by Tri Amutia
"From South America, Ma'am. I just moved here with my family."
I smiled. "Please, call me Abby. It's nice to meet you, Josia. Well, my usual order is sandwich with French fries and a coke." I winked at her.
Josia laughed lightly. "Your order will be here soon." And then she turned around and left me again with my gloomy mood.
I sighed sadly and covered my face with my hands. What am I getting myself into? I loved him, I already said I loved him, but then I saw him in another woman's embrace. I knew I shouldn't trust him that easily. The cold band from my engagement ring touched my face and I quickly pulled out that ring from my finger. I looked to the elegant ring for a moment. This ring wasn't for me, I knew that. I closed my eyes briefly and put the ring into my purse. I also pulled out my promise ring and put it to my purse.
And now, I'm just Abby Bennett.
The same old Abby Bennett.
I looked over to the window, to the night activities outside. What am I supposed to do now? I definitely couldn't marry him, not with what I just saw. I almost groaned when I remembered I had to explain to my family about this. I needed to move from that place either, back to my old apartment and started my new life without him. A new life far away from him. Perhaps in England?
I froze.
Could I do it? Going away to England just to escape from him? It sounded childish to me, but it was one of a good reason too. I wanted to forget everything about him, about what we had here. I laughed to myself. I almost gave myself to him and I didn't know I had to laugh or cry when I realized I'm still a virgin. I couldn't imagine if I already gave myself to him and caught him in the act earlier. I will feel unworthy.
Suddenly, I felt disgusting to myself, for letting him touch me, kiss me and even spending the nights with me. I clenched my fist and anger boiled in my blood. I won't let any man fool me like that again. I prefer to be left alone.
"This is your order, Miss Abby."
Josia's voice brought me back to reality and I tried to smile. She put my meals and my drink while she smiled at me. "You look beautiful tonight, Miss. Did you just go home from a party?"
I blinked several times and looked over my dress. I blushed. "Oh...yes...kind of," I stuttered.
She smiled again. "But, your eyes are sad. Are you alright, Miss?"
I sighed. "Yeah."
"Hey, you! Josia! Don't talk to customer. You have a job right here!" A harsh voice was heard from the kitchen.
Josia and I turned our heads to see a big fat man behind the counter and from the corner of my eyes; I could see she rolled her eyes.
Josia turned to me again. "I'm sorry, Miss. That was my manager. I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't mean that. It's just your eyes are so sad and I couldn't help myself to ask you. I'm sorry again, Miss."
She turned away and I blinked several times.
"Wait!" I called her.
Josia turned to me again. "Yes, Miss? Do you like to place another order?"
I bit my lip. I just met her several minutes ago, but somehow I felt I could trust her. Besides, I needed to speak with someone. "Can you ask your manager to give you permission to speak with me?"
She looked surprise, but then smiled. "I'll talk to him, Miss."
I nodded slowly while Josia disappeared to the kitchen. I looked over to my food and began to eat slowly.
A lovely night, indeed.
~O~
I finished my meal when Josia poured another coke in my glass and sat next to me. She was just graduated from college and tried to find a job. Apparently this place needed a waitress and she thought it was the best chance to start a job while waiting for the better one. And it was surprised me when I found out she was an English Lit graduate too. I told her about the previous event, the book launching and her dark eyes were lit with curiosity when she heard my story.
"Oh, so that's why you wearing the lovely dress," She told me.
I nodded.
Josia sighed. "I wish I could get a job like you, Miss Abby. It's my dream too to have a job like yours. I love books very much."
I smiled. "You will find it someday."
She nodded thoughtfully. "You should be happy, though. This is your night. Why are you sad?"
I slumped in my chair. The previous event flashed in my mind and I bit my lip. This time I couldn't keep my tears at bay, I sobbed lightly while I felt Josia gave me some tissues and rubbed my shoulder. She let me cried several moments until I could control my breathing and dried my tears. Good thing I didn't wear mascara tonight, I never liked it anyway.
"I'm sorry," I said to her after I wiped the last tears from my cheek and my eyes.
She smiled genuinely. "That's alright, Miss Abby. It's not good to hold something bad inside, it will consume your soul. You need to let it go."
I nodded slowly. "I bet I look awful now."
Josia raised her eyebrows and giggled.
I frowned. "Am I that hideous?"
"No, Miss. That's not what I mean. You don't look awful. You still look beautiful and your eyes are not sad anymore. Well...mostly." She grinned.
I chuckled.
"Do you want to talk about that, Miss?" She asked in low voice.
I took a deep breath and sipped my coke. The cold water calmed my anger state. "I caught my fiancé with another woman."
Josia gaped at me. "Oh, Miss...I'm so sorry. I'm so rude to ask. Forgive me-"
"It's alright, really," I interjected. "Like you said, I need to let it go. It hurts me when I think about that."
She blinked several times. "Alright. This man...do you love him?"
I smiled grimly and played with my glass. "Yes. Very much."
"And what about him?"
I swallowed hard. "He said he couldn't live without me. He said he did everything that he could just for me, but then I caught him snuggled in the corner with another woman from his childhood."
"Oh, my..." She put her hands to her chest and smiled grimly. "Are you alright, Miss? I mean, when you saw him with her?"
I shrugged. "I felt cheated...of course. But, he was a player before, in our high school time. I guess it's not a big deal for him."
Josia furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't understand, Miss. You said he was a player, but you accepted his proposal. What do I miss here?"
I chuckled nervously and began to tell her about my childhood 'engagement', the time when we were separated, the high school time and when I met him again months ago. She listened to my story curiously with no intention to interrupt. I've never felt so much free to tell about my personal life with someone before, apart from...him.
Josia nodded thoughtfully when I finished my story. "I see...but, Miss, if he really loved you, he couldn't do something like that to you, could he?"
I scoffed. "Well, he just did."
She shook her head. "I don't think so, Miss, something is wrong here. There could be another reason."
My face was hard instantly and Josia smiled warmly when she saw my expression. "Miss, I'm not defending him, if that's what you think. From your story, I can tell that this Joshua is a very smart person. He knows better to cheat with you, Miss. If he did, he was wasting all of his effort to have you back. I'll call him dumber than a donkey."
I chuckled lightly.
That's correct.
Dumber than a donkey.
"Why don't you try to talk and listen to him, Miss?"
I blinked several times. I've heard that one before. Where did I hear those words? I racked my brain and suddenly I remembered my conversation with Stella days ago. I frowned. Could it be this is what she sees? But, she still insisted there will be a wedding. I should see her and spoke with her. Josia smiled when she saw a determination flashed in my eyes.
"So, who do you want to see now, Miss?"
I smiled knowingly. "A friend of mine."
She laughed. "Good luck, Miss. You are a good person. Your destiny will lead you to a good one too."
I raised my eyebrows. "Are you a
psychic?"
Josia winked. "You can say that."
I chuckled and looked over to the clock in the room. It's almost midnight. I turned to Josia. "Thank you for talking with me. I feel so much better."
She smiled and held my hand. "May all the blessings always be with you, Miss Abby."
I smiled back. “Thank you, Josia. So, do you have a night shift?"
"My shift is over at 12.00, Miss. Thank you for saving me from my manager." She winked again.
I chuckled and pulled out a pen from my purse. I wrote my number in the bill. "This is my number. Call me if you need anything. Maybe I can find you a job at a publishing company."
Her eyes lit up and she wrote her number too. She tore the paper and gave it to me. "Thank you, Miss Abby. Thank you so much."
I winked and grabbed my purse. I stood up and wore my jacket. "Good night, Josia. Be careful on your way home."
She smiled. "Don't worry, Miss. My father will pick me up."
I nodded and turned around. I walked out from the cafe and stopped another taxi. I gave him the address of my apartment and prayed silently Joshua won't be there. I stared blankly outside the window during the journey and then I felt the taxi stopped. I looked over my apartment complex and exhaled in relief when I didn't see Joshua's Ford. He probably spent the night with Natalia.
I shuddered.
I shook my head and quickly paid the fees. I got out from the taxi and strolled to my room. I unlocked the door and half running to my bedroom, didn't bother to turn the lights on. I changed my clothes hastily, grabbed a bag and filled it with some clothes, underwear, my toiletries bag and my iPod. I grabbed my charger, my wallet and my BlackBerry from my purse. I stopped momentarily when I felt the two rings that Joshua gave me in the bottom of the purse. I carried my bag and pulled out both of the rings. I got out from my bedroom and walked to the living room. I stood there for a moment while my hand held the rings. I looked at those rings briefly before I put it on the living room table. I took a deep breath and walked out from my room after I locked the door. I will return my keys to the landlord soon.
I walked out from my apartment building and quickly got in into my sedan. I revved the engine, but it won't start. I tried again, but it still won't start. I tried again and again, but still to no avail. I sighed and leaned my head to the seat. I guessed this was not the end of my relationship with Joshua, but the end of my sedan too. I chuckled to myself and got out from the dead car. I walked slowly to the main road and stopped another taxi. I looked over to my sedan and my apartment for the last time before I had my getaway.
Chapter 27
The Big Apple and The Big Help
I stayed at a hotel that night, waiting the dawn to break. No, not at an expensive hotel; just an average one. Even though I was alone in the room, but I couldn't sleep at all. I just lay on my back and staring at the ceiling while I turned the TV on and I chose a music channel. I didn't know what time it was when I able to close my eyes and only stayed sleeping for just one hour. I still felt cheated, angry and mostly...betrayed. Those sweet words he said to me, could it be a lie? If it did, why did he waste so much of his time to do that?
I checked out from the hotel when the sun was rising and I stopped another taxi to take me to the airport. I purchased a ticket for the early flight to New York. While waiting for my flight, I turned my BlackBerry on and the phone vibrated several times. 2 missed calls from my dad, 5 missed calls from my mom and 15 missed calls from...him. I also received 7 messages from the same person. I took a deep breath and deleted all the missed calls. I pondered with myself to open the messages or not and then I realized I didn't want to hear from him right now. I deleted all the messages without reading it. Suddenly my phone vibrated again and I saw his name on the caller ID. I turned off my BlackBerry without answering his call.
I've waited for another 15 minutes before finally I could step into the plane and took my seat. I chose the window seat and leaned my head to the seat. I didn't know what I felt now. I felt lost and my decision to see my best friend in Big Apple was a snap one. I doubted she knew I'll come to New York. Well, honestly I've never been to New York. I just considered this is my getaway and also my...short vacation. Of course, I thought about my job too. I still had one day from my extra day off and maybe I could ask for my day off from Christmas holiday. That meant I had two days in New York before I had to go back to Seattle and dealt with all of the issue.
The journey to New York was long enough, almost half of the day; and I spent my journey by listening to some music from my iPod and read Helena's book. My plane landed on John F. Kennedy International Airport after lunch time. I walked out from my terminal and grabbed my bag from the baggage claim and walked out to find a taxi. I've always heard New York was a busy place, even in the airport. All people here seemed busy with their own world. They didn't even notice a small town girl from Long Beach walked among them.
I stopped a taxi and gave him Stella's apartment address. I never imagined I will need that right now. I was too distract to see New York for the first time, seeing the big building, the busy street, with people walked in fast pace on the sidewalk. And it's not New York if you don't get caught by traffic jam. I was trapped for an hour before finally the taxi could move again. I couldn't imagine how Stella and Evan could endure with this kind of thing every day.
The taxi stopped at a building and I looked at the tall building briefly before I paid the fees and got out from the car. I took a deep breath and stepped inside the building. Stella's apartment was a simple building and here I was already in front of her apartment door after I showed some of my IDs to the security. I closed my eyes briefly before opened it again. I raised my hand gingerly and knocked on her door several times. My heart was drummed loudly in my chest and I started to feel nervous. I fidgeted in my feet several times before finally I heard the door was unlocked and opened. My best friend's eyes widened when she saw me while I grinned sheepishly. I was sure I looked horrible now, with the lack of sleep and emotionally exhausted.
"Abby?"
I smiled weakly. "Hi, Stella."
She blinked several times. "W-what...how...what are you doing here? Are...are you alone?"
I took a deep breath. "Yes."
Stella seemed come back from her daze and quickly hugged me. "Oh, Abby. You look so tired. Come on in."
I nodded slowly and released her hug. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and took me to sit on the couch in the living room. I looked around and I instantly felt comfortable. This room is so...Stella. Some of her best designs were pinned on a memorabilia board, a shelf full with fancy magazines, a plasma TV, a fancy stereo and of course her DVD collections. Her apartment had living room, one bedroom, one bathroom, one studio, one kitchen and dining room. I didn't mind if I had to sleep on the couch, though.
"Do you want something to drink or maybe eat?" She asked me.
I shook my head slowly. "I need to use your bathroom if I can and maybe have some sleep first. I'm sure you want to ask why I'm here right now."
Stella smiled warmly. "Of course, Abby. You can sleep in my room. I need to do something in my studio anyway. Just make yourself comfortable, all right?"
I nodded. "Thank you, Stella."
She smiled again and strolled to her studio while I opened my bag to grab some fresh clothes and my toiletries bag. I took a warm shower, washed my hair and changed my clothes. I stepped out from the bathroom and popped my head from her studio's door to find Stella sitting behind her design desk.
"I want to sleep now. Are you sure you're ok if I left you?"
Stella rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about me, Abby. Just have some rest, all right. You look like a zombie. Hell, even Milla Jovovich couldn't see the difference between you and the real zombie."
I chuckled lightly. "I'll see you this afternoon, Stella."
I walked to Stella's room and pulled out the blue comforter from her bed. Her room was simple, with a huge closet, a make-up table and
a desk. I curled up under the comforter and after the long hours, I finally able to sleep peacefully.
~O~
I woke up when the day turned dark. The curtain was closed and Stella turned on her bedside lamp. My body felt stiff and my head was pounding. I searched for a clock in the room and founded it near the bedside lamp. It read 8.00 pm. I groaned.
I slowly got up from my bed and walked out from the bedroom. Stella was sitting on the floor in front of the living room table with some sketches in front of her. She sensed my arrival and smiled when she saw me.
"Hey. Have a good sleep?"
I nodded and rubbed my eyes. I slumped to the couch and leaned my head. "I sleep like a zombie."
She giggled. "I don't want to disturb you. You look so exhausted. By the way, are you hungry? I left some Chinese takeout in the kitchen."
I blinked several times. "Oh, no...Stella, you shouldn't-"
"No, I don't want to hear it!" She said sternly. "Just go to the kitchen and have your dinner. You didn't eat anything from lunch time."
I grimaced. "All right."
I walked to the kitchen to find some takeouts on the dining table and my stomach growled. I guessed I was too hungry now. I ate my dinner greedily, realized I didn't eat anything since I checked out from the hotel. I felt so much better after I finished my dinner and I quickly cleaned the table. I walked back to the living room to find Stella still working on her sketches.
"New designs?" I asked her when I flopped myself on the couch.
She nodded, but never tore her gaze from the paper. "It's for the next edition." And then she looked at me. "So, what are you doing here? In New York?"
I sighed. "Just a short vacation." I wasn't ready to tell her about what happened the other day.
Stella stared at me with her blue eyes. "Joshua called me when you slept," She said cautiously.
I tensed and anger boiled automatically in my blood. I clenched my jaw. "And what did you say to him?" I asked flatly.
"I didn't say anything," Stella said. "He asked me if I knew where you were or if you told me where you are. At that moment, I knew you were running away from him."