by Tri Amutia
My eyes widened. "You mean...you kept this ring all the time?" I asked in amusement.
He chuckled and kissed my forehead. I lay back on my pillow. "Everything is worth it, Abby. I told you I will wait for you."
I nodded.
"Um...my dear?"
"Yes?"
"What about our wedding? Have you ever thought about that?"
I froze.
My heart beat turned erratic when I heard he mentioned about the wedding. I knew he won't wait for another year to marry me and I had to deal with wedding preparation and also the..uhm...wedding night.
"Abby?"
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. I looked over to the ceiling. "I don't know about that. I've seen my mom's wedding with Steven and it was nothing to me. I mean, wedding and marriage is the last thing on my list. I never had an ideal wedding or a dream wedding. I just thought when the minister said the words, you are married and you are a wife."
That was true. I had never dream to have a perfect wedding, not until Joshua came along and reminded me about our 'engagement'.
I felt the mattress shifted and the next thing I knew Joshua was hovering me. I shivered and the warm feeling surged into my core.
"I can make a different wedding for you, Abby. It doesn't have to be big or extravagant, but you will never forget it. Besides, you agreed to marry me since you were six years old," He smirked.
I rolled my eyes and he chuckled. "That's right and I'm engaged for 19 years. Unbelievable!" I said sarcastically.
He smiled and started to kiss me. As always, his kisses were so good and I knotted my fingers to his hair again. This time there was a difference between our kiss. This time I could feel both of our love from the kiss. Our kisses were getting deep and passionate. Joshua pulled me into sitting position and we were both panting. We looked at each other lovingly before he attacked my lips again. His fingers knotted in my hair while I helplessly clutched to his neck. A strange feeling crept to my body.
I wanted more!
I gasped and gently pushed him away. I put my hands on his chest and tried to control my breathing. "Joshua, please, don't..." I said weakly.
He tried to control his breathing too and enveloped me on a hug. "I won't, Abby. You have to trust me."
Trust him?
My eyes widened when I realized something. A realization hit me like an epiphany. I knew why I didn't say I love him yet. I still didn't trust him completely. Some part of my brain always told me that he is bad and he will hurt me someday; my conscious part trying to protect myself from being hurt by not telling him that I love him.
"Come on. It's late. Let's go to sleep," He whispered and kissed my temple.
I smiled slightly and leaned my head to his chest. I was staying awake for a moment until I heard Joshua steady breathing. He must have been fallen asleep now. I raised my head and lay back on my pillow. I watched his peaceful face and his chest rose up and down along with his breathing.
Slowly, I stroked his hair and he leaned to my touch. I smiled again; even when he slept, he knew when I touched him. I kissed his temple and whispered, "I want to trust you, Joshua. Sweet dreams."
I lay back on the pillow and turned my body to face him. I fell asleep with Joshua's breathing lulled me into the deep slumber.
~O~
"Oh, honey, that's wonderful. Congratulations! Did you already set the date?" My mom asked me when I called her in the morning about my engagement.
I scratched my head and grimaced. "Um...no, Mom. Not yet. But, it's not a long engagement, I think."
"Hmmm..." She sounded to be thinking. "Well, just let me know, honey. So, you're still being safe, aren't you?"
My eyes widened. "Mom!" I hissed.
Joshua popped his head from the kitchen and looked at me curiously. He was cooking our brunch while I volunteered myself to call my family first and told them about the engagement.
I grimaced sheepishly while he smirked. I rolled my eyes when he disappeared into the kitchen.
My mom giggled. "Just kidding, Abby. I know you still keeping yourself for your wedding night, right? And speaking of that, have you thought about that?"
I groaned. "Oh, please..." This was much worse than the first 'talk' in my office.
"It's your wedding night, Abby," My mom continued to rant, oblivious with my discomfort. "You can ask me or maybe learn from some other resources."
I was positive my face was red right now. "Mom...can we...can we not talk about that, please?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable.
She laughed lightly. "Sorry. I'm just happy that my daughter is going to get married. Congratulations, honey. Give Joshua my best wishes, all right? I have to go. Bye, honey."
I smiled grimly. "Bye, Mom." I pressed the end button on my BlackBerry and exhaled.
I opened my phone book and searched for my dad's home number at Long Beach. I was just testing the water; he usually went fishing with Ethan's dad. I bit my lip when I heard the dial tone. It was ringed three times before I heard my dad's gruff voice.
"Jason Bennett."
I smiled. "Hi, Dad."
"Abby! Hi, honey. How are you? Your mom said you are in Florida with Joshua."
I rolled my eyes. Trust my mom not to tell my dad was a big mistake. "Yeah, we are leaving back to Seattle in the afternoon, though. How are you, Dad?"
"Same old, Abby. I was just about to go fishing with Bobby. You call in the right time."
"Wow, lucky me," I said nervously and I bit my lip.
"So, is there any particular reason for you to call your old man?" My dad asked.
I took a deep breath. "Joshua proposed to me."
My dad laughed lightly. "It's about time, Abby. That didn't surprise me. Did you say yes?"
I smiled slightly. "Yes, I did."
"Honey, that's wonderful. Hey, is Joshua with you now? I want to speak with him."
I raised my eyebrows. "You're not going to shoot him, are you?" I remembered my dad used to say he will shoot all the irresponsible boys who set their eyes on me when I was older enough to date.
He chuckled. "Of course not, Abby. He makes you happy, doesn't he?"
I laughed nervously. "Yeah, he does."
"Good! Now, let me speak to him."
"Ok!"
I rose from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Joshua was still busy with the stove and the sight warmed my heart. I just hoped he still cook for me after we were married.
"Joshua!" I called him and he turned off the stove when he heard my voice.
"Yes, love?" He asked me.
"Um...my dad wants to talk with you," I said in low voice.
He raised his eyebrows and took my BlackBerry from my hand. I was expecting to see him walked from the kitchen and answered the phone, but he just stood next to me and wrapped his free hand to my waist while his other hand put the phone to his ear.
"Hello, Jason...I'm good, thank you. How about you...?" He chuckled. "Yes, I proposed to her yesterday and she said yes...Thank you, Jason...No, we haven't set the date yet...Yes, and you have my word...Bye, Jason." He pressed the end button and handed me my phone back while I was looking at him curiously.
"Well...what did he say?"
He pursed his lips. "He gave me his blessings, of course. That's the most important thing. Even if he didn't, I could ask my dad to help me about that. And he just asked me to take care of you." And then he looked at me deeply. "Which I will do it with all that I am."
I shivered. I asked to myself again, is this man for real?
He grinned and pulled me to follow him. I walked obediently and we sat together on the couch in the living room. He grabbed his cell phone from the desk and I instantly knew what he would do. I blushed slightly. Joshua pressed a call button and put the phone into loudspeaker. I heard the dial tone ringed two times before a man's voice answered the phone.
"Hello."
"Hi, Dad," Joshua greeted him.
I heard William chuckle. "Ah, I do have a son afte
r all."
Joshua rolled his eyes and I giggled. He must have been told his dad not to disturb us while we were here. "That's funny, Dad. Thank you."
William laughed. "So, did you enjoy your weekend? How's Abby?"
My heart felt warmer when I heard William was asking for me. I once had a doubt Joshua's parents loved me because they had a plan to pair Joshua with...her.
Joshua chuckled. He hugged me tighter. "Of course I enjoyed my weekend with Abby. As for her, she really loves the house, Dad."
"Well, that's good. Are you still in Florida now?"
"Yes, Dad. We will return to Seattle in the afternoon."
"All right. Be careful on your way home, son."
"I will, Dad." Joshua looked at me briefly before he cleared his throat. "Um...Dad, I want to give you some news."
"News?"
"Yes."
"Let's hear it."
Joshua took a deep breath. "Abby and I are getting married."
"Joshua! That's wonderful," William said happily. "It's about time. So, let me guess now. Is Abby sitting next to you?"
I blushed while Joshua chuckled. "You know me too well, Dad."
William laughed. "Hi, Abby."
I gulped. "Er...hi, William."
He chuckled when he sensed the nervousness from my voice. "It's all right, Abby. I know Joshua will tell me the news with you by his side. I know him well."
I giggled when I saw Joshua rolled his eyes.
"Congratulations on your engagement, Abby. It's an honor for us to have you in the family. Joshua, did you give her the ring?"
He snorted. "Of course I did, Dad. What makes you think that I didn't?"
"Hmmmm...I don't know. Perhaps you were too happy and forgot to put the ring on her finger."
I burst out laughing while Joshua was blushing.
"Oh...you forgot? Joshua!"
"Oh, please, Dad. It's not that bad, all right."
I stifled my laugh and buried my face to his chest. His scent calmed my mood again and I knew I could do this forever with him after we were married and maybe without our clothes on.
I blushed.
Focus, Abby!
"Once again congratulations to both of you. We'll visit you as soon as we can in Seattle. Did you already set the date?"
Joshua cleared his throat. "No, not yet, Dad." He ran his hand through his hair. "Sorry, Dad, but we need to pack now. I'll call you back. Say hi to mom from both of us."
"All right. Be careful. Congratulations to both of you. Bye, son."
"Bye, Dad."
~O~
We ate our brunch in front of the plasma TV after having our calls to our family. I reminded myself to call Stella and Melinda when we arrived back in Seattle. We watched some Sunday shows until we were finished. We began to pack our bags to return to Seattle. I sighed sadly when I realized we will be back to our schedule and our work. I didn't know when I could spend my alone time with Joshua again; just the two of us. I paused from packing my bag when I saw the ocean from the window. I glanced to Joshua who was busy putting the remains of our grocery shopping to be brought back to Seattle. I chewed my bottom lip and walked to the back door. I sat on the steps and pulled my knees to my chest. I wrapped my knees with my arms and put my chin between them. I closed my eyes and listening to the sound of waves and the wind. My mind wandered to all the issues that surrounded my wedding plans.
Wedding preparations, of course.
Our living arrangements, no doubt.
Our jobs, absolutely.
Our past stories, definitely.
And of course...my trust for him.
I opened my eyes. How could I marry him if I didn't trust him yet? But, if I were looking back to our relationship history, I didn't love him when we started to live together. Is it possible that I could trust him after we were married? I do hope so. I wanted him to know that I love him; and of course not from my sleep talking. I closed my eyes again when I felt the wind blew on my face. I will miss this place.
It seemed like hours when I felt someone was sitting next to me. I opened my eyes and turned my head to see Joshua. He looked at me and furrowed his eyebrows.
"Abby, are you all right?"
I smiled grimly and scooted closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head to his chest. It had become a habit for me to do that. I felt safe when I hugged him like that. Joshua kissed the top of my head and leaned his head on mine.
"I will miss this place," I said in low voice.
He sighed. "We can come back here anytime we want. Or...maybe...we could have our...honeymoon...here."
I stiffened slightly before released my tensed posture. Nothing could even better than that. I smiled. "Yeah, that would be a great idea."
"Really?" He asked in surprise.
I chuckled. "Of course. I'd love to spend my honeymoon here."
A strange feeling crept into my chest when I imagined what we could do on our honeymoon. My stomach twisted in anticipation. Somehow I had a feeling Joshua will never let me out from the house...or maybe from bed. I shivered again and closed my eyes. My thoughts were no longer coherent.
He kissed my head again. "Anything for you, dear."
I opened my eyes and saw the ocean one last time before I went back to Seattle.
Everything was perfect.
But, I should have known better.
Perfect moments were always risky.
And I had to ready for that.
Chapter 24
The Bad Day and The Words
"Abby, congratulations!" Stella squealed happily when I called her after we arrived in Seattle. I was unpacking my bag in my room while Joshua did the same in his room. I used this opportunity to call her before we both went to sleep.
I smiled. "Thank you, Stella."
"So, did you set the date yet?"
I played with a strand of my hair. "Um...no, not yet. But, it won't be long, though. Besides I want to ask you for a favor," I bit my lip. I didn't have much experience about dresses and I thought Stella could help me.
Stella giggled. "Don't worry, Abby. I can take a few days off to take care of your wedding."
I gaped at her. "How did you know?" I started to believe Stella did have a premonition. I planned to ask her to help me for the preparation.
She giggled again. "I can see, remember? Don't worry. I already imagine what kind of dress that suits you and maybe the theme or the flowers."
I winced. "I leave it to you, then."
"Thank you, Abby. I won't let you down."
I chuckled. Actually I had another plan for Stella and it surprised me she didn't mention it. I thought she had a premonition. "Of course you do. Besides, you need to look for the perfect bridesmaid dress too."
"Say that again?" She asked in surprise tone.
I laughed lightly. "Bridesmaid dress. You need one, Stella."
Silence.
And then I heard a high pitch from the other line and I put a distance between my BlackBerry and my ear. Wow, she did have a high pitch.
"Oh, Abby...Abby...thank you. Of course I will be your bridesmaid. Hey, have you ever thought to have bridal shower?"
I furrowed my eyebrows. "What shower?" I remembered my mom didn't have that kind of event before her wedding with Steven.
Stella giggled again. "Bridal shower, silly girl. It's like an event with close friends with simple games and exchanged gifts. Things like that."
I grimaced. "I don't have many friends here."
"Oh, please, Abby. If you invited your friends from Long Beach, you could have bridal shower days before the wedding. It will be fun. Trust me."
I sighed. "Whatever you say, Stella. Just not too extravagant, all right."
She scoffed. "I can't believe you'll say that. It's your bridal shower. One time in your life. Don't you want to make it special?"
I raised my eyebrows. I thought I was the one who will get married, but she was the one who turned to the excitement mode. "Stella
, I just want everything to be simple. That's all." And then I smirked. "How about you? When will Evan drag you to the altar?"
"Uh...um...well..."
I burst out laughing while she cursed under her breath.
"I can't believe you never told me about that," I told her, pretending to be angry. Joshua told me on our way home to Seattle that Evan already proposed to Stella before we had our trip to Seattle.
"I'm sorry. I really want to tell you, Abby. Well...Joshua told Evan that he didn't want any interference when you both had the holiday. So, I planned to tell you tonight, but I guessed Joshua proposed to you while you both in Florida, right? So, you got me this time."
I chuckled lightly. "That's ok. I understand. Congratulations to your engagement too, then. I think we both are engaged with madmen."
Stella giggled. "Yeah, but we love them nonetheless."
I went rigid. My heart turned erratic. This was the most critical issue for me and I knew I must solve this problem immediately.
"Abby? Are you still there?"
I blinked several times and cleared my throat. "Em...yeah. Sorry.."
"What's wrong? Did I say something that upset you?"
I sighed and rubbed my temple. "I don't know what happened to me, Stella. I love Joshua, I really do, but I've always felt I couldn't trust him that easily. Is that wrong?"
"Well..." My best friend paused for a moment before continued, "No, it's not wrong. I understand your position. You hated him when you were in high school and you left Long Beach with a bad memory about him. And then he was there in your life again, completely turned into a different person from your high school time and said that he loved you and you agreed to become his wife when you both were six years old. Now, you love him, but some parts of you didn't fully trust him yet."
I smiled grimly. She was really my best friend.
Stella sighed. "Why don't you learn to trust him, Abby? Just slowly. It will be all right. He already did lots of things for you. Can't you just let the cautious part from your brain to slip a little bit?"
I sighed. "It's not easy, Stella."
"I know that, Abby. It's not easy to fall in love with someone that you hate once either, but you managed it. Why don't you do the same with your trust for him?"