would make me just as bad as Adam if not worse, but that was okay, because I sort of wanted it one last time.
"I want you back. You have no idea how much," he whispered, deep and hoarse, his words pierced my heart, and in that moment, I sold my soul to the devil.
I lifted my arms, reached around my neck and pulled my hair over one shoulder, quickly unzipping the back of my top. Adam leaned back, his curious eyes watching me intently, and I grabbed the hem of my top and lifted it over my head.
I threw it on the floor.
Adam's arms fell away from my hips. He closed his eyes and - swear to God - he held his breath.
"What's the matter, Adam? Isn't this what you want?" I reached around my back, unhooked the clasp of my bra and let it slide off my arms. When his eyes opened, they landed directly on my face and never glanced down.
"I won't touch you," he said in a rough voice; his eyes wounded, his expression confused, and I smiled knowingly.
"Yes. You will," I whispered with confidence, hating myself, because deep down inside, I knew he wanted this too…it was why he had brought me to his bed, consciously or subconsciously.
I reached out, touched both sides of his face and cupped his jaw in the palm of my hands. My thumbs caressed him softly as we stared into each other's eyes...searching...past all the pain, past all the hurt, past all the torment, all the way down to the souls that, at one time, I thought had been one and the same.
He lifted his arms and wrapped his hands around my wrists, gripping them hard and his breathing accelerated. His eyes remained trained on mine.
"I don't want this, Mia, and you don't want this either. This isn't what I was talking about when I said I wanted you back," he said, but the truth was in the hitch in his voice.
I lowered my head until our faces were inches apart, breathing the same breath and I drank him in. My eyes lowered to his lips and I didn't hesitate reintroducing them to mine. I kissed him, a soft closed mouth kiss, but deep nonetheless. I pulled back slightly and caught the stunned expression on his face, before I kissed him again. I kissed the corner of his mouth, the right side, then the left, then the center, and Adam did nothing but remain statue still.
I dropped to my knees in front of him and spread my legs wide around his. He sat back and I pressed closer, straddling him.
Better.
"The alcohol isn't helping you make the best decisions right now, but I know damn good and well you're not drunk, Mia. You won’t be able to use that as an excuse in the morning," I heard Adam say, just as I lifted to kiss his neck, nip him, right under his jaw.
He groaned.
"I'm telling you I won't stop," he hissed as I kissed my way down his neck to the collar of his shirt. "You do this, you let this happen…it's not on me. I won't regret it and I'll make damn sure you don't either. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Of course I understood, that was the whole idea, that this situation would be on me, that he'd get whatever it was he needed to out of his system and get rid of me for good, kick me out of his house, finally let me go, tell me to go fuck myself...I didn't care.
I bit him. Hard, but not enough to break the skin. My teeth sank into the flesh covering his collarbone and then I quickly released him to run my tongue over the mark. Adam’s body jerked and he sucked in a sharp breath. I kissed him there again, letting my lips linger.
His body straightened, pushing me back slightly and our eyes locked. His arms wrapped around my waist, his forearms brushed the skin at my sides as his hands landed on my lower back. He pulled me to him, so close my breasts were crushed to his chest. His hands traveled their way upward at an insanely slow pace, tracing my spine with the tips until they reached my neck. I shivered and bit the inside of my cheek to keep from moaning.
Then catching me off guard, his hands dove into my hair and fisted. He tugged hard, forcing my head back until I was looking up at him, nose to nose, sharing the same breath.
“I warned you...this game, whatever the fuck it is...just backfired,” he growled and it was the only warning I got, before his lips crashed down on mine, taking my mouth with a hunger so fierce I worried nothing of me would be left over.
I whimpered, wanting even more. My tongue met his head on, devouring his mouth in return. I was so into this kiss that I completely forgot he was supposed to be in control. That he was supposed to control me.
Or was he already?
I didn’t get my answer, because all of a sudden, I lost his mouth. I opened my eyes, forgetting that I'd closed them at all. His eyes remained closed and he dropped his forehead to mine. He loosened the hold his hand had on my hair as we both panted.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you…how much I’ve missed us,” he whispered against my lips and then he kissed me again, feather light, before bringing a hand around my face to trace my lips with his fingertips. “How much I’ve missed this,” he finished, caressing me.
I would never admit how much I’ve missed him too, but I knew better.
They were sweet words, so sweet they brought tears to my eyes, but I kept them in check. I didn’t want sweet Adam. I hated sweet Adam.
“You’re not going back to him after this. I won’t allow it,” he growled.
Adam Bryant
“What?” she asked in a small voice, confusion lacing her tone.
She was playing a game, but it was one she was going to lose. I could see the need in her eyes and the tears she refused to let fall.
I wanted nothing more than to take her pain away and I was going to, because she was the only person who could take mine away too. Whatever she was after, whatever she was trying to accomplish with this game, didn’t matter. When I was finished with her, I was never letting her go, and whatever problems, whatever issues we’d had in the past, were going to be fixed after this…or we would work on fixing them…
First thing in the morning.
Right now, I was going to own her.
It wasn’t fair that she already owned me.
I knew that sex with Mia shouldn’t be happening this way and I knew it was wrong, but it was the only other way I knew. I’d tried other ways before, but always ended up making things worse, and in the end, I had to let her go.
Sort of.
I’d kept tabs on her over the years, and up until a few months ago, I’d kept really close tabs, but when I’d kissed her outside of her apartment the last time I saw her – and saw the pain that kiss had caused - I’d decided to give her a break.
Which turned out to be a mistake.
Max. I’m gonna fuckin’ kill him.
That piece of shit was trouble and I knew it from the first time I ever met him. He just had that look…that slimy expression and those weasely eyes. Not one person in the department liked him.
He wasn’t getting near Mia again. I’d make sure of it.
“Max. He no longer exists for you,” I told Mia and knew she understood exactly what I meant by that when I watched her squeeze her eyes shut. Several seconds passed before they opened, but when they did, she remained silent, her eyes impassive.
Which worked to her advantage because, I wasn’t paying close enough attention and, a second later, she slapped me so hard across my face my head whipped to the side.
Stinging radiated throughout the side of my face.
“Fuck,” I hissed.
I glared, and she at least had the grace enough to look horrified. We remained at a standstill, both of us breathing hard, both of us angry…and then she launched herself at me, taking us both to the floor and I landed on my back with a grunt.
We both fought for the upper hand.
She fought with my shirt and pulled it from my pants as I fumbled with the button of her jeans. She slapped my hands away, lifted my shirt to my chin, bent and devoured my mouth with hers, as her hands worked between us to unzip my pants.
As soon as I was free, she ran her small, warm hand over the tip, circling and rubbing.
I hissed when she stopped a moment later.
She rose to her knees and my dick twitched in anticipation, but she didn’t take me in her mouth like I’d hoped. She backed away and stood, completely naked from the waist up.
Her full breasts, the pretty, small pink tips were calling out to me and my mouth watered. My eyes traveled down to her small waist and generous hips, but I didn’t have much time to appreciate it all, because she bent and removed her jeans too fast. And then, she dropped back down to her knees and climbed over me, covering my body and attacking my mouth with hers before I realized what was happening.
She started rubbing herself against me, coating me with her wetness, driving me crazy with her mouth.
“Mia, slow down,” I mumbled against her lips and gripped her hips, but she reached between us to grab me, to rush me, to use me and piss me off. I felt myself at her entrance only a second before she took me inside her body.
“Goddamn it, Mia,” I groaned, and she took my mouth harder.
She worked herself on me, up and down, four or five times and it felt so fuckin’ good I thought about letting her finish me off, but in the back of my mind I knew this was all wrong and I’d had enough.
She let out a squeal when I rolled, flipped her to her back and pulled out.
She frowned up at me, but I ignored the pretty pout on her face, kicked off my shoes, ripped my shirt over my head, stood and took off my pants. I did all this while staring down at her, and when I finished, I walked two paces to my dresser and grabbed what I needed. I came back, bent down, put one arm under her knees, one behind her back, and picked her up.
She let out a “yelp” when I swung her around and tossed her on the bed. I followed behind her quickly, covered her body with mine, grabbed both her wrists, lifted them above her head and… SNAP! cuffed them to the headboard.
“What the --” she asked frantically as she tugged at her wrists.
“We’re playing this my way,” I
growled and then kissed her lips quickly.
I lifted, lowered myself down her body and I filled my hands with her full, heavy breasts. I took them in my mouth and caressed them until her body was putty in my hands. I took the right tip in my mouth, licking and sucking until she withered beneath me.
Then, I moved to the left.
“Adam,” she breathed like a plea.
I moved lower, kissing, licking and nipping my way down her stomach, her sides, her hips, until I came to the apex between her thighs.
I spread her wide, wrapped my arms around her thighs, gripped her hips and I kissed the inside of her thigh.
She smelled so damn good.
“No, Adam, I don’t want to come. Please, let me go,” she said in a breathless whisper. I didn’t know if she meant she didn’t want to come at all or come like this, but she sounded desperate to do just that.
I lifted, bit the inside of her thigh and sucked hard.
"Not too hard," she whined, but I wanted my mark on her too badly to stop. I needed it on her and when I knew it would be purple enough, I lifted.
My eyes immediately hit her pretty, pink, needy sweet spot and my dick wanted to skip this part and go straight for balls deep, but my mouth had other ideas.
I had to taste her.
And without wasting any more time, I did. I licked her once, but it wasn’t enough. I needed to taste more. I brought my hand around, desperate to feel her and I entered one finger.
Mia gasped.
"Already so fuckin' wet for me, Baby," I breathed against her skin, more than pleased. I curled my finger and worked her, in and out, over and over as I ate her up with my mouth. When she moaned my name, I added another finger and she groaned. I heard the handcuffs rasp against the headboard as her thighs tightened around my face and I looked up to see her eyes closed.
I felt her insides clench around my fingers, but I knew she was holding back.
"Come for me, Mia," I demanded roughly. She shook her head, fighting me, but I knew it wouldn't be long. I picked up the pace, my tongue and fingers claiming her, hitting her simultaneously in all the right spots.