Adam, Enough Said (This Can't be Happening)

by LeeAnne, Lynda

  They’re making breakfast?

  Twenty-minutes later, after Adam and I finished explaining our past in greater detail, as well as explaining the situation with Max, the room grew quiet. Lex and I sat at the breakfast bar watching the guys - in aprons - as they shuffled around the kitchen preparing breakfast. Laura was sitting in a high chair that Adam kept stored in his pantry and she was coloring. Every once in a while I would hear Layla shouting at the TV.

  The whole scene was surreal.

  “They’re wearing aprons,” I pointed out, trying to break the ice wall that seemed to have built up, and I felt Lex’s eyes hit my face.

  “Yeah, you should see them in the aprons when they’re not wearing shirts. Minus the sanitary issues, it’s pretty damn sexy.”

  I smiled before I heard her resigned exhale.

  “I still can’t believe you’re married, Adam. I can’t believe you never told me. I always knew something was up with you when it came to women, but I never would have guessed you were married… and the miscarriage…I wish you would have told me,” she said with disappointment.

  “What would you have done, Lex? Told me to go after her?” he replied like it would have been a crazy suggestion.

  “No, I’d probably have found her myself and told her the truth; that you needed her. I hated seeing you so…lonely. Lan hated it too.”

  Landyn snorted, “Yeah right,” and Lex glared at him.

  I kept my smile to myself. It was interesting, their nicknames for each other. Only Landyn called Lex, Lexi, and only Lex called Landyn, Lan. I was going to have to get used to that.

  “I hurt her bad, Lex. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her again, and I think that’s what always kept me from coming after her. I wanted her to move on with her life, but I also didn’t want to let her go,” Adam admitted and my heart swelled when the same sincerity in his voice was revealed through the eyes that locked with mine.

  In that instant, I knew.

  I loved him.

  Just like I always had.

  I love him.

  I swallowed hard and my palms started sweating at the realization.

  “Can we go back to my apartment today?” I asked, intentionally changing the subject because I was trying to take my mind off how pathetic I was.

  “I need my clothes, I need Cat and I need my laptop…oh shit! I forgot about my laptop. I hope it’s okay and wasn’t destroyed. I need it for work. I have like...five trips to book tomorrow… Do I have to go to court tomorrow like you said? And don’t you have to work? You didn’t go yesterday and you haven’t said anything about today.”

  I rushed out all my thoughts as they came to me and Adam stared at me like I was crazy. The hand holding a spatula was frozen mid-air.

  “You have a cat? Why didn’t you tell me, I would have brought it here?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No, I don’t have a cat. Cat is my car.”

  Adam froze. “Excuse me?”

  “Wait, you named your car Cat?” Landyn cut in with an inquiring expression on his face and when I nodded, he continued. “What kind of car is Cat?”

  “A 1968 Chevy Camaro Super Sport. Tuxedo Black with red racing stripes and red interior.” I shrugged. “She’s part of the reason I could never afford to divorce Adam. Actually, she was the only reason. She took all my money…the high maintenance bitch,” I muttered to myself before continuing. “But she was all mine and the only thing I owned after I left Adam,” I finished proudly.

  Landyn beamed at me while Adam stared at me like I was a freak of nature. Landyn turned to Adam. “She drives a black ‘68 Camaro with red racing strips.” He sounded pleased with my car and I smiled, but Adam only looked angrier.

  “Why’d you name it Cat?” Lex asked curiously and I faced her.

  “Because she purrs like one… well, she does now anyway. It was more of a strangled wet cat cry when I first bought her, but I didn’t know any better six years ago,” I finished and to my surprise, everyone chuckled, except Adam. When I looked in his direction, my happiness disappeared and I frowned at him.

  “You still have that car?” Adam asked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

  My frown turned into a glare. “Of course I still have it. I love that car. Why? Are you thinking of having your attorney demand I give you the title again?”

  His comeback was quick and snappy. “I might. You shouldn’t be driving a car like that, it’s not safe. You should be in a truck…or a tank.”

  My eye roll was so elaborated even my head moved. He was too much. “Whatever, Adam. Can we go to my apartment or not?”

  He sighed and didn’t answer me right away, but when he did, I could tell he wasn’t happy about it. “I’ll have to get the all-clear, but yes, as soon as I get it, we’ll go to the apartment today so you can get your clothes. I’m not sure about your laptop though. And I don’t like your car…I mean, it’s a badass car, I just don’t want you driving it…tell you what, I’ll drive it. You can drive my truck.”

  I gasped, a gasp so loud it was bound to be known as the gasp heard ‘round the world. “I’m not driving your truck. If you try to take my car away from me, I will bury you!”

  “We’ll see about the car,” he grumbled, before saying, “You have court Wednesday at ten. And to answer your last question, I’d already put in for vacation for Trish’s wedding, so I was off this weekend, but I just got you back, Freckles, and I want to spend time with you so I might take more time off,” he finished, and I thought that was so damn sweet.

  “I’m starving!” I heard shouted from the hall and I twisted around to see Layla strolling in. Her resemblance to Adam was painfully similar. She was even the same age our child would have been. I immediately blinked the thought away before I broke down into tears.

  “Food is coming right up, Munchkin,” Adam said with a plastered smile on his face. “But since you’re here, why don’t you tell me the score from Monday? I was a little busy and missed the game.”

  Layla's little face scrunched up as if deep in thought.

  "Ummm...I don't remember the numbers, but the Texans kicked Jacksonville's a--"

  "Layla!" Lex scolded in a high-pitched tone and my eyes grew huge. Landyn and Adam chuckled, and I bit my tongue to keep from laughing at the phony innocent expression playing on Layla's face.

  "What? Daddy and Uncle Adam say it all the time. Why can't I?" she pouted and I couldn’t hold my laughter in any longer.

  The rest of the morning was fairly uneventful, and it wasn’t until around three o’clock - the same time the Texans game started - that Adam got the okay to take me back to my apartment. Apparently, little Ms. Layla was a huge Texans fan, and when we left the house, Adam’s brother and his family stayed behind to watch the game.

  I liked them and I really hoped they liked me too. I’d never been one to care what people thought about me, but with Adam’s family, I found myself craving their approval. They were a beautiful family, and seeing how happy they were made me yearn for a family of my own, even though that was out of the question.

  I couldn’t think about that.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Adam Bryant

  I'd been hoping like hell Mia wouldn't be allowed back in her apartment for at least another day, but I knew it'd been too much to hope for. After calling for clearance, I called Johnson and asked if she'd do me a solid, pack up Mia's stuff and bring it to us, but one, Johnson said, "Hell no, I'll help your ass, but that's it,” and two, Mia gave me a look that promised a kick to my nether region if she didn’t get to go back to her apartment herself.

  Problem was, Mia had had too much adrenaline rushing through her system to remember what the place actually looked like and I didn’t want her to see how bad it was.

  “I liked your family a lot," Mia said, thankfully taking my mind off my worries. "Landyn seems really nice and oddly protective of you. Which I don’t quite get since you both appear to be equal in cockiness and size. Lex seems
sweet and protective of you too, and Laura is a precious baby. But that Layla is a riot, and my goodness she looks just like you. So much so, it’s a little eerie.”

  My entire body relaxed at her confirmation like it had longed for her words.

  I glanced at her to see she was already looking me. “Good. I’m glad you liked them, Freckles. I know they liked you too. Trust me, they don’t hold anything back...especially Layla.” I reached over the center console and laced my fingers through hers, and we stayed that way until we got to her apartment.

  “I hate him,” I heard Mia whisper as she took in the first sight of her apartment since seeing it yesterday. It was the same disaster I remembered. “Max had to know they’d come looking for their money or drugs or whatever they were after,” she continued, and at the mention of his name, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

  Max, that piece of shit.

  “Come on, Baby. Let’s get your stuff and get out of here. Just grab what you need. Don't worry about the mess. I'll have someone come take care of it later.”

  She glanced at me quickly, before nodding and walking further into the apartment. She went through the motions of shifting through the debris to pick up what items off the floor I assumed she intended to keep, and then placed them on a coffee table.

  I wanted to get her out of here and I wanted to do it fast so I told her, “Baby, I’m gonna go to the bedroom to gather your clothes. You gonna be all right out here?” She nodded in an involuntary motion, probably not even realizing she was doing it.

  I walked to her and she looked up. I bent and touched her cheek with my fingertips.

  As I walked into her bedroom, heat crept up my neck as fury boiled my blood. It was even worse than the living room and I instantly wondered what would have happened to Mia had I not come back and heard her scream.

  The mattress, blankets and pillows were ripped to shreds. Her dresser drawers were open and sat askew, some were on the floor where they’d landed after being thrown. Clothes and shoes were scattered all over the room. A large plant that must have sat in the corner near the window had been tossed, and dirt covered a large portion of the light carpet.

  I heard her sharp intake of air when she walked into the room behind me and I turned.

  Her eyes were glassy.

  “Why would he do this to me? Why would he involve me in this?” she whispered. She held up her hands to show me what she had unearthed. “I found my laptop on the floor. It’s destroyed.” She threw the pieces on the floor by her side.

  Shit.

  I pulled her into my embrace and her body sagged against mine. “Don’t think about it. It’s over. The important thing is that you’re safe and nothing happened to you.”

  She sighed. “I know. I just hate this and I’m still confused about it.”

  I pulled back slightly to glance down. “What's there to be confused about?" She said she didn’t love him earlier, but her feelings for Max might run deeper than she had let on.

  Did she still want him after all this?

  I knew the answer when her head jerked and her sad eyes met mine.

  “Adam, I still care. I can’t just pretend he was never in my life.” I narrowed my eyes and she took a deep breath. “I don’t know what made him get into this mess, but he’s not a bad person and he cared about me too. I know he did, and that’s what’s so confusing. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him, but I also never want to see him again. Can you understand that?”

  No. No, I couldn't understand that. My jaw hurt from clenching it so tightly because I didn’t like what she had to say. I knew neither one of us could erase the choices we made in the years that were between us - Max being one of them - but I wished we could.

  “I get it, but I don’t fuckin’ like it, Mia. The only woman I ever cared about was you and it pisses me off that you can’t say the same.”

  She frowned and blinked a few times as if her mind couldn't quite register what I just said. When it hit, her body stiffened. I tried, really tried to ready myself for her rebuttal, but I was completely unprepared for what came out of her mouth.

  “I don’t want to fight with you, especially right now, but you are such a jerk,” she hissed. “Caring for someone isn’t the same as loving someone, so don’t mistake the two. I said I cared what happened to Max, that’s it. Don’t try to make me feel like a shitty person, and don't pretend you didn’t care about anyone else other than me. I know it’s not true and so do you. Had you said love, I might have believed you, but even that’s a stretch after all this time. You care about your little stripper enough that she’s still in your life, which by the way, I’m not sure I’ll ever be okay with. While you were changing her tires and playing her handyman, I had to do all that same shit for myself. After Cole left, I dated a couple other guys, but I really had no one until Max.”

  Goddamn it! I didn't want to hear this shit.

  "You care about your friend Trish, which by the expression on your face every time her name is mentioned, I know she was something more. And God only knows how many other female friends you care about.”

  "Mia, you can stop now," I growled.

  “No. We can’t take back the past, it’s there and it happened, but if you want me to consider the possibility of working things out with you, don’t purposely make me feel guilty for things I had no control over. I’ll try to show you the same courtesy. We both know I have plenty to throw in your face. If you can’t do that, I have no problem going somewhere else. I’ve lived without you this long. I have no problem living my life without you ‘til the end. Now excuse me, I have shit to pack. You can let me know what you decide when I’m done.”

  She moved past me like a cold breeze and I had no other choice but to let her go. I was too dumbfounded to move. Stunned speechless. Absolutely nothing would come out of my mouth, probably because I had no idea what to say, but I did know I needed a two-by-four over the head.

  Had I been trying to hurt her purposely?

  Yes.

  As much as I wanted her back, I was still angry that she’d moved on at all. I was trying to make her feel bad by throwing the past in her face even though I knew it wasn’t her fault. But there were things that I still needed to understand myself. She hadn't been the only one hurt in this.

  I turned.

  She was facing away and she knelt on the floor to gather clothes. When I spoke, I watched her body go rigid. “Why did you ask for the divorce, Mia?”

  “Excuse me?” she responded with a question as she twisted to look at me.

  “The divorce. As much as I want you back, I think I resent you for wanting to give up. I didn’t touch another woman until you asked me for the divorce.” Her shoulders stiffened. “Even though it’d already been over a year, I still held out hope that you’d come back. When you asked me for the divorce, I hated you. I knew I needed to move on, but I still couldn’t bring myself to let you go. When I got those papers, I never felt more like a fuckin’ failure in my life. Was it that easy for you to give up?”

  “That easy?” she repeated in a breathy, disbelieving whisper as her eyes strained to see, like she was trying to get a glimpse inside of my soul. I held firm, gave nothing away and her eyes closed so slowly I could feel her pain. They stayed that way for a while and when they opened, they were filled with tears I knew she was trying hard to hold back.

  “You have absolutely no idea how much I loved you, do you?” she whispered.

  I slammed my eyes shut and rubbed a hand down my face.

  I did know. I was just an idiot.

  “I never wanted a divorce, Adam,” she started, her voice a little stronger. “But telling you I did was the only excuse I could think of to see you again…at least without risking humiliation. I thought you cheated and moved on from me, remember? I would have felt like a fool begging you to take me back after what I thought you did. I wanted you to fight for me, but you didn’t. Instead, you looked me dead in the eye, called me a bitch and walked
away from me like I never existed. Of course I went through with filing for divorce after that. I could only take so much rejection in my life.”

  I didn’t say anything. I stared at her sitting on the floor, still in my clothes, looking so beautiful, so sad, so honest, so frustrated, and so…mine. She'd always been mine. I felt sick to my stomach thinking about all the time we'd missed out on because I hadn't been able to get my shit together.

  I still remembered the day she asked for the divorce like it happened yesterday. Hell, every cup of coffee I drank reminded me of that day. I remembered her face perfectly when she'd asked if I could let her go "just like that".

  "Freckles, come here," I ordered in a voice that was soft, yet still commanded her to obey, but like the hardheaded woman my Mia was, I got resistance. She didn't move a muscle, and her glare should have burned a hole through my skull.

  Surprisingly, this made me happy. I expected nothing less from my little redheaded terrorist.

  "No, I'm staying right here. You stay over there. While you're figuring out more ways to be an asshole, I have things to do so I can get out of here. I'll talk to the leasing office and see if I can move into another apartment while I figure out how I'm going to break my lease...and pay for the damage--"

  "Fine," I cut her off and her eyes widened when I moved. I saw her chest rise and stop as she held her breath. I lifted her face, bent at the knees and put my face in hers before taking her mouth with fierce need. The kiss was quick and hard, telling her exactly how I felt. When I lifted my head, her pink lips were swollen and her dark green eyes burned with desire...or fury.

  "I fucked up…again, and I’m sorry. You were right; I was trying to hurt you because I was angry. I’m still angry, but not at you, at the decisions we made. It’s only been two days and thinking about how much time we’ve missed out on together frustrates me more than you’ll even know. If something from the past comes up again, we’ll talk it out; we’ll work it out, but I won’t throw it in your face and you're not staying anywhere else but with me. No more about the past, agreed?"