by Tri Amutia
I cursed under my breath. Damn him!
"Abby? What happened?" Stella asked me and sat next to me on the couch.
I tried to control my breathing and rubbed my temples. "I caught him with Natalia."
Stella blinked several times. "He what?"
I nodded slowly and looked at my best friend. "I had a book launching yesterday and I went there with Joshua. He said he wanted to get me some drinks, but he never showed back. I needed to find him because my boss was looking for me. I searched him and found him in the corner of the room with that strawberry blond wrapped her arms around his neck. He didn't fight it, Stella. He seemed...enjoy it." And the pain crept back to my chest. I clutched my chest unconsciously and started to sob.
"Oh, Abby..." Stella soothed me and pulled me on a hug.
I sobbed freely in her embrace, letting go all my frustration, my anger and the betrayed feeling. Stella continued to whisper 'I'm sorry' while her stroking my hair. After seemed like hours, my tears were dry and I felt much better. Stella leaned away to grab some tissues from the table and gave it to me. I dried my cheeks and my eyes until my crying was really stopped.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Stella whispered.
I shrugged. "It's ok, really. It's a good thing I know that now and not after the wedding. I don't think I could take it."
She furrowed her eyebrows. "But, it's strange, though. Why would he do that? He loves you so much, Abby."
I scoffed. "That's a lame reason. I don't trust him anymore." And then I remembered something. "You said something to me, though, about talk to him and listen to him. What was that about?"
Stella sighed. "I just had some...visions...about the two of you. But, I couldn't see you afterwards. I think I know that now. You decided to come here without plans."
I nodded slowly. "I just need to stay away from him for a while."
"But, I still see the wedding," Stella said again.
I snorted. "There will be no wedding, Stella," I spat. "I returned the ring to him."
"But, honestly, I still see it, Abby. You will find a way to forgive him, though," Stella insisted.
I rolled my eyes. "The only way for me to forgive him is when the hell freezes. Keep dreaming, though."
Stella smiled warmly and held my hands. "My premonition is never wrong, Abby. The truth is I couldn't see Joshua too. Perhaps what he decided or what he will decide has something to do with your forgiveness."
I stared at her. "The future is uncertain, Stella."
My best friend smiled knowingly. "Yes, but some things are certain, Abby. And the love Joshua has for you is true. Never doubt that!"
I narrowed my eyes. "Did you already know he loved me since we were in high school?"
Stella grimaced. "Well...you can say that."
"Stella!"
She rolled her eyes. "You will never believe me even if I tell you, silly. You hate him too much. But, now he's changed. I can feel it."
I scoffed but didn't say anything.
And then she grinned. "And of course, since I have a special guest here, I will give her the full tour in New York City."
I blinked several times. "Huh?"
She giggled and winked. "I just called my boss to give me two days off and she granted it. I can spend my time here with you."
I scratched my head. "Um...I didn't say I will stay here for two days."
She grinned. "Have you forgotten something?" She tapped her temple. "I can see."
I rolled my eyes.
Sure.
~O~
I insisted to sleep in the couch that night while I suggested Stella to sleep in her room. She needed to rest in a better place and I felt awful to invade her bed for half of the day. I couldn't sleep through the night, so I spent my night by watching some meaningless shows from the plasma TV while I lay on the couch. Somewhere after midnight, I was able to close my eyes.
Stella woke me up early in the morning. I grudgingly woke up from my imperfect sleep and took a quick shower. We got out from Stella's apartment when the clock showed 6.30 am.
"Stella, where are we going? It's still early," I said to her while waiting for our subway.
She grinned. "I told you before I want to give you a tour. First destination is The Statue of Liberty."
I raised my eyebrows. "Seriously?"
Stella just giggled.
When the clock showed 8.30 am, I called my office and spoke to Mr. Smith. I told him I want to take my last extra day off and one day from my Christmas holiday. He granted my wish again and I was looking forward to spend my time with Stella. Honestly, I've never been to The Statue of Liberty before. Stella took me there and I declined her offer to go inside the statue. I prefer to see it from outside. Stella took some pictures of me and both of us with the help from other tourists. After The Statue of Liberty, she took me to the Ground Zero, where The World Trade Centre was stood before it was collapsed from terrorist attacks on 2001. A memorial was built there, a reminder of them who lost their lives that day. The next destination was The Empire State Building.
"I see this building on Spiderman 2," I said to Stella after I took some pictures in front of the tall building.
She chuckled. "Yeah, I know that too. Perhaps if we were lucky, we could see him now."
I laughed lightly.
Our stomach growled when we walked on the sidewalk. Stella took me to a cafe and we had our lunch there. One thing I forgot about Stella was she loved shopping and I helplessly followed her around among the stores in Times Square. She bought me a simple green dress too. She said I will need it someday.
We took a break when I felt my feet were getting sore. Shopping bags already full in both of my hands. "Um...Stella, I think it's enough for now. We need to rest. It's already 4 in the afternoon," I said to her, feeling tired. I didn't think I could walk to another block of stores for shopping.
Stella looked at my tired expression. "All right. Come on. Let's go home."
I nodded slowly and we walked back to the subway. We rode our route back to the station nearest Stella's apartment. We continued to walk to her apartment and I flopped myself on the couch when we arrived at her room. She also sat next to me and we both leaned our heads to the couch.
"That was a lovely day, Stella. Thank you so much," I said to her.
She giggled. "You're welcome, Abby." And then her phone vibrated and she furrowed her eyebrows. Stella pulled out her phone and rolled her eyes.
She flipped her phone open. "Yes, Betty?"
I raised my eyebrows. Betty?
Stella rolled her eyes again. "I told you I'm taking my day off today and tomorrow. You can finish your work by yourself, can't you?"
I shook my head and looked over at the ceiling.
She scoffed. "Fine. I'll be there. Just give me one hour." And then she flipped the phone closed.
I looked at Stella who already closed her eyes and leaned to the couch. "Duty call?"
Stella sighed and looked at me. "Sorry, Abby, but I guess I'll leave you alone tonight. I promise to go home as soon as possible."
I chuckled and hit her shoulder playfully. "Hey, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. By the way, how's Evan? I didn't see him since I got here."
Stella smiled grimly. "He had a convention in DC. He'll be home on Wednesday." Evan was working as history instructor in a university.
"Oh, I see."
Stella looked at me. "What will you do, Abby, after you coming back to Seattle?"
I smiled grimly. "I was thinking to accept my boss' offer in England."
"England?" Stella asked me in shock.
I looked at her. "My office is going to open new offices in New York and England. He wanted me to fill the position in England. I declined because I thought about...him...before." I even couldn't say his name. It hurts too much.
"And?"
"My boss didn't like it, of course. He said he wanted to talk with me after the book launching was finished. I think I will talk to him again when I go to
work on Wednesday. I'll accept the offer."
Stella sighed. "It doesn't have to be that way, Abby."
I clenched my fist. "I want to start a new life. I want to forget everything about him, Stella. He already did too much. I don't want him to ruin my life."
She pursued her lips. "At least talk to him first, Abby. He has the right to know."
I didn't answer her.
Stella sighed again and got up from the couch. "I want to take my shower first. I promise I'll go home as soon as possible."
I rolled my eyes. "I told you before I'll be fine. Now, go!"
Stella gave me a salute. "Yes, Ma'am."
I chuckled and shook my head. She went to her office 45 minutes later while I was sulking on the couch and trying to find a movie, but to no avail. My stomach growled and I rolled my eyes. I got up from the couch and decided to take a quick shower. I changed my clothes and opened the fridge to find something that edible to cook. I pursed my lips when I found Stella's fridge was nearly empty. I sighed and grabbed my wallet. I got out from the apartment and looking back and forth to find a cafe or diner. I tried to remember the direction and then I spotted a small diner one block from her place. I ate my dinner there and thanked to heaven there were no men who tried to bug me.
I got out from the diner and walked back to Stella's place. But, when I walked to a dark street, I sensed I've been followed. I turned back slightly and saw two men already following me. My eyes widened and I quickly ran away. But, being clumsy I was, I tripped. The men laughed at me and grabbed me to stand.
"Look at you, honey. You're pretty. Do you mind if we give you a company?" One of them said to me. I could smell alcohol from his breath. They were drunk.
"Please, just let me go," I said to them, trying to be brave.
The other man chuckled. "Did you hear that, Jimmy? She wants us to let her go." And then he leaned closer to my face while I turned away from him. He grabbed my face roughly while I fought not to cry. I preferred if they kill me now rather than did something to me. "Look at me when I talk to you!" His hands started to roam over my body and I squirmed.
Oh, God, no!
"Hey, let the girl go!"
The man stopped and both of them looked at a big guy stood feet away from us. I couldn't see his face because it was dark.
They chuckled. "He wants us to stop?"
One of them, I guessed it was Jimmy, walked over to the man while the other one still held me tightly. "This is not your business, dude. I suggest you to go away."
The big guy laughed. "You want to hurt that lady. I will not let that happen."
Jimmy chuckled and the suddenly attacked the guy. The fight didn't last long because after some punches, Jimmy collapsed on the ground. The man who held me pushed me to the ground and I tried to control my body from shaking. I couldn't see what happened next. I just heard a big loud thud and someone touched my shoulder lightly.
I yelped.
"Hey, hey, it's all right. I already take care of them. Are you okay?"
I furrowed my eyebrows. I've heard that voice before, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I nodded slowly. "I'm...fine. Thank you."
"Come on. I'll help you," He said again.
The guy helped me to stand and held me when I wobbled at my feet. He grimaced. "I think I better take you home. Do you live around here?"
I took deep breaths. "Uh..yeah...thanks."
He helped me to walk and when we reached a crowded street, I could see who my savior was. I blinked several times. "Kevin?"
He seemed startled and then grinned. "You're Abby, right?"
I chuckled and shook my head. "I can't believe I'll see you here. Thank you for helping me."
He shrugged. "Nah, it's no problem. You should have been more careful, though. New York is not a friendly place at night for a young woman."
I grimaced. "I'll keep that in mind."
"So, you're alone? Where's that Walsh guy?"
My heart turned erratic and I swallowed hard. "Uh...I came to New York alone."
His eyebrows shot up. "Really? Wow!"
I chuckled. "Yeah. Wow."
Kevin laughed. "Where are you staying now?"
I grimaced again. "Stella's."
"Ah," He smiled knowingly.
And then I could see Stella's apartment and smiled to him. "Thanks again, Kevin. I owe you one."
He waved his hand. "Never mind about that. Are you sure you can walk on your own?"
I looked over my feet. "Er...yeah."
He raised his eyebrows. "All right."
I smiled and turned around, but after several steps, I wobbled again. I could hear him chuckled. I frowned. "Come on, Abby. I'll take you to Stella's room."
I grinned sheepishly and Kevin helped me walked to Stella's room. Kevin opened the door and suddenly Stella appeared in front of us. "Abby, where were..." And then she raised her eyebrows. "Kevin?"
We both grimaced. Stella crossed her arms over her chest. "What happened?"
Kevin told Stella what happened after we all sat on the couch. Stella's eyes widened when Kevin told her how those guys tried to...hurt me. I really owed him, though.
"Abby, are you sure you want to sleep in the couch? What about your leg?" She asked me after Kevin excused himself to go home.
I rolled my eyes. "I'll be fine, Stella. I just need some rest and everything is going to be fine."
Stella still looked unsure.
I sighed. "Please, Stella."
Stella exhaled. "All right. Good night, Abby."
She helped me settled on the couch before she walked to her own room. Sleep caught me fast that night with me dreaming of Joshua for the first time since I left Seattle.
~O~
I woke up by the knocking sound from the door. It won't stop and I almost groaned. Who could possibly knock the door frantically in...I looked over the clock...7.00 am? I got up from the couch and walked slowly to the door. My leg still felt hurt while the knocking sound was still heard. I opened the door and froze.
I couldn't move.
I didn't expect to see...him.
There...behind the door...I saw Joshua!
Chapter 28
The Confrontation and The Conversation
He looked awful, no...he looked...miserable. His expression showed me how tired he was and the dark circles under his eyes showed me he probably didn't sleep in long time. His hair was a mess. Perhaps he ran his hands several times through those reddish locks. His clothes were just a T-shirt, a jacket and jeans, but it looked like he didn't change for days. His eyes, although it was still the piercing hazel, was dull. He seemed didn't have any will to live or even breathe.
He stared at me and I stared back. The pain in my chest slowly appeared and some parts of my heart was feeling relieved when I saw him. He still had my heart, of course, but what he did with Natalia was enough for me to make a decision to stay away from him. He took a step closer while I took one step backward.
"Abby...you're here..." He said and his hazel eyes were lit briefly with happiness.
I clenched my fists, trying to control the anger in my body. "How did you know I was here?" I asked him flatly.
No one knew I was here, except...Stella. My heart beat fluttered. Did she tell him I was here? I thought she didn't say anything to him. Did she lie to me?
I narrowed my eyes. "What are you doing here?" I spat to him.
"Abby, who's..." Suddenly Stella appeared next to me, still in her pajamas, and her eyes widened. "Joshua?"
Her words snapped something inside me. I looked at Stella with anger. "Did you tell him that I'm here?"
Stella looked at me, confused. "No."
I chuckled darkly. "Don't lie to me, Stella. No one knows I'm here, except you!"
Stella clenched her jaw. "I will never betray you like he did, Abby." From the corner of my eyes, I saw him flinched slightly when Stella said the word 'betray'.
I rolled my eyes. "He could beg you to tell him where I am."
Joshua's voice stopped our argument and we both looked to his direction. He still stood at the door and his eyes stared at me. "She didn't tell me, Abby. I came here by myself."
Silence.
And then I heard Stella sigh and she turned around to walk away from us. I still stood on my spot and so did he. Stella appeared again, not on her pajamas anymore and she wore a jacket.
"I will leave you two here. Be nice and solve this problem. Understand?"
Neither of us answered.
"Good!"
Stella continued to walk and got out from her own place. Again, I felt bad to make her do that. I sighed and rubbed my temples. I wished I could disappear right now.
"Can we talk?" He asked me in low voice.
I sighed again. I didn't have much choice, though. Even if I ran, I couldn't outrun him with my leg. I didn't answer him, just gestured with my hand so he could come inside. I walked slowly to the living room and I could tell he knew there was something wrong with my leg.
"Are you all right, Abby?"
I glared at him. "I'm fine," I said curtly.
His eyes flashed with sadness and he nodded. I sat on the couch and so did he, but I put some distance between us. Some parts from my body urged me to come closer to him, but I fought it. I didn't want to give up to that temptation right now.
"How are you? I've been looking for you these two days," He said to me.
I scoffed. "I think you know better than anyone how I felt, Joshua!" Some parts from my heart clenched when I said his name. "I have a fiancé who said he loved me, who said he wanted to marry me since he was six years old, he gave me a promise ring, he gave me an engagement ring and then I saw him snuggled in another woman's embrace. So, tell me how do I feel now, Joshua?"
He didn't say anything, but looked at me with sad eyes. "Abby-"
"Look, I don't need your explanation," I interjected. I didn't want to hear all of his lies again. "Now, you know I'm here and I'm fine. I'll come back to Seattle this afternoon and then I'll move back to my old apartment. We are done, Joshua, and our engagement is off!"
He clenched his jaw and his eyes flashed with anger. "You want to call off our engagement without listening to my explanation first? Do you have any idea how worried I am these two days? I can't eat, I can't sleep and hell, even I can't breathe. I don't know where you are and you never answered my calls either."