by Tri Amutia
I smirked. "You should have become a psychologist, Stella. You choose the wrong career."
She laughed in her chiding tone. "Psychologist is my side job. I prefer to be a designer."
I laughed too.
~O~
"Abby, I'm so happy for you. Congratulations. So, when is the happy occasion?" Melinda asked me.
I chuckled. "We haven't set the date yet. What about you?"
She laughed. "As you know that I already sent the invitation online, but apparently we had some last minute decisions, so our wedding is postponed for another week."
"Oh, I'm sorry," I still remembered Melinda's wedding with Brian this weekend on Sunday afternoon. Joshua and I already planned to attend too, but I guessed we had to re-schedule everything again.
"Don't worry. It's not a big deal. Will you be here with Joshua?"
"Of course. I'll call you back next week," I promised her.
Melinda giggled. "I know. Congratulations, Abby. Um...sorry...my cousins are going to bed now and I have to babysit them. Say hi to Joshua from me, okay?"
I chuckled. Melinda has lots of cousins; that's why she's good with kids. Perhaps I needed to learn from her too. "Okay, Mel. Bye."
"Bye, Abby."
~O~
I went to work on Monday morning with happy mode, but apparently it didn't last long. I started to work with Kelly's manuscripts and my office was still busy preparing for the book launching this weekend. I really hoped it won't be delayed anymore or my bosses will turn to their berserk mode and that was the last thing I wanted to see.
I was busy looking through Kelly's script when Camila popped her head to my cubicle. "Hey, can I borrow your scissors?"
I grabbed my stationery kit and gave her the scissor without looking away from the computer screen. Suddenly, she held my left hand and I instinctively looked at her. She looked over my engagement ring and my heart sped up.
Oh, crap!
"That's a beautiful ring," She said flatly.
I snatched my hand back and turned my head to the computer. "Yes, it is."
"I always wonder why you could get into a serious relationship very fast. You never dated and then suddenly you're engaged to a handsome man. What tricks do you have there, Bennett?"
I clenched my jaw and took a deep breath. This is Monday morning for God's sake. Should I pass this week with a bad start? This woman really annoyed me.
"I don't know how Joshua could love you. You barely have your own life outside this office."
I turned my head to see her and anger flashed to my body. I stood from my seat and approached her. Camila backed up to my cubicle wall. "Why won't you take care your own problems, Stevenson? I never come to your personal life, so you better do the same thing. If you want to know why Joshua could love me, why don't you ask him?"
Camila blinked several times and then hurried up to escape from my cubicle. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose; another habit that I learned from Joshua. I walked back to my chair and I lost all of my will to work in my computer.
I hastily grabbed my bag and left my office. I drove with my car and apparently my will has its own accord because suddenly I parked in the hospital's parking lot. I blinked several times. Wow, how did I get here? I scratched my head and unbuckled my seat belt when I saw someone who was familiar walked outside from the ER. I froze instantly. I recognized that person. I couldn't forget the last time I saw...her.
It was Natalia.
I furrowed my eyebrows. What is she in the hospital? Did she come here to meet Joshua? Or did she have something to do with her father's business? How come Joshua never told me about this? I clutched the steering wheel while I followed Natalia's movements to a black Mercedes.
Rich girl, no doubt!
She didn't see me because I was parked far enough from her car and besides who will be interested to see who drove this old sedan anyway? I sat there until the black Mercedes disappeared from my sight. I released my grip from the steering wheel and my fingers were red from how hard I clutched before. I slumped in my seat. The anger and jealousy took control of my body. I took deep breaths and leaned my head to the seat. I'm in a bad mood instantly and I knew I couldn't work with this condition nor forced myself to see Joshua. I needed to think clearly.
I pulled out my BlackBerry and dialed my office. I told Mr. Smith that I had a meeting with my author and perhaps it will take all day long. My boss gave me his permission and I was surprised I could do a white lie today. If I forced myself to work, it won't do any good for me either.
I quickly revved the engine after I turned off my BlackBerry and put it to my bag and drove from the parking lot.
My destination: Green Lake Park.
~O~
I stayed at the park until the sun set; just reading some books that I've found from my bag. How those books could be in my bag, I had no idea. I ate my lunch there too. I was truly enjoying my time alone and tried very hard to return to my normal self before I needed to see Joshua tonight. He probably worried for me not coming home in this hour.
After I was positive I could control myself, I drove back to our apartment. As I predicted, I could see Joshua's black car in the garage and I exhaled. I unbuckled my seat belt and got out from my car. I walked slowly to our room and opened the door. I was expecting Joshua to greet me with worried expression, but I spotted him sitting in the living room table with scattered papers in front of him. He looked so serious and..tired. My heart clenched. Perhaps I will stay in my room for tonight.
He didn't know I was home and I sighed. I slowly closed the door and that sound seemed halted his daydreaming because suddenly he turned to look at me and stood from his sitting position.
"Abby? Where were you? I've been trying to call you all day."
I smiled tiredly. "Nowhere. I just want to go to sleep tonight." I walked to my room and then I felt Joshua gently turned me around.
"I'm sorry, dear. I don't mean that. You must be so tired. I can cook you dinner."
I shook my head. I was emotionally exhausted and I needed my sleep. "No, thank you," I stated simply.
I turned around and opened my room. I closed the door behind me and leaned myself into it. I was sure he knew there is something wrong with me. I probably could lie to my boss, but I couldn't lie to him. I shook my head and opened up my closet. I pulled out a T-shirt and pajama pants and grabbed my toiletries bag. I got out from my room and I didn't see Joshua. He probably returned to what he's doing before. I took a warm shower, removing the entire sore that I felt in my body and relaxing my muscles. The smell of strawberry from my shampoo calmed my mood too. I changed my clothes and let my hair half-dry when I got out from the bathroom. My stomach suddenly growled and I sighed. I guessed a simple dinner would be fine.
I walked to the kitchen and saw Joshua already sitting again in the living room reading a piece of paper. I smiled grimly and continued to walk to the kitchen. I started to cook a simple dinner and put my meal to a plate and poured water for myself. I sat on my chair and started to eat my dinner. Several moments later, I felt Joshua wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.
"Hmm...I always love the way you smell," He whispered in husky voice and I shivered. Get a grip, Abby!
I swallowed my food nervously. "Uh...uhm...thanks."
I continued to eat and I felt he was sitting next to me. We didn't say anything until I finished my dinner and put the dishes to the sink. I almost jerked when I felt he hugged me from behind by my waist. I could feel he leaned his chin to my shoulder.
"Are you all right, dear?"
I sighed and turned the sink off. I rubbed my temples. "I was just having a...bad day," I answered in low voice.
He turned my body around to face him and I kept my eyes down. I could feel him sigh and caress my cheek. "Will you please look at me? I miss your beautiful eyes," He whispered.
My heart clenched and I slowly raised my head to look into his eyes.
He smiled a
nd kissed me softly. I closed my eyes when I felt his lips touched mine. I missed him too. He broke his kiss and I opened my eyes again. His hazel eyes bore into my soul and I knew instantly he could see through my lie.
"What happened today, Abby? Did it have something to do with Ryan? Did he-"
I shook my head weakly and leaned my forehead to his chest. I felt like I wanted to cry. I loved him, I missed him, but I couldn't trust him. Especially with what I saw at lunch in the hospital's parking lot. And it killed me.
"Please, dear. Tell me what's wrong. You can't let your problem to be your burden. We are together, remember? I'll always be here for you."
I took deep breaths. "I saw Natalia today."
I could feel he tensed and he leaned away from his embrace to look at my eyes. "You what?"
I looked at him expressionless. "I saw Natalia today," I repeated my words earlier.
Joshua didn't move and he clenched his jaw.
He didn't say anything and I continued, "From the hospital's parking lot."
He released his arms around my body immediately and his eyes widened. "You were...you were in the hospital?"
His shock expression worried me. Did he afraid I caught him...cheating? I swallowed hard. "No. I was in the parking lot. I went to see you, but I saw Natalia walked out from the ER," I answered flatly.
Joshua quickly composed his face. "Abby, it's not what you think."
I narrowed my eyes. "How do you know what I think? I thought you can't read me."
He blinked several times. I think I got him this time. And then he sighed and put his hands on my shoulders. "Please, let me explain..."
If I were the same Abby from seven years ago, I probably walked away from him right now. If I were the same Abby from seven years ago, I probably yelled at him right now and threw the engagement ring in front of his face. But, I was not the same Abby. I could stand on my own feet right now and I wanted to know what happened.
"Do tell!" I said sharply.
Joshua raised his eyebrows slightly when I said that. He knew better when I started to use formal language; I was not in good terms.
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Can we talk about this in the living room? I want to show you something."
I nodded cautiously. "All right."
I followed him to the living room where the table still full with papers and...brochures? I furrowed my eyebrows. When I sat on the couch, I could see clearly what those papers were. I gingerly took one of the brochures and read information about getting a pediatric degree in one of the Ivy League colleges. I slowly looked at Joshua who smiled softly.
"I planned to take my degree this year either we were married or not. Natalia...she came to the hospital to give me these brochures. One of her cousins is preparing for college and she did surveys to some universities and hospitals. I asked her to take some brochures she could find and I think you saw her when she went home. That's all, Abby."
I still didn't trust him. "Why don't you tell me about this? And how did you know about Natalia's cousin?" Are they calling each other behind my back? I shivered.
He sighed. "Abby, my dad told me about Natalia and I told my dad if I could ask for her help to give me the brochures. I never spoke to her by phone. When she came to the hospital, I was in charge and she met with one of the nurses in the ER and asked her to give these brochures to me. I didn't see her. And about all of these...I want to tell you when you got home, but you seemed tired and I don't want this thing to bother you."
I slumped in the couch. Honestly, I still felt tired. I looked again to all the brochures. Harvard, Dartmouth, Boston, UCLA...all of them was in the Ivy League and mostly...it was not close to Seattle. I swallowed hard. How could I stay far away from him? It will take three or four years for Joshua to finish his intern and what will happen to our lives? Should we stay apart? I couldn't just quit my job and follow him around like a lost puppy.
"Abby? What are you thinking?" Worry etched in his tone.
I shook my head slightly. "All these places..." I looked at Joshua. "They are not close to Seattle."
Joshua's expression turned from worried to understanding. "Oh, Abby..." He pulled my body to his embrace once again.
I buried my face to his chest and inhaled his scent. I will miss that too. This was worst than breaking up.
"Abby...baby..." He said in low voice while stroking my hair. "You still can visit me on weekend or I'll come here whenever I can. Do you think I could live apart from you? You are wrong, dear. I don't like it either, but this is for our future together. I'm doing this for both of us."
I nodded slowly. I knew that. He wanted to pursue his dream and I already let go my opportunity in England. That was just a small sacrifice for our better future. Now I knew why he wanted for us to get married soon. It was easier for both of us. I could stay at his place when I visited him with no worries. I definitely didn't want to stay in this apartment alone when he was far away. Maybe I will move again to my old apartment and I didn't have to hear gossips when Joshua stayed in my place.
At this moment I knew I have to trust him. He will live far away from me and I have to trust him completely. I gulped. My heart turned erratic again. I wanted to say it now. I wanted to say the words. I raised my head slowly and looked at his eyes. He looked at me deeply and I cupped his face with my hands.
I leaned my forehead to his and said, "Let's get married."
Joshua went still; just like he did when I accepted his proposal. I made a face and looked at him. He stared at me blankly. I leaned away from him and waved my hand in front of his face. "Joshua?"
No response.
"Joshua?"
Silence.
Okay, this silent thing began to worry me. I shook his shoulders gently. "Joshua!"
He blinked several times. "Did you just say that you want to get married?"
I raised my eyebrows. "Yes, let's get married. It will be easier for both of us, right?"
He frowned. "Oh...I see."
He seemed sad about something and I knew it was because he thought I married him for things to get easier, but I did have other reason. I smiled and stroked his cheek. He looked at me with sad expression.
"I'm not finish," I said.
He looked at me curiously.
I looked at him deeply, ignoring the knot in my stomach and the fluttering heart beat in my chest. He needed to know. "It will be easier for both of us, but also it's because another reason."
He gasped.
I swallowed hard. "I love you, Joshua."
Chapter 25
The Plans and The Unexpected
"You...you what?"
"I love you."
He looked at me in a daze when suddenly he hugged me so tight. He buried his face in my hair while I rubbed his back.
"Oh, Abby...love...do you really mean that? Do you really mean what you just said?"
I nodded. "Yes."
He released me and cupped my face. His hazel eyes were bright and I swore his face was more beautiful with happiness. He laughed shakily. "You don't know...how much I want...to hear that...from you. All those years...all these years..." He continued to rant while I just smiled. He always did that if he felt too happy or too sad.
I gave him a chaste kiss and he went silent. "I will be your wife, Joshua, just like I promised you when I was six years old."
He smiled widely and kissed me fiercely. I kissed him back automatically and clutched to his neck tighter while his arms traveled to my waist. Before I got lost in our kiss, he broke the kiss and our foreheads touched. "Where do you want to get married? In Long Beach or here?"
"Long Beach is fine and so is Seattle. Just not too extravagant." And then I remembered Stella's plan for my bridal shower. I groaned.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?"
I sighed and grimaced. "Stella wants to have a bridal shower for me."
Joshua raised his eyebrows and laughed. "Well, that's not too bad. I probably will have a bachelor p
arty too."
A what?
"Excuse me?"
Joshua shrugged. "I don't want to do that either, but Dr. Keller already planned it for me."
I narrowed my eyes. "Like what? Call a stripper to dance in front of you? Right!" I've heard about some bachelor parties before and I couldn't imagine if my future husband will see another woman with underwear dancing in front of him.
He chuckled. "No, I don't want that. Dr. Keller won't do that to me either. Perhaps I will endure lots of 'advices' for my wedding night," He quoted the word with his fingers.
My eyes widened and I shuddered. "You're kidding, right?"
He grimaced and I hung my head in my hands. That was worse than call a stripper. I think I changed my mind. "I prefer the call girl to dance in front of you," I mumbled.
Joshua chuckled and hugged me. "Silly Abby. I will find my way to escape. There's no one who could make me want to do things like that besides you."
I shivered and cleared my throat. Okay, back to our topic. "Um...when will you start your internship?"
"Well..." He released his hug on me and looked back to the brochures. "Every place has their own schedule, but mostly six months from now."
I nodded. "And where will you stay while you attended the exam? Dorm?"
He chuckled darkly. "Of course not. I will stay at an apartment. If I stayed in dorm, I couldn't let you spend the night with me when you came to visit me."
I blushed. Oh, I forgot about that part.
Joshua smirked and leaned to my ear. "Besides I can't spend my quality time with my wife if I stayed in dorm. I don't want them to hear us."
I blushed harder while Joshua kissed my crimson cheek. He returned to the brochures while I tried my best not to blush any further. "I will have an exam to see if I was capable or not and then if I passed, I'll apply to the hospital and then have an interview."
I raised my eyebrows. "An interview?"
He nodded. "It's just a formality."
I pursed my lips. "I see. And have you decided which university do you take?"
He sighed. "All of them are good, but I graduated from Harvard before and..." He grimaced, "It will be easier for me if I took the exam there."