by Tri Amutia
Chapter 19
The Decision and The Beach Trip Part I
I've never saw Ryan again after lunch. Camila, who I assumed had a relationship with him, didn't seem affected with Ryan's absence. I knew Camila never tied herself with one man, so I guessed with Ryan going back to New York didn't bother her even the slightest. I didn't ask Ryan about their relationship, because I've never been interested in other people's business. Maybe the truth will reveal itself in time.
Joshua and I began the transition phase of our relationship. Rather than guessing around or over reacting on something that's completely unnecessary, we chose to talk about lots of things. His shifts in the hospital were still bad and we rarely had time even for just going out to the grocery together. Sometimes we just talked in bed, either his or mine, until we both fall asleep. I was only able to sleep alone for one night. And then the next night, I sheepishly knocked his bedroom door and asking his permission to sleep in his room. I've never spoke about Natalia anymore and Joshua just told me that Natalia sometimes called him and texted him, but he never answered back. I was supposed to be glad, but somehow I felt it was just the beginning of the next step in our relationship.
As for his proposal, I still haven't given him my answer and Joshua never mentioned it again. It looked like he knew I will accept his proposal anyway and it was only a matter of time when I did say yes. The hospital didn't give the decision about Joshua's scholarship while Mr. Smith didn't ask me again about my answer to his offer. Everything was hanging now.
Today was Wednesday, one week after the gala fiasco, and I went home greeted by Joshua in our apartment. I didn't know how he managed to come home early, for he said once he couldn't change his shift. But, I guessed he must have found his own way.
"I need to talk to you," He said to me after I had my shower and changed my clothes. His expression was wary. Mix of disappointment, but...hopeful?
"O...kay..." I managed to say.
Joshua held my hand and we sat at the living room couch. I was getting worried and anxious. Did it have to do with the hospital's decision? Did they approve it? Or did they were not approve it? I gulped.
"What is it?" I asked nervously.
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. I lived long enough with him to know he often did that if he was nervous.
"Joshua?"
He closed his eyes briefly before opened it again and looked at me. "I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?"
I blinked several times. "Well...depends on what situation is involved to the news."
He chuckled. "Clever answer."
I smiled slightly when I saw him relaxed even for a while.
He sighed again and seemed to be thinking.
I couldn't take it anymore. "Joshua, please tell me what's wrong."
He took a deep breath before answering, "Thehospitalagreedwithmyterms."
He was speaking so fast that I couldn't catch what he was saying. "Wait...wait...will you please speak more slowly. I don't understand what you were saying."
"Oh...sorry," He blushed lightly and it was a cute thing to see. He held my hands and looked deep to my eyes. I couldn't remove my gaze from his green eyes. "The hospital...they agreed to transfer my scholarship to England if I wanted to, but they said the process will take two years to do that."
I gaped at him. "W-what?"
"I can move with you to England, but I'm afraid we can't see each other often for two years."
My breathing was getting shallow. I've never pictured this scenario before in my mind. I only imagined the decision will be take it or leave it. Why did the process taking so long? Damn regulations!
If I did go to England, it meant Joshua and I will have this kind of long distance relationship for the next two years and if I choose to stay, Joshua will stay here and still have his scholarship. But, if I stay what will become with my job? My co-workers must be thinking that I'm crazy to pass this opportunity, but I couldn't do it if I must stay far away from Joshua. Not to mention the Natalia thing. Besides I wanted to be with him.
'And the last thing I want to say is please, just consider the offer, Abby. This chance will not come twice. I know you must be thinking about Joshua too, but I'm sure he already has his own plan to stay with you.'
Ryan's words replayed in my mind. I knew this is one time opportunity and I must wait for a long time for a chance like this. But, even if I had to wait, it will come eventually. As for Joshua, the offer from the hospital will never come twice.
"I've told you before, Abby," He said when I didn't respond, "I'll do anything to stay with you. I can manage my schedule and therefore I can visit you in England. You don't have to be worry, dear."
No, I said to myself. I couldn't make him do that. I could go to England anytime or get my transfer in another chance, but his opportunity will never come twice. I've already had the job of my dreams and I wanted to give the same thing to my...fiancé. It was getting harder to cover my feelings in front of him, but I couldn't find the courage to say the words to him...yet.
I felt he caressed my cheek and I looked up to see his face. "What do you think?" He whispered. His face was still guarded and worried.
I composed my face and said the words, "No."
He blinked several times and seemed confused. "No?"
No, there was no way I live apart from him. I knew my answer. "No," I repeated my word earlier. "I will stay here. I'm not going to England," I made my decision.
Joshua's hand dropped from my face. "Abby, you can't do that."
"Yes, I can," I said stubbornly.
"I told you I'll be damned if I take your job from you."
"You are not taking my job from me, Joshua," I said sternly. "Will you please listen to me?"
He looked at me for a moment before nodded slowly.
I sighed and took both of his hands to mine. We stared at each other. "I've already had my job, Joshua. I love my job and I give myself into it, just like you said. This transfer to England...thing...someday the chance will come back to me, but what happened to you is different."
I paused to see his reaction.
He still looked at me in guarded expression.
"This opportunity will never come twice and the most important thing is this is your dream. I can't take it away from you. I'll be damned if I did that," I quoted his words earlier.
"But, what about your job?" He asked me with pained expression.
I shrugged. "I'm sure Mr. Smith can think something else. Probably, I won't be a junior editor anymore."
Joshua exhaled and his shoulders slumped. He still looked sad.
I stroked his hair. "Hey, you should be happy."
He scoffed. "How could I be happy if I let my fiancée's opportunity passed away in front of her eyes? I'm asking too much from you."
I shivered when he said the word 'fiancée'. I smiled grimly. "You're not asking anything from me, Joshua. I want to do this for you. I told you my opportunity will come in due time, but yours is a rare thing. We could move to England if you wanted to after you finished your pediatric degree."
His eyes were smoldering instantly and I froze in my seat.
"We could move to England...after you marry me."
I sat still, stunned.
For a brief second, we were just staring at each other before I shook my head to gain my thoughts back. "We'll see," I managed to say.
He smirked. "Yes, I will."
I made a face. "Of course you will."
He laughed and pulled my body to him. I smiled when I leaned my head to his chest. His amazing scent calmed me instantly like always. For a moment, I just enjoyed the silence with the sound of his heart beating.
"Abby?"
"Hmmm?"
"Do you remember when you told me you still had two days off from your boss?"
I furrowed my eyebrows and leaned away to look at him. "Yes," I answered cautiously. What did he have in mind?
He grinned. "What w
ill you say if we had a trip to Florida this weekend?"
I gaped at him. "W-what?"
"You can ask your day off just one day on Friday. We leave early in the morning and spend our time there until Sunday afternoon," He continued his plan, ignoring my dumbfounded expression.
I swallowed hard. "B-but, you told me you can't ask for-"
"Don't worry about that," He interjected. "I can deal with my schedule."
I bit my lip. "Why suddenly you wanted to go to Florida anyway?"
He smirked and crawled on the couch and I instinctively scooted back until my back was pressed against the armchair of the couch. His eyes glinted mischievously and some parts from my body liked this side of Joshua. My heart beat turned erratic when his face was inches from mine.
"First, I want to spend my alone time with my fiancée. Second, I know how much you love the beach. Third, I want to spend my time with you with no interference at all, not from work or even family. I want to have you for myself and the fifth, because I'm getting sick and tired with this town."
I blinked several times. Is this man for real?
He began to kiss my cheek and up to my eyebrows.
Damn it!
He knew I couldn't resist him if he started to do that. He continued to kiss my face while I fought hard to keep my thoughts coherent.
"So, what do you say, dear?" He whispered in my ear and I shivered. His voice was low and husky.
I'll be damned if I resisted him.
I titled my head to look at him. I didn't need words to answer his question. I pulled him down and captured his lips to mine. It had been a while since we share our intense kiss. With our hectic schedule and the tension involved Natalia, this whole week we were just share a chaste kiss, but never a true kiss.
I wrapped my arms to his neck while Joshua wrapped his arm on my waist. Our tongues battled, soft moans escaped from both our lips and my body was lit with the familiar fire again. For a brief second, I didn't mind if he takes me on the couch right now.
Surprisingly, it was Joshua who broke the kiss first and when I thought it was over, he pulled me up into the sitting position. His back was pressed on the couch while I was straddling him. We were both panting and my hand still clutched his neck while his hand still on my waist. I looked into his dark eyes.
"Abby...we...have...to...stop now, baby...I ...don't...want to...hurt you," He managed to say between his breath.
I stroked his cheek and he closed his eyes briefly before opened it again. "I don't want to stop," I said to him in low voice. My other hand was playing with his hair now.
"Please...Abby...I don't want to do something...that made you regret...in the end," He said again between his haggard breathing.
I took deep breaths and leaned my forehead to his. We stayed still until we could control our breathing. It was funny to see that I was the one who pushed him for the physical step. The reason he stopped for both of us made me realize something. He really did care for me and my heart clenched painfully. I made a promise to myself to enjoy my trip this weekend with him.
I smiled and leaned away to look into his eyes. The hazel color that I loved so much looked back at me with such intensity. "Let's go to Florida," I said to him.
He chuckled and kissed my forehead.
~O~
Joshua and I spent the night arranging the plan for our beach trip. We decided to stay at a beach house owned by his family and drove with his car to the airport. I never knew The Walshs had a beach house, but with the last impression from their house when I visited there I shouldn't be surprised. We arranged our time to do the grocery tomorrow afternoon after we both home from work. We also agreed to keep our cell phone with us in case of emergency, but we kept it in silent mode.
I went to work in the next day and walked straight to Mr. Smith's office. I contemplated to myself several times during the journey to my office that I'll ask for my day off personally to him and also told him about my decision. I was sure he won't be too happy, but again this was my decision.
I walked out from the elevator after the 'ding' sound to Mr. Smith's secretary desk. Marianne, the girl with light brown hair and light brown eyes raised her head when she saw me walked to her desk. She smiled genuinely.
"Good morning, Ms. Bennett. How may I help you?"
I smiled. "Good morning, Miss Philips. I would like to meet Mr. Smith, please."
"I'll go check on him, then. Will you please have a seat?" She gestured to the chairs in the lounge.
I nodded. "Thank you."
I turned around and walked to the nearest chair while I heard Marianne timidly call Mr. Smith and informed him that I was here and asked permission to see him. I bit my lip and almost bounced in my seat because of my nervousness. The prospect of having a beach trip with Joshua did a poor job to ease my erratic heartbeat. Joshua assured me that I'll get my day off and I told him that I'll tell my boss about my decision. He felt guilty for making me not accepting the offer, but I told him I couldn't live apart from him. Joshua didn't ask the reason why I choose to stay, but I think he already knew that I loved him.
"You may see Mr. Smith now, Ms. Bennett." Marianne's voice halted my daydream.
I cleared my throat and rose from my seat. "Thank you, Ms. Philips."
She nodded and smiled while I walked into the elegant office. I opened the large mahogany door and my boss was smiling when he saw me.
"Ms. Bennett. What a surprise. Please, have a seat."
I smiled awkwardly and sat on the chair across from him. "Good morning, sir. I'm sorry if I interrupted your time."
My boss waved his hand. "It's not a big deal. So, is there something that you want to say to me, Ms. Bennett?" His eyes glistened knowingly.
I clenched my fists in my lap and prayed silently this will going to work. I really want to do this for Joshua. "I...would like to take one of my two extra days off, sir." I bit my lip unconsciously.
Mr. Smith grinned. "I've told you before, Ms. Bennett; it was your decision when you will use it. Are you sure you're going to use just one?"
I nodded. "Yes, sir. I will take a day off tomorrow if I may."
He chuckled. "Of course you may. You can use it tomorrow."
I breathed a sigh of relief. All right, phase one is complete.
"Anything else?"
I took a deep breath. Okay, on to the hard part.
"I decided not to accept the offer in England, sir."
Silence.
Please, God, just please don't let him angry with me. I prayed silently.
"May I know why, Ms. Bennett?" He asked.
I swallowed hard. "My...fiancé...has a scholarship for his pediatric degree from his hospital and he had every intention to move along with me to England if I decided to go there." I blushed slightly.
I felt embarrassed to tell my boss a bit about my personal life, but I knew I must tell him. Besides this was the part of why I chose not to accept the offer.
"Go on," He told me.
I twisted my hands nervously. "But, he needs to wait for two more years to do that and," I sighed, "I know it's his dream to become a pediatrician and I don't want to take it away from him. So, I decided to stay here."
I bit my lip.
Mr. Smith looked at me thoughtfully. "I see your point, Ms. Bennett. I must say I'm not too happy with your decision, but there's nothing I can do about it."
He sighed while I still sat there nervously.
"I'm considering transferring you to New York," He paused and I almost squealed happily, but held myself when I saw his expression. "But, apparently Mr. Adams already caused a bad impression here, so I can't take a risk to transfer you there. You're too valuable for us, Ms. Bennett."
I slumped slightly.
"But," He said again with more cheerful tone. "I can give you higher position if you decided to stay here. I'm not giving you my final decision yet. This book launching already caused a mess in this office."
I held myself not to laugh. The
next book launching for Mrs. McLane was really a chaos. Everything was ready for this weekend when suddenly she received news from her family in Slovakia that her grandmother is sick. She asked the event to be canceled for the next week and it leaved our office in a terrible schedule.
"I will talk to you again after the book launching was over, Ms. Bennett. Thank you for your presence this morning. Enjoy your day off tomorrow," He said again to me and smiled.
I smiled back and nodded. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Smith. Have a nice day." I rose from my seat and walked to the huge door.
"Oh, Ms. Bennett," Mr. Smith called me again before I could open the door.
I turned around to face him and he smiled genuinely at me. "I hope your fiancé realizes how special you are. He has to be smart to keep you here."
I laughed lightly. "I'll tell him, Mr. Smith. Thank you."
He nodded again and I opened the door. I walked out from the office and said my thank you to Marianne. I smiled to myself as I walked back to my booth. Mr. Smith was right, though. Joshua was smart enough to keep me here.
I sat in my chair while I was arrived on my booth. I took deep breaths and picked up my desk phone. I promised Joshua to call him and told him about Mr. Smith's opinion. I pressed his number on the buttons and waited the dial tone to ring four times before he answered his phone.
"Hello."
I smiled when I heard his voice. "Hello there, handsome."
He chuckled and I grinned happily. "Oh, so this is my beautiful fiancée. Are you busy now?"
I twisted my fingers with the phone cables. "No, not yet. Where are you? Why do they allow letting your cell on?"
"I'm at the employee's lounge now. I'm waiting for your call."
"I see."
"Any news?"
I sighed. "Mr. Smith gave me my day off." I think I must give him the good news first.
"That's great. Anything else?"
"I've already told Mr. Smith about my decision and as I expected he was not too happy about that. He considered giving me a higher position here, though."
"Really?"
I rubbed my temple. "Yeah, he said so."